GE2025

24/7 monitoring started on 23 April. 

Laoniang 老了. I feel more tired now than when I was involved in shift work in GE2020. 

Mid-way through...ganbatte!!

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I feel a buzz in the air though....I can almost see it. 

GE2025 is so different from GE2020 where things were so muted and campaigning and hustings were conducted almost entirely online. 

I did not realise how I missed the rallies. I did not realise how I missed the trucks driving around bearing their party colours and loudhailers blaring party slogans and calls to action from ward resident. 

Till I heard them once again. :) 

Maybe age changes someone. I was never this interested in our GEs...this round feels different somehow and I find myself regularly catching the news and watching updates or highlights from mainstream media or from social media. 

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I admire those who stepped up for the various parties. Whether from a small party or a big one with great resources, putting yourself out there in front of the nation, calls for great courage. And I applaud all those who have stood up to run. 

What I don't appreciate though, is the various netizens who lambast candidates online. As one netizen put it aptly: "Say so much, comment so much, why you ownself never run? Talk big only." 

Say what you want behind closed doors but to openly belittle someone else online, I think it is not nice. 

Granted though, that some (or perhaps many) of these FB accounts may just be bots created by folks who just want to be trolls or foreigners who just want to have an interfering hand in SG's business or bored locals who just want to "stir" up unsavoury sentiments on the ground. 

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Kudos too to the many unsung folks working behind the scenes to ensure the whole machinery is working well...to quell any possible foreign intereference...to ensure security systems are in place...to ensure IT systems are working well...

Both the public service, and the many volunteers behind each party...

Jacky in the cab

Took a cab to work today. Lazy to lug 2 laptops on the bus. 

Cab guy made me "cry" lol. 

His playlist was all Jacky Cheung's songs, both in Chinese & Cantonese. 

Gosh, all the feels.....

I teared up at one point and was able to just dab away those tear drops....I thought to myself: "Lucky he didn't play 我真的受伤了" else I'd be bawling in the cab lol...

When I reached office, I thanked cab guy for playing Jacky's songs and told him "我的童年。"

He laughed and said "Hah nor...我也是。"

Thank you Matthew for a nice playlist!

Breathe

feeling stuck, restless and frustrated 

also having brain fog and lethargy 

stomach not doing too good 

anxious thoughts 

trying to 调解 

有些事情不在我控制之内 

有些人和事故也不在我控制之内 

It's said that we should just accept things beyond our control. 

Am I supposed to just accept? Getting harder these days. 

Mama

I remember friends around me found it odd we called you Mama. I don't know, maybe it's a Peranakan thing to call our grandmothers "Mama". Pronounced as M3 Ma2. I've known you as that my entire life, as have my brother and cousins. 

It's been 11 years since you passed. I miss you Mama.....and I miss...

• your leathery skin & age spots
• your wrinkles & big eyes
• your perfectly straight teeth (cos you had dentures ;p)
• your long long ear lobes
• your permed silver hair
• your super warm and big hands which were a lifesaver in cold shopping malls when I was a little girl 
• the way you pat your stomach when you have indigestion (I think I got this habit from you)
• the way you sat at the coffee table playing solitaire with 2 decks of poker cards by yourself. (I remember the cards were so well-used that some of them felt pretty soft to the touch and their edges were a little furry cos the cardboard was so worn out already)
• your yellow glutinous rice and its accompaniments like friend ikan bilis, sambal, dark soy sauce prawns, etc
• your chin chow & cheng ting
• your lo mai gai & bergedils
• your potato chips & kueh pie tees
• your bak zhangs & chap chyes
• your kebayas and kerosangs
• your "cilakahs" & "yao xius" & other swear words when you watched a baddie do his things in a channel 8 drama
• the way you set up your tilam on the floor each night & refused to sleep on the proper bed Dad did up for you
• the way you would spoon me on the sofa at our old Bedok home and sing nursery rhymes to me on some evenings after dinner. I was only 4 then and still tiny enough to squeeze with you on the sofa. 
• the way you tried your best to sign T.G.Q. on my primary school workbook on a few occasions because I forgot to get Dad to sign my work and I didn't want him to know but I had to hand in my book the next day and you were the only "help" I could get lol...I'm sorry you had to sign even though you didn't really know how to write or read...
• your old white cupboard which stood tall & proud for more than 40 years I think...it was definitely older than me and my heart broke when Mum & Dad sold the Tampines flat and could not bring that cupboard along to Adrian's place....
• the way you hid your various pieces of gold jewellery all over the house to spread the risk in case thieves got into our house. It drove Mum nuts but it definitely amused me as a young shild. 
• your feistiness and spirit even when your physical body and mind was not fully cooperating with you anymore..... 

the list goes on and on....

I hope you're happy & well wherever you are...and may you continue to watch over us and bless us...

女人

Since last year, it's been more jialat each time big auntie comes to visit these days, compared to just a few years ago and compared to when I was in my 20s or 30s.

More emo, more irritable. More backaches, more cramps. More lethargy, more brain fog.

Symptoms vary each month, sometimes one is experienced more than the other this month but the following month it becomes the other way. 

But generally all symptoms are more pronounced than last time, especially on the day before, Day 1 & 2. 

Checked among closer female colleagues and this seems to be the "trend" among those in their mid-40s. Of course, there are some younger ladies who've had bad symptoms each month ever since they were young. I feel for them, having to endure discomfort for so many years on end. 

Nvm..I will niam each month. And just have to 咬牙继续走....