The Girls

N had a monumentally bad day last Friday. One of those days when anything & everything somehow didn’t go well. From some of her lessons sitting next to an annoying boy, to dance practice being very annoying, to her dance costume being very annoyingly ill-fitting and yada yada…

She reached home late around 6 or 615pm. Face was black and by the time she came upstairs & saw me, her mood was foul. Threw her stuff on the floor, started complaining to me, and then bawled big time. Sat on the floor and threw a tantrum, while still bawling.

Felt quite bad for her at the time. Offered a hug but was rejected. Ok so we’re at the age where hugs are “icky” unless initiated by her….Anyway, glad I managed to 误打误撞 that same night and managed to manually sew & alter her dance costume to fit her better. That helped ease her mind quite a fair bit.  

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It was A’s turn to have a bad bad day yesterday. She did not get into the Prefectorial Board Exco though she was initially shortlisted for a group interview. And…according to her, she was wrongfully scolded by her Science teacher for daydreaming in class. She said she was not doing that at all and felt very 委屈 about being called out & scolded in front of the whole class for something she did not do.

A classmate had also been borrowing items from her and “throwing” things back on her desk after using them. She’d been feeling fairly annoyed and upset with this classmate’s behaviour & interrruptions as well.

She was glum the entire evening right up till bedtime when she spent 15mins plus sharing her feelings with me.

I sat with her & listened. Also offered some potential solutions, which on hindsight I wondered if I should have given or not. Perhaps she only needed a listening ear.

Parenting

I hope I am guiding the girls well enough in life. 

I wonder at times if I am too lax in certain areas or too strict in other areas.

I hope I equip them with enough knowledge and tips to handle their physical, emotional, mental changes as they transition from tweenhood to teenagehood, from primary school to secondary school, from being fully sheltered to now slowly exploring the world on their own.

A little bit more each day I see the babyness fading away. 

A little bit more each day I let go.

A little bit more each day I wonder how long more before they start rejecting my hugs or don't need them anymore. 

Conversations with the Tween & the Teenager

And so...the soon-to-be 13yr-old told me last night while fiddling with my jiggly flabby thighs & calves.

N: "Mama...so jiggly!! You want to try Taichi Walking? I saw the ads on YouTube."

Me: "You know those videos are AI-generated right?"

N: "Is it? Anyway, no harm giving it a try. But ok lah, jiggly is cute too." *continues giggling while shaking my flabby lower limbs"

And the soon-to-be 11yr-old followed up with:

A: "Mama is jiggly....Jigglypuff!! Mama can be jigglypuff! Pokemon jigglypuff is cute!"

救命啊....

Frank

"Oh I thought I saw Auntie Diana just now! She looked quite 'auntie'."

So said the big one. 

"Really? I didn't see her. I'm also quite auntie."

Was my response.

"You're more auntie."

Ouch.  :( :( :(

有时候不用那么直接也是件好事 lol....

Dance Mama

And...it was dance competition weekend again. 

Of false eyelashes & eyeliner. Of eyeshadow & lipstick. Of hairspray & gel. Of u-pins & netting.

Of getting her to the venue at least 1.5hrs before the performance time. And then playing the waiting game and hanging around till the performance time before going in to watch that <5mins of performance. 

But...if it's for her...

K & I & Mei Mei will do what we can to support her.

At a crossroads now. 

She likes it but it's taking up alot of time. 

Between schoolwork and dance, something's gotta give...even if not giving up totally but at least adjusted slightly....it will have to be dance that needs to be adjusted. School cannot be compromised. We're in Singapore. You're in the rat race the moment you're born. 

Will need to cut down on dance commitments for the next dance season. Either we skip it the competitions totally, or we just commit to 2 or 3 group dances hmm. 

Talk

N & I had a talk a couple of nights ago. I can’t recall how it started and everything.

But we touched on some of her frustrations and big feelings. How she feels we all love A more and think A is better, how A always gets away with things, how when N & A are being rowdy but N is the one who gets the scolding…and then it morphed into other issues like how K is too strict, and how I am too grouchy/grumpy at times, and how she misses our own space at Blu-Coral, etc…

I apologized and shared with her that I am still learning as a mother. I may not be right all the time and I have my own failings. But I’m trying and will keep trying to improve myself as well. I did share that it was sometimes very difficult to talk to her especially when she was having an “attitude”, and how it made me feel a little sad when she snapped at me or didn’t want anything to do with me. I spoke of how I felt her attitude toward me had a big shift in 2023. From having had a 免死金牌 from her…to me being somewhat like a baddie

I guess being abit more open with each other helps?

As the kids grow, and I get older (and more grumpy), I guess it’s a constant effort having to adjust to how to interact with them…

Just thankful that they are still open to sharing things with me...

Kitty

A has a journal that she sometimes writes in. She named the journal “Kitty”.

While looking through her P5 English file a few days ago as her teacher asked for parents to sign some worksheets. I came across a small paragraph she wrote, where she shared about having Kitty and why she had Kitty.

“Sometimes I feel down and want to talk to my mother but she is at work, so I write in Kitty instead.”

☹☹☹

After all these years, I still feel unbalanced quite often. At work think about family. At home think about work. 

Of poetry and homework

One part of N's English homework today involved a creative assignment. I liked the assignment. So fun!

But it was pek chek trying to guide the teen. All I got was "I dunno! I dunno! Ugh! I dunno!" zzzzz....

She had to write a poem of at least 5 lines, with the first line being a line of lyrics from a song. The other subsequent lines had to be original lines formed by herself. 

Anyway, after much guidance, suggestions, advice from K & I.....

1st line coming from her fav pop song currently "My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne....

And voila........an emo, slightly angsty piece!

Don’t leave me hanging

Tangled in my dreams

After all that I’ve done for you

What have you left me

Nothing

But rivers of tears

Jiayou Lady!

New year, new schedules. 

This year, my entire 1st half of the day will be spent at Parkway Parade till 1pm. Alyssa's Math at845am, then groceries, then park myself at foodcourt to wait for her after her class ends, then lunch, then her Science class till this class ends at 1pm. 

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Was at the foodcourt as usual yesterday morning. Sat at a table next a a Mum, her 8 or 9-yr old daughter, and their helper. 

The mum was oscillating between "frenzied & losing patience"...and "trying to be nice & gentle"...

Could tell from the tone of her voice. I didn't even have to look at her. 

"Can you stop it??!!"

"After this you drink your water ok...." 

"How many times have I told you already?????!!!!!! NO MEANS NO!!!"

"Is the food alright? Not too hot right? If it's hot then you blow ok, I can blow for you too..."

....I feel you lady...Jiayou...! 你可以的！

We're mums, we're all parents, and....we're all schizos too...LOL

2 Jan

The start of Nadya's secondary school journey. 

K accompanied her by train to school and trudged up the hill with her to get to AHS. 

Peanut & I surprised her at the MRT station when she came home after school. I got her a cup of bubble tea from Chi Cha San Chen as a small motivation haha. Glad she was happy & surprised to see us there. And glad too that she had a good (though boring) 1st day at school. 

Happy that 5 other kids from the same primary school were in the same Sec 1 class as her. She knew 3 of them and 2 girls were actually from her P1 & P2 class! Small world! At least she doesn't have to start from scratch and already knows some kids in class. I hope this helps with the transition into secondary school. 

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I asked her the night before if she was nervous and was surprised to hear that she was actually excited about going into secondary school. :) Happy to hear this. 

May her secondary school journey be a smooth-going and happy one!

Paris & London

Family Trip! 4 Dec - 15 Dec 2025

This is my 4th time in Paris...2008, 2010, 2011 and 2025. 

80% of the stuff we did or the places we went to, I'd already experienced haha. It was more for the girls, especially Nadya, who's had more "exposure" to French stuff cos she uses some French words in her ballet learning journey. Alyssa found Paris mostly boring, Nadya could appreciate the history & culture more. 

• Going up the Eiffel Tower was a blast for the girls. They were so tickled by the strong winds. Alyssa got slightly blown off balance too haha. 
• Notre Dame Cathedral was boring for Alyssa but sort of interesting for Nadya who could better appreciate the architecture and history behind some things. 
• The trip up to see the Basilique du Sacre Coeur and have a great view of the city was a little challenging as it was raining (and hence cold & damp) but the girls had fun struggling with their umbrellas and the strong winds lol. Nadya's brolly flipped over so many times haha. We chose not to go in to the cathedral. 
• It was a brief walk at Champs Elysees, then a quick look at Arc du Triomphe. It was my first time walking beneath the Arc though. I'd never known that there were underground linkways there. We had a quick visit to Galaries Lafayette as well, my first time there, and yet another short visit to the Trocadero, specifically the Eiffel Tower Viewing Point. Seeing the tower at night from such a nice viewing point was a first for me and much enjoyable. Alyssa was grouchy throughout most of this night though lol...she was cold, and bored and could not appreciate these sights. 
• We went on a Bateaux Moches river cruise on the Seine as well. I found this boring though...Alyssa too haha. Nadya was counting the number of bridges we passed by so I guess she quite liked the cruise. 
• Fav meal in Paris = our lunch at an Italian restaurant near the Lourve. It's called Enza Famiglia. Pasta was superb. My gnocchi was so delicious!

This is my 2nd time in London. 2010 and 2025. 

Alyssa found this place more fun, possible also because we did more activities that she could understand or that she found interesting. 

• Christmas at Kew Gardens was a light installation event at Kew Gardens, fairly far from where we stayed at King's Cross. The trail took so long to walk through. I think it was definitely more than 1h30mins. It also rained a little at the start so it was quite cold. We were struggling to open and shut our umbrellas at some point as it drizzled heavily, then stopped, then started again zzz. The girls & I were knackered. My face was probably as grouchy as theirs lol. 
• The trip to Harry Potter Warner Brothers Studio was a highlight for me. I'm not a huge fan of the series but it was interesting for me. While the girls were interested, they weren't extremely excited as well lol. But I guess it was still nice enough for them. We got them wands from the gift shop (sibei ex). 
• We did a tour of the Paradox Museum too. This was fun too and the girls really liked this place. Something like the Trick Eye Museum Singapore has. 
• We had a brief walk through the 1st floor of Harrods, also shopped briefly at Soho district.
• Visited the Light Room near King's Cross for an immersive experience about dinosaurs. I like this one but it lasted just an hour or so....so I felt the tickets were not too value for money. 
• The Natural History Museum was so-so...Alyssa felt bored again lol though some of the fossil exhibits were interesting. 
• I initially planned to see the Changing of the Guards outside Buckingham Palace but switched to bringing the girls to the Changing of the Guards at the Horse Guards instead, just down the road from 10 Downing Street. Lesser crowds, easier for them to view and no need to go an hour earlier just to get good viewing spots. 
• Fav meal in London = there's a couple actually! Haha...one was dinner at Rex Cross, near King's Cross station. My grilled chicken was amazing. Even K agreed it was one of the best he's had. The pastas the rest ordered were excellent too! We had nice fish & chips at The Mayfair Chippy, opposite Harrods at Knightsbridge. Alyssa loved this place. And....we had very nice udon at Kineya Mugimaru at St Pancras International Station on our last day in London. The warm udon hit the right spot cos it was a cold day. We liked it so much we had breakfast, and then went back there for lunch on the same day lol.

Thankful for the family time... :)

Not so thankful for the day at Eiffel Tower when my Whatsapp was buzzing alot due to something that happened in office which affected my team lol...Still, am thankful my team could handle it pretty much without me.  

AHS

Jiejie got herself into Anglican High! 

It was quite a rush settling her textbooks (thanks to K for ordering them online the moment we got the confirmed school posting results lol), her new school shoes, and more importantly, her new uniforms. 

I hope her secondary school journey will be as fun as mine. I hope she finds herself a good bunch of friends like I did (thankfully). I hope she starts to 开窍 abit more and grows more disciplined in her studies. I hope it'll be a great, smooth 4 years ahead for her!! 

Wonder what they call AHS kids? Anglicanian? Anglicanite? AHS-ian?

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On Xmas Eve, we showed her how to take the bus & then walk to school.  It's a long walk to school 12/13minutes without her school bag. If she's having a school bag, my guess is it will take longer. Not too bad if it's just a gentle slope or flat ground....thing is, there's a gentle slop for most of the way and then the last 200-300m is a steep slope to the school's main gate. 

I was struggling that day and silently cursing in my head when traversing up the steep slope....I think after a month of walking to school each day, she'll be super fit. Jiayou Nadya!! lol...

Peanut Power

Little girl has done well over the past year. 

She finally worked her way into being a prefect, a goal she set herself since P2. At the end of P3, her form teacher put her name up and voila, she became one in P4 this year. 

She's done well in BICEP, her chinese special programme in school. 

She's now working on becoming a leader in her Brownies. Hopefully she gets the chance to be nominated. 

She did well enough in class to be allocated to one of the better classes in P5. She'll be in a mixed class with GEP kids. Hope her P6 class will provide her a good environment to be in. Her P4 class & some of her good friend in her P4 class were indeed positive influences on her. 

Onwards & upwards!

Nanny

Perpetually. 

Tiring. 

Nanny at home.
Have you done your homework? Have you packed your bag? Tomorrow's 行程 will be this followed by that so you have to plan your attire for this & then that. Did you wash your hands? Wash your feet. Brush your teeth. Brush your hair. Go bathe. Clear your clothes! Clear your desk! Clean your desk!

Nanny at work. 
Have you sent it out? Why not? Deadline coming, are you done? Why do I need to remind you? Have you processed? Not yet?? Why?? ST sent you instructions yesterday, till today no action done on your end, let me know why?

Kids I can understand....

Adults who cannot manage their own time or deadlines. I cannot accept. My patience...is sorely tested this year. 

PSLE Results today

Message from a friend "my daughter did not do well". 

And in the end...her daughter got 9M. 

Wah lau. That is a good lor. Single-pointer. Not as good as 4, 5, 6 but still a single-pointer nonetheless.

Then again, I should not be surprised. Such comments always come from her. 

It's always a "my son the Maths cannot make it, I teach till I vomit blood"...then the kid ends up in top 3 in his class. Or it's a "she is very jialat lah I dunno what to say"...and then in the end the daughter becomes a single pointer in PSLE. 

Oh well. 

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As I expected, saw some kids beaming in school today....and some others (boys & girls included) crying. 

Good results or less stellar ones...I hope each kid eventually finds his or her own path in this world. Run or plod, so long as they keep moving and stay on the right side of the road. May they be happy and healthy always.

三菜一汤

Long time din update on weight. 

Happily at 49/50kg since end last year or early this year. Just need to maintain this weight. :)  It's weird though, how some folks still say I am too thin. Hmm...nvm..I happy can liao. 

Think it's cos of the regular home-cooked meals over the last 10months since we shifted back to this place. The 三菜一汤 that I diligently plan for each week...comprising of veg + proteins + one soup at each meal...

Unfortunately, I find it hard to remove processed food fully from our meals, given how much we love our sausages, and me my luncheon meat.... ;p

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speaking of 三菜一汤....

I was racking my brains a few days ago and sought A's help. 

"aiyah I dunno what I want to eat lah, you plan." came the response.

zzzzzzzzzzzz......I made a face.

she followed up with a "aiyah do something simple. like sandwich making. just put the ingredients there and we can make sandwiches ourselves. We can choose whatever ingredients we want."

Hmm...interesting idea....let's see if I can make this happen one of these days....

Maybe discuss with K too. He has a larger appetite. I don't know how many pieces of bread or croissants he needs to have in order to fill his stomach LOL.....

Another 聊 session

In the midst of PSLE exams. Started on 25 Sep Thursday. Ending this Wednesday 1 Oct. 

I hope N is doing ok and not feeling too stressed out. 

She & I had a little talk last night. She could not sleep and asked if I was angry with her as I spoke gruffly to her before I turned off the lights in their bedroom. 

Explained to her that I was getting impatient and thus used a sterner tone with her as she was procrastinating alot and delaying bed time. It is a challenge getting her to brush her teeth & prep for bed. Once, twice, thrice. Multiple times of nagging. And even after she brushes her teeth, it takes ages again for her to get her bed ready. From placing the bolster in a certain way, to the blanket being laid out in a certain way, and the water bottle and watch and clock and her glasses being in certain spots on the shelf on her beadboard, etc. It tests my patience each night. 

Her response? "But it's not my fault."

Hard to talk to her sometimes. 

Hope to find a different way to get through.

Nevertheless, we ended the conversation in a good way with hugs & cuddles & some kisses....and she did not go to bed feeling bad. Glad that at least we 说开了 abit and she did not go to bed with 隔夜仇. 

Mother-Daughter Talk

Had a talk with N last night. A heartfelt one. Been a long long time since I had such a talk with her. 

And I felt strangely at peace while talking to her. I was not judgemental, I was not impatient, I was not trying hard to quell my own bad feelings.  

She spoke most of the time. About how annoyed she was with A, how her parents (yes she referred to her parents in 3rd person form even though I was there) were biased against her, how everyone loves the younger one but does not like the older one, etc. She talked about how A is good in class, is a teacher's pet, is a Brownie and is a prefect, how A seems better at most things, etc. How it is unfair that sometimes A annoys her and starts an argument but the one getting scolded in the end is not A but N, etc...She spoke on how she wanted to scold cuss words at home but could not, how she wanted to throw things or hit something but could not. 

I understood her 委屈, frustrations, anger and annoyance. I shared some anecdotes on how she could vent or let out her frustrations, etc. Also shared how she should not do anything to hurt or injure herself in the process.... 

Inwardly, I felt I could have done better as a parent...sigh...to minimise feelings of "comparisons", to be there for each of them in my own ways, etc...I will try...

Kpop Demon Hunters

The latest craze from which we are not spared.

Thanks to the kids. 

Their friends were talking about it, and singing songs from the movie. Their cousins were watching it and the girls watched too when we were at Adrian's place. 

I "took" a crash course some nights ago. I googled and watch some youtube videos. 

Need to do some homework lah, so I can speak their girls' lingo & understand what they're into. And so I now know some songs from the movie too...heh, and I know enough about some of the characters to carry on a decent enough conversation about the movie lol. 

Oh, parenting!

A day of many happenings...

Was in the midst of a talk on AI film-making when I got a text from K saying that A was at home cos she'd fallen in school during PE. Though her scratches and abrasions weren't too serious, her PE teacher still sent her back home. 

Got home after work and saw that her chin had a big bruise/abrasion. I hope it doesn't leave any scar. Her left knee had another big patch of scratches and a circular wound. The other knee had a smaller abrasion and the back of her left hand had another smaller abrasion. Hope none of these leave any scar. 

I need to get new gauze and surgical tape tomorrow....

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N had her vocational intermediate exams this morning! Hope she does well enough. Poor girl had to wake early to get her hair done by me cos I had to go to work today. Her exam was only at 9-plus but her hair was all done up at 715am lol. But I guess she was happy she got to skip school. ;p 

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K received 2 emails today, both informing that N has been shortlisted and would need to go for her DSA auditions within the next one week. :) Yay! Hope she gets through at least one of them! Fingers & toes crossed! Now to prep her for interview questions, self-introduction, etc...