Conversations with a 3-years-1-month-old

We were at my parents'. I was feeding her dinner and she had gotten hold of a piece of wet tissue. She was wiping her face and mouth vigorously. Wipe wipe wipe.....

Me: Nadya! Why are you wiping so much? You are squeaky clean already!
N: No!! I am not squeaky clean. I am Princess Elsa!!

K and I looked at each other and couldn't stop laughing...Lol...
She thought "squeaky clean" was a name we gave her.... :D

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We were going out soon. As usual, I was chasing her around trying to get her to wear her shorts. (She's usually clad only in diapers or undies at home)

Me: Nadya! Time to change, otherwise you're staying home.
N: No. WAIT. *gives a hand gesture to signal wait*
N: You wait. One minute. I need to change diaper for Baby first. (Baby is her pink colour Winnie the Pooh soft toy).
N: Ok? You wait ah. You wait. *gives a cursory nod of her head*

zzzzzzzzzzz.......can't decide if she is starting to be auntified or is simply a 小霸道...

GWS Peanut....

Get well soon my sweet baby...

Peanut woke this morning with her rash in a worser condition than yesterday evening. Red splotches covered her face and she looked so forlorn my heart was aching considerably. Angry red spots are on her body and now it has spread to her arms and legs as well, though in a lesser quantity and redness on her limbs.

She's been crying inconsolably since Saturday and has been extremely cranky. The rashes appeared just after her high fever broke and went on a downward trend. All symptoms of roseola.

While Little Baby had it last time as well, I think she was older at the time and thus had a stronger constitution and her symptoms weren't as bad as Peanut's now.

Peanut missed school last Thursday and Friday and will be sitting out of school today as well. She had wanted me to carry her this morning but I could only do so for a short while....she clung on to me and grabbed my dress when the time came for me to pass her on to the helper. :(

I'm sorry sayang...Mama has to go to work...:(

The helper stood with her at the door when we stepped into the lift. When the lift door was closing, I frantically waved goodbye to her...she only had a sad forlorn expression on her face and didn't wave back...:(

:((((((((((((((
It's always upsetting when you have to leave your baby in such a manner...and when you can't be with her when she wants you...

Get well soon my sweet baby...

Lil' Miss Sunshine

....is not so sunshiney these few days.....:(

She's been running a fever since Wednesday night and has been rather cranky. Her appetite's gotten quite poor too. 

I hope the fever breaks soon and that she gets well soon too. 

Jiayou and stay strong Peanut! 

Fight the germs!

Work

There was a 2-week lull period where I had minimal work. 

And now, when it comes...it is a mini avalanche. Ack and piling up...

Why so sudden one?!

*pant pant* 

Lol...

The LaoBu

Accompanied her to a doctor's appointment last week.

With her and my powers combined, I think we asked enough questions to get a relatively adequate understanding of the procedure and the processes that she would have to navigate for this darn kidney tumour that she's got.

The LaoBeh just kinda sat there and tried to take it all in haha.

So well, a robotic surgery has been scheduled for early Jan 2017. I'll probably need to take leave for those few days.

The doc said it's an 80-90% chance of the tumour being malignant and if so, the LaoBu would likely need to be on lifelong follow-up with the hospital. Of course, there's still a 10-20% chance of it being benign and she would then just need only 2-3 follow-up sessions thereafter before being discharged.

Knowing her, she's probably frantically planning out and trying to settle all her CNY angpows and Xmas gifts and major household chores/errands within these few weeks.

Sandwich - taking care of and worrying about kids on one side and taking care of and worrying about parents on the other side.

Dear Lord, please keep her in your arms and keep her safe.

For posterity.

Just taken. On the morning of my birthday. For posterity.

Wih bed hair.

And sans makeup and in specs, as you can see with my almost nonexistent brows and smaller eyes. 

36 years young. :)

But face looks quite shack already. :( 3 years of interrupted sleep and counting. 

Ribbon roses hairties!

All I wanted was a very quiet day at home on my birthday. I settled some chores and cleared some work emails. 

 

I was supposed to be drawing but ended up crafting instead. 

What started out as a simple experiment to try out a hack for making ribbon roses and I ended up making 6 roses. 

Which led me to bunching them up in groups of 3....

Which led me to making hair ties instead. 

That's what I like about crafting. One thing leads to another. You start out with a simple premise and more often than not, end up with something different and more brilliant than what you originally intended. 

Will probably end up giving one each to each of the girls. But I like it a lot myself hahaha...

生日快乐

Voila...Happy 36th to me! 

Here's wishing myself more calm, more peace, continued happiness and good health and many more wonderful years/decades ahead!

Huat ah! 

36

Turning 36 in a couple of days.
4 to be exact.

Some say age is only but a number.
It's more important what you feel inside and what you make of things.

Well....I don't feel 36. Most days I feel younger.
Is that supposed to be a good thing? Lol.

Of course, it certainly made my day having had the new temp girl (who is 12 years my junior) tell me that I don't look 36, nor do I look like a mum of two kids.

:D

Losing my shit

I lost my temper several times last night and once this morning as well.

N refused to go to bed last night and had myriad requests.

I want milk. I want water. I want light sticks. I want to read a book first. I want to pee pee. I want to drink honey. I want the aircon on. I want my princess cape. I want to see Uncle Eugene's house (my neighbour whose balcony faces mine). I want this......I want that.......I want I want I want.

I raised my voice several times towards the end. I was frustrated and impatient already.
Having both a headache and a lower backache didn't help the situation. Having my menses arrive in the middle of it all added to my exasperation and irritability.

She finally slept but woke up an hour plus later again.
She was irritable, crying and kicking. Nothing I did was right. I couldn't even touch her without getting kicked or my hand slapped away. Nothing I said was right.

I lost it and shouted at her several times.It was the only way I could get her to hear/listen to me over the din she was making.

This morning she woke and immediately went into the same whiny, cranky, kicking, screaming mode. I lost it again and raised my voice once. Not good to start the morning this way, I told myself. Managed to control myself after that.



I'm sorry sayang.
Mummy will strive to be a better mummy ok...? :(

Sigh.

BIrthdays are special

Especially so when you're a kid and cakes are hard to come by haha.

Let's see....Nadya has celebrated her birthday a good 3 times! Just nice...3 separate celebrations for her 3rd birthday!

I hope Alyssa enjoyed herself too with all the fuss and cake-cutting and singing of songs haha...
She doesn't seem to like cake though. She has spit out every single bite of cake I've tried to give her. Vanilla, rainbow, chocolate-flavour.....all rejected by her....Maybe she's not a sweet-toothed girl. :)
Good!

Drawing

Currently working on a piece that is taking quite long to finish up. 

Partly because there are many details, partly because I'm squeezing my brain cells for more creativity, partly because I can't find the chance to sit down and draw...

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Just bought a new thick black ink pen from Pilot. Looking forward to drawing on canvas soon. 

Need to try drawing on new mediums....can't wait!

But oh ya, need to wait for some inspiration first lol. 

When

When work is but some means to put food on the table and a roof over your head

When work is not totally off-putting

When work puts you in touch with good friends

When work has become rather familiar to you (though not necessarily likeable) 

When you can't see a better patch of grass to set up tent on

When you are afraid of disturbing the clockwork routine and time schedules established over the years

When pull and push factors are simply not compelling enough

When 9 fruitful and life-changing years has been spent in one place 

...

...

I guess

You stay on

The 2 girls

I hope they form a deep bond in time to come. I hope they will always have each other's backs and take care of each other next time. 

My firstborn

There are times when she seems older than just 3. 

Conversations with a 3-year-old

Nadya usually sits next to me or somewhere near me on weekday mornings when I am putting on makeup.

The other day.
She took my blusher brush, opened my eyeshadow and started applying the brush onto the eyeshadow palette.

Me: Nadya, no! Please stop!
N: No...I want...
Me: I will look like a funny little clown if you continue doing that!
N: But I want Mama to look like a funny little clown....
Me: -_-'''

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N: Chian Dao Shee Tow Poo!!
Me: Huh??
N: Chian Dao Shee Tow Poo!!
N: *starts doing the scissors, paper, stone action*

Me: Oh. It's "Jian Dao Shi Tou Bu".
Me: The last word is Bu ok. Not Poo.

N: Poo!! Chian Dao Shee Tow Pooooooo!! Poooo!!!

Me: -_-'''

Introversion and Motherhood

Not sure how other introvert mothers handle it haha.

I get overwhelmed by the noise sometimes. I even get abit overwhelmed by my own nagging of the older girl.

We were all in the car that day. I think we were going to my parents' place.

Nadya was singing her head off, rather loudly. Some children's songs were running on the stereo. Alyssa was screeching from time to time, gurgling and squealing, you name it. The helper was imploring the 2 girls not to fight in the backseat (i.e. don't pull, don't hit, don't scratch, don't smack, don't this and that). The helper was also asking Alyssa not to be so squirmy.

And K and I were also trying to have a conversation going. Only to be constantly interrupted by Nadya's shouts of "Quiet! I said no talking! Quiet!". She was mimicking her school teachers I think.

My ears were ringing towards the end of the car ride...

And I could feel the onset of a headache....

Gosh...

Work project....from the days of 2012

It's official!

My looooooong-drawn 4-year-old project is finally closed!

I can draw the curtains on it...

Like FINALLY!!!

Wheeeeeee!!! :)