Sometimes, I wonder if I am just a doormat who goes along with anything and everything. Unless it’s something illegal or goes against my conscience or morals.
这是太随和还是没主见还是累了?
Monday, September 30, 2024
Friday, September 27, 2024
24 September 2024
Alyssa turned 9 on 24 September 2024! It was a Tuesday.
The littlest of our family is now almost a decade old. Time flies.
She is still as cheery, compassionate, emphathetic and affectionate as before.
Though she had more breakdowns this year and tantrums as schoolwork gets more difficult. She gets upset when she can't solve a Math sum and then gets stuck in a whirlwind of frustration & unhappy thoughts , and can't get out of it.
She is helpful and willing to handle her chores or help out where needed. Unless I disrupt her reading of an interesting book lol.
She asked for a simple meal at Astons on Sunday evening. And a trip to Decathlon so that she & her sister could run amok there and try on skates, play with balls, check out other stuff, etc.
Stay healthy and happy little one. I'm glad you made more friends this year, both within your class and in your gymnastics class too.
Stay focused and keep going! Dada, Mama & Jiejie love you!
Reminder to Self
When you fixate on something, it becomes your reality.
Take that first step. Just do it. Get started. Just keep swimming.
Don't let whatever was clinically diagnosed hold you back, box you in or constrain your thoughts, behaviours and actions.
Try try try. And then try somemore.
Wednesday, September 25, 2024
Wake Me Up When September Ends
2 cremation services in as many weeks...
September 2024 has been a strange month.
人生不如意事十有八九....笑着带过吧...this too shall pass
20 September 2024
Received news of Ah Dioh's situation on 18 Sept. He was gravely ill and warded at CGH. I visited him and spent more than an hour there that same evening. I wasn't sure if his mind could register anything as he was already in a somewhat unresponsive state. But I still greeted him and said my hellos. Much of that hour was spent supporting & comforting my aunt (his wife), and chatting with my cousin (his daughter).
I'm glad I rushed over that day and managed to see him.
He passed away early on 20 Sept.
I attended the wake on 20 Sept evening, and was also present at his cremation service on 22 Sept Sunday evening.
And just like that....in a jiffy...he went from hospital bed to coffin and then the incinerator in less than a week...Things end quite swiftly sometimes.
He battled bladder cancer for 3 years and had several operations over this period of time. He was quite resilient and still had a good appetite. His mind was good and was very lucid when we visited him during CNY earlier this year.
Rest in peace Ah Dioh. I hope you're happily reunited with all your siblings in heaven..
Rest in Peace
Haven’t really had the chance to organise my thoughts or pen things down. Myriad emotions since MIL’s passing exactly 3 weeks ago.
On one hand, I am glad she is no longer suffering. Being unable to eat, or taste much took a toll on her mind and body, given the foodie that she was.
The other part of me, the selfish part of me I guess, feels the loss of a steady presence (& glue) on that side of the family. One who was always there and looking after the family in her own ways. One who was the more practical & level-headed half, watching out for FIL, whether he knew it or not. One who was doting on the grandkids, yet also tried to impart key values and life habits to them, and emphasised the value of education and female independence.
Thank you Mum....
- for looking after the girls, for teaching them English & Chinese since they were young, for developing your own flashcards & guiding them to read & write, for sewing pajama pants and cute skirts for them since they were toddlers, for bringing them out to town or even to the zoo and bring them on MRT rides and bus trips, for showing them girl power
- for running around doing groceries and buying snacks or cakes or fruits or special food items, for making our favourite foods, for planning out all family meals during special occasions like CNY and Xmas, and for always remembering to create a non-herbal and non-seafood version for me for these meals if needed
- for offering to help whenever you thought we might need some assistance
- for showing us what being steadfast and staying true to your values and principles is like
- for just being there.....
Rest in peace...
Wednesday, September 18, 2024
17 September 2024 - 17th work anniversary
I joined the organisation on 17 September 2007.
Voila. It's been 17 years.
I'm more or less still holding the same role, with a highly expanded scope, and my own team now.
I guess I've grown with this place. It's witnessed many milestones in my adult life.
In these 17 years.....I went through a hurtful breakup and had to give up a flat I balloted for. I got to travel alot and sometimes to "exotic" places. I met K and we eventually got married. The girls came along. Granny passed away 6 months after N was born. A never got to see her. K & I got our own place. We also got our first car & second cars. I hired my first helper ever. I got clinically diagnosed with anxiety. I got promoted 3 times......amongst other things.
I am thankful for the good bosses I've had, and good teammates. Thankful too for some friendships formed over the years with colleagues, and ex-colleagues.
Wednesday 4 September 2024
MIL passed away.
While the eventuality was expected given the illness, it still hits hard when it happens.
FIL & SIL called K & I at 230am. My phone was on silent mode and I slept through the calls till K woke me up to inform me he was heading to the hospital. I stayed back as the girls were still sleeping. But I couldn’t get back to sleep and was on standby mode, thoughts running through my tired mind.
K finally texted me at 4:58am to let me know she had passed.
The wake was held over the next 3 days, with the cremation ceremony on 6 Sept evening, and scattering of ashes on 9 Sept morning.
In a way, I am glad that her suffering was not too prolonged.
Rest in peace Mum. I hope you're having a fun reunion with Ah-Gu and your parents.
Monday, September 16, 2024
Unstoppable
Unstoppable - Sia
All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town
I'll do it 'til the sun goes downAnd all through the nighttimeOh, yeahOh, yeah, I'll tell you what you wanna hearLeave my sunglasses on while I shed a tearIt's never the right timeYeah, yeah
I put my armor on, show you how strong I amI put my armor on, I'll show you that I am
I'm unstoppableI'm a Porsche with no brakesI'm invincibleYeah, I win every single gameI'm so powerfulI don't need batteries to playI'm so confidentYeah, I'm unstoppable today
Unstoppable todayUnstoppable todayUnstoppable todayI'm unstoppable today
Break down, only alone I will cry out loudYou'll never see what's hiding outHiding out deep downYeah, yeahI know, I've heard that to let your feelings showIs the only way to make friendships growBut I'm too afraid nowYeah, yeah
I put my armor on, show you how strong I amI put my armor on, I'll show you that I am
I'm unstoppableI'm a Porsche with no brakesI'm invincibleYeah, I win every single gameI'm so powerfulI don't need batteries to playI'm so confidentYeah, I'm unstoppable today
Unstoppable todayUnstoppable todayUnstoppable todayI'm unstoppable todayUnstoppable todayUnstoppable todayUnstoppable todayI'm unstoppable today
I put my armor on, show you how strong I amI put my armor on, I'll show you that I am
I'm unstoppable
I'm a Porsche with no brakesI'm invincibleYeah, I win every single gameI'm so powerfulI don't need batteries to playI'm so confidentYeah, I'm unstoppable today
Unstoppable todayUnstoppable todayUnstoppable todayI'm unstoppable todayUnstoppable todayUnstoppable todayUnstoppable todayI'm unstoppable today
============
Summing things up? I dunno...
But anyway, the other day, K & I were debating what word it was (old liao both of us forgot lol)...
I said it was "Impossible"...he said it was "Unbreakable"...
The girls overheard....rolled their eyes and said..."Unstoppable lah!!!"
Lol lol lol....
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