Jiayou

It’s been a xian & restless period. Getting increasingly xian.

I hope it’s just a phase. Various things.

 

Junior staff (but most senior in age) bickering and being calculative with each other

Big boss throwing a GPT-derived business development proposal to me and asking me to assess & implement

Other teams’ staff not doing work properly to support my team

Own staff texting me every other day that they can’t come to office cos of myriad reasons

Own staff wayang-ing about things

Entitled end-users banging table and faulting/threatening us when it was their own doing

 

Come to think of it, been rather teary this year.

I thought it was due to the monthly cycle. On deeper thought, while the cycle may have exacerbated those emotional feelings, I think I’m already not feeling too good about things to begin with.

 

Thoughts of quitting occasionally surface again.

 

Setting these aside.

 

In the meantime.

 

Grit teeth. Keep walking.

 

咬牙继续走

Reminders at Work

1. Stay calm – don’t show you’re stressed, being composed speaks more
2. Stay friendly but keep personal life private – be approachable but not necessarily available to all
3. Support your immediate boss – keep them prepared & ready for their own boss. If/When they go up, they pull you up as well
4. Build relationships where they matter – not all who hold titles make or influence decisions
5. Stay out of gossip – listen but don’t be the source of it

clam....shell...

Attended a half-day course yesterday. All participants were ROs. Around 30 of us, with another 3-4 pax from the Workplace Development & HR teams who conducted and facilitated the session. 

Again I felt small & inadequate. Within the cluster group I was seated with, I could still speak a little & interact. I tried to siam all other presentations or impromptu speaking that needed to address the whole room. Was quite glad I managed to do so. 

Those who were cued could speak on the fly and articulate things so nicely. 

I'd clam up. 

:( 

底气

 爱人， 孩子， 家人， 好友

他们给的支持，依靠， 能量，爱和安全感

是我面对一切的底气

The Girls

N had a monumentally bad day last Friday. One of those days when anything & everything somehow didn’t go well. From some of her lessons sitting next to an annoying boy, to dance practice being very annoying, to her dance costume being very annoyingly ill-fitting and yada yada…

She reached home late around 6 or 615pm. Face was black and by the time she came upstairs & saw me, her mood was foul. Threw her stuff on the floor, started complaining to me, and then bawled big time. Sat on the floor and threw a tantrum, while still bawling.

Felt quite bad for her at the time. Offered a hug but was rejected. Ok so we’re at the age where hugs are “icky” unless initiated by her….Anyway, glad I managed to 误打误撞 that same night and managed to manually sew & alter her dance costume to fit her better. That helped ease her mind quite a fair bit.  

==========

It was A’s turn to have a bad bad day yesterday. She did not get into the Prefectorial Board Exco though she was initially shortlisted for a group interview. And…according to her, she was wrongfully scolded by her Science teacher for daydreaming in class. She said she was not doing that at all and felt very 委屈 about being called out & scolded in front of the whole class for something she did not do.

A classmate had also been borrowing items from her and “throwing” things back on her desk after using them. She’d been feeling fairly annoyed and upset with this classmate’s behaviour & interrruptions as well.

She was glum the entire evening right up till bedtime when she spent 15mins plus sharing her feelings with me.

I sat with her & listened. Also offered some potential solutions, which on hindsight I wondered if I should have given or not. Perhaps she only needed a listening ear.

AI - yah

And then there's this sudden pressure/push to adopt AI or use it in various ways in your work. 

Think about how it can improve or streamline your existing processes, etc. 

I am old school. I take long to learn new tech. 

And yes, while I am somewhat open, I am lazy, I am not savvy & I am a klutz at such stuff. 

AIyah.........

Sigh. 

Stress leh. 

FB post

Came across an FB post. Thought it was quite nice and real. 

Real strength isn’t found in throwing the hardest punch. It’s found in having the character to do what’s right when emotions are running high. Choosing courage over anger.

Parenting

I hope I am guiding the girls well enough in life. 

I wonder at times if I am too lax in certain areas or too strict in other areas.

I hope I equip them with enough knowledge and tips to handle their physical, emotional, mental changes as they transition from tweenhood to teenagehood, from primary school to secondary school, from being fully sheltered to now slowly exploring the world on their own.

A little bit more each day I see the babyness fading away. 

A little bit more each day I let go.

A little bit more each day I wonder how long more before they start rejecting my hugs or don't need them anymore. 

做个比较

Nag in office

Nag at home

 

Babysitter in office

Babysitter at home

 

后者是情愿的

前者是被情况所逼的