of wishes & hopes

I used to have wishes, hopes, longings, desires and some expectations..
I still do now..to a lesser extent. Perhaps a much lesser extent.

Am wondering..Does it mean that I do not care as much nowadays? Or does it mean that I have realised that some things are just not meant to be wished for...even if I wish to touch the sky, I can only do so in my dreams..
Or perhaps I have come to realise that even if I wish for, hope for or even expect something, it might be just wishful thinking on my part..cos there are alot of things beyond the grasp of my control.

Do I care less? Or have I only just resigned myself to the way things are? The attitude of "whatever lah" is becoming more dominant.

Am not sure it was which point in time when I suddenly realised that hey, things which used to bother me previously (cos it was not what I'd hoped for or been expecting)...is now not really affecting me that much anymore.
Perhaps it was 2 months ago? 3 months? maybe 6 months back?

Things were moving along in the past 6 months especially in the last 2 months.
And then suddenly, it's at this point in time when I am wondering...errrr....what's next man? Am I standing on a different platform already? Is this in sync? Is this part of the plan?

I am speaking in riddles...some might think...duhh...much ado about nothing. Truth of the matter is that I am wondering about a certain thing in my life. Of what nature I am not inclined to reveal here though.

Perhaps the melancholia has risen again.