Word games & puzzles...
Me like but...
Staring at the phone too long
Makes my eyes hurt
Staring at the PC monitor too long
Makes my eyes hurt too
Paper based ones don't have that level of complexity
Or the level of instant gratification
So...what gives?
A mix of both maybe...
Jan, Feb and even early March was madness
I am thankful things have settled down abit more and there is some room to breathe.
But I find myself still rattled and not at peace. Slightly irritable, emotional.
Unsure why.
Hormones? Mid-life existential crisis? Perimenopause? Menopause?
N & I had a talk a couple of nights ago. I can’t recall how it started and everything.
But we touched on some of her frustrations and big feelings. How she feels we all love A more and think A is better, how A always gets away with things, how when N & A are being rowdy but N is the one who gets the scolding…and then it morphed into other issues like how K is too strict, and how I am too grouchy/grumpy at times, and how she misses our own space at Blu-Coral, etc…
I apologized and shared with her that I am still learning as a mother. I may not be right all the time and I have my own failings. But I’m trying and will keep trying to improve myself as well. I did share that it was sometimes very difficult to talk to her especially when she was having an “attitude”, and how it made me feel a little sad when she snapped at me or didn’t want anything to do with me. I spoke of how I felt her attitude toward me had a big shift in 2023. From having had a 免死金牌 from her…to me being somewhat like a baddie
I guess being abit more open with each other helps?
As the kids grow, and
I get older (and more grumpy), I guess it’s a constant effort having to adjust
to how to interact with them…
Just thankful that they are still open to sharing things with me...
Jotting down for vanity reasons.
I was at Parkway Parade on a Saturday a few weeks ago, seated on a bench within the mall, waiting for K to walk over from Eastgate building.
I started doodling while listening to nice Chinese pop songs blasting from a nearby gelato shop. I was pretty immersed in what I was doing. Head bent down, right hand doodling, left hand bopping to the music.
I'd briefly had the impression of 2 girls getting up from the bench on my right, and then moving away.
Suddenly one of them stopped in front of me and said "I love your art!"
I looked up. It was a teenage Indian girl who spoke with a non-local, non-Indian accent. Can't place where she came from. I smiled and thanked her and she walked away with her younger sister. I applaud her courage though. At that age of 13/14/15, I'd not have the courage to tell a random stranger this...:)
Made my day!
Staff took long to come up with an SOP. Late for some months. I cut her some slack on this.
Quality of the SOP is not there. I gave pointers on how to improve 1st draft and formatting which sucked.
2nd draft came back. Formatting still sucks. certain paragraphs don't flow and don't make sense.
Taking deep breaths.
A has a journal that she sometimes writes in. She named the journal “Kitty”.
While looking through
her P5 English file a few days ago as her teacher asked for parents to sign some worksheets. I came across a small paragraph she wrote,
where she shared about having Kitty and why she had Kitty.
“Sometimes I feel down and want to talk to my mother but she is at work, so I write in Kitty instead.”
☹☹☹
After all these years, I still feel unbalanced quite often. At work think about family. At home think about work.
Wherefore doth time's fleet passage hasten so, slipping through mine fingers like sand through an hourglass, ne'er to be reclaimed?
We're into March already.
Even Nadya's WA1 is over.
The March school holidays are coming soon too.
Too fast.....
And after years of resisting.
I am now...officially subscribed to Viu.
Lol...got it from the 3/3 sale over their official Shopee store.
Voila......no more annoying ads to test my patience...!
Jie is probably going up Kilimanjaro now.
I wish for a safe climb up & an equally safe descent for her. May the weather & terrain be good & smooth throughout the 8-10days.
Jiayou Jie!
When we were still at BluCoral, after we sent the helper away, I'd spend my Sunday mornings going for a walk, and then settling down to iron the entire week's worth of work clothes & uniforms. Or I'd be doing some cleaning & dusting around the house.
And while doing chores or ironing, my Chinese music playlist would be playing in the background.
I don't think I did that ever since we shifted.
It'd been a year and 3 months since we shifted. I'd forgotten how it felt...till this morning when I played that playlist again, while pottering around my room & the girls' room to wipe window grilles, surfaces, hidden corners, etc. and pack some stuff.
It felt emotional yet rejuvenating at the same time. :)
Jay Chou, Stephanie Sun, Jacky Cheung, David Tao, MayDay, Jolin Tsai, Tanya Chua, Amei, etc... Thank you for accompanying me this morning!! Brought back lots of memories from 20+yrs ago too! Lol...
