of wishes & hopes

I used to have wishes, hopes, longings, desires and some expectations..
I still do now..to a lesser extent. Perhaps a much lesser extent.

Am wondering..Does it mean that I do not care as much nowadays? Or does it mean that I have realised that some things are just not meant to be wished for...even if I wish to touch the sky, I can only do so in my dreams..
Or perhaps I have come to realise that even if I wish for, hope for or even expect something, it might be just wishful thinking on my part..cos there are alot of things beyond the grasp of my control.

Do I care less? Or have I only just resigned myself to the way things are? The attitude of "whatever lah" is becoming more dominant.

Am not sure it was which point in time when I suddenly realised that hey, things which used to bother me previously (cos it was not what I'd hoped for or been expecting)...is now not really affecting me that much anymore.
Perhaps it was 2 months ago? 3 months? maybe 6 months back?

Things were moving along in the past 6 months especially in the last 2 months.
And then suddenly, it's at this point in time when I am wondering...errrr....what's next man? Am I standing on a different platform already? Is this in sync? Is this part of the plan?

I am speaking in riddles...some might think...duhh...much ado about nothing. Truth of the matter is that I am wondering about a certain thing in my life. Of what nature I am not inclined to reveal here though.

Perhaps the melancholia has risen again.

Krabi Pics

The Kayak Trip! Woohoo! This was already after about 1.5 hours? Haha, not bad eh? Still managed to smile haha...
He had a yellow paddle..I had a blue one..

Coming from the sea into the mangrove areas.


About 18 of us in the group, including our guide. Lots of all these small hills to pass through before we hit the mangrove areas.
It's better in these enclosed areas, lesser waves to battle with.


























This is the mangrove swamp area..Lotsa insects around..mozzies the size of flies..Lotsa weird sounds coming from the trees...Half the time you're wondering what's in the waters as well... And we had a troop of monkeys following our kayaks! haha.. Quite difficult to navigate through the meandering routes and the tree-roots made things worse.. cos they leave little room for your paddles.

Tired but happy!! Stopped at a small inlet along the beach for a 15 min rest after about 2.5 hours of paddling..
Lotsa sandflies on this small inlet alone..legs were a catastrophe after this small rest..itching like anything haha..

Went back to the mainland after this pic was taken..And the journey back was absolutley tiring...about a 20-25 min trip back...
We were battling waves & cursing at the tides haha...




























Our elephant trek! Right after the kayaking session...The one we're on is 42 years old and responds to the name Tut-Tut. Small little lady compared to some of the other bull elephants at the sanctuary..The trek was about an hour long...passed through some rubber plantations & a small part of the jungle area..before we headed back to the elephant camp. Our guide jumped off to help us take a quick pic before hopping back on again..yikes!! What if she ran amok or walked off on her own elsewhere???

















Cute little thing!! A baby boy, about 4 months old only and he's already my height...Really damn cute! haha....
And as you can tell from this pic, he simply loved smelling my foot! And he's smiling!! HAHA!!

Randomicity...

Signed our lives away on Thursday morning..
Got up early..trudged out way to HDB Hub...and he made me wait for 30 mins cos he was late....

Went into an office...and signed like almost 20 documents each...
There was a point in time I did'nt know what I was signing exactly..
Loan documents, lease-ing documents, sales documents, purchase documents, indemnity documents, CPF documents..blah blah blah.....
And so, it's an official deal now...

Bleah..For one who has always been financially free of debt...
The time has come...I have a few hundred K in loan liao...
Payments start from next month I think...

Aw man...buying a house in SG is expensive!!!! hahahahah

==========
Though it's 2 more years...
I find myself thinking of colour schemes & what kitchen apliances to get already haha...
Initial excitment? Perhaps...

Beige, brown, black...earth tones? Minimalist? Zen? Resort-style?
Lavendar, lilac, cream..pastel shades? Girlish? Cosy? Soothing?

We both agree on a rice-cooker. But he doesn't want a microwave..I want one though.
I want a small toaster too..but he doesn't as well...hmm mm...
He wants a huge plasma with a good sound system...ok, mutually agreed that that's his baby...and I'll have no say in those things hahhaa.....

oh well..2 more years..I have plenty of time to go day dream... haha...

==========
Renew
Recharge
Remotivate
Rejuvenate
Re-energise

Ok, moving along fine...though it's been a weird past 2 weeks when I've been feeling tired all the while...

==========
I feel like taking up something else. Hmm mm..
But at the moment. I don't have an idea of what exactly.

Furthering Malay?
Furthering yoga?
Reading up my GMAT book & doing the exercises in there?
Taking up some CMFAS courses or the finance grad-dip course at SMU & attempting to break into the banking industry?
Taking up some jewellery-making classes?
Buying a car? (Then again, don't think so..pockets are dry..)

Think I'll go have a nap now.
haha.....

C'est Shan. Elle est tres sympa.

Shan is a damn lively girl.. haha...one of those who makes my French class an interesting one...
Was chatting with her during the 20 minutes breaktime of yesterday's class...

Me: Eh, you had a late night yeaterday ah?
Shan: Har? How you know? Can tell ah? *puts hands up to face and pats on skin*
Me: Of course can tell. You were yawning all the while!!
Shan: *looks sheepish* haa, went on a date last night mah..went Villa Bali for drinks..went home around 3-plus!
Me: Wah really?? Tell me more...!!!

*zips forward to later part of conversation*

Shan: Yah lah, my colleague was saying it's the 3rd date already. He should be trying something hanky panky! But he didn't leh!! Dumbo only patted my head when I yawned. Aw man!! He didn;t try anything at all!
Me: Hhaha, maybe he respects you leh. Conservative decent guys are hard to find nowadays leh...
Shan: Yah man, damn conservative!!! I think next time, I need to have a qualifying question. "Are you okay with pre-marital sex?" Har answer is no?? Ok, get out of the line. Next please!!!!...
Me: *roars with laughter*

Saturday...

Went to watch "One Last Dance" last night at Vivocity.
Though it's a critically acclaimed movie. I have to say it doesn't appeal to me.
Less than halfway through the show, I was falling asleep.

The constant back and forth of different scenes cutting into each other was confusing.
The jarring acting of some of the characters in the show seemed quite amateur to me at times.

And maybe the fact that some of the scenes were shot in Singapore made it all the more surreal & unreal. How should I put it? It seemed like it was yet another Jack Neo movie brought to life on the screen.

I was trying my best to immerse myself in the show but got jolted back to reality when I realised that hey..errr....that's Francis Ng..driving along the streets near Clifford Pier.
Hey, that's Francis Ng walking along the streets near Clarke Quay.
Hey that's him AGAIN! Running along the Cavenagh Bridge...bleah...
It just spoils the show cos I cannot imagine such a plot happening in the streets of my hometown. Haahaa.

Why are all movies nominated for prestigious film awards all so arty farty and difficult to decipher?
Oh well...if you can't convince them, then confuse them...

=====
Okie...time for the next show....
Andy Lau's <>...

Woohoo!! With Louis Koo & Annie Yuen..

An interesting Friday...of sorts

Yesterday...hmm lemme see. T'was a night of highs, some lows & other interesting stuff haha...

1. I am yet again lagging behind in one of my projects. Which the boss has subsequently hinted to me. Via email & in person.
2. The 2 silly girls (aka Xingli & me) were out last night doing silly things together again..after so many years...we're still the best silly partners hha...the small head & the big head (me of course)..sipping tea at McCafe outside Lido..munching on Mos' fries..complaining about work, gossipping about others stuff...nice chillin session..made our way to St James after that.
3. Last night was the 1st time I saw a super red-faced Ah-Lim who was high and groggy haha
4. Last night was the 1st time (or was it the 2nd??) that I saw Jackson towering high & mighty on the dance platform..above all the other dancers at PowerHouse..hiakzz..
5. Last night was the 1st time ever I was on the dance platform haha..interesting feeling to tower over the others. But the feeling of falling anytime prompted me to scuttle back down soon after haha.
6. The bracelet that Ling & gang gave me for my birthday in 2004, is officially spoilt. Was typing away at my PC in the morning when it suddenly slipped off. Picked it up and realised that the clasp was broken. Sad. Been wearing it to work almost everyday since Oct 04. Lemme take a second look at it later. Maybe I can do something about it.
7. I lost my watch on the dancefloor. I think the clasp was loose & it came undone & just sliipped off my hand!! By the time I realised, it was nowhere to be found...A young boy (forgot his name..Zheqiang I think??) was walking around helping to look for it but it was in vain. Sigh..a X'mas gift from Uncle David a few years back. Double SAD! Been wearing this to work almost everyday too!! I went to work yesterday morning with both items intact on my left & right wrists...and came home with both wrists empty.... Bleah..
8. I met a Malay guy by the interesting name of Ahmad, who showed me that it was insanely humanly possible to treat whisky like water and use it to quench thirst. Kaozz..3/4 of a Chivas 12 yr in 15 mins. *shakes head*
9. I was called a "pussy" by Ahmad for not heeding his urges to down more glasses. On hindsight...technically I am right? If you know what I mean...hmm mm... haahhaaaa... =p
10. Chio bus really get alot of attention showered upon them in clubs. Circumstantial evidence was all around. Which prolly explains why the only main attention I got last night was from Jackson & Ling!! hiakzzz...hahahha
11. It is possible for a mother of 2 to still maintain her figure...and remain as hot as ever... haha...as shown by some of Kel's friends..*tsk tsk* spoil market...grrrrrrr....
12. Lim Seng couldn't recognise me!! AGAIN! It's the 3rd or 4th time he's asking others who I am!! He was wondering who I was till Kel told him.."That's Cai's gf lah..."
13. I was asked this question "Eh, where's Weiwen?" at least 4 times within an hour after my arrival at PowerHouse. Bleah haha. And when I shook my head and said I don't know where he is but he's not coming, I got incredulous looks for 4 times too. Coupled with the next question "Then how come you're here?"....Gosh, very weird meh? for me to go clubbing with my bf's friends without him being around??? hahaa...
14. I got kissed by a female stranger...when I was on the platform...errrrrrrrr......(???)

Woke up superbly early on Sunday morn & was at the Budget Terminal airport at 610am.
For our flight to Krabi...
The two of us...stoned & groggy...was having breakfast at Hans...
Didn't really take note of the time and for the 1st time in my life...
I was the last call passenger...and had to rum like a mad cow for my flight....in fact, just as we were running to the boarding gate...we saw a flight crew running out..trying to call for us....

Damn drama... ahha..but anyhow, we got there in one piece...I have to say that Tiger Airways is much more comfy than JetStar haha..

Krabi... hmm mm...a mini Phuket..nothing different...except that we wwere the minority there..
Kaozz..every where you turn, there's an Ang Moh there...
The whole beach was just sprawled with them!!! Some ladies were topless...(woot woot! haha..)

Ate alot over the 3 days there..
Went kayaking, elephant rekking...hehe..if yuo're wondering, it's me who dragged ahboy to do all these, not the other way... haha
Wanted to drag him for a rock-climbing session...but he refused!!! And I didn't wanna go alone haha...

The kayaking was great! Tiring cos we went out to sea & exciting cos we were in a mangrove swamp for most of the time...Infuriating too cos sometimes, it aint that easy to control the damn kayak! haha...

Went for massage sessions too...Got "murdered" by the lady on the 1st day...back, neck, shoulder massage..liews...Iron Thumb man.. ahha..
The foot massage on the last day was plesant & nice....dozed off in the chair haha...=))

Other than these activities...there really isn't much else to see over there...the stretch of shops can be covered in half a day too....

Still feeling the hangover effects from the trip.. ahha...
I dun wanna work no more!!!!!

my small achievement

It's a delayed reaction...cos I was on leave & I was too shacked out to remember yesterday...
But just now, I finally got a look at my ad which came out in the Straits Times on Tuesday.
News Page 4. Half page.
Nothing great in terms of aesthetics & branding. But given the short turn-around time.
I think it turned out wonderful...Sense of satisfaction is there...definitely..
Aw man. I've not felt that for a long time to come already...

From no response & no support from customers...to getting 14 customer logos in there..And some of them are big multi-global companies too...
Really have to thank John for his big help n getting some of the customers in...
Will call him tomorrow & share my joy ... haha

$13K...I think it's worth the splash.

I need to drop Joys & Joseph a courtesy tinkle tomorrow too. My designer & agency guy who were handling this ad for me...Rushed out the ad for me...I think this time round, we had a total of 15 changes within 2 days...
Mad rush..but woohoo!!!!!!!!!
IT TURNED OUT WELL!

Sad thing is this. So what if I think it turned out well.
Ain't get no recognition from the bosses. Not from my own direct boss even.

Il Divo

Il Divo was great pn Thursday night. The only bummer was that 70% of the crowd were inconsiderate fools who only turned up at the venue after 815pm. Tickets stated 8pm.
What the fuck? I was waiting for an hour...before the concert finally started at 845pm.

Carlos was great...his baritone voice literally sent shivers down my spine man...
David...as per what i thought...is the weakest one to sing live...
Sebby was cute...and he forgot his lyrics haha...
Urs was as usual...stiff & woodenly.. ahaha..

Lotsa rish Indonesian tai-tias...and lotsa ang mohs there...
Saw lotsa bling bling & lotsa LVs & Guccis....
Dressing wise...it was hilarious seeing what others wore...some were dressed in gowns and tuxs...
Others were in berms and jeans....
Some had hair done and had those sparkly dust on them...Some were dresed like they were just going to see a movie at the next door shopping mall...
From one spectrum to the other end...

Concert was a disappointing 1.5 hours only...

Ahboy came to pick me up...and we got stuck in a massive jam.. aha...lotsa cars...amongst themmMercs, Beemers, saw a Lamborghini...and some Ferraris...
Aw man...

And oh yah..I think I belong to the lower 20th percentile of the age group of the people at the concert.. haha....lotsa middle-aged people....

MUNDANE

It has been a blur of a week.
Been feeling tired everyday...and couldn't really sleep well at night too.

I don't quite know what to write..My reservoir of words and thoughts are drying up.
I used to be able to sit here and just cough up my emotions in here...
It's like as if I've lost the ability to really feel anything much these days.
Everything is just in a monotonous state...a plateau...I just go through with the motions..just go through with what comes by...not really thinking about things. Just moving along.

Simple emotions which I felt last time are kinda muted now.
I could get deliriously happy over a simple sms from him and deliriously mad if I don't get one from him when I think I'm supposed to.
These days...have, it's a bonus...don't have..sulk a little and move on.

Workwise..it's the same..Sure I still get pissed off over things but nowadays, it's with a "whatever lah" kind of attitude.
No use getting pissed..I just brush those thoughts aside and get moving along.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Both? I suppose it's a good thing that I try not to dwell on unhappy things..but it becomes a bad thing when I unknowingly downplay the happy aspects too...It's a good thing that I am trying to take things easy...but it becomes a bad thing when I end up just being in a trance like state and just going through the motions...

=========
My English sucks these days!!!
Where has all my English power gone to?? It's appalling to see myself sitting in front of the PC, trying to write an article...and what comes out is C-R-A-P...!!

Should I take Chloe's example and grab myself some English assessment books?
Haha....

bluey monday

Today...is not a good day.

Morning's performance appraisal...was quite a stringent one.
As bochup as I might be sometimes...I do care about what my boss thinks of me..
Oh well...

Afternoon...friggin waste of time..Glenny, you know what I mean..
And man oh man..cab fare wasted...

Afternoon..finally..someone has paid heed to my requests...that my laptop really is dying...
And well..I got a 17inch old monitor & CPU as a replacement...
Imagine changing from a 12.1 inch screen to a 17inch monitor...big big diff man.. ahha
Ok, shan't complain too much.
At least it's something to work with..:)

Evening..mood kinda spoilt..so was a sulking brat...
Was watching the finals of So You Think You Can DAnce?
Can't believe I teared when Benji won & shed his own tears haha...

Blue Blue Monday...shouldn't have worn blue today..added to the blueness..

Tmr shall be a Sunny Happy Tuesday..!
With Crystal Jade for dinner..:)
With Ahboy of cos.. haha
He's on morning shift these 2 weeks...

Sumiko Tan

Was reading an article of hers in today's Sunday Lifestyle...and realised that hey...it's exactly what relates to me...
Something which has bothered me alot at times..

Perhaps like what she says..I expect too much of others & myself...
And I rely too much on what others think of me and view me as...

The extract as follows:

=========

Mybe I've been disappointed too many times by too many people too often and am seeking comfort in cynicism.

Whatever the case, when I look back at my 20s and 30s, it does seem to be one endless period of seeking approval, striving to be nice and desiring to be loved and liked by the people I loved and liked.

Sometimes, the efforts were reciprocrated and I'dd be flying high.

But when they wern't. I'd beat myself up over it. What was it about me that they didn't like?
Was I not nice or understanding enough? ......

For too long, my happiness and sense of worth were tied to things beyond my control - how was I regarded, whether I was being thought aboyt, whether the phone would ring, whether I was considered worthy company for the weekend.

I need approval, my expectations of others were high, but I was setting myself up for disappointment.

Just because you want someone's life to reolve around yours doesn't neccessarily mean that he wants that too.

And even if he does, well, people are busy with their own lives too. You can't make another person fit your specifications and your demands just so you - and only you - can be happy.

And rather than behave in this unreasonable way, isn't it smarter to be more independent? To not have to deoend on others for validation?

The problem os - how does one go about making oneself happy, especially if like me, you don't particularly like your own company that much?

fragmented thoughts...

Specially for Purpleskies...aka Cherry...

hugzz & muackzz for this trying period of time...
there's a listening ear if you ever need one..

shelly

========
It's kinda morbid..
3 colleagues faced with news of close relatives passing away...
All within a week...

========
Counting down

to Il Divo...4 days' time
to Krabi...7 days' time

But first...sighzzz...
I need to clear....

ISO ad...mad mad mad rush...
Security EDM & database...
Security Ad in USE newsletter....mad mad rush...

Can I just whine to my boss and hope she helps me out???

=======
Performance Appraisal tomorrow morning.

Kaozz...the session's been postponed for about 3-4 times already..
And it's gonna happen right smack at 9am tmr morning..on a Monday somemore...

Bleah..I think she'll be late anyway...

=======
CNY coming...so fast...decorations of Xmas & snow and santa claus..
Have mostly given way to gharish looking red & pink flowers...or firecrackers..or caricatures of little gold or pink piglets...

Have you bought your new year clothes yet??
Haha...I settled mine since last December....woohoo!

But of course...the more the merrier.. haha

I-need-to-cut-hair...
getting extremely bushy & messy

my friday night

Dear God,

I promise..the next time I head out for a chilling session...I will not mix different types of alcohol together...

I have received the punishment...And yes, I will be a good girl next time...

Yours,
Michelle

=======
Ok, this time somach spoil..BIG TIME

Vomitted twice yesterday...was feeling super queasy during the 2nd half of my French lesson...
Teacher made jokes and I could only manage a weak smile...bleah...
Caught a cab back to Tampines after class..

Luckily Serene was heading back to Tampines also and managed to share cab with her...
My new found friend..from french class...2 yrs older...
Quite a nice girl...speaks with a bochup, lazy style...works in an advertising agency...small local start-up, not the big ones...

Managed to see a doc yesterday evening for some tablets to prevent more vomitting..

=( Had to cancel on ahboy for our dinner date...
Bleah...I've only seen him once this week!!

Feeling much better today..in fact much better last night already...
Slight slight diarrhoea..
Bleah..

A little bit of beer + a little champagne + a little vodka + a little whisky
=
BIG TIME stomach spoil....

========
Was at Ice Cold Beer with XL & Kym..Got there ard 9-plus and missed seeing a huge fight which broke out there just 30 minutes earlier...
Seemed that spanners & hammers were involved...whoa.. haha..

Coincidentally, they were heading to St James as weoll..
So the 3 of us tropped down there..in a cab of course..
The rain was a bummer...wet shoes & damp hair...
Tried to protect my little green bag too...(from ahboy so must protect.. haha)

Managed to get in for free at Bellini's..YAY! haha..Kym's sis was a member...
Went in an voila! Met Daniel there too.. haha....his last cheong session before he heads to OZ for his studies...

Moved to Power House subsequently..and then voila.. haha, met TP there after awhile...

Made new friends..overall a better experience than my previous time there..
Seems that company really matters hhaa...

zzzzz

Some idiot spent 30 minutes playing MP3s while I was on the train to work this morning..
So many people in this world who don't know basic courtesy
And the girl with him didn't stop him either...
Sheesh.

=======
Thursday...
Great..!!! One more day!!!

Celia went on sudden MC..and some of her stuff got piled onto me...
Plus there's new stuff that came up...
Busy time...

Trying my best not to get lost amidst the little bits n pieces of things here n there...
But.
I think I am losing grip liao..

=======
I have nothing on tmr!!!!!
But I want to booze a little and dance a little...
Hmm mm....

drowsy..with medication...

Went for 1st French class on Saturday..
Hmm...teacher seems to be a laidback kinda guy...unorthodox teaching methods...does not refer to textbook at all...
Talks more crao than he teaches....

Shit, hope I'm getting my $$'s worth!!!
Not cheap leh!!

=========
Wonder how much the Jan payout will be hmm mm.........

=========
Thursday dinner with the Lemon & Cherry has been confirmed....
Oh man...Brazil again???
hahahahaa....

=========
Krabi...here I come come come!!!!!!!
Woot woot!!
1st trip of the year....

I wanna go rock-climbing!!!
And I dun care if I get bruises or cuts on my shins & knees...

I wanna go rock-climbing!!!!
Shall go there with a small bag...filled with the bare neccessities...
Hope I can get some nice stuff there...
Though not a shopping paradise..but oh well..Thai stuff....are CHEAP!

time has flown by...

You know time has flown by when you're standing at a wedding reception counter
And finding familiar faces int he crowd but you cannot put a name to the face

You know time has flown by when you're sitting at a wedding table
And everyone is talking about marriage & getting flats and who has become a dad or mum

You know time has flown by when you're sipping wine with others at a wedding table
And you don;t run out of things to say cos everyone is so busy updating the rest on what they are doing

You know time has flown by when you're munching food at a wedding table..
And you realise with acute horror...that at least 7 years has gone by...since the last time you were screaming silly cheers during orientation with the others at the wedding table..

=========
Was at Peiying's wedding just now...
Kinda surprised she invited me...But was glad I was there anyhow..
Was at a table together with Kym, XL, Dennis, Pingwei, Shumin, Suzhen, Nigel, Kaiping & Zhipeng...

Wow, half of these people...are people whom I have not seen for more than a year...
I've not even met Nigel before...
And I've not even seen Zhipeng since he graduated..which is like 5-6years ago?

It was awkward at first...with some talking to those whom they knew better...
But old habits die hard...call it the hostel camaraderie or the hostel spirit...
Things warmed up pretty soon...and it was a nice little catch up session for all...

That's the nice thing about weddings...it doubles up as a gathering for friends who have not seen each other for the longest time possible...

Patrick...has grown thinner again..
Every single time I see him, he gets thinner!!!
He promised a meal sometime...but oh well.. haha...that was the same thing he said the last time I met him coincidentally on the streets....
Just glad to see that he's the same old guy-next door...albeit thinner...

Zhipeng...crappy guy.. haha...father of one liao...aw man...

Dennis...getting married in April...

Kaiping...wedding in July too..

Kym & XL? hehe..akan datang....woohoo...happy for them....=))

p/s: Kaiping whispered to me that I've grown thinner...and that my boobs have shrunk...kns...grrrrrr..............hahhaa...

on a wednesday night

Quite a few things happened in the 2nd half of last year..
Didn't realise it..
But somehow it affected me quite abit...
So much so that it's affected how I view people to people relationships...

My faith in people has grown considerably less...
Used to give people the benefit of the doubt last time..
Chose to believe that everybody is good and kind..even when I meet them for the first time..

As years go by, especially last year...
It has become...this is person is nice & friendly...
BUT hmm..I wonder what does he/she have up his/her sleeve??

Haha..aw man..this is not the way to go...
Will try to renew my faith in people...as what red biscuit says...
And oh yah..dun put too much friendship into work relationships..
Bah..oh well.....

==========
Re-new
Re-charge
Re-motivate
Re-energise
Re-juvenate

It has just grown from 4Rs to 5Rs.. haha...
May the year of the Fire Boar bring much luck to the Metal Monkey...

Should I have?

Was walking out of Tampines Mall..
When this 40-something year old plump woman ran up to me...sweating profusely...
Spoke to me in English..
"Please sister. Please!!"
"Can you give me $10!! I need it to feed my father..He's sick at home!!"
"Please!!"

She looked harmless enough..
But she was grabbing me tighly on my left arm..I couldn't get away..
Was half afraid that she would drag me somewhere and whack the living daylights out of me till I gave her some $$...

Then I did what most Singaporeans would do...
I smiled and shunned away..Shook my head a few times..
Said no, I don't think so...

After 2 or 3 head shakes...she got the idea..and moved onto someone else behind me...
Don't know if that person gave her any or not..
But on hindsight...am not sure if I did the right thing...
Guess I'll never know whether she was genuine or not...

lil mozzie shell

I am like a little mosquito today...
Floating around in office doing nothing much..
Flying from cube to cube...buzzing around asking for chats & disturbing others...

Occassionally flying back to my own cube and typing some stuff....
*Buzz Buzz Buzz*

========
Just got news of some colleagues leaving...

When will it be my turn??? AHHHH!!!!

========
Didn't sleep well last night....In fact, couldn't sleep...
Was tossing till 2-plus...Weird thoughts floating in and outta my head...
Can't remember much of them now...
Though I remember thinking about a possible CNY hamper to make for ahboy's family...
Hmm mm....

Sibei stoned today...
Long way more till 6pm..

Better enjoy these 2 days of freedom when the boss is on leave.....

Hope to go for lunch soon..
Not very hungry...not sure what to munch on..
Hmm mm...sick of this area liao..

nut-shell

The propensity to smile has grown smaller
The elasticity of patience and tolerance has grown smaller

The marginality of pessimism has grown bigger
The probability of confusion and solitude has grown bigger

Another night of dreams

I found myself in a hotel room..quite a spacious area...
Ally, PQ & TH were there too...and I realised..hey, we're on a trip together!
Gosh..but where?
Then I saw the hotel welcome booklet on the dressing table..
"Welcome to Nevada Springs" the booklet said...what the fish?
We're in Nevada??

Unpacked our stuff and headed out for dinner..It was only 5-plus in the evening I remember..the sun was setting..
We were walking around the streets near the hotel..
Met the host of Survivor along the way...can't remember his name..
I remember going up to him to say hi but he just stared at me and walked off..
He was handsome..in an old way haha...

Finally found a stretch of restaurants which looked promising..
They settled on a restaurant..I was just a follower and went in with them...
Restaurant was like our Fish & Co. Except it was called Fish in Nevada.
Never knew I could be so innovative in my dreams...

Anyway, went in and realised the place was chockful of Asian tourists..
And mainly Singaporeans cos they were all speaking in Singlish!
And then voila...I recognised a high-pitched voice...
Natalie was sitting at a table with her SG friends...she was touring the area too...

I remember thinking..Natalie Kwan??
OMG. I've not seen her for like close to 5 years and now I meet her in Nevada???
I went over to say hi to her...and she pointed to another table...
"Marc Ling's over there too!" she said...

I look over and there really is Marc Ling.
Kaozz...another guy whom I've not seen for almost 5 years...

So I pop over to say hi to him too and then when I am walking back to my own table...
I see Glenn sitting at another table with his guy friend...a Hispanic who looked gorgeous.. haha
Went over to say hi to Glenn and he started recommending me all sorts of nice dishes on the menu...

Bizarre...the dream suddenly ended there...

Little Red House

Dinner last night was great...
It could have been fantastic!! If not for the company.. ahha...

Nah, nothing bad about the company...
Just that it was the 1st time I was meeting ahboy's granny..& 4th uncle & auntie...
And um...there were a few times when granny was just staring at me openly...
Kinda unnerving haha...

We were at this place called Little Red House...in the seafood centre area of East Coast Park.
Near the No Signboards & the Jumbos & the Long Beach Seafoods...

Super high-cholesterol dinner...Lemme recap what was on the menu...try to imagine that all were large portions...

1. Fish Hor Fun
2. Seafood Ee-mee
3. Kailan in Oyster Sauce
4. Deep-friend Baby Sotong (super crunchy)
5. Deep-fried You-tiao with Fishcake
6. Steamed Crab
7. Chilli Crab
8. Broiled Toufu with Dried Scallop Sauce
9. Roast Chicken

Nice dinner..
But oh-so-sinful haha....
Woke up with no appetitie for lunch... haha

goodbye, hello

Was driving around town yesterday..
The both of us..
Wondering what to do & where to go..
On the last day of 2006.

Drove past St James..or rather tried to drive past St James to see how's the crowd there...
Did not get anywhere really near it...cos the traffic was kinda heavy..
Lines of vehicles were queueing to get into the area..

And so off we went..To Partyworld at Shenton Way...
Wanted to do a boring lonely 2 pax K-session...
But he didn't seem to keen & anyway, the place was darn full...

And so off we went again...down the ECP..where hordes of peope were standing by the sides of the expressway...
Waiting to see the fireworks...

And then we found ourselves...in East Coast Park..the 2nd time of the night...
Parked in the central area...and then loitered around..
2 lonely souls..with each other for company..feeling lost amogst the crowds...

We walked and walked...
And then we found ouselves at the bowling alley...
But the queue for the lanes was amazing...amazingly loooong..
And so off we went again...

Then voila...we wandered into a small arcade...and parked ourselves there...
Haha...a courting couple...
Amongst the teeny-boppers, the bengs & lians, and some parents minding their little uns.

And so 2007 came by...

Whilst we were clasping machine guns in our hands...
Shooting & blasting at villians & robbers escaping in helicopters...
Screaming & cursing at the bad boys that got away...

Quite symbolic actually...come to think of it.
2007..the year that we will blast our worries away!!
The year that we will blast all villians away!!
The year that we will blast away all obstacles and have a smooth-sailing year ahead!!
MUAHAHAHHA....*evil laughter*

2007

!st day of 2007.

The year that I turn 27.
The year that might see me in a different job.
The year that might see me saving more money cos I might be earning more!! haa...

The year that might see me conversing confidently in French.
The year that might see me being more flexible cos of yoga!!
The year that might see me being a confident bugger on the roads..

The year that I hope to be less wary of new people I get to know.
The year that I hope to judge less.
The year that I hope my heart will be more open.

=========
2006.
The year that...

- I turned 26. Spending my birthday in Taiwan.
- I went out of the country on at leat 5 trips!
- I had my 1st plane trip after 3 years!

- I renewed my relationships with some of my closest friends..
- I tried hard to get somewhere in my job..(but perhaps got nowhere in particular)
- I got drunk & high on a few occassions

- I finished a Malay course
- I embarked on yoga
- I got schooled in ISO auditing techniques?! haa..

- I had a minor op on my throat
- I fell sick too many a time..
- I was running regularly for a few months but stopped cos I got lazy

- I discovered what hypocrisy means
- I discovered the vulnerability of the human soul
- I discovered that I have become a wary, less open person.

- I got an asset to my name..
- I attended at least 8 weddings
- I finally have a better idea where we are hading to

- I got closer to Dasao
- I lost weight
- I am eating more healthily

So much more..
But there will be more to come this year.