Je pleur tout seul

Je pleur tout seul.
I cry alone.

Sitting here in the dark.
The only illumination being from the computer.
My only companion being the virtual world.

Simple miscommunication. I took a step back, I softened my tone. But do you have to continue??

Tears. Fine. Step all over me if it pleases you.

Tears. Fine. She is of a higher priority than me.
So whether she has a dinner companion or not ranks higher compared to whether I have one or not.
"Too bad. Find your own agenda." WTF??? Seriously, WTF??

I don't need this.

And now I will have swollen eyes tomorrow cos of you. Great. I am ending the last workday of the week with swollen eyes.

Glad I'm hitting the clubs tomorrow. At least things can be pushed aside for that few hours of fun & drinks.
Delusion? Oh well.

Full rants in the other blog. Sensitive.

foul foul mood...

I met so many unruly, inconsiderate, irritating people and got caught in as many such blood pressure increasing situations as well tonight. And all these happened within the 2 hours after I left from work.

Headed to M1 in bugis to get HTC for ahboy. Out of stock. WTF. I really don't have fate with such new phones. My U600 was out of stock the other time as well. Mood changed from here on...was already feeling abit sad & irritated too cos of a not so helpful customer service boy.

Squeezed into a fucking MRT which was really actually a sardine can masquerading as a form of public transport.

Got stepped on. Got molested. Got pushed and shoved. And got elbowed in the face by a fucking Japanese tourist who would be better off being in the zoo. Bugger was talking to his female companion and hanging onto two support rings. He was swinging to & fro, irritating the hell out of me cos I was just behind him. Mis-cued. Right hand slipped from the rings. Right elbow went kaboom into my face. Said a single word of sorry and turned back to his conversation.
That wasn't just a little elbow..it was a big fat fucking piece of meat that slammed right into my face lor....what the fish?????? Aren't Japs one of the most polite people in this world?

Reached Tamp, got off and walked to the bus interchange. Thought I could go home soon and not get into any more infuriating situations. Next thing I knew. A kid spilled his Coke near me.
My left shin kena. Suay to the max I thought to myself.

Ok fine, nvm. Walk on baby walk on. There's still beautiful things in this world.
Got up on my bus. I was hanging onto dear life...from a support ring. (familiar? at least I was swinging from it.) Bus uncle slowed down suddenly. I, who was standing, was trying my best to balance. And I thought I did an okay job. The auntie who was SITTING down in front of me, lost her balance. Needless to say. Her foot stomped on my already sore foot. And she only looked at me but didn't say sorry.

Got home, cooked my own dinner. Sat in front of the PC and TMD. Simply can't believe it.
I actually forgot my log-in ID for Blogger. Had to key it in several times before I got the correct one. And I've been using Blogger for like 2 years already??? The irritation is clouding my mind.

I think I have sinned too much over the past few days or week and so God decided to wreak a little wrath on me. I've bitched too much. I've slacked too much. I've eaten too much. I've snacked too much. I've been lazy. I've been busted up. I've been too gossipy.

And I've unknowingly embroiled myself into a few tangles, one of which is Daniel's.

I need to go into hibernation again. Too much things happening in too short a time period.

Let the social life take a slide for a few weeks.

Foul Foul Mood.

minor rattles before i hit the sack

ah ok....

the verdict is out...

I wun be getting a new phone but will be inheriting a 2nd hand one....from who else but ahboy...his nokia E65...

And the prince in turn..will be getting a HTC...looks damn sleek...thought reviews not quite good...nvm..buy first then see how.. ahhaha

Settling it tomorrow...

=========
the bed beckons

=========
rendezvous avec xiao bai est confirme...
appointment with xiao bai is confirmed.

woots!! been 2.5 months since she left lhub...

=========
the bed beckons

=========
abit stressed...D&D...hopefully it pans out well...
supposed to write an internal proposal for the Thursday management meeting
kaozzz....this afternoon then tell me...

tomorrow will be my fee-lee-feh-leh...write nonsense day...

=========
the bed beckons

=========
Dunno why I get especially tongue-tied when I speak to ang-mohs..
A potential vendor called me up from Hong Kong yesterday morning. Was speaking okay but When the conversation dragged on...I couldn't respond anymore...just clammed up...
Couldn't even respond properly to his jokes....

me = hopeless

je n'aime pas...I don't like...

I hate...

• Smelling like the food you've just eaten for lunch
• Dumbass people who block your way out of the train
• People who blast their MP3s but use low grade earphones so that the poor soul next to them gets blasted too
• The way I slouch like a sloth
• The way your boss interrupts you when you speak but talks about irrelevant things instead
• Pimples
• The way you get jolted out of your sleep in the mornings thinking it's time to get up but it's actually only 4am
• Being critised for not exercising
• Wearing pants and it's raining and your pants gets all wet and sloshy
• The feeling you get when you realise someone has betrayed your trust
• Having a headache coupled with dry eyes
• How some kids can wail their lungs out but their parents just let them be
• The raw taste of dao gey in your mouth when the bak chor mee auntie doesn't scald it long enough
• The way I get tongue-tied when talking to some people and just end up smiling stupidly
• The way your fringe falls into your eyes when you're eating food
• Crocs (as in the shoes, not the animal)
• Durian
• Being undressed, getting ready to shower and then you realise damn! You're out of shampoo!
• How no taxis appear when you really need one and how they all seem to be around when you really don't need one
• blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
• blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
• blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
• blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Signing off,

Complain Queen

vammy...

Xiao Bai!!

You are more lor soh than me when blogging lor ahhaa..

Of cos..dinner with you anytime..

Arrange on MSN tmr??

Place you choose...since you treating me...but must have air-con & in a shoppping mall and no foodcourts or hawker centres...hiakzzz ;p

p/s: gossip time...hahaa..

je suis très decu, triste et un peu en colère

Je suis très decu, triste et un peu en colère.
I am very disappointed, sad & a little angry.

Ok, maybe angry is a very strong word to use. Cos I am in no position to say who's right or who's wrong. I am not the party involved. But I have to say. In a way..I am close to both parties.
We were ex-colleagues. We used to go cheonging together or popped by for a bout of karaoke after work.

Disappointment
A few months ago, actually about a year ago, I was shaking my head in disappopintment at one of them. And now...I can't believe it but I am shaking my head at both.
At how things turned out as such. How could it have happened? Why did it happen?

Sadness
I feel sad. For the innocent parties who got implicated. For the innocent parties involved. For the innocent people who got hurt. For those who got hurt but don't know the reason why. For those who got lied to.
And I feel very sad for those who are supposed to feel sad, hurt and angry...but who aren't old enough to even know what's going on.

Anger
I've said that I have no right to judge who is right and who is wrong..But still, one should have her..opps...did I mention her? One should have his/her own limits. There's still such words called "morals" & "conscience" in existence right? hmm mm....
It's not the first time. It's the XXXth time. Does it feel nice to break other people's heart? Does it feel nice to 'seduce' & succeed? And hmm mm...is KL such a nice place to go to? haha...


Like how Purpleskies puts it. I don't know what to see of them now. I don't think I can look them in the eye and laugh and joke as before.
Damn it. I could have been there on Friday night. Guess it would have felt wonderful barfing into their faces.

Mais je devine, c'est la vie.
But I guess, that's life.


Purple, you see the pun in the last French sentence? That wasn't done on purpose. hahaa..

Glenny, let's meet up soon..we have ALOT to catch up on...purple has been in the loop so far...I've been writing in riddles about this situation for a few weeks...it's time to loop you in for the full story...a year on and we will still be bitching our heads off in Hanabi again.

But till then, purple & I will not say too much...it's too long a story to tell over MSN or what...you know some of it already...we will regale you with all we know when we meet...needless to say..this time round..I will do most of the reel-spinning...purple will add in spices if I have missed out on anything...Remind us to start right from the beginning..

You're smart..you should know who I'm referring to.
Let's go for a long dinner...lunch is waaayyyy toooo shooorrrttt for this story-telling session.
I am very open next week. Put time put place and let's bitch...

To the rest, my sincerest apologies...I am unable to divulge too much about this situation...Kinda sensitive...

man this is fun...haha..boliao

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you! Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives. Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours. No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

My Love Style!

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion! And chances are, you're currently in love. You have a strong physical response to love... And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What's Your Love Style?

errrr...ok sounds suggestive.. haha...
I have a strong physical response to love?? hahaa..;p

Me!

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Oh wow...I am moral!! hahhaa..

just did a personality test and the verdict is...

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

but then..I think I am more of this:

Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

The Maid

Got some scary news yesterday.
Apparently on Friday afternoon, one of my distant relative's maid went abit cuckoo...Fillipino.

Let me intro the characters first:
1. Old man in wheelchair in living room. ALONE. Watching TV & rubbing some Chinese TCM ointment onto his legs cos he was aching.
2. Old lady bathing in the kitchen bathroom.
3. Eldest son aged about 50+ taking a nap in one of the bedrooms.

All is well when suddenly:
There is a SCREAM, a SHOUT and the sound CRASH of glass hitting the floor.
This is follwed by more SCREAMS and SHOUTS.

Simultaneously:
Son comes out of bedroom groggily. Steps right onto glass shards and there's a strong smell of TCM ointment in the room.
Old lady hurriedly dries herself and gets dressed and then rushes out into the living room.

Both are thinking:
Oh no!! He (the old man) has fallen off his wheelchair!!

But instead both see:
Blood on the floor, the maid standing behind the old man with a chopper in her hand...just standing there looking dazed and blur...
Maid took a few steps back, seemingly at a loss of what to do. She sat down on the nearet sofa.
Old man had an 8cm long gash on his back. Near his right shoulder. Still bleeding...

In the meantime:
Son & old lady in a slight state of shock. Didn't know what to do. Called the sister who was staying in the next block.
She called another sis who called an ambulance & the police. (Which makes me wonder why can't the 1st sis call 995 & 999???)
And the maid was still sitting there, with the chopper in her hands.
Son & old lady tried to stop bleeding while waiting for ambulance to come. Kept a wary eye on the maid in case she went berserk again.

Then:
Ambulance came. Police came also & cuffed the maid away.

Now:
Yet to get the latest update. Heard the old man's getting discharged today. So I think the wound shouldn't be that bad. I don't know if it's a deep slash or a more superficial wound. Hope it's the latter.
Wonder what's gonna happen to the maid? She's still in the lock-up at the moment...


Scary...my parents told me this story on saturday morning in the hush hush confines of my room.
With the door CLOSED. Didn't want to let my own maid or my granny know what's going on.

*shudders*

the gathering

Gathering went relatively well last night. Total turnout of about 17 pax.
That's one of the best turnouts we've ever had. haha...Almost full force. Even Sky & Marilyn managed to come.

Daniel & Yanling
Rohlin & Yong Soon
Ah Seng & Yvonne
Ah Ger & Jareth
Kym & XL
Mao Mao & HB
Chiewsze
Evonne
Sky
Marilyn
Myself

Food was terrible though..couldn't be bothered to spend the time & effort to do steamboat and/or BBQ again..so we all unanimously agreed to just order pizza & KFC...haha..

And of cos, with a leading air stewardess around (who else but Chiewz) who can get cheap drinks from overseas...we had a taste of various liquor... ahha...
Absolut Black was declared a lethal one with 50% alcohol.
There was another weird one called Grey Goose from Italy. Sweet Vodka...interesting...
Some beer called 1664 from dunno where oso...blah blah...

Majority left..I stayed on till 2am....dunno why also..was just stoning on the couch while some others were playing MJ.

Dan is leaving end next week...Wondering if I should try to squeeze in a dinner orkopi with him before he leaves...

=========
French is getting difficult..coupled with a teacher who is half hearted about teaching..
Aw man.. haha..
New semester starting next week. We're hoping for a change in teacher. Will only know next week when we turn up for class.

=========
Mum ..bad mood today.
Snapped at me in the kitchen. I retorted..and the rest is history...

From 1 grouchy womann in the house..now there's 2 women.

i.c.b

ICB last night with the usual suspects again...Kym & XL..

You see ah...it's so unhealthy...

Malt & sugar & carbo
+
Oily, crispy chic wings
+
Pizza
+
Hotdogs
+
Potato Chips
=
lethal combination

Caught a cab home together with Kel..since he was around the area...
First time I've seen him in bright blue.. haha...Looks good!

=========
I don't know why but I always get up with a headache & an aching body on Saturdays...
And then I have to pop Panadal before heading for French.

Mum yelling for lunch liao...it's noon time...

J'ai prendre mon dejeuner maintenant!!

Pleurer = to cry

Kind of tough sometimes.

Weird hours. Committments on weekends for you & me.
1 hour dinners on weekdays. 10mins of verbal exchanges at night sometimes.

From 5 to 4 to 3 to 2 and now sometimes to 1.

Evasive. Elusive. Again.

Pour quoi tu est comme ca? Je ne comprend pas.
Triste. Je suis un peu triste...J'envie de pleurant.
Mais alors, j'ai être fort.

grannny gran gran

Oh yah...Granny updates...

She's doing good...no more weird stories for the past 2 days at least...

Good good...keep it this way...

i am hungry but i am not supposed to eat anymore!!

Sucker for romance I am
Silly envious smiles I had
When wedding photos my eyes saw
Of two lovely people Kok Meng & Shujun

My two juniors in hostel..Just saw their wedding photos posted on Shujun's friendster account.
Awww.....
So sweet!! She was so pretty...
For those who have my Friendster..She's Junaries in my list of friends...
(I can hear kaypoh people clicking in to see liao hahaa....;p)

Have not kept in touch with them...But am still happy for them...
For one, that they found each other...And two, that they lasted since school days.. haha...

==========
Kaiping called me up last night...
And asked if I could help out with his wedding reception next Sunday.. haha

Me & XL will be there...

==========
From being an Aunt Agony...I have just taken on another role...
That of a mediator..a middleman...a peacemaker..

Picture this.
Put 2 close friends...and a date together...
Throw a big dash of "fly aeroplane" and lots of "pissed off"
Put in a little "sorries" and "whatevers" and "I don't wanna talk to you"
Stir-fry the whole mixture...

Then add me to the picture...I'm the goon trying to pick through the mixture to get all the condiments of "pissed off" & "I don't wanna talk to you" out...

Being the sausage in between the two big & loud buns is a tough job...

Especially tough when you're trying to work & mediate at the same time..That was in the afternoon
Equally tough when it's after work already and you're shopping and 1 of the buns calls you up to rant....
Lagi tough when 1 of your hands is holding the phone and the other is holding onto your bf...

*rolls eyes*
Tomorrow better not have any more such things...Kinda tiring...

==========
Had a nice lunch today...Lots of laughter..some nonsense gossip...
But nice lunch with 3 male colleagues.. haha...all the girls disappeared today...

==========
Beetle Bug at Bugis is gone!!!
Ahboy & I wanted to go buy his shoes just now...and the shop's gone!!! They barricaded that area with those umm...construction wooden boards...hmm mm...

Went to M1 too. Saw the HTC pda phone...
It's not on display but when you request, they will show it to you.. I think HTC is a Taiwan brand or dunno what...
But it looks cool!!!
Macham a black version of an ipod.. ahha...a slilghtly bigger more rubbery feel than ipod though...
Alot of the functions are touch screen, much like how you control an ipod by moving your finger around...though there's still a stylus...

$598 for 2 yr plan. Hmm mm....heart itchy now...hmm mm...;p
gian gian gian....

==========
Dinner with Tien Phey yesteday was um..not too bad...(the food was quite good)
Treated him to an early birthday dinner...

Well.....Cept for the fact that he was 80% stoned...and....

30% of the time he was SMS-ing
30% of the time he was eating
25% of the time his mind was floating elsewhere
15% of the time his mind was on me....

Of the 15% of the time he was aware of my presence...

50% was spent bemoaning his lack of a gf...or his troubles in the obscure world of BGR
40% was spent harping on work challenges
5% was spent on general issues like "the restaurant's decor is nice" or "that girl's pretty"
3% was spent reminiscing about old times
2% was spent on me

Bleah!

==========
Boss called me from Hong Konb 3 times this morning...within a span of 45 minutes...
It's sort of confirmed that I will be doing marketing for teh Hong Kong office as well..

But erm...shit...I have like O experience doing regional marketing..
Nil, kosong, zilch, ling...zero
Ack!!

==========
Nerd of a shell
Shell of a nerd

I think I have an obvious streak of nerdism in me.
Is there even such a word? *scratch head*...oh well...doesn't matter...as long as my point gets across..

It's not like there's a neon sign saying "NERD ALERT" hanging on me...
But well...if you dig what I am saying..
This shell is harbouring a squiggly nerd inside...

==========
Was reading my first few posts.. in this blog...July 2005.
2 years ago...wah...so long already??

Dang... I don't write poems anymore...hmm mm...

simple tidings to while the time away...

Waiting for ahboy to finish work at 11pm...it has become almost a weekday routine to wait up for him..
Then he would call..we would chat for awhile...before hanging up.
He would head on home and well I would head on to my travels in slumberland...=))

Wanted to go get a new phone last Friday. But Samsung U600 was out of stock.
Bopian..no other nicer phones to get liao...cept maybe E65...Gave my number to M1, they'll buzz me when the new stocks come in.

Ahboy & I are going shopping on Wednesday!

==========
Meeting up with TP tomorrow night. He'd better not irritate me with his pessimism.
Can't say for sure what'll I'll do if he does though. Hmm mm...Scowl at him?

==========
Was watching the school superstar contest just now..some kids are really good...
The guys Javin & Fukang wow-ed me with their maturity, confidence & voices...
In terms of looks, Keely from the girls' side impressed me alot....

==========
Vanity vs practicality

Sighzz...It's either I don't know hwo to buy shoes...or my feet are just made to wear slippers.
Whatever shoes I wear..just seems to aggravate my feet...be it my toes, or my heels...or my ankles...or my bunions....

But but but...no choice leh..they look nice and I can't be wearing slippers to work right?

(bimbo moments again...)

==========
Was eating at Tanjong Pagar Market today...It's been ages since I've eaten there....2 years maybe? Though I'm in Tanjong Pagar like almost everyday...

And perhaps to celebrate my return to the place..God placed Wang Lu Jiang & Jeff Wang there.. ahhaa...Think they were doing another food show of some sort...
Huang Biren was there as well...with Kelvin Soo.

Professionals in shirt & tie were gawking openly...office ladies in tight skirts, high heels & tight shirts lost their normally cool composure and were giggling and pointing amonhgst themselves...
Oh well...little bits of excite,ent in this boring Sillypore of ours.

Which brings to mind...2 weeks ago I saw Edmund Chen in the same area. Then today...4 local celebrities...though not all big time ones.. haha...Tanjong Pagar has become a magnet for our local stars?

Special entry dedication to Xiao Bai...

SP aka Xiao Bai aka Vammy

Orh lalala lalala....sayang lah....!!!
Aiyoh...

Hmmmm..you missed out on one entry..Think I wrote something about you after our session that night.. haha...See I write about you leh!!!!!

What abt me me me?

haha..

Made this a super big text so you can SEE!

here pussy pussy...

Buttons - Pussy Cat Dolls

Will end this with a song that gets me grooving...
There was a period of time when I would obsess about having a great bod like one of those girls on the MTV channel..
Think I was in my secondary school or JC days...
Got over it...as most tennage girls do...

And then the Pussy Cat Dolls had to come out and FLAUNT! argh...
hahahhaa...I feel inadequate...

More than Words

More Than Words - Extreme

And here's a song which to date...still gets a fair bit of exposure on the airwaves...
Classic fav for people who play the guitar...Heard the chords are difficult to master?
Adrian tried to learn but I think he gave up...haha..

I still don't uderstand the concept of long hair on guys...

All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hand
And touch me
Hold me close
Don't ever let me go
More than words
Is all I ever
Needed you to show

more slow rock..

Silent Lucidity - Queensryche

more old time MVs coming up..
Gosh..am gonna bomb my own blog with these videos...

The good old days of cassettes and cheesy music videos...

November Rain - Guns & Roses

Fell in love with Guns & Roses...when I was in my primary school days..
My big bro Adrian was in his "slow rock" days..and was blasting this on his sony walkman...
I remember fighting with him to hear this song..Eventually came to a compromise and he blasted the song on our hifi set...with the cassette of course..needless to say...sound quality wasn't as good back then..

Ah..the good old cassette days...=)
I love Slash!! the fella with hair covering his whole face.. hahah....classic guitarist...

Tis' a day of classic songs

Wen Rou by May Day

Tis' a day of classic songs...
Songs that get me going...songs that get me thinking...
Songs that make me tear..songs that make me relive my days in hostel...
Songs that well..are just classics in their own right..

Tokyo Drift Fast & Furious - Teriyaki Boyz

Let's just say this song gets me going anytime..
Been a long while since I popped into any club..
Butt, fingers, toes getting itchy already..
Feel like popping into a room blasting dance or hiphop..

*growl*
when when?

蘇打綠-小情歌

蘇打綠-小情歌

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐
当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道
就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了
看见你背影来到
写下我
度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了
最后谁也都苍老
写下我
时间和琴声交错的城堡

okok one last post before I go and bathe...

hehe..I know....some are going "eee stinko!!!" in the background..

Bt I need to complain..AGAIN.

Got a new black turtleneck top. Couldn't try it so was just hoping it'd be ok.

Just tried it...It's nice...But the hole is darn small!! Took me 2-3 tries to get my head through the neck hole!!!
The first time I tried, the whole blouse just bounced right off my head and pooled collectively on my head. Damn, my head so big meh??????
The second time my hair got caught in between the folds of the turtleneck portion...
And the 3rd time, it bounced off AGAIN...

4th time lucky and yay! The top looks good! hahaha...Bimbo moments.....=p

Um, as for taking off....let's just say it was a struggle to get my head out again..

updates

On a topic which has rrecently hogged my blog space..
Gran of course.

She was discharged form CGH on Friday afternoon...Mum told me that there was a fiasco when they reached home...
Gran had a bawling fit. Was crying and yelling for 30-45 mins...

Main things from her:

- I am old already..why cant you just let me die?
- Live till so old for what? Also no use. Anything also cannot do. Everything also cannot do.
- Why don't you just throw me in an old folks' home and let me die there?
- I want to die...I want to commit suicide..I want to jump off..

Sigh...emo tantrums...amidst the othe rmind-boggling behaviours...in a way..I feel for my parents as well...Not easy to take care of Gran...

More weird things which I witnessed myself...
Woke at 7am this morninng...Went to the washroom...Saw the maid & gran in the kitchen...

Gran was holding a plastic plate...shuffling around...picking up imaginary pieces of dust balls & god-knows-what from the floor, from the table, from the exterior of the cabinets, from behind the radio...blah blah....and then putting those "things" onto the plate.
All the while muttering comments like:

- "so dirty...aiyoh..why like that....?"
- "don't they ever clean?"
- "this is so dirty..how come so much dirt?"

Sigh...I can't say she is degenerating cos she is lucid most of the time.
Just that these behaviours show otherwise...
And they really do make you think that perhaps the time is near...when the day comes when she wun be able to recognise us anymore.

Age of 91. It's been a long life.

more ramblings

(with sodagreen's little love song playing the background...) hehe...

===========
Was with ahboy on Friday night and it was an impromptu decision to go watch Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer..
We were in Bugis Junction and were lazy to go anywhere...

It's been such a long time since I've been there that I'd forgotten how junky the Bugis Junction cinema is.. haha...
Low flat floor...low seats...smelly seats...bad sound system..small screen....
Not a very nice movie experience...but the setas were comfy enough lah I must say...

Oh anyway, my apologies if I have digressed too much...
Crux of the story is that...Fantastic Four SUX.....It's the curse of sequels.. Hardly can a movie surpass its predecessor..(with the exception of maybe Lord of the Rings?? And Ocean's 13? And X-Men??)
But Fantastic Four Part 2 is just BLEAH...

Plot is dumb..the heroes didn't quite do much in the show except quarrel half the time and say dumb, meaningless things...I'll take X-Men over the F4 anytime....

Oh, but to give F4 some little credit..the comedic moments were plentiful...

=========
Night Safari was nice...Hope Marac got to see some of the animals whilst on the tram ride....The commentary was going too fast at the beginning that even I got blur...what more to a 3 yr-old kid?

Wonder how it will be like being a volunteer there..saw a poster...
Will go to the zoo's website to take a look at how that scheme goes...
Ahboy offered to fetch me home from there...haha..that is if I really do volunteer there lah..=)

=========
Complain time.

URS shoes always give me problems. This particular pair which I bought for CNY. I've only worn it 2 or 3 times..including CNY. And it's given me trouble each time suhc that I've left it collecting dust in the shoe cupboard for a few months already.

Opened my cupboard yesterday morning and saw it sitting forlornly there in its corner...
Thought I'd be kind and give it another chance...
Truly regrettable decision I must say...for it gave me hell...

Lots of plaster was used..I was walking weird by the end of the day..
Bathed at night after I got home and was too tired to remember that I couldn't let water touch it directly too soon...
Voila!!!
Hot water on 2 big angry blisters = a shell who was jumping around in the toilet...at 1am in the morning...

And now I am stuck with a big blister on both feet..just below where the big toe starts...
The one on my left foot is not looking good...red, raw, angry, swollen and ugly..and um...oozing some liquid for the whole of today...
I think I have to bring out my antiseptic cream liaozzzz
The one on the right is still not so bad...red and angry but showing signs of drying up already...

========
B-R-O-K-E

Spent $170 on the Night Safari tickets tonight..
Spent $260 bucks this afternoon to sign up for my next semester of French classes.

Gonna spend $400 getting a new phone within the next 2-3 weeks.
Still accumulating new clothes for work...and shoes...

Man, June's expenditure is super high..!!

Shit..wedding dinner on 1st & 7th July...aaaahahhhh!!!!!

=========
Surprisingly..I am quite wide awake now....
And the tongue is trying to psycho the brain to put some food into the system...or is it the other
way around??
Wait..or is it the tummy telling the brain? Or the...hmm mm....

It's 1am...slight drizzle outside...
Cool air...

Life's beautiful.. ahhaha....
Ok....I am spouting nonsense already....Time for the next post!!!

Sodagreen - Little Love Song (yes, i know again!!)

This is the original MV...I am so in love with this song..
Think I might get their album just for this song...heard some of their other songs on YouTube....some are quite good too...

My heart would just melt if a guy would play this on his guitar and sing it for me..
But alas...dreams are but dreams...

Soda Green - Little Love Song

Man I just love this song...the piano accompaniement is just so lovely..so sweet...so touching...

DUCKIES UNITE!!

Duckie girls gathering went well...

I love it when gatherings go like this...
You don't meet each other for 6 months but when you do...you just pick up from where it was left off the previous time and then yak away again....

We went through our usual SOP again....round table updates...each one taking her turn to update & ghossip about her happenings in life...

It was a pity Selin couldn't turn up at the last minute...else we would have been a complete group...
Glad to see Lydia so happy with her current life...new bf, good job..good pay...living it up in Indonesia...
Glad that EE Hong is happily married...
Glad that Tricia is doing good in her job...though she wants to move on..
Glad that Ginger is still as bubbly as ever.. haha....

===========
The dinner was at Waraku in Marina Square...It was a fiasco in its own sense...

Ee Hong's food did not arrive at all despite several reminders....we finished our food already..and hers was still not here...Checked again and was told that the order never ever got in the system...

Needless to say....Ee Hong ...the most gungho & garang person of our group....screwed them upside down...From the Supervisor to the Assistant Restaurant Manager...
They were suay lah..of all people, it had to happen to her.

And so...muahaha....the 5 of us got a free meal...with desserts thrown in for free...
Service recovery was good....the young waitres who screwed up the order even came in at the end to apologise to all of us...

I felt bad for them actually...I mean to have a team of people saying sorry to you for like 15-20 times in a single night was too much for me hahha...
Oh well...always the soft soft me....

Hmm mm...somehow it's always Ee Hong getting the shit.. ahha....Were at Lau Pa Sat the other time and she got a huge summon for parking illegally....a huge summon plus 4 points...
And tonight this thing happened... haha...

===========
Spoke to Daniel again on MSN this afternoon...I really don't know what or how to help him...

Think he didn't want to disturb me at work..but he was also feeling very bad about his situation...and badly needed someone to talk to...
Plus..I think I am the only one who knows the full whole story of this situation he is in...
Even his mum & good guy friends don't know...

Sigh...tried my best to listen and give some views...but what I can say has all been said...
Just hope things go okay for him...

He asked if I would support him...I said whatever decision he makes..of cos I will support him...
Whether I think its the right or wrong decision...it doesn't matter cos it's his own path anyway...
I can't dictate it...
I can only give him my listening ears, my support and my shoulder to cry on...hahha if he needs it that is....

He has a few weeks more to settle this thing before he flies back to Australia...Will say a silent prayer for him tonight...

===========
I think i am super shy when it comes to me being in a group of new people...or strangers so to speak...
I hope it doesn't translate into people thinking I am arrogant or dao or whatever...

I have a black face when I don't smile too...Hope it doesn't put others off haha...
Sighzzz...

===========
I miss ahboy....even though we went for a movie yesterday...

===========
Was at Plaza Sing yesterday when I discovered a new shop..It's next to the OP shop on the ..hmm mmm...lemme see...
The 3rd or 4th floor I think.

It's a stationery shop...selling papers, and trinkets and lotsa art & crafts pieces for scrap book making....
Oh my god...I went gaga in there....if not for the fact that I was gonna watch a movie..I think I would have grabbed lotsa pretty paper to buy!!!!

So pretty!!! So many designs!!! So many colours!!! So many so many!!!

The art & craft pieces for scrap book making were expensive though...

===========
Wonder if I have the chance to go over to Hong Kong..hmmmm...
I will soon be involved in doing regional marketing...the new Finance Manager who only came in a week earlier than me...will be going next week...

But it's for a valid reason lah..of sorting out the accounting system over at the branch office over there....

For me leh.. hmm mm.....wonder if I will get a chance to go....hmm mm....
Cross fingers?? haha...

I got an arrow today...I am abit kan cheong about it actually.
Was told in the morning. That I would be tasked to organise the company's annual D&D.
The date has been set. 18th August.

BUTTTT....nothing has been done yet. I went like WHAT?? Nothing has been done??
Venue hasn't been booked. Events company hasn't been booked....
And there's only 2 months to go settle things...

Guess tomorrow will be a quotes gathering day....

*prays hard for things to go smooth*

===========
Lemme see...there's another gathering tomorrow
With Glenn & Chloe & Jenice...

Hiakzz...at Blue Mist...yum yum!!!

===========
Saturday...has been set as Night Safari day...

Will have dinner with ahboy first after my french class....maybe thrown in some window-shopping time....
And then we will head down to Night SAfari to get tix and then wait for the rest to come...

Who's the rest??
Mum, Dad, Adrian, Mei & Marc.

It's sort of like a Father's Day outing. Of cos, with Marc in mind too lah...he wants to see crocodiles...err....don't think at night can see crocodiles though...Night Safari don't have right?

that THING

Oh yah..I forgot one important thing...

Well...the something which I imagined was happening...the THING I was talking about on Monday night..
But which I cannot reveal at this point in time...It REALLY is happening.

My gut feel and observations...have proven right again...It all adds up...and now even more so with more confirmations from other sources...sigh...in a way..it has lead to some disappointment...a minor bit of frustration...some disgust and lots of questions....

Only 2 others know about it at this point in time...And we were tlaking about it today...One has expressed similar thoughts to me..The other I think similar thoughts as well..just that he chooses not to think or bother too much about it...

Ahboy said...Not up to me to determine if it's right or wrong...
I know and I agree...But still...I feel for the situation...guess it's cos I know all the parties involved...and this time round (yes, it has happened before)....it concerns young kids...

I wonder how things will pan out this time. Will that person snap out of his ideas?
Will there be a better ending? I hope so...I hope so for the sake of the young uns...

One big question. Why? Why do it again and again?
Is this path of life a nice one to walk? Or maybe..to put it crudely and speculatively...is the $$$ attractive perhaps?

I am speaking in riddles...Perhaps one day...I will divulge more...depends on how the situation goes...

yawn yawn yawn!!!

Just got home..am tired...but I just wanna jot some stuff down.. ahha

Watched Ocean's 13.. ahha...Superb...=) Just like the 1st 2 instalments...

George Clooney seems to ooze more the sex appeal with each year added onto his age
Brad Pitt looks like he's getting a bit too much wrinkles on his face...BUT...he's sstill as suave as last time....(or maybe the wardrobe designer on the set did a great job for him..)

I used to mix up Matt Damon & Mark Wahlberg...But in colclusion..I think I like Mark Wahlberg better... haha...more man...and more mature...=)

Next up....Fantastic 4...oh yah..shit....I still have not gotten down to watching Pirates haha....SUAKU!!!
Eagerly awating Transformers...Used to watch the cartoon....woohoo!

==========
Man..late nights have taken a toll on my throat and my eye bags.. haha
I still have a few more days to tahan...

Thursday with the Duckie girls..Lydia is back from Indonesia...her 18 months teaching stint...now only 6 months into it....

Friday with Ahboy...and yeah..will be getting a new handphone..hmm mm...
Will it be an E65 or a W880i? Or the new samsung?? hmmmm...

==========
Getting along slightly better with new colleagues...
Am still considering how it will be to join the headhunting team...hmm mm...
They just jio-ed me again today ahah...

I think I am getting audacious...gave the CEO attitude today..
*tsk tsk* Better watch myself...But when you see things done in such a haphazard manner...you tend to argh....just get abit frustrated at how $$$ is being thrown away.

==========
Lunch & dinner appointments lined up...some next week...man oh man....
Like I've said before..it's the season of gatherings & catch-ups...

==========
Quick update on granny...
Still the same..coughing like mad..
But fever is gone...

Kena scolding by Dad in hospital...COs well...being the stubborn mule that she is. She went to the loo without asking for a nurse to be around.
Seriously don't know what to do about it.

Dad is trying one errr....major tactic. He threatened not to come by to even see her in hospital if she still insists on doing that.
Sigh...

==========
Ok...super stoned...
Heading for a quick bath and then.....oh my bed!!!!!!!!!!!

my tuesday...

Gran was admitted to CGH today..Dad SMS-ed me around 10-plus this morning.

It's been a monthly affair for the past 3-4 months.
This time round, it's wheezing, bad cough, throat infection, lung infection and diarrhoea...
Quote a lot of things to happen at the same time...for someone so old...
Right now..even a 5m walk to the toilet seems a tough journey for her...

Was there to see her just now...Had to control my tears when I was looking at her coughing her guts out...figuratively of course...
But literally, her face turned red...her veins were showing on her face and throat...
She was coughing till she was almost breathless...wheezing, coughing at the same time..

Was almost afraid to leave the hospital..Hope she really does't remain stubborn...Really hope she remembers to call the nurse on night duty if and when she needs to take a leak...

============
Had an impromptu dinner with Daniel tonight. After the visit to the hospital...
Chatted for 3 hours...

Guess what? Shouldn't be difficult for you...but well...yeah, was Aunt Agony again..
Hahaa...Good listener that I am...3 different people pouring out their thoughts and situations to you within a week is quite taxing in its own sense...
Felt emotional tonight...Was almost on the edge of tears when I was talking to Dan just now...

He means a lot to me...as a friend of course...Went through things since hostel days...been 8 great years...Hope things pan out well for him..I can't solve his problems...and for tonight..I have to say..I really felt more than helpless...Perhaps it's cos I know both parties involved...

Argh...just hope things turn out okay..
Will be calling him in a few days time again...

==========
Was on MSN with Tien Phey this afternoon.
I have to say...I was abit harsh on him...Couldn't help it...I was feeling frustrated too..

1 year ago I asked him..."How's things?"
The answer I got was "xianzzz....work sux.."

6 months ago... asked him "How's things?"
He said "Bad. Not good. Terrible. Horrible. xianzzzz......work sux, everything suxxx...I want to leave soon...I am still single...there is no hope..."

3 months ago "How's things?"
"Very bad. I want to leave soon...but not say want to leave then can leave..work suxx...my life suxx...everything is not going well...nothing is going well..."

I rate myself as a pessimistic person..
If I am pessimistic. This person is GOD DAMN PESSIMISTIC. I have not heard a single word of "alright..things are going fine..." from him..since dunno how long ago....
Seems the older he gets...the more pessimistic he gets...
Man, did his pessimism rub off on me during our brief 4 months together last time?? Hope not..

I was harsh to him today. Which I regretted abit later..but I had to make him see my point.
My point is....you complain since a year ago...but you don't seem to be doing much about it?! What is wrong? Find out what is wrong then work out steps to solve it! Moping, spiralling downwards ain't a way to get things moving ahead??

After my stiff outburst. He told me.
"I dun wanna tok abit it. Next time don't ask me how are things going for me. I think you oso frustrated by me."

And how was I supposed to answer that???
Sighzzzz....I am genuinely concerned...and my ears are for you...I care for you and I really want things to go well for you....
But I cannot be there to listen to you moan and groan about the horrible world you live in all the time! Not when it's the same comments and sighs and moans and groans I've heard since last year...
I hate feeling helpless when I cannot do much for other party....especially when the other party refuses to do much to help himself...???

===========
Tired...have a feeling tomorrow will be a long day...
Especially in terms of work...

Heading to bed....

Signing off,
Emotional, frustrated, worried, stressed...yet strangely in a way, happy shell

granny updates..

"She's getting weaker by the day."
Quote unquote...a comment from my dad.

She went to bed at 8pm. Heading to bed earlier and earlier nowadays...
She spent the next hour muttering to herself on the bed...and singing and humming..
Perhaps some old long forgotten melody form her younger days...I dunno...
Curled up on her side, both hands clasped beneath her head, palm to palm.

But it was eerie...it was sad...it was worrying...
Occassionally, her mutterings and hummings will be interrupted by her coughing...
But she'll resume afterwards...

In a way..I feel for the maid too..cos she sleeps in the same room as Granny...
Sometimes, according to her..in the middle of the night..Granny will start muttering too..whether she's awake, semi conscious of purely dreaming...she doesn't know though...

Before she went to bed, Gran was huffing and puffing...complained that her back ached...

The horoscope hails true...it said to take extra caution for those Monkeys with old folks at home...

Incoherent babbling...But I think C, you'll understand...

Aw man...think I just sent 20-odd messages to Chloe...felt bad about disturbing her when she's supposed to be studying for her exam tomorrow...
But But But...She was the 1st person I absolutely had to tell!!! hahaha...so I put on my selfish mask & SMS-ed her & Glenn...

Only Chloe replied...
We were discussing something...something which I will not divulge here..not when it's only speculation on my part...and gut feel...

But with regards to this particular person..my gut feel somehow always seems to be accurate...
From the fling to the boyfriend...and now to another grim possibility...

Sighzz....I can only hope it is not what I'm imagining...
If it is...then I'll really be quite disappointed...and I think maybe I might not be the only one to be disappointed...

After so many of my close guy friends have gone astray...(or almost did..)
I was beginning to lose faith in the opposite sex....
If my hypothesis holds true..........aw man...I'll seriously scream my head off.....

I cannot imagine it...but yet, bits and pieces are falling into place to form a fuzzy picture..
Just like the other time when I deduced something about this person...which turned out to be so very true in the end...
And what this fuzzy picture is turning out to be...is still speculation on my part...but I think I'm beginning to not like what I see....or might see...

Shit...am speaking in riddles here...
Cos I can't say too much...Ain't fair for some people...
But But But...I need an outlet to vent for the moment....
Glenn is MIA, Chloe is studying...and Ahboy is working!!!!

Virtual world...you're my saviour!!!!!!!

I want to comprain!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to watch Ugly Betty but both my parents are hogging the 2 TVs at home!!!!

One's watching a dumb Chinese show..and the other one is watching some dumb violent Jap movie!!!!!

*pout*
Makes me wonder why I am relegated to facing my PC screen or hugging my storybook always....
*pout*

love my baby!!

interesting webbies

Found an interesting site...
Was wathcing some of the videos on the site...simple..kinda cute...
There were some videos playing oldies..songs from the 30s era...so nice...so warm...so cuddly..

www.flipflopflyin.com

Go take a look...

Herd there's another interesting site..but I've not gone in to see yet....wonder what it's about...

www.beaverandsteve.com

Granny...

She seemed ok when I talked to her yesterday and this morning...

Yet, there are momentary bouts of hmm....how shall I put it...
Momentary bouts of forgetfulness? helplessness? blurness?
Which makes us all worried about how her state of mind is....

#Incident 1
The maid brought her to the toilet on Thursday evening.
She removed her pants but left her undergarment on...and happily let go...
She still didn't realise it and grabbed a handful of toilet paper to wipe....
It was only at this point in time that my maid realised what had happened...

#Incident 2
She got up one morning last week. She had breakfast and was about to put on her medicated eyedrops after the meal...
Her specs was still on...and she was dripping the medication onto her specs....without realising it...

Other small small things like that...
Sighzzz....