Hmm....

Experiencing some symptoms and behaviour reminiscent of 2 years back. 

Thought I was managing myself alright. 

Ok..breathe! 

Remember....Thoughts --> Feelings --> Behaviour

Therefore, manage the root better....

24 September 2021

Alyssa turned 6!

She had a full day of activities that Friday lol. She wanted to travel by bus and train (since we usually travel by car) and she wanted to catch a movie and eat BK. 

K had a father-daughter date with her. He brought her out and took the bus to Paya Lebar, then switched to the train and went all the way to Nex to catch Boss Baby 2 with her. Lunch was at BK, hung around a little at a pet shop at Nex and then came back home. 

She was too buzzed to take her afternoon nap. Anyway, she's been trying to skip it once in a while these days, saying she's getting bigger already. :) So she and I spent some time in the afternoon doing some craft and conducting an experiment over what items found in my bedroom will float or sink. 

She wanted to eat Sushiro for dinner, so we all trooped down to fetch Nadya from her student care centre and popped by Sushiro. She indulged in all her favourite stuff like unagi sushi, prawn tempura, squid sushi, and crabstick tempura sushi. Nadya took her usual tamago sushi, chawanmushi, crabstick tempura sushi, and some others I cannot remember now haha. 

Got a rich chocolate cake and then went back home to sing her a birthday song, blow candles and have dessert. 

I think Alyssa thoroughly enjoyed herself that day. :) Happy to see her happy. 

Conversations with a 6yr-old and an 8yr-old

24 September 2021. Alyssa's 6th birthday. 
Both girls had an argument in the evening over something (I can't recall by now). 

Nadya came into my room with furrowed brows and asked me: "Mama, Alyssa told me that you said to her you wished you didn't give birth to me. Is this true?"

I was alarmed. Those were harsh hurting words. I said no such thing. And where on earth did the small one hear of such stuff? 

Had to allay Nadya's fears and reassure her first. I then went into their bedroom and spoke to Alyssa but couldn't find out much from her on where she'd picked up those words from. Chided her gently for falsely telling Nadya that I said those things as well. 

And had to reassure both girls that Mama loves them alot and would never say such things to them. 

I hope they're reassured. 

Conversations with an 8yr-old

27 Sept 2021. Monday.
Start of a 2-week HBL period. 

Nadya: Mama! We can eat Dada you know?

Me: Har?? 

N: Ya! Because he is Kueh Dadar! 

N: *guffaws*

-_-''  

Lol...lately she's been dishing out more 冷笑话s. Wonder where she's getting them from. Probably from friends in school or her student care centre....

Of Sumikko Gurashi and Tears....

We have Sunday evenings as mini-movie nights.
Mini because we don't do a full movie but just 30-35mins. So a movie is split over 3-4 Sundays to finish up. 

We recently did the Sumikko Gurashi movie. There was no spoken dialogue and most of the character's thoughts and feelings were captioned on the screen in Japanese words instead. There were English subtitles too. I wondered though, if Nadya could read the subtitles fast enough, and if Alyssa could even understand any of it at all. 

The movie ended on a sad note though, when one of the characters had to stay back in its own alternate universe. It had to be separated from the rest of its friends and could not join them in their world. 

When it came to that ending scene, I heard a whimper from Nadya (who was sitting next to me) and was surprised to see her tearing up and crying mildly. What shocked K & I even more was when Alyssa burst out crying as well and continued bawling for a long time after. 

It was full-fledged crying. Red eyes. Snot. Constant stream of tears. Heaving. Hitching. 

My heart felt so bad for her...She was so saddened by the movie's ending. She had latched on to K and refused to let go so he had to spend quite some time consoling her....

Now I know. They probably take after me when watching shows. I cry at every single shit. Lol....

Walk

It was a beautiful morning. 

The trees stood tall and proud. 

Leaves heavy with dew glistened under the sun's rays. 

Leaves fluttered down from the trees and dotted the pathways. 

The shrubs lining the path connector felt fresh and happy. 

Some plants were in full bloom and the bright flowers added pretty swathes of colours to the scene. 

It was warm and the sun was strong, but the air felt fresh and crisp as well. 

I walked with light steps. 

Refrains from Maroon 5's "Memories" and Jason Mraz's "Live High" played continuously in my mind.

I was glad I got to see a koel up close. My first time ever.

Well, 2m up in a tree but it was still the closest I've ever been to a koel. 

Dark brown feathers speckled with lighter brown spots. 

Its eyes were reddish with a black iris. And they gleamed in the sun. 

I stood there watching for a few minutes before I bid it goodbye and continued with my walk. 

Saw a few puppies today as well. 3 of them. Really cute ones. 

A brown poodle, a black german shepherd looking puppy and a white one that looked like a maltipoo.

They happily smelt each other and interacted briefly before their owners led each of them away.

I wondered what the puppies said to each other. 

And if they felt sad they couldn't stay and play longer.  

I was glad I didn't meet any neighbour on my journey. 

I don't like being interrupted during my walks. 

It is my time away from others. A time to be with myself.

And if needed, a time to clear my mind of anything. 

Having to take my time away from my personal bubble to chat with someone else feels a little intrusive.

I was happy to see the willows keeping well and the papaya trees growing well too. 

Many of the bougainvillea shrubs were in full bloom. The pinwheel jasmines were flowering as usual. 

Was glad to greet my favourite clump of bamboo trees lining a pathway on my way back home. 

Me-time is nice.