Tummy

August hasn't been a good month for the stomach. Not sure what I can do now except to take smaller and more frequent meals. Sometimes hard to handle this too, especially if I'm in the office. 

Chewing alot more now also as I'm having some difficulty swallowing when I eat too fast or take bigger mouthfuls. I'm taking long to eat a meal and it stresses me when my colleagues finish eating and I'm not done yet. 

Wondering if I should get the helper to start making lunches for me to dabao to office again. A little anti-social but....nvm...see how first...

Praying for a healthier gut, and a more stable tummy....

not happy?

The older I get, the more I find myself rejecting ideas and new things. 

The more I feel pressured at times to do certain things.  

The more I feel myself withdrawing. 

The more I just want to hide. 

The more I just want to be in my own corner. 

Maybe I should be a part of the Sumikko Gurashi. 

12 Aug 2022 - Snip snip time

Finally made time and went to cut my hair after 11 months. 

Chopped off maybe 5 or 6 inches? I also don't really know. 

But hair length went from boobies to now sitting above my shoulders and at least an inch above my collarbone. 

One of the shortest hair length I've ever had in the last 20years. 

Took some getting used to and I'm liking it more now. :) 

Been cutting my hair with Sandy since 2008. Followed her from her salon near my parents' place till today at her own home when she switched to being home-based. Just realised she's been around since I changed to a new job, got cheated on, got attached again, got married, shifted out, had 2 babies, etc...Though I see her only once or twice a year...still, it's been a long time! 14 years and counting...

Reminder to Self

To listen more and understand.

To not interject or interrupt when others are talking. 

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To be less selfish and self-centered. 

To not take people for granted. 

To be more self-aware if and when I am becoming so.

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To keep going. 

To keep walking. 

To keep trying. 

Highs & lows and all the in-betweens

Experienced all sorts of emotions in a week. 

• Last weekend all the way through till Monday afternoon was somewhat nerve-racking. Was trying to memorise and familiarise myself with the key points in a narrative, which had to be covered in a media interview I was arrowed to do on Monday afternoon with 2 key media papers in Singapore. I was thankful there was a more senior and experienced guy with me on Monday afternoon during the media interview and he helped fill in some gaps when I fell short. The whole experience probably brought me several more white hairs but I guess I took it up because (1) I didn't want to run away  (although at times I regretted my decision much), and (2) When would I ever get such an experience again?
• Mum went to the A&E on Tuesday, was warded and only discharged on Friday afternoon. I couldn't go visit her as I was not one of the 2 registered visitors on the list. My Dad and brother were. Anyway, just glad there's nothing very major. At the moment, it seems like it's a stomach inflammation which triggered her acid reflux and brought much discomfort to her oesophagus. There's no obvious narrowing of her oesophagus and I hope the medication given will ease and solve what pain and discomfort she's having. 
• Monday & Tuesday morning were HBL days for both girls. Took up quite alot from my patience bucket lol. Had to "run" back and forth between 2 laptops. They didn't spare me too when I was taking a dump. Nadya came by and knocked on the toilet door while shouting outside "Mama!! I need help!!!" zzzz...I replied "Can you at least wait till I'm done? I can't help you when I'm sitting on the throne!" Was on leave both afternoons but I still had to on and off clear work. 
• Wednesday & Thursday was very hectic work wise. Flooded with things and I ended up working from 830am till 1130pm on both days, with maybe a combined 3 to 4hr break in between for lunch, dinner, a little time with the girls, showers, a short walk, etc. Tiring, stressful and frustrating at times for hitting brickwalls. But still thankful for having a boss and colleagues who are "chiong-ing" alongside me. Thankful too that K came back early each day from reservist and he could go fetch the girls home.
• Friday was a full day of calls. I was thankful that all went pretty smoothly. Had an emotional talk with K at night and ended up tearing. 

Highs and lows and all the in-betweens. 

Keep going....keep going...一步一步走...

Breathe.

Breathe. And keep going. 

You can do this.  

Keep Going

A colleague has decided to retire early. Between me & the other Head who is dealing with Tech issues, of course laoniang will end up bearing the most brunt of covering her duties till a replacement comes in. 

Not looking forward to it when she leaves officially at the end of September. Not the first time she's thrown her letter too and I've always been the one to be on standby to receive her handovers. Each time in the past though, she rescinded her letters. 

Seems this time it's for real as emails have been sent to the big big boss and HR as well. 

Am a little overwhelmed. 

Current duties + double-hatting for another function since Mar and probably till early next year + covering duties for this lady. 

I hope I can handle things. 

I need to. Keep going. 

Breathe. Keep going. 

Breathe. Keep going. 

Breathe. Keep going. 

Tummy

This week hasn't been too good physically. Tummy's acid issues are back. 

Nausea, bloatedness, indigestion, lethargy & tiredness, slight giddiness at times, feeling full even after eating less than usual, tight stomach, etc. Slight chest pains these last 2 days. 

I hope this clears up soon. 

In just a few days, I lost maybe 1kg already. 

I hope it clears up quickly and I can eat normally again....