Remember the fried phone?
That big data recovery company couldn't do anything about it. They couldn't run a current through the motherboard as well and it is a big and sad SAYONARA to all my photos and videos.
I've come to terms with it. Somewhat.
I was pretty upset last Friday when the news came in.
But oh well...moving on.....
And I guess...the dinosaur me....should start learning how to use icloud, google photos, dropbox??
Sigh.......
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Things that I'm thankful for today
- Lovely, helpful colleagues who have become close friends and confidantes.
- Understanding, flexible and open-minded boss.
- K
- The girls
- Close friends
- That I can still eat some food and that I don't actually throw up
- Having a helper who can help prepare my "tingkat" meals and get the chores done
Weight
Weighed in at 48.1kg this morning.
Stomach acted up yesterday and I couldn't take in much. Just one day of eating less and I lost 700-800 grams i.e. almost a kg?
Hope I can eat better today...
Stomach acted up yesterday and I couldn't take in much. Just one day of eating less and I lost 700-800 grams i.e. almost a kg?
Hope I can eat better today...
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
The Girls
The girls get on my nerves sometimes. They test my patience and limits sometimes.
I nag and nag. I lose my patience and shout at them sometimes.
I feel tired most of the time.
But when I see their smiles. When I see their faces when they're sleeping.
When I get hugs and kisses from them. When they tell me "Mama I love you!"
When they draw or make things for me.......
I feel happy and blessed and I think it's all worth it.
I nag and nag. I lose my patience and shout at them sometimes.
I feel tired most of the time.
But when I see their smiles. When I see their faces when they're sleeping.
When I get hugs and kisses from them. When they tell me "Mama I love you!"
When they draw or make things for me.......
I feel happy and blessed and I think it's all worth it.
Monday, February 25, 2019
Weight
Weight seems to have stabilised a little. It's been at 48.8 or 49kg for the past week...which is good. The sudden drop the other time kinda scared me somewhat.
And so....
It's really happening.
K has submitted the withdrawal notice to the current childcare centre and paid the deposit for the new place.
We're pulling Nadya out as her class only has 3 people left including her. All her best girl buddies are going or already gone. One of the other 2 boys is also considering leaving so...eventually in the next few weeks maybe there'll only be one last boy left...
I'm sentimental. I really wanted Nadya to finish her pre-primary journey at this centre...afterall, she's been there since she was 4.5months old....from infant care till now in K2. She's the kid who has been there the longest. I'm kinda sad that we couldn't let her complete her K2 studies there...
*sniff*
That said, Alyssa still remains at the current centre...I hope she won't get too upset that Jiejie will no longer be at the same school...but she needs to get used to it anyway, especially when Nadya goes into P1 next year.
Fingers crossed that Nadya will adapt well to the new place...and that she will learn newer stuff while there. I hope she doesn't protest too much when we tell her about the change...
K has submitted the withdrawal notice to the current childcare centre and paid the deposit for the new place.
We're pulling Nadya out as her class only has 3 people left including her. All her best girl buddies are going or already gone. One of the other 2 boys is also considering leaving so...eventually in the next few weeks maybe there'll only be one last boy left...
I'm sentimental. I really wanted Nadya to finish her pre-primary journey at this centre...afterall, she's been there since she was 4.5months old....from infant care till now in K2. She's the kid who has been there the longest. I'm kinda sad that we couldn't let her complete her K2 studies there...
*sniff*
That said, Alyssa still remains at the current centre...I hope she won't get too upset that Jiejie will no longer be at the same school...but she needs to get used to it anyway, especially when Nadya goes into P1 next year.
Fingers crossed that Nadya will adapt well to the new place...and that she will learn newer stuff while there. I hope she doesn't protest too much when we tell her about the change...
Quotes
“So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow”
"Little by little, day by day, what is mean for you WILL find its way”
“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging your back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming”
“A great attitude becomes a great today which becomes a great week which becomes a great month which becomes a great year which becomes a great life”
“The sun is a daily reminder that we too can rise again from the darkness, that we too can shine our own light” - S. Anja
"Little by little, day by day, what is mean for you WILL find its way”
“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging your back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming”
“A great attitude becomes a great today which becomes a great week which becomes a great month which becomes a great year which becomes a great life”
“The sun is a daily reminder that we too can rise again from the darkness, that we too can shine our own light” - S. Anja
Parenting
As a parent, sometimes I find myself second-guessing our decisions for the kids.
Are we doing this right? Isn't there a better way? Do we need to do this? Should we do this?
I guess we all want the best for our kids. And sometimes it may slip our minds that kids are more adaptable and resilient than they seem.
And ultimately, we also just have to trust that things will work out, whatever decision(s) we take. If it doesn't work out as beautifully as expected, then we need to tweak our approach again. Bopian.
Reminder to self: Have faith. Have trust in the girls too.
Are we doing this right? Isn't there a better way? Do we need to do this? Should we do this?
I guess we all want the best for our kids. And sometimes it may slip our minds that kids are more adaptable and resilient than they seem.
And ultimately, we also just have to trust that things will work out, whatever decision(s) we take. If it doesn't work out as beautifully as expected, then we need to tweak our approach again. Bopian.
Reminder to self: Have faith. Have trust in the girls too.
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Stuff
- Need to talk to the helper soon. Extending her contract...so see if she's amenable to it...
- Mum...has...shingles....:( and she has been put on a strong dose of antibiotics. 800mg 5 times a day for a week. Piangz...Hope she recovers soon. She has disallowed us to pop by this weekend as the doctor said it's especially contagious to other elderly and young kids.....
- Good buddy Ed texted me this morning to say he has it too. Why so qiao??!! And he's also on the same medication as my mum. Maybe it's standard SOP for the docs these days?
- Need to see if we will or will not switch Nadya/Alyssa to another childcare...the current school is pretty messy in terms of management and staff turnover. While Alyssa's teacher is quite good and stable, Nadya's K2 class has become a laughingstock of sorts. From 10-over kids last year....by the end of Mar, I think it will only be 4 pupils. That's quite demoralising and pathetic... Many have left due to the messy management, while others had valid reasons.
- Hoping to hear from the data recovery company on how the data extraction from the fried phone is coming along...it's been almost a week...
Self Tingkat
Brought homecooked lunch to office these 2 days. Realised my helper can sometimes be quite heavy-handed on the salt.
It's only a one dish thingy and rice for these 2 days. Simple stuff that I could gather from whatever's currently at home.
I'd take 80% to 90% of it for lunch and then have the other 10-15% for tea-break. This arrangement worked yesterday...but didn't quite work today. Not sure why...the tummy isn't cooperating very well today.
It's abit leychey though...to carry the food to office. I am using my old cooler bag which I used to ferry my breastmilk to and from office when Alyssa was still a few months old. Wah...that was....3 to 3.5yrs ago already...time flies...
Anyway, will be exploring other things like:
- Other convenient recipes including noodles and soups, and porridge
- Thermal food jars
- Glass containers which heats up better in the microwave
- What foods to buy
- Coming up with a week's worth of menu....and beyond that too....
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Alyssa
So I was proud of her for she managed to wake up when she needed to pee for the last 2 days. There is a certain pattern and she would wake around 1030 to 11pm.
We would then put on a diaper for her because after that....she usually can't wake up to pee anymore and would just pee on the bed.
Jiayou to the next few weeks...and months?
My washing machine is super overworked this past week ever since she insisted on not wearing diapers to bed....
We would then put on a diaper for her because after that....she usually can't wake up to pee anymore and would just pee on the bed.
Jiayou to the next few weeks...and months?
My washing machine is super overworked this past week ever since she insisted on not wearing diapers to bed....
confusion
So the ENT doctor said I seem to be having acid reflux. He put me on omeprazole on a longer term basis (3 months) to quell acid production in the stomach.
The gastro doc diagnosed me differently and also didn't seem to agree that much with the ENT doc's use of the medication. Said that the medication was once thought to be extremely safe in the beginning when it was launched but has since proven to bring various side effects, including bone loss. He didn't elaborate but shared that he didn't like the idea of people taking it for weeks or months. I told him my mum was on it for a couple of years...(maybe that's why her bones are brittle and she needs to be on calcium pills to build up her bones).
So gastro doc doesn't fully agree with me taking the omeprazole medication. To take or not to take? He said if it brings me relief, then i take lor....he sounded so forced...oh well...guess I'll still take it but at a lower dosage of what the ENT doc prescribed.
Gastro doc also told us that most gastro doctors have a certain disdain for ENT doctors. Lol....Whatever internal feud you guys have, please keep me out of it ya. I just want to find out what exactly is happening to me and what condition I have and what can be done about it.
Fingers crossed that the scope next week will bring some answers.
The gastro doc diagnosed me differently and also didn't seem to agree that much with the ENT doc's use of the medication. Said that the medication was once thought to be extremely safe in the beginning when it was launched but has since proven to bring various side effects, including bone loss. He didn't elaborate but shared that he didn't like the idea of people taking it for weeks or months. I told him my mum was on it for a couple of years...(maybe that's why her bones are brittle and she needs to be on calcium pills to build up her bones).
So gastro doc doesn't fully agree with me taking the omeprazole medication. To take or not to take? He said if it brings me relief, then i take lor....he sounded so forced...oh well...guess I'll still take it but at a lower dosage of what the ENT doc prescribed.
Gastro doc also told us that most gastro doctors have a certain disdain for ENT doctors. Lol....Whatever internal feud you guys have, please keep me out of it ya. I just want to find out what exactly is happening to me and what condition I have and what can be done about it.
Fingers crossed that the scope next week will bring some answers.
Gastro Specialist Visit
Went to the gastroenterology specialist clinic yesterday afternoon. Doc told me he was quite sure I'm having "functional dyspepsia". In layman terms, it's something like Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but without the bowel symptoms. I googled the term and it said it was chronic indigestion.
The doctor didn't think it was entirely necessary but said I could go for an endoscopy (aka stomach scope) for a peace of mind. I chose to do it and the scope has been scheduled for next Thursday for a more thorough look at the oesophagus and the stomach and also to determine if there's the Helicobacter Pylori bacteria in there.
Will be going for an ultrasound in early April to check my pancreas as well since he said some of my symptoms may have something to do with the pancreas.
My BP was quite low when I first got to the clinic so he ordered a blood test for me to check on my cortisol levels...not sure what it exactly entails but he'll explain further I guess when I next see him.
BP was 101/35 when I reached the clinic around 250pm. Good thing was that 15-20mins later it was a perfectly good reading at 112/71.
Part of me hopes they don't find anything in the scope. Part of me hopes they find something, because at least it can provide an answer to a portion of what is happening to me. I've been going around in circles because no one, for now, can firmly say what I am suffering from.
I'll be having a doc visit every week from now till April...Abit shiong on the pockets but no choice I guess. Trying to keep my spirits up. At least I'm taking steps to find out what's wrong...rather than just trying to tahan. My tummy issues have been present since a year back, just that these 3 weeks they have been even worse. I think I tahan long enough already?...
The doctor didn't think it was entirely necessary but said I could go for an endoscopy (aka stomach scope) for a peace of mind. I chose to do it and the scope has been scheduled for next Thursday for a more thorough look at the oesophagus and the stomach and also to determine if there's the Helicobacter Pylori bacteria in there.
Will be going for an ultrasound in early April to check my pancreas as well since he said some of my symptoms may have something to do with the pancreas.
My BP was quite low when I first got to the clinic so he ordered a blood test for me to check on my cortisol levels...not sure what it exactly entails but he'll explain further I guess when I next see him.
BP was 101/35 when I reached the clinic around 250pm. Good thing was that 15-20mins later it was a perfectly good reading at 112/71.
Part of me hopes they don't find anything in the scope. Part of me hopes they find something, because at least it can provide an answer to a portion of what is happening to me. I've been going around in circles because no one, for now, can firmly say what I am suffering from.
I'll be having a doc visit every week from now till April...Abit shiong on the pockets but no choice I guess. Trying to keep my spirits up. At least I'm taking steps to find out what's wrong...rather than just trying to tahan. My tummy issues have been present since a year back, just that these 3 weeks they have been even worse. I think I tahan long enough already?...
Friday, February 15, 2019
Eat grass
Ok, tighten purse strings. Gonna spend $642 on data recovery.....
Fingers crossed that they can do something about it....
Thank you baby for running around helping me to solve this issue...muacks muacks
Fingers crossed that they can do something about it....
Thank you baby for running around helping me to solve this issue...muacks muacks
Training Time
Alyssa did well last night I think. She was again quite resolute and determined not to wear diapers when she went to bed. I didn't get that much determination from Nadya last time. :)
So Alyssa managed to wake at 11-plus or 12am last night to pee. She was then dry through out.....
But there was still an accident at 6-plus this morning. K had left their room by then and I think she was too zonked out to wake up to pee...
Nadya was the one who told me Alyssa had peed on the bed...I asked her how she knew and she said she touched the towel and it was wet. Lol..Bless this big girl. She's being more and more proactive these days to help look after Alyssa...
So Alyssa managed to wake at 11-plus or 12am last night to pee. She was then dry through out.....
But there was still an accident at 6-plus this morning. K had left their room by then and I think she was too zonked out to wake up to pee...
Nadya was the one who told me Alyssa had peed on the bed...I asked her how she knew and she said she touched the towel and it was wet. Lol..Bless this big girl. She's being more and more proactive these days to help look after Alyssa...
dunno whether to laugh or cry
I'm a dinosaur maybe. I'm not too tech savvy. (an irony considering the place I'm working at)
And I'm lazy. The phone was not backed up for a long time...many months....
Which brings me to a problem now. Getting an authorised vendor to do data recovery from the fried phone will set me back by $642. !@$#$%@@$%$^%
K is exploring other vendors and I hope they can do something just as well but for a better price...
My photos and videos of the girls....of the Osaka trip...of their outings....
My notes...my personal notes detailing stuff I wanted to tell my doctors during my upcoming consultations with them, my weekend meal plans for the family, my Korean vocabulary list, my medical checkups list....
Sigh....
And I'm lazy. The phone was not backed up for a long time...many months....
Which brings me to a problem now. Getting an authorised vendor to do data recovery from the fried phone will set me back by $642. !@$#$%@@$%$^%
K is exploring other vendors and I hope they can do something just as well but for a better price...
My photos and videos of the girls....of the Osaka trip...of their outings....
My notes...my personal notes detailing stuff I wanted to tell my doctors during my upcoming consultations with them, my weekend meal plans for the family, my Korean vocabulary list, my medical checkups list....
Sigh....
Thursday, February 14, 2019
To Ti Gong
够了hor, 前四个星期平均每一个星期都有一两件事情发生...
Tolong lah...go easy ok.....please please please? :)
17/18 Jan - tummy issues
22 Jan - eye laser + vasovagal attack + AnE
24 Jan - eye clinic visit
30 Jan - throat issue + AnE + ENT + Nasal Scope + Acid Reflux
31 Jan - giddiness and nausea in office + blood test for thyroid
1 Feb - giddiness and nausea in office
4 Feb - fainting spell in office
6 Feb - fainting spell in restaurant
7 Feb - poly visit for thyroid test review
11 Feb - saw GP again for tummy issues
13 Feb - phone conked off!!!
Tolong lah...go easy ok.....please please please? :)
17/18 Jan - tummy issues
22 Jan - eye laser + vasovagal attack + AnE
24 Jan - eye clinic visit
30 Jan - throat issue + AnE + ENT + Nasal Scope + Acid Reflux
31 Jan - giddiness and nausea in office + blood test for thyroid
1 Feb - giddiness and nausea in office
4 Feb - fainting spell in office
6 Feb - fainting spell in restaurant
7 Feb - poly visit for thyroid test review
11 Feb - saw GP again for tummy issues
13 Feb - phone conked off!!!
Fried Phone
Laoniang's phone conked off last night. While I was viewing a PDF file sent by Nadya's form teacher.
K and I tried everything. Till this morning we were still trying.
We finally brought it to the service centre during lunch today. The lady did a connectivity test of some sort....and we were told that the motherboard was fried.
????!!!!!
Nabeh.
The phone's only 1yr 2mths old. I am barely over half the mark for my M1 mobile contract. And I am just past the deadline for the phone guarantee. FML.
Recontracting now will cost me an extra $350 early re-contract fee. >:(
I'm worried about the data in the phone...K is trying to get someone to recover the data. And we're wondering how to move forward....I'm using my old Iphone 6 but that's abit wonky too...the battery drains pretty fast....
Today's the what? CNY Chu10....sigh.....
K and I tried everything. Till this morning we were still trying.
We finally brought it to the service centre during lunch today. The lady did a connectivity test of some sort....and we were told that the motherboard was fried.
????!!!!!
Nabeh.
The phone's only 1yr 2mths old. I am barely over half the mark for my M1 mobile contract. And I am just past the deadline for the phone guarantee. FML.
Recontracting now will cost me an extra $350 early re-contract fee. >:(
I'm worried about the data in the phone...K is trying to get someone to recover the data. And we're wondering how to move forward....I'm using my old Iphone 6 but that's abit wonky too...the battery drains pretty fast....
Today's the what? CNY Chu10....sigh.....
Weight
And so...laoniang is now at 48.8kg.
Down again from the 49.7 that I was consistently at over the last couple of days...and down from the 51.5kg that I was at maybe 3-4 weeks ago....
That's more or less the weight that I was at pre-Alyssa...I shed in 2-3 weeks what I couldn't shed over 3 years....hmm...
Down again from the 49.7 that I was consistently at over the last couple of days...and down from the 51.5kg that I was at maybe 3-4 weeks ago....
That's more or less the weight that I was at pre-Alyssa...I shed in 2-3 weeks what I couldn't shed over 3 years....hmm...
Reflux
Acid reflux acted up quite strongly last night.
Not sure if it was the food I ate last night though I think unlikely. I had tang oh vegetable with fishballs, some soya sauce chicken with tau kwa, a braised egg and some other veg. Light enough and not spicy or sour or oily. Plus watermelons.
K said it could be the amount I ate. Mum said it could be because I didn't chew the food into emall enough pieces.
Whatever the reason, throat started feeling constricted last night again. Top of the stomach was quite uncomfortable and when I woke this morning, I had some loose stools. After 12hours, my throat still feels a little constricted and when I had breakfast earlier on, some slight chest pains when the food went down...
Bah...acid ah acid...don't disturb me can?
Very xinku leh...can't eat so many things...
Not sure if it was the food I ate last night though I think unlikely. I had tang oh vegetable with fishballs, some soya sauce chicken with tau kwa, a braised egg and some other veg. Light enough and not spicy or sour or oily. Plus watermelons.
K said it could be the amount I ate. Mum said it could be because I didn't chew the food into emall enough pieces.
Whatever the reason, throat started feeling constricted last night again. Top of the stomach was quite uncomfortable and when I woke this morning, I had some loose stools. After 12hours, my throat still feels a little constricted and when I had breakfast earlier on, some slight chest pains when the food went down...
Bah...acid ah acid...don't disturb me can?
Very xinku leh...can't eat so many things...
Another milestone
Alyssa drew an owl last night...She got the shape absolutely correct.
She even drew a pair of eyes that were quite accurate. One big circle with a smaller circle inside for the pupil....
She even drew a triangular beak...She also tried to draw feet and talons!
And she can write capital A, O, V, E and L quite well now...
So proud of her lah!
What to do...we're her biggest fans! (I'm her biggest fan!)
She even drew a pair of eyes that were quite accurate. One big circle with a smaller circle inside for the pupil....
She even drew a triangular beak...She also tried to draw feet and talons!
And she can write capital A, O, V, E and L quite well now...
So proud of her lah!
What to do...we're her biggest fans! (I'm her biggest fan!)
Milestone
...of sorts...
Alyssa self-declared that she wanted to go diaper-free for last night's sleep. I checked with her a few times and she was resolute in her decision. Steady lah. Let's go for it!
Before sleeping, I reminded her that if she needed to pee, she had to wake and let us know.
11pm..Nadya woke to pee and fussed a little. The noise stirred Alyssa up a little so I took the oportunity to ask her if she wanted/needed to pee. She said no and went back to sleep.
12am. I somehow woke and felt a little uneasy haha. I went over to check on her and voila...her underpants and bedsheet were all wet. She was still sleeping like a log. Lol, even when I was wiping her down and using towels to soak up her pee and throwing towels on her bed...I put on a pair of diapers for her and she continued sleeping peacefully....
Still, it was a valiant effort on her part! Let's see what she says tonight. :)
Now even the littlest one is growing up slowly but surely...where did all the time go? Slow down girls.....;(
Alyssa self-declared that she wanted to go diaper-free for last night's sleep. I checked with her a few times and she was resolute in her decision. Steady lah. Let's go for it!
Before sleeping, I reminded her that if she needed to pee, she had to wake and let us know.
11pm..Nadya woke to pee and fussed a little. The noise stirred Alyssa up a little so I took the oportunity to ask her if she wanted/needed to pee. She said no and went back to sleep.
12am. I somehow woke and felt a little uneasy haha. I went over to check on her and voila...her underpants and bedsheet were all wet. She was still sleeping like a log. Lol, even when I was wiping her down and using towels to soak up her pee and throwing towels on her bed...I put on a pair of diapers for her and she continued sleeping peacefully....
Still, it was a valiant effort on her part! Let's see what she says tonight. :)
Now even the littlest one is growing up slowly but surely...where did all the time go? Slow down girls.....;(
Monday, February 11, 2019
Nausea, lightheadedness/giddiness.
Fainting spell in office on 4 Feb around 12-plus. K had to come pick me.
CNY Days 1 and 2 - I was just trying to keep it together when we went from house to house. Felt tired, light-headed and sometimes breathless. Nausea was on and off. Luckily there were only 3 houses in the day and 1 in the evening on Day 1. Skipped mum's house on Day 2 morning and only popped by my inlaws' place. Had a fainting spell on Day 2 evening when we went out for dinner. Walked from the carpark to the restaurant and I felt faint and was panting. Low sugar? Sigh..I dunno.
Days 3 and 4 were spent at home. Was on MC and on leave.
Weekend was uneventful though I wasn't feeling well still. Nausea and light-headedness came in dribs and drabs.
Monday - CNY Day 7 - aka everyone's birthday.... I was a little tired but otherwise ok in the morning. But by the time I reached office, I felt a little off. Thought it was because I didn't have anything to eat yet so I had some breakfast. The feeling didn't go away and the nausea came back. I felt like retching and slowly shuffled to the toilet. Don't think anyone would be happy if I really ended up throwing up in the office itself. Retched a couple of times in the toilet but nothing came out. Lightheadedness was still there and heart was beating faster due to the retching. Decided to go see a doc. (again).
I hope whatever is causing this goes away soon.
CNY Days 1 and 2 - I was just trying to keep it together when we went from house to house. Felt tired, light-headed and sometimes breathless. Nausea was on and off. Luckily there were only 3 houses in the day and 1 in the evening on Day 1. Skipped mum's house on Day 2 morning and only popped by my inlaws' place. Had a fainting spell on Day 2 evening when we went out for dinner. Walked from the carpark to the restaurant and I felt faint and was panting. Low sugar? Sigh..I dunno.
Days 3 and 4 were spent at home. Was on MC and on leave.
Weekend was uneventful though I wasn't feeling well still. Nausea and light-headedness came in dribs and drabs.
Monday - CNY Day 7 - aka everyone's birthday.... I was a little tired but otherwise ok in the morning. But by the time I reached office, I felt a little off. Thought it was because I didn't have anything to eat yet so I had some breakfast. The feeling didn't go away and the nausea came back. I felt like retching and slowly shuffled to the toilet. Don't think anyone would be happy if I really ended up throwing up in the office itself. Retched a couple of times in the toilet but nothing came out. Lightheadedness was still there and heart was beating faster due to the retching. Decided to go see a doc. (again).
I hope whatever is causing this goes away soon.
Monday, February 04, 2019
Animals
We talked about more animals in the last few days:
- Rabbits (specifically giant Flemish rabbits and dwarf rabbits)
- Vultures
- Bears (brown, black, grizzly, sun)
- Chicks
- Anteaters
- Boa Constrictors (Nadya requested for this)
- Hippos
- Guinea pigs
- Pigs
- Squirrels
- Budgerigars
- Monkeys (specifically macaques and gorillas)
Nadya, being older, seems to understand more of all the snippets of information about each animal that I try to share with them. Alyssa is content with looking at pictures of the animals and sometimes trying to share her 2 cents' worth. :)
It's a whole lot of information sometimes but I hope they do learn and remember some of it...
Well, I know they do remember that flamingo babies are not born pink. :)
Acid Acid Go Away....
The acid reflux choot alot of power today.
Even after medication, I still couldn't eat much for breakfast and that "lump in the throat" feeling (aka globus sensation) is quite strong. Constantly feeling like there's something stuck in the throat.
Only managed 1/3 or half an egg sandwich and then I felt maxed out. Tummy felt so stuffed and throat felt like it couldn't take in anything more.
Was it due to me waking up 4-5 times last night cos of the girls?
Fighting!
Weight this morning: 49.5kg....
Even after medication, I still couldn't eat much for breakfast and that "lump in the throat" feeling (aka globus sensation) is quite strong. Constantly feeling like there's something stuck in the throat.
Only managed 1/3 or half an egg sandwich and then I felt maxed out. Tummy felt so stuffed and throat felt like it couldn't take in anything more.
Was it due to me waking up 4-5 times last night cos of the girls?
Fighting!
Weight this morning: 49.5kg....
Friday, February 01, 2019
Weight
Weighed myself this morning. I was sub-50kg. 49.8kg to be exact.
Not eating well and not eating much for 2-3 days made me lose 1-1.3kg.
Part of me is happy that I lost weight. Part of me is not so happy that I lost weight cos of health issues...But oh well, hope I can fit better into some of my old dresses now.....
Not eating well and not eating much for 2-3 days made me lose 1-1.3kg.
Part of me is happy that I lost weight. Part of me is not so happy that I lost weight cos of health issues...But oh well, hope I can fit better into some of my old dresses now.....
Hwaiting
There are good days
There are bad days
Some days I do better
Some days I do worse
Then I wonder if I am losing my shit
The trembling
The nervousness
The unease or panic or terror that sometimes comes
The tightness in chest
The deep breathing needed
The urge to cry
The self-talk
The pep talks
The meditation music
The need to be stronger
The expectation to be stronger
The want to be stronger
Avoiding
Hiding
Cowering
The acid reflux
The stomach issues
The eyes
The heart
The brain
The mind
The worry of being a burden
The worry of bringing down others
The worry of ....
Don't dwell
Don't be afraid
Don't worry
Be happy
Be open
Be optimistic
Try
I'm trying
Try again
I'm trying
Try harder
I'm trying
Alone
But not alone
Alienated
But not alienated
Weak smiles
Forced laughter
Nervous laughter
Face your fears
Perservere
Hang in there
Fight on
Exercise
Waiting
Hwaiting
This too shall pass?
Losing weight
Losing appetite
Can't eat well
Hwaiting
Waiting
All these too shall pass?
The night is darkest before dawn comes?
May the sun shine
May the rainbow appear
May the birds chirp
Hwaiting
There are bad days
Some days I do better
Some days I do worse
Then I wonder if I am losing my shit
The trembling
The nervousness
The unease or panic or terror that sometimes comes
The tightness in chest
The deep breathing needed
The urge to cry
The self-talk
The pep talks
The meditation music
The need to be stronger
The expectation to be stronger
The want to be stronger
Avoiding
Hiding
Cowering
The acid reflux
The stomach issues
The eyes
The heart
The brain
The mind
The worry of being a burden
The worry of bringing down others
The worry of ....
Don't dwell
Don't be afraid
Don't worry
Be happy
Be open
Be optimistic
Try
I'm trying
Try again
I'm trying
Try harder
I'm trying
Alone
But not alone
Alienated
But not alienated
Weak smiles
Forced laughter
Nervous laughter
Face your fears
Perservere
Hang in there
Fight on
Exercise
Waiting
Hwaiting
This too shall pass?
Losing weight
Losing appetite
Can't eat well
Hwaiting
Waiting
All these too shall pass?
The night is darkest before dawn comes?
May the sun shine
May the rainbow appear
May the birds chirp
Hwaiting
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