Granny

It was a situation which sprung on us suddenly in the middle of January this year. She was still ok and responding to us when we brought her out during Christmas in December 2012. But in mid-Jan, Granny suddenly stopped talking. And then by early February, it seemed that she was not registering anything we said. She’d look at us, sometimes quizzically, sometimes blankly, sometimes grumpily, but all the while not talking. It seems as though she does not recognise us as well. Not me, not my Dad, not my Aunt, not my brother.

She can still feed herself though it gets as messy as a two-year-old feeding himself. Whatever it is, I am still taking this as a good sign. At least her motor skills are still there.

It has been 2 months since she’s stopped talking. Maybe I should be accepting this fact by now but I am finding it extremely hard to. Each week when I visit her, I still try to talk to her. My Dad still shows her photos and pictures of my family members on his phone. We talk to her, help to feed her and try to incite a response from her. To no avail so far.

I don’t know if it is a conscious effort on her part to refuse to speak or a part of her brain has just stopped functioning the way it’s supposed to. I miss her talking, even if it is about nonsense stuff or about things and deceased people from decades ago. At least I know she is thinking and processing some things in her mind. Right now, all we get are blank stares. We don’t even get any grunts, groans or sounds coming from her.

It is upsetting. It is always upsetting to see her deteriorating. And tears always flow when I think of her and how she used to be.