Dongdongdongchiang

It's Little Baby's first CNY. I hope she enjoyed seeing new places and hearing different sounds. She was out almost the entire day and got quite cranky by 8pm.

芯乐，新年快乐！妈妈祝你快搞长大，天天开心，生体健康，事事顺心，梦想成真！

The Dance

"Might I have this dance young lady?" I asked.

I gave her my finger and she held onto it tightly.

I held her close and she laid her head on my shoulder. 

And we danced. I twirled her around the room. 

Jazz played in the background on the radio.

When the jazz hour ended I sang and hummed more songs.

And still we danced. I felt happy and free. 

I was laughing. 

She was more subdued but she gurgled and played along and indulged in my excesses.

And we danced. For a good 15-20minutes. 

Just me and her. 

Thank you Little Baby. For dancing with Mummy. 

You gave Mummy the best 20mins ever. :) 

P/s: and then she lost her patience and started bawling.

Granny

She's having skin infection as well, on top of her chest infection. Now they've quarantined her to a single bedder room so that she doesn't pass whatever she has to other patients. 

They have also put her back on the drip. And are plying her with anti-epilepsy pills to control her fits. 

I won't be able to visit her anymore. Can't risk bringing any weird infectious thing back to the little girl. 

Relying on updates from my Dad and Aunt. 

Stay strong Granny. 

Scary dream

Had a bad dream last night. Again. 

But last night's was pretty scary. 

I don't remember much except that it had creepy crawlies and roaches and had some supernatural ring to it. I so remember seeing a green-colored satchel with blood stains being on he ground. It was a crime scene or something like that. 

Ugh. Already not having enough sleep and now whatever little sleep I get is plagued by weird ass dreams. 

Zzzzz.....

Stomach spoil again

I always seem to get a weird tummy just before, during or just after a festive occasion. 

The last time it happened was on 1 Jan New Year's Day. 

Had slight diarrhoea on Sat night, had a really queasy tummy on Sunday, and had slight diarrhoea again today. 

Argh. Popping pills from the doc. 

May I recover by the time CNY comes! I still want my bak kwa, pineapple tarts and heh bee hiam rolls.

Stay strong Michelle. 

Little Baby

The poor little girl had two jabs this morning. Part of a whole series of vaccinations she would have in her early years.

She is starting to warm up. I think she'll develop a fever in the middle of the night or by tomorrow morning. 

Stay strong little one. 

Granny

Apparently the previous strokes Granny had left scars on her brain. And these scars in turn have caused parts of her brain to not work as well as before. Probably that's why she can't really recognise us anymore. 

And these same scars caused her to have epileptic fits this afternoon. She was actually supposed to be discharged tomorrow but now, with the occurrence of these episodes of fits, we are not sure how long more she needs to be warded. Sigh. The docs are sending her for an MRI scan to determine how else to treat her. 

Keeping our fingers crossed. Sigh.

Stay strong Granny.

Granny

Gran is in hospital again. Chest infection and urinary tract infection. Double whammy this time round. 

Once again the hospital staff had to restrain her and tie her hands to the sides of the bed to prevent her from scratching herself and from pulling out the drip plug on her left hand. 

She's old and frail but she's still a feisty one when she wants to. 

I hope she gets well before CNY arrives. She'll be 98 when 7 Feb comes around. God, please protect her. 

Conversations

I realized there's a lot of monologues and 自问自答 situations when talking to a baby who can't yet speak. Hahahah.

You won't feel it that much when you're the one doing the talking but when you watch and hear another person doing it, it's always pretty amusing. Hahah...

K: (holding a book) This is a ruler. 

LB: (stares)

K: What goes with a ruler? 

LB: (stares)

K: A pencil! Yes! A pencil! This is a pencil. 

LB: (stares) 

Zzz

Not been sleeping well the last couple of days. Either I'm plagued by strange and sometimes bad dreams or I get a slight anxious or panicky episode while I am

half awake. 

How I wish I can sleep like Little Baby...without a care in the world.

Kyler's upcoming bday

Oh we have a party to attend! :) 

See you soon Kyler! You are reaching your Terrific Three soon!

Social Media

Since the last GE when the masses discovered the power of social media, people have been using (and abusing) it. 

From rants on FB to rants on blog sites. From seditious alternative news sites to more neutral forums and platforms. 

People seem to have more to say. Some make sense. Others don't. Some just keep nitpicking but don't offer solutions. More others just state their views blindly and superficially or go with the crowd. Is this the reversal of political apathy in Singapore? 

==========

And then there are douchebags like Anton Casey. Mouthing off his arrogance for the world to see. (Literally the world. Articles of this incident has since been published on UK, US and AU sites) 

You may have your own opinions but whatever it is, denigrating others (and very publicly at that) is just not right. 

Too pretty to eat!

TH and Diana went to Osaka in December and bought this box of multicolored sweets for Kyne and I. 

But, oh the sweets are so lovely! Too pretty to eat! They are still sitting nicely in the plastic packaging lol. Couldn't bear to open it. 

Lovely surprise

In this current world of rampant technology where SMS-es, emails and Whtsapp messages inundate us on a daily basis, I was touched and pleasantly surprised to receive a card through the mail. As in snail mail, through the post. 

The moment I saw the handwritten address on the envelope, I knew the card was from Ally. 20 years of seeing her handwriting, it was definitely her unmistakable print. :) 

Reading the card brought a smile to my face and several tears to my eyes. Yes yes, I'm emo lol. 

Oh but I love the card, I love the bear and I love the flowers!

Thank you Ally. For being my friend too. And for being there all these while. :)

Positivity is a choice?

"One can choose to be happy or miserable. I choose the former."

Posted by a friend on his FB status this morning. 

I should learn to do this. Make it a point to see the positive points of each situation or circumstance and not dwell too much on the negatives. 

I should make it a point too to remain more calm and not get easily worked up over certain things as how I've been over the last few months since Nadya was born. 

I should try to see things in a different perspective. Try to see them in a more positive light perhaps. 

So many "shoulds". Still learning. And I hope still improving. Afterall learning is a lifelong process.

But I should keep in mind too that I shouldn't bottle up unhappy feelings. I just need to manage them better and minimize their occurrence. 

Signed

The deed is done. 

Work team

Many new personnel changes in my team. Two left during my maternity leave and now there are two new hires. But actually these two new joiners are both from the industry so we've all known each other for several years already. For the new technical guy, I personally think he is good at what he does. Humble, sincere and down to earth as well.

People in my super niche industry always end up playing "musical chairs" and hopping over between the vendor, registrar and registry. And also often between organizations based in different countries. No choice, niche industry with niche knowledge and experience. Sometimes it is worthwhile getting an experienced person from overseas rather than hiring a newbie from the local pool.

Feeling excited! Feeling renewed energy and faith in our team too! Many changes for the team in 2014. There will be a change in both work and interpersonal dynamics as well. Onward we go!

:)

Stay happy always, Little Baby. :)

Dusk

My favourite part of the day. 

When I feel most at peace. 

The picture above doesn't really capture the colour of the sky which is various shades of pink and purple. 

Today, listening to jazz and doing some simple chores. Little Baby is on an adventure downstairs with the inlaws. 

Jazz always soothes me...amazing how the smooth notes and silky voices feel like as if they are caressing my soul...

Peace and solitude. For now.

活该

知错能改是件好事。知错照做是活该。

午餐真的不应该吃那第二块鸡翅膀。。。现在肚子又开始有点不舒服了。。。

Of health and checkups

The start of all my yearly checkups has just begun. 

Jan - heart

Mar - dental, eye, heart scan

Apr - brain

Jul - heart (again)

Sigh + Argh

This is why I keep a portion of my savings relatively liquid. Because all these check-ups combined can easily cost me more than a thousand bucks especially if the doctors order various scans. 

Health is important. I'm thankful I am still considered relatively healthy.

Random realisation

I suck at buying presents. Period. 

This week

It has been a long week. Hard to believe though that it has only been a week.

So many things have taken place, so many discussions have happened, so many thoughts have run through my mind, so many words have been spoken, so many questions have been asked and so many answers have been given that it feels like as if many weeks have passed.

We are paving the way for a new chapter in our lives. We are building our future step by step. And most importantly we are doing it together. And now, also with Little Baby.

I'm thankful. 

Granny

Everytime I visit my granny, I would get a tad emotional. And yes that means every Saturday morning or afternoon since July 2007.

I've not been visiting her that regularly though since 2 weeks before Little Baby was born. 

This morning was the 2nd time that I've visited her since the birth. Both times I brought Little Baby along. But today I suppose we made some progress because Granny was awake. 

K and I managed to get Little Baby close enough to her and she did set her eyes on Little Baby. I also held her hand and stroked Little Baby's hair with it. Whether her mind registered what she saw or not I do not know. I'm just very happy that Granny got to see Little Baby today and had the chance to stroke her head. 

No points for guessing, I teared while holding Granny's hand to stroke Little Baby's hair. 

加油!

Several things running through my mind over the last few days. Some are stress-inducing, some bring happiness, excitement and anticipation, and some just bring me angst. 

May my thoughts settle down soon for I am having an outbreak. See lah, just one or two sudden stressful days and the pimples start popping up. 

Trying to 看开more. :)

Shell, 你一定行!! 加油哦!!

Buy buy buy!

In an online retail purchase frenzy again haha. This time round, it's all for the little girl.

Pre-walker shoes

Mittens (need tons of them since she's been sucking on them like crazy)

Long sleeved clothes

I'm contributing to her burgeoning wardrobe lol.

Alamak why like that?

Started the new year on a tired, drowsy, medicated note. 

Dark eye rings are getting darker and am now having a zit outbreak. Stomach spoil and am still shedding hair during showers and when I comb my hair. 

Ugh!! Could it be the post-pregnancy changing hormone levels? 

累了。病了。

Stomach spoil. 

Not entirely a nice way to start the year, because when the queasiness or nauseousness comes, giddiness sometimes comes with it too. And I'll end up having a heavy head. 

The doc said it was likely food poisoning. I think it is more of my stomach protesting against the amount of things I stuffed into it during the festive period.

Which wasn't a lot actually. In fact it was lesser than previous years given that I'm on a quest to regain my pre-pregnancy body. 

Oh well. I'll just have to lie low and eat smaller meals and lesser things for these few days/weeks. I need to get my appetite back for the fast approaching CNY!

Losing weight due to sickness is not a good thing...hmm...

Dreams

I've been having bad dreams over the last couple of nights. But I can't remember any of them except for one. Last night seemed to be the worst-hit because I woke up in the middle of the night feeling insanely fearful and anxious. 

Sigh, already not enough sleep. Now whatever sleep is marred by unpleasant dreams...Bleah. 

As The Years Roll By

It seems obligatory to pen a post on the old 2013 and the new 2014. 

2013, like any other year, was marked by peaks and troughs. Except that it's cadence was abit more erratic compared to other years. 

The year started on a hectic note, peppered with bouts of unhappiness and high stress levels. I remember having an hour long teleconference on 1 Jan 2013 and having some high and mighty people unleash their idiosyncrasies on us in that session. Preparations for it had started since 2010. It was a 3-year long project for me and it was a mad crazy time towards the culmination of the APRICOT 2013 event. The fact that CNY was right before the event didn't help much and it was a rush between deadlines for the event and trying to get angpows ready for CNY. 

The event finally ended on 1 Mar and it was a huge relief. To me, it was a great achievement as well. Something I'm mighty proud of. Not many can have such an experience organizing a regional event lasting 11 days with 900-1000 participants and at least 6 other smaller international and regional meetings held in conjunction. The experience also reinforced on me the notion that as far as possible, it is always best to keep work and friendships apart.

3 days after the event ended, I discovered something which would change K's and my lives forever. That little blue plus sign shown on the test kit sent us both into an initial shock and blur state. We didn't know how to react haha. But eventually we were overjoyed of course. Just that it took a few days for the news to sink in. ;p This was another high point for me. 

We were in a loss in the immediate weeks thereafter although things settled down after I did some rough planning. K read up a lot online as well. The months that followed became a whirl of activity. Preparations, buying of things, reading up and learning, gynae visits, my brain and heart checkups. I would say that it was a really fun time buying things and preparing for the little one's arrival. :) Shopping is always nice. Downsides of the pregnancy were the giddiness, queasiness, breathlessness and general tiredness. 

Work was as usual in all those months. I became a social hermit though, choosing to lunch in everyday because I couldn't stand being in the foodcourt. I'd feel extremely queasy, breathless and giddy. I was glad for Kah Hui's company. She sometimes accompanied me and dabao-ed her lunch as well. Our friendship grew much in 2013 and I'm grateful for that. 

Nadya's arrival was another high point in 2013. Although her arrival also brought with it some not so happy and testy, teary moments. It's been a challenge during the last 2 months plus but seeing her smile at you makes it worthwhile. I'm looking forward to watching Nadya grow and I really hope I can be there at each of her growth milestones.

Oh yes and I am really grateful that I received a promotion, while I was on maternity leave. Haha that was a pleasant surprise definitely. 

There are still more happy moments, trials and tribulations going ahead in 2014. I'm anticipating big changes both on the home front as well as in the workplace. In any case, I wish for 2014 to be a smooth year for me and all my loved ones. May it also bring to all of us much blessings, good health, peace and joy.