Pre-Requisites of a Project Manager

1. Control Freak.
2. Micro-Manager.
3. Not Trusting.
4. Highly Assertive.
5. All of the Above.

Holly Jolly Christmas Presents

I received some presents this year that I'd never ever gotten before lol. Some notable ones include...

1. A Rowenta hairdryer. 2000W salon grade. The box had "Elite Model Look" stamped on it lol.
2. A nightie. A purple one with a satin-like finish. I think K liked this too hahaha.
3. A New Balance runner's singlet. Pity it was an M-size. Quite baggy on me but I loved the colour.
4. A mini book about 5cm long, 4cm wide and maybe 2.5cm thick. Many many nice quotes about wisdom within it.
5. A customised notebook/diary cover with my name stitched onto it. This was cool...

Other stuff included:

• Chocolates
• Notebooks
• A tote bag
• A 2013 calendar
• Pens
• A luggage tag. Neon pink with the words "Not Your Bag!"
• Concealer...
• Capitaland vouchers
• Tea from TWG

That's quite a long list! lol....
I still have Ally's present which I've not collected from PQ's place yet....:)

The Year End

At times, I still feel like a teenager. Gawky, awkward, not confident, uncomfortable, on the fringe and left out.

The year end never fails to bring me over to the "emo" end of the spectrum.

Have a Cuppa!

This year, I made open terrariums for Ally and PQ for Xmas. I've never given out "living things" before so this was a first. (Plants ARE living things right?)

Here are some pics for posterity. Forgot to take the pic after I had put some white lace detailing along the rim of the cups. The cups look plain in these pics haha. The pink cup was naturally for Ally. :)

One Day In Office

It was 630pm. I was tired and wanted to go home early. So I packed up and left. Walked past my boss' room on my way out.

Me: 老板, bye *waves goodbye*
Boss: Ooi!! How come leave so early?!?! *pretends to stare at watch*
Boss: Alamak why you leave before me?!?!
Me: *rolls eyes* Excuse me hello! My official working hours are till 6pm leh. Then last night I left at 7-plus almost 8pm leh. Wah Lau.
Boss: *guffaws*  kidding lah alamak...go home lah go home lah. *beams at me*
Me: Hahaha okok bye! You don't stay too late ok. 再见!!

A colleague from another department witnessed this and told me he was amazed I could speak in such a light-hearted and candid manner to my boss. My 62 yr-old old-timer boss who used to have a reputation of being one of the most rude, grumpy and bad-assed boss when he was heading another department. He would call his staff into his office and scream at them when he felt they did something wrong.

That colleague was surprised that I was talking to my boss like as if he was an equal. And that my boss could be so open and fun when talking to me.

Time mellows a person I guess.

Or maybe I am just too lovable. :) Muahahahhaa.

Lapse

I had a great morning, a nice afternoon and a nice dinner with K's family. But things got to me after dinner and the emotional side of me took over.

It was quiet. I was alone. And I found myself crying in the middle of the study room where I was wrapping up a teddy bear I'd bought for Granny for Christmas.

I was thinking of her and then other thoughts came. I guess I was overwhelmed. 

Inadequacies. Frustration. Helplessness. Self-doubt. Realisation. Fear. Weakness.

When you start holding things in, they accumulate after awhile. When they accumulate, they might overflow.

client vs agent

Between client-side and agency-side, I think I'll always choose client-side and I'll advise others to do so as well.

You might learn more on the agency-side but in return you'll get far greater amounts of shit heaped onto you.

I don't have the patience, humbleness and strength to be on the agency-side.

Janus - Boyfriend

I don't usually follow Kpop but I happened to switch to Channel V 2 days ago and they were showing some Kpop videos. This MV popped up and I actually loved the song! Lol. I've been playing this song the whole day today. :)

Enjoy the song.

Janus by the new group Boyfriend.

I hope this is not the start of my conversion to Kpop. *horrors*

P/S: These boys look like they're barely out of their teens. Wonder how old they are...hmm. Maybe I'll google them later.

Open Letter

Come back soon sayang...Miss you.
It's getting colder here in Singapore and it's raining everyday. I want my hugs!! Lol. :)

Strange but Awesome

I've never experienced this before. I was on the bus home after work.

There was a Korean mum with 2 children, a boy and a girl. Both were 7 to 8 years old. I knew they were Korean because they were speaking in their native language. The kids, being kids, were being rowdy and were chatting loudly in Korean.

And then suddenly I heard this:

Girl: Give me.
Boy: No. Dun wan.
Girl: Why you dun want to give me leh?
Boy: Because I dun wan to lor.
Girl: Please? Oma (mum in Korean), he dun wan to give me.
Mum: *says something in Korean*
Boy: *to his sister* Aiyah you are very irritating.

It was downright surreal. The two Korean kids were conversing in fluent Singlish.

If I were looking at them or if they weren't speaking Korean in the beginning, I would have thought they were some local kids. Maybe these two have spent most of their young lives growing up in Singapore. They're probably studying in a local school as well because they spoke English with a Singaporean accent. Lol.

Losing steam

Another rejection from an important potential sponsor. Registrations are slow moving. Losing faith.

Undeniably the toughest project I've ever undertaken. Most of the lows in 2012 were because of it.

2 years in the running. 2 more months to go.

I thought there should be more light when we're nearing the end of the tunnel.

But there seems to be lesser light. Getting dimmer.

This almost looks set to be a loss-making project.

So Sweet!!! - Part Two

I really feel so loved lah!!!

My little cousin who is working in the next building from me just called to see if I was still in the office. She wanted to send me home because she was worried that I'd be caught in the heavy rain!

The warmth and fuzziness just doubled!

Maybe the Xmas spirit of giving and sharing is in the air haha.

So Sweet!!

It's cold, wet and rainy now. The sky is so dark, the clouds are so heavy and ominous and the thunder is downright scary.

Feeling warm and fuzzy inside though. Because of 2 SMS-es.

My mum texted me at 620pm to tell me thst there was very heavy rain and asked me if I had an umbrella with me.

And then my FIL texted me at 625pm to say that there was heavy rain too. And to ask if I needed him to fetch me home from office.

I feel loved. :) :) :)

Little Potty

I've always enjoyed building or making things with my hands. I've not built terrariums for a long time and thought I'd just make a small simple one since I had new leaves on my existing pot of red fittonia.

First time I'm using such a small container. No points for guessing, it's the ubiquitous small spice bottle from IKEA. :)

Energy, wherefore art thou?

I want to do things and get presents settled in time for Xmas. Kah Hui's going on leave next Thursday and I need to finish making her present before that.

The body is weak though. It's 9pm and I've just finished dinner. I have not bathed yet but I'm already lying flat out on the bed feeling exhausted. Eyelids are closing on me.

How ah? :(

Thoughts

Sometimes, the more you think about something or want something, the more it eludes you. It would do good to relax and let things flow naturally, but sometimes, it's easier said than done too. Hmm.

Happy News from the Cuz!

It was like telepathy. She was thinking of me yesterday and I was thinking of her too. I didn't manage to text her yesterday though and decided to MSN her today instead to see how she's doing.

She's pregnant! :) 15 weeks.

Really really happy for her. She went through a rough patch early this year and I'm glad that she's managed to conceive. :)

I'm supposed to help with naming the baby lol, but we have no idea about the baby's gender yet. She's going for a scan next week and hopefully we'll know!

The people in your life

There are some relationships in my life which have almost melted away into oblivion or there's so much dust and cobwebs obscuring them that I've almost forgotten they were there.

I used to think that the other party was at fault for not putting in enough effort to keep the relationship alive and healthy. That might have been selfish thinking. It suddenly occurred to me recently that maybe I did not put in enough effort too.

Maybe I should pick things up again and work harder? Better late than never?

Le Bon Weekend

It was a good weekend. Tiring but fulfilling.

Saturday
- visited my granny as usual
- had lunch with my folks and spent the early part of the afternoon running around with my mum in Tampines running errands
- popped by PQ's place for our weekly visit. Met up with Ally there. Ran around with Kyler and cradled 2-week-old Darius! Baby D happened to burp when he got into my arms lol.
- and then it was back to my parents' place for dinner with them, my brother, my sister-in-law and my nephew.

Sunday
- went to run errands again, this time with K. finally settled all the xmas presents which needed to be bought.
- finished with wrapping all the presents

And now for the rest of Sunday evening where I hope to.....
-finish making at least 2 of the 3 Xmas presents I intend to make/assemble this year
- watch Asia's Next Top model with K
- spend some quality time at home with K before sending him off to the airport....

$3,200 and counting

公司欠了我很多钱。那个Claims Processing Unit 真的process得很慢。圣诞节和农历新年要到了。开销会蛮大的， 真希望他们快点把钱还给我！

Christmas

The Christmas mood hits me later and later the older I get.

But it's still.....

*sings*

The most wonderful time of the year...

I guess the jingles, sales, lights, decorations and mad shopping brings out the joyousness and festivities of the season. 


The only thing is, K will be away for 2 weeks from the 9th till the 22nd. :(

Groping in the Dark

Caught in a strange situation where even my vendor "complained" to me about my staff. Spent half an hour talking to him while I was making my way home from work earlier this evening.

Not quite sure how to handle this hmm.

So now I have overseas people hinting to me that maybe she should not be so hot-headed and speak so freely. I have internal team-mates who have casually mentioned to me that she maybe should keep a rein on her emotions. And now I have a vendor who is giving me feedback that they are trying hard but are somewhat exasperated with her.


She was hired to get the job done for me, not to add onto my burden of dealing with these people-to-people relationships.....

How to manage this?

I'm new to this. Never quite experienced this before.
Groping in the dark somewhat. Trying to learn from all this at the same time.... 

Sticking to Your Values

My boss was not around yesterday and I had shared my intention with his PA yesterday morning that I wanted to take half-day afternoon leave. She shared with me that on other occasions when my boss was not around, my other colleagues would sometimes just disappear without even logging in their leave in the system and advised me to do the same. She said I would be silly if I were to “waste” half a day’s leave and log it in the system when other people didn’t even do so.

I felt uncomfortable doing a disappearing act. And eventually, I still logged in my leave officially through the system.

What would you have done?

Maybe I am straight-laced. Maybe I am silly. Maybe I am stubborn.

But I don’t feel that it is right to disappear from office just like that. Others might have done on severla occassions in the past but that doesn’t mean that I should follow the same, especially when I think it is not right.

At least, my conscience is clear.

Fragility

I was controlling myself and trying not to tear when ET shared with me today about his sister's last days of her battle with cancer, about him quitting his job to be around in Singapore to help care for her, about him massaging her arms to diffuse the swelling caused by water retention, about how he missed saying goodbye to her by just a mere 5-10 minutes, about him breaking down in hospital, about him trying to console his parents thereafter; and about him trying to help his mother cope with her emotions evern to this day, a year on from her passing.

Life is precious. Take time to breathe and enjoy the things around you.

Treasure the ones around you. Appreciate them. Love them. Care for them. Be there for them.

It's not all about work or grabbing the next new gadget that comes out in the market.

Don't get it

And so I heard from ET today that the Chinese spit alot because they believe phelgm and saliva are toxins which need to be purged from the body. (True for the first but not for the latter I think. Saliva helps break down some of your food and also acts as a mild form of antibacterial protection for the mouth and tongue)

He didn't have an answer when I asked why couldn't they spit into a tissue or something, He said it probably easier to hack and then spit out whatever it was in your throat. Rather than hack, take out a tissue and then spit.

And anyway, isn't it odd that when you spit these "toxins" out in the public, you're spreading more germs and bacteria around to others? And in the meantime, you're breathing in the bacteria left behind by other people as well?

Being Anal

I don't profess to be extremely good in English. But I have minimum expectations on how work documents should look like. And I tend to vet or correct grammar, editorial and formatting mistakes in work documents I receive. Yes, including those coming from my boss.

As far as possible, work documents should be properly vetted, formatted and edited. Typographical errors just seem careless and unprofessional. One or two which slipped through the cracks are still okay, but not when the whole document is peppered with them.

I attribute this to my Marketing background, having done lots of proofreading on lots of brochures and copy and other papers throughout my working life.

Mostly, I think I'm just being anal.

Is this considered a type of OCD?

Tht said, I try to be mre relaxd whn I am typng or wrtig out a blg entry.....

Sometimes, doing things on a whim brings you great results

ET was back in Singapore. I was supposed to have met him for dinner today but on a whim, I decided to take half a day's leave and met him for lunch instead. I'm glad I did.

It's rare that we meet up given that 85% of the time he is out of the country. But I defintiely did not expect us to talk for more than 4 hours haha.

We sat at Vivocity's Marche all the while and saw people coming in for lunch, tea and early dinner too...lol. We touched on many things but mainly it was him giving me updates and sharing things with me especially since we didn't have a proper catch-up the last time round in April or May.

1. How and why he wound his company up in China
2. Recruitment in China and the young generation of workers in China
3. The general culture and mindset over in China
4. The culture and mindset in Myanmar
5. His next move in his career
6. My career
7. My life in general
8. His sister's death and how his parents are coping with it
9. His relationship with his wife
10. Common friends
11. How we're a little late in the marriage, family, building a nest phase of life
12. Police in China
13. Some of my travels
14. My current big project
15. Perspectives and priorities in life
16. Some buddhist concepts

I hope he fixes his relationship with his wife soon and I wish him all the very best for his next career endeavour!

That French Chef

I love Raymond Blanc! Watching his programmes always brings a smile to my face. Besides the fact that he's French and a talented chef, he's got a weird laugh, an equally weird sense of humour and a down to earth personality.

Charming. With a capital C. :D

Different People Handle Things Differently

Some internalize their problems. Others voice it out to the whole world.

Some listen and dish out advice. Some listen but ask questions to guide the first person to think and come out with his/her own conclusion.

Some draw their energy from being around people. Others draw energy from within themselves and get tired when there’s too much going on at the same time.

Some recharge by immersing themselves in busy places. Others need to recharge by being alone.

I suppose….well yeah….I can’t and I shouldn’t judge someone just because he or she takes a different approach from me.
==============

For the most part, I internalize things and I tend to need to be alone for some amount of time to recharge. Give me a day’s off and I’d be perfectly fine just sitting at home and pottering around doing my own things or not doing anything much at all.

At this point in time, I feel a little overwhelmed with things. Maybe a day’s leave one of these days would be a good idea…

Today

I am...

1. Happy.....because I managed to speak to a colleague whom I'd not seen nor spoken to over the last few days. She brought me some laughs and I'm grateful for that. Am also happy because I had a nice lunch with a good friend-cum-ex-classmate. He just started dating a girl too which makes me even happier.

2. Pissed and frustrated.....because of a colleague. I feel he's not pulling his weight in the team. It's been like this for quite a long time and I don't know how much longer I can hold it in. I'd spoken to my boss on at least two occasions but I don't see much being changed.

3. Stressed.....alot at work and other things out of work. Just realized I've been partially holding my breath for the entire day till now, 830pm. No wonder my chest feels a little tight.

4. Somewhat tired.....physically tired and still a little sick. Mind is still racing though. Trying to slow it down a little.

5. Grateful.....yes, although I've complained about things here and there, I'm still grateful for all my loved ones and close friends in my life, and for all the good things that have come to me so far.

Upset.

Made another silly mistake at work. Very careless mistake.

To think I tried and tested it out for so many times just to make sure I got things right.

But when the actual and final execution of the task came, I flopped. Tremendously.

Brunei snippets

I was there for only 4 days and 3 nights but it was sufficient to give me a glimpse into life in Brunei.

People
They are a soft-spoken, patient, relaxed, friendly and sincere lot who seem to be genuinely content about life in general. Maybe these all stem from a life of shelter and protection from the Sultan. It was nice talking to them and it's easy to feel so at ease with them. Even people from higher management are easy to talk to. No airs. I cannot really imagine them quarreling with anyone.

Work
Their hours are usually 9am to 5pm. Normal enough. But people usually take a morning break at 10-plus, then leave for lunch at 1130 or so. Then they pick their kids up from school and send them home and then go back to work at 2pm. They have their afternoon tea break at 3-plus and then leave office at 5 or 530pm. All breaks are unofficial but the norm lol. Shiok! I also want!!

Royalty
This is big there. So who's considered royalty? The Sultan and his family. His siblings' families. In-laws and possibly their families. All in all, several hundred perhaps? Out of the entire population of 450,000. Palatial houses and big cars seem to be the status quo for these royalty.

Some of them have special traffic police escorts accompanying them on the road. Apparently when the escort out-riders sound their siren, you as a commoner driver need to shift to the left and allow the royalty and accompanying convoy to pass. I was on their roads for a grand total of only 3-4 hours across the 4 days I was there and I already had the chance to witness royalty pass us by on 3 separate occasions lol.

Drivers
Gracious, polite, friendly and patient is all I can say about Bruneian drivers. They give way to each other, they signal and they wave! So so friendly it's almost like one big family driving together. :)

Currency
For the life of me, i didn't know that Bruneian and Singaporean dollars can be used interchangeably in both countries. Ok I am suaku I know.

Life
Not much entertainment around. No pubs since it is a Muslim state, just some cinemas around. I might be generalising since I was there for only several days but I think that while life there might be slow-paced and boring, people are quite content. Maybe because the State (Sultan) takes care of a lot of things. Petrol is cheap, medical costs are covered and students are given allowances of $300-$400 a month to attend university.

Brunei

It was nice to see Brunei in such evening splendour. This was on our last night there and we had ended early. My 2 colleagues and I decided to explore the area and drove 25mins out to see a high-end beach resort. We were greeted by this sight...lovely sunset. Sometimes, doing things on a spur brings you unexpected lovely results. :)

I don't need this right now

Strongly-worded email from staff again, without my clearance. Tone used was not professional and quite bad. International organisation not happy. Now it's spiralling down.

Beyond me. Tied up with other things and now this has to happen.

WTF.

I feel like hiding in a corner to cry.

ppppssssshhhhaawww

So I guess life is never fair. No matter how much people try to be.

Double standards abound. People have preferences. Judgement and impressions tilt the balance.

And I don't understand why some people can get away with things when it is obvious they are not doing certain things right.

Suck it up.

Breathe

I have this feeling the closer the event gets, the higher my blood pressure will get. It is still 4 months away and things are already getting heated.

Trying to stay calm amidst the politics and bitching, the 2-3 big projects I’m somehow involved in, the other dribs and drabs of work (whether consequential or not) coming in everyday, and my diminishing ability to stay on top of everything. Some things are falling off my plate or hidden under other stuff.

Deep breath.

Cool, Calm, Zen.

Southern Biscuits

Hehe. We've loved the biscuits sold at Texas Chickem ever since we first tasted them. We'd even get them as snacks from time to time and lick every last crumb off our fingers.

And then one day we thought: we should make our own. We checked out the recipes and they turned out really really simple. Much easier than some of the cake or bread recipes out there.

Yesterday, I was still tired from the long flight home. But I managed to haul myself out of bed in the afternoon and made a batch of biscuits with K.

Success! Haha. They turned out great! The texture, look and feel of the biscuits were exactly like those sold at Texas Chicken! Though I think they could have done with a little bit more butter and sugar. :)

We'll be making them for the Xmas family dinner too!

First day back at work

Managed to clear a majority of my emails even while I was in Toronto. So I can't really figure out why I was still swarmed with work today. Bleah! Tomorrow will be a busy workday as well.

Looking forward to a nice simple dinner and then a nice warm shower later. :)

Grilled meat!

Got out of my office building and there was a heavy smell of grilled or barbequed beef in the air. Got into the cab and there was a strong smell of bak kwa and indonesian grilled chicken.

I don't feel hungry though. But am I subconsciously hungry? :)

Toronto

Travelling for work has become much less attractive for me since about a year ago.

Maybe the Africa and India trips back in end 2011 and early 2012 put me off things. Or maybe it's the backlog of work that awaits me back home. Or the juggle between attending the conference sessions, and clearing some work at the same time. Or the thought of being away from K. Or the thought of being away from my granny. Or the particular colleague that I am travelling with. Or the long-haul red-eye flights and the time differences and jetlag. Or the.....you get the drift.

Myriad reasons.

And so I left Singapore for Toronto with a somewhat unwilling heart last Friday night. Aside from some health scares, things were ok on the whole.

Weather
Singapore's weather is erratic. Toronto's is too. It could be sunny in the day and by the time afternoon comes, it turns gloomy and then starts to pour. But it is cold. The weather's cold in general. about 15-17C in the day and anywhere from 4-9C at night. It was drizzling heavily the whole night today and I'm glad to be back in my room, keeping warm and huddled in my bathrobe.

Food
Steaks. They seem to be the staple food here. Steaks and hotdogs. Lotsa beef around lol. Lotsa hotdog stands along the streets. Lotsa fried food too. Big portions though not nearly as big as the portions in the US. I can totally understand why the Caucasians in Canada and North America are much larger in girth. Had some Chinese food as well on two occassions. Rather good quality I must say.

Room Service
This trip marks the first time ever that I ordered room service for myself while on a business trip.

Faces
Met some people whom I'd not seen for a long time. Am amazed that some of them can still recognise me because I'd only spoken to them once before. And these are Caucasians. Maybe it's easier to remember an Asian female face because there really aren't many of them around at the conference. Met other good friends, hung out with mainly the Taiwanese and Hongkongers as usual.

People
Strangely, I didn't see any strikingly good-looking person. They all seemed mundane. I still think the best dressed and best-looking people are the French. :) Hongkongers come close.

Nature
Lovely trees line the streets and now that it's fall, their leaves are turning into lovely shades of yellow, orange and red. This is something we don't see in Singapore and it's such a pity because I think it's a beautiful phenomenon. It just adds a sentimental touch to the air and softens the environment.

Scare
I woke at 5am on the 2nd night I was in Toronto. My heart was pounding, my palms and soles of my feet were sweating, I was a little breathless, slightly light-headed and nauseous too. I was freaking myself out. And this continued for close to 2 hours. K was on the phone with me for more than half an hour to comfort me and calm me down. It may have been an anxiety or panic attack. I don't know. Definitely not due to pregnancy lol. I rested in my room for close to four hours before feeling better and venturing out for the rest of the day's meeting.

Skin
After a few days in cold weather, the skin on my legs and body typically gets itchy due to dryness. Moisturiser was my good friend at night. The last time I slapped on so much lotion was back in 2010 during my Europe trip.

Bath and Both Works
This is a brand that cannot be found in Singapore.I love their products and went ballistic when I found the BBW outlet in Toronto. I bought close to C$100 worth of stuff....that's about S$120 on body lotions, candles, creams, filing sticks, etc. :)

US and Canadian TV
They generally love to talk. And talk. And talk. And it shows on their TV programmes. Trashy talk shows. Business commentaries. Advertisements that don't use much images or music but just people who keep talking. Live court sessions where arguments abound.

Movies
On the journey to Toronto, I watched these movies:

• Twelve Angry Men - FANTASTIC movie, a classic from the 1950s.
• Safe - silly Jason Statham show, violent and at least 80 people died in the movie from shoot-outs or stabbings
• Mirror Mirror
• Your Sister's Sister
• The Artist - great movie

On the journey back to Singapore, I watched:

• To Rome With Love - quirky Woody Allen show which it brought back many memories of Rome, lovely
• Salmon Fishing in the Yemen - I like indie movies, this is a cross between an indie movie and a mass appeal movie. Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt and british accents are just lovely!
• Memoirs of a Geisha - 3rd time watching....but still nice
• The Graduate - Dustin Hoffman's first movie back in the 1960s, great show.
• What to Expect When You're Expecting
• A Simple Life - HK movie which won Deanie Ip a Best Actress prize. brought me lots of tears because the show reminded me of my granny

Unacceptable

Absolutely unacceptable.


Talking to non-marketing people makes my blood boil.

But there is nothing else I can do about things.

So I’ll just suck it up and move on.

awkward

So embarrassing. Just saw someone I know. A Spanish if I remember correctly. One of those caucasians who will do the kiss-the-air thingy.


Instead of puckering up and giving a kiss in the air, I just slammed my cheek into his…he offered the other cheek and I did the same again…..and gave a clumsy embrace after that.
This is the moment when you say....

……AWWWKKKWWWARD……..



-_- Bleah. After so many years I still forget what’s the right thing to do.

My FIL

Am on leave today and had a long lunch with my FIL at home just now. He was on a roll ad spoke alot.....about various issues covering myriad areas like the economy, society, self, work, the IT sector, etc. It was a long conversation, an hour 15mins, most of the time it was a monologue but I did manage to get some points....

• Singapore is too small an environment. To expand one's horizon, we need to move out and look beyond our shores. If possible, go work in another part of the world, a bigger country. They do things on a bigger scale and we could learn many things from them. Much of what Singapore does is limited in physical size.....
• Basic literacy in numeracy is important. You don't need detailed knowledge on why some financials are in a particular manner but you should know enough to read balance sheets and understand ROI ratios and other basic financial ratios.
• Try to put yourself in a playing field where there are lesser people and where it is easier to increase your own market value.
• Everyone has skills, you just need to find your predominant skill to hone.

Ms Gloxinia

 

This is the pot of Gloxinia Ally gave me!

This was its previous spot, on Ally's office window sill overlooking the Shenton Way, Tanjong Pagar area

I love the little "windmill"!

And here's it's new spot. :)

In my study room, sitting next to some new compnions, 2 pots of red and green fittonias.

Hope it grows well enough!

Live in the Moment

Yup, but within your means.

Went for a jog last night with a tired body. Took a longer route than usual and I also didn't eat anything around 4-5 plus to boost my energy levels.

The result?

A shell with depleted enegry. Flat out. Nauseous. Breathless. Giddy. Couldn't even get up to walk without feeling like the world was whirling around me for more than 30minutes after I reached home.

I think I gave the helper a scare.

Finally managed to clamber up to my room on the 3rd floor when K got home from work. And spent another hour and a half flat on the floor before finally feeling alright enough to take a shower and have some dinner.

Feeling guilty because K had to skip his own run to take care of me and sit wth me on the floor for more than an hour while I stoned.....

Restless

bored, tired, restless and a little melancholic since last night.

couldn't wake this morning and dragged my bum to the office.
maybe i overworked my brain yesterday, was still working at home in the night.

managed to spend some alone time after lunch just now walking around NTUC and Watsons.

made for some distraction, which was good.

definitely looking forward to knock-off time.

I see some light!

The past few meetings related to the Feb event has been going well.

Just came back from another meeting with a sponsor. 

They've confirmed their participation!

Yay, more funds coming in! :)

May there be more sponsors coming our way!

Not A Pretty Sight

Opened my mailbox and was greeted by at least 15 emails received from the international organization arrowing people to do things for That February Event. 90% of the emails relate to us as the local host i.e. we need to do things.

ROAR. ROAR. ROAR.

There will be fornightly teleconference calls instead of the monthly ones from November onwards i.e. they will start hounding us for things.

ROAR. ROAR. ROAR.

One of the concalls has been scheduled on 1st Jan. And another's been scheduled on 12th Feb Day 3 of CNY).

ROAR. ROAR. ROAR.

A List

The rate at which each year goes by seems to get faster and faster with the passing of each year. Months and weeks fly past and now we’re already in the last quarter of the year.

Which brings to mind the question: what have I done for the past 9 months? What will I be doing for the last 3 months of the year? Much of the year has been spent on the wedding and on shifting into K’s place and settling down.

For the next 3 months, I think I would like to do the following. Some things are new, some are old. Others are on-going.....Not too many things but definitely enough to keep me occupied.....

1. Spend a few moments at the end of each day reflecting
2. Get into a routine of running and building myself up (I know I've said this since god knows when...)
3. Stay connected to close friends and family
4. Focus on my event for next year
5. Settle all Xmas gifts quickly
6. Read a book

Maybe it's the eyes?

I remember the first time I heard someone say I looked like Jamie Yeo from a certain abstract angle. I spluttered and said no way. She's hot and I'm not. She's absolutely gorgeous and I'm nowhere near that level. That was more than 10 years ago I think.

Over the years from time to time though, I've gotten that same comment. From an ex-classmate, an ex-colleague, my ex-boss.

And then yesterday when my family was looking through some of the wedding photos, my own brother made that same comment.

Hmm....soo maybe I really do look like her from certain angles?.....Albeit a chubbier and much less chio version.

If we were to do a commercial for an aesthetic surgeon, I'd be the "before" and she'd be the "after" lol...

YAY!

My efforts have paid off!


A staff submitted a paper to me last week. While the information was mostly in there, there was no proper structure and it was very disorganized with bits and pieces of information here and there. I spent a frustrating night re-structuring it and spent another hour the next day rehashing the paper, correcting grammar and tweaking the information within.

Early this morning, the PA returned me the paper from the boss. The boss had written a comment within. "Very good paper."

Whee!!

Pure joy on an otherwise drab Monday morning!

Motivated! Haha. :)

Being past 30 really makes a difference

Putting on weight...not good. Not good at all  :(

Lost the motivation to run regularly ever since I shifted office to MBC, which was a year and a half ago. And dinner these days are quite heavy. I should cut down on dinner. I should cut down on snacking...and I should....as K always says....exercise more.

:( :( :(

Giving Up on People

"Sometimes you have to give up on people, not because you don’t care, but because they don’t."

Someone posted this on Facebook and it struck a chord with me. I guess it applies to relationships in general, and not just within the work environment.

Gourmet Delights

I shared the recipe for Pong Tau Hu with Minah last night and told her to cook it today. I didn’t give her proportions though because I cook food based on gut feel and lots of tasting in between. I hope it turns out right. She managed to cook Ayam Buah Keluak pretty well on her own after it was demonstrated to her so I think she should be able to cook the Pong Tau Hu equally well!

Taught her how to make a simple water chestnut drink/dessert as well. This is easy and given her talent in cooking, she should be able to get this down pat. :)
Looking forward to dinner tonight!

Love and a Taxi Uncle

I've taken many cabs in Singapore before and many taxi uncles have made it a point to talk to me and share snippets of their life story with me, even if the journey's a short 10-15minutes. Maybe some tales are true and others are exaggerations, whatever they are, they always make for interesting stories.

Today was no exception. I was on a journey from Kembangan to Tampines and the uncle started talking from the moment I got on. It didn't help that he drove at 50km/h or less, even on busy roads.

He spoke fully in English and sounded like sincere, genuine man.

Along the way, I found out that he used to be in the construction business and had projects in Shanghai, Beijing, Qatar, Abu Dhabi and some other Middle Eastern state I can't remember.

He told me he was twice divorced and had once owned four private properties, two of which were gone after his first divorce and the remaining two disappeared as well after his second divorce.

In this context, he told me....

" I don't believe in love anymore. I tell you, love is poison. Love is poisonous! You see, married twice, divorced twice, now I am just a poor man. Poor in heart, poor in life, poor in bank. You tell me, what is love good for? What is it good for at all?"

I did not answer. I just smiled at him through his rearview mirror. What more could I say to a jaded uncle who has seen much more than me?

He smiled back though, with a small touch of nonchalance. Although his words do not show it, he seemed like one who has taken everything that life's ever thrown at him in his stride.

I hope I made his day just by listening to him and providing him an avenue to rant.

Time flies

It's been 2 months since I shifted in. And I'm still trying to get used to being called "Mam Michelle" by the helper lol.

I'm getting used to not having to do the dishes though hehe.

The commute to and from office is much easier now. Just a direct bus ride, no need to switch trains or jostle with the crowd. And the stops where I take the bus somehow always have enough seats so I don't need to stand.

Murphy's Law

It's one of those days when I feel tired and "nua" and so I dress in a "nua" manner as well.

And then I'm told that there's a meeting which was scheduled at the last minute with a VP from Google.

FML.

I'm no longer in Suntec where I can go buy something nicer or what. :(

Oh dear, I hope he doesn't mind my shabby dressing today.....

the shell is not doing too good

I hate yeast!!! (Except the ones used in baking and cooking of course.)

OH I HATE YEAST!!!!!!!!

And I hate the discomfort and inconveniences. :( :( :(

Happy Anniversary

Today marks the 5th year I am with this company.

I don't really remember much of my first day on 17 September 2007 except that I joined a bunch of colleagues for lunch at the Suntec City Mall foodcourt. 5 of them have since left the company with the latest one leaving just at the start of this month.

It's been a relatively good 5 years, with opportunitiesto lead projects and also to see other parts of the world. I've definitely grown somewhat, though I could still do much more and grow much more.
I am thankful for a boss who takes care of us and with whom I get along quite well with.

Here's to more good and hopefully productive years!

Happiness is

• when the last person I see before I sleep and the first person I see when I wake is K
• having a simple lunch with my parents, chatting, laughing and gossiping over a cup of tea
• waking up at 945am on a Monday knowing that I need not rush to get ready for work
• munching on sotong balls
• knowing I'll be catching up with loved ones and close friends soon over drinks and a nice meal
• buying a new pot of fittonias
• lying on the bed and staring out the window at the bright blue skies

:)

...............

Oh ya!!

I just realized that there was something we forgot to do during the morning activities on our wedding day.
We didn’t do the “throwing-of-the-wedding-bouquet” thingy. The part where the bride stands with her back facing her single jiemeis (and single xiongdis if they wished to join in) and throws the bouquet over her shoulder towards them.

2 of my jiemeis are still single and available. And at least 2 or 3 other xiongdis too. It would have made for some fun lol. Missed photo opportunity as well.

faire la cuisine

It's been a long time since K and I cooked anything together. The last time was during Chinese New Year I think, when we roasted chicken for his family. That was more than half a year ago already.

I think it's high time we dig out some interesting recipes and flex our cooking muscles again!! Be it sweet or savoury, anything goes!

Granny with an ATTITUDE!

 

  Haha. Granny is doing much much better these days. She talks voluntarily and rattles on about things that come to her mind. She smiles and jokes and laughs. Her appetite's back to normal. She's feisty when she doesn't like certain things and chortles when she sees something she likes or approves of. 

Dad sent me this photo of her when I was working overseas last week. :) Apparently Dad told her to strike a pose and she did this. Lol...

feeling bookish again

It has been a long time since I've read a book. Up to 2 years ago I was reading novels and non-fiction books at the rate of one each month. I think I've gone without reading a book for more than a year already. Opps.

Maybe I should pick one up again now that I'm regularly taking the bus to and from office. Long bus rides make for ideal book-reading time.

Perhaps, Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist shall be the book to get me started again. I've read it before but more often than not, when you re-read some books, you still get to learn new things because you pick up on things you missed previously.

Bonding in a different way

We went for lunch at Peach Garden at White Sands today. An early celebration for my mum's birthday which is still about 2 weeks away. And then we were "dragged" to the Timezone arcade at the same mall. The whole family ended up playing games for more than an hour haha.


Lately, my mum, nephew and sister-in-law became hooked on two of the games machines. One is a spoof of angry birds and the other involves you catching fish and scoring points. Hence today's trip to the arcade after lunch.

When I was growing up, I didn't really visit any video/games arcade as I didn't understand the whole mechanics of it. Most games were violent and confusing and involved you parting with alot of your money in a very short period of time. Plus, the arcades were frequented by alot of ah-bengs during those days.

So it came as a pleasant surprise to me that the whole family could spend so long there at the arcade. It was good clean fun though. Noting violent, nothing unhealthy. And it brought smiles to all of us. :)

Those bright moments of sunshine

Last Wednesday afternoon, my father-in-law sent me to the airport. I was leaving for a work trip. I remember thinking to myself in the car that this would be the first time K wouldn't be there to see me off at the airport (well, except for those times that he was away for studies haha.)

I stepped into the airport, checked which way to go to and turned around to walk to the check-in counter. And then voila...K was there! :) He'd snuck off from work to be at the airport to see me off. It was a lovely lovely surprise and I sure was mighty touched haha.

Thank you Baby...:D

money money money

When I was running a hostel committee back in my second year in uni, we had to source for sponsorships and funds for the event we were organising.

It seems like dejavu now. Scrambling to get our teeth into any piece of fund we can find for our event next February.

This work trip has brought us some measure of good news in terms of sponsorships. Some organisations have committed their funds to us. While we are still far off from what we need, I am still happy.

On a separate note though, I have some people avoiding me now because they know I am seeking sponsorships. Oh the woes of work!

Phnom Penh

This was a strange work trip. Aside from me (and my colleague) being bored and not wanting to come, I’ve also met with situations that I’ve not encountered before.
Hotel
I stayed at a swanky hotel-cum-casino. The first floor was the casino. I’ve never seen such a set-up before. The casino was open. Anybody could walk in and out. It was strange because to me all casinos had a controlled entrance and exit. Gamblers, prostitutes, aunties, uncles, tourists and croupiers were milling around the tables and jackpot machines uninhibited.

Presentation
I botched my presentation somewhat. Though people knew I was from Singapore, I forgot to introduce myself (mega boo-boo) and spoke like a train lol. But I guess I met my objective. To have the presentation as short and sweet as possible.

Socials
Met up with good friends, most of them Taiwanese, Chinese, Hong Kongers, Malaysian and Indian. Met up with THE Internet pioneer in Cambodia whom I knew from my past travels. It felt good to catch up with him though initially he couldn’t place me and thought I was a Cambodian. Sigh.

Tummy
I felt a little strange on the day that I flew from Singapore to Phnom Penh, which was Wednesday. And wasn't doing too good all the way till Friday. :( Had to take some diarrhoea pills here and there.

Snatching
I don’t like places which are messy. I feel unsafe. I’ve been to Phnom Penh before and I certainly did not feel that unsafe during that trip. This time it feels different. I see a messier Phnom Penh. People are still friendly and generally hospitable and helpful. But somehow I am seeing seedier streets and areas.

Five of us ladies were in a tuk-tuk to a social dinner function. While we were still in the tuk-tuk, my colleague’s mobile phone was snatched from her hands just 10m from the restaurant we were going to. 2 men on a motorbike zoomed past our tuk-tuk and reached in. One pulled her hand and tried to get her bag but it was hooked around her arm. The other guy managed to get her mobile instead. She screamed.

It happened right in front of my eyes and was over in just 2-3 seconds. We were all shocked. She was a little shaken as well. It was a Galaxy Note. Ouch. She bought it for $800-odd only 6 months ago. But whatever it is, we were thankful that it was only a snatch theft and that the guy who did it wasn’t carrying any knife.

Eye-opener
In my entire life, I’ve only ever been into a police station once to make a report. And that was for the loss of my identity card. Because of the snatch-theft incident, I accompanied my colleague to make a police report. I not only visited two police stations within Phnom Penh, I also had the opportunity to pop by the Foreign Relations Agency, which turned out to be a nondescript small space amongst small shops selling knick-knacks.

The police stations were really just small shop spaces with some wooden tables within. Chairs were those plastic chairs you’d see in our coffee shops. There would be at least one CRT TV within the station, usually blaring some Cambodian or Korean MTV station. We’d be stared at whenever we stepped into a post. And I was very glad that we had a hotel staff accompany us the whole time. I saw a suspect as well. Not in handcuffs but in chains and lying on the ground. His hands were chained to window grilles and his feet were bound together in chains. To put it crudely, he reminded me of a trussed chicken lying on the ground.

Osmosis

I was watching Caesar Milan's Dog Whisperer on TV a few nights ago. He spoke of how dogs pick up on your emotions and feelings and state of mind and will act in the same manner. Eg. If you're edgy and nervous when dealing with the dog, it'll get edgy and nervous too. If you're calm and collected, the dog will pick up on your steady vibes and be more calm as well, and hence be easier to handle.

It brought to mind something I was observing from time to time on how kids pick up things from their parents. I'm not talking about the conscious things parents teach their children, more like the unspoken subconscious behaviours, mannerisms and emotions that children sense and pick up from their parents.

My mum's a paranoid person at times. She's edgy and nervous at other times. And I know she definitely passed those onto me. No, she didn't teach me to be that way. Just being with her all through my childhood and formative years was enough to let those emotions and behaviours permeate me.

My sister-in-law's a quieter person. She's calm for most of the time though she's got her neurotic and paranoid times as well. My nephew turned out to be a quieter boy too. He's insightful and calm for most of the time unless he's playing with my parents. (Then he morphs into a crazed child haha.)

Osmosis of emotions and behaviours and mannerisms?

Hmm, when I have a child of my own in the future, I wonder what traits my child will pick up from me and K? I hope only the good ones haha.

Granny

Granny was doing very good yesterday when I went to see her. She was very alert and mighty observant. She talked alot voluntarily. She wasn't grumpy and could make jokes to tease me. Her eyes looked bright and not glazed. She was looking at anything and everything around her.

She even saw that a button on my Dad's shirt was loose and needed more stitching to hold it in place. I didn't even notice it haha.And she finished the big bowl of puree they gave her for lunch yesterday. She finished every spoonful I fed her! :)

Am so so glad and happy that she's back to her normal self after the last month or so of not feeling well.

哪里可以这样?

How can someone just float his way through work and get away with it? Siam this, siam that. Do a little here, a little there. Talk his way in and out of things. Don't deliver. Create big messes. Put the blame on others.

And YET, still manage to survive for so long in this organisation??!!

I don't understand.

The more I think about it, the more I fume and the more I don't like this person and try not to have anything to do with him.

It's not healthy. Maybe I shouldn't bother too much.
But I guess the unfairness I feel at times gets the better of me.

Rambling

A project idea was “sold” to the boss and painted in a pretty, rosy, cloudy picture. A picture which hid all the flaws, cracks and inconsistencies of the project. You were roped in at the beginning to help the project proposer do up some initial work to bid for the project. That person skived and you ended up doing the work. The boss knew what was going on and when the project was finally awarded to your company, the boss decided to pass the project on to you. That was 2 years ago.

2 years on. Sure, you learn some things and it builds you up. Hopefully your character, intelligence and acumen builds up as well.

And you’re still stuck with a non-viable screwed-up project. Maximum effort and minimum returns for the company. Brand exposure for the company is good, but not when it dents your bank balance so much. When the project concludes and the funds outflow is more than what was meant to be? Whose head will be on the chopping block? The project manager or the boss? The initial project proposer has long before wiped his hands clean of things. Bollocks.

There’s still slightly more than 6 more months to go. Things are heating up as the project approaches its climax. There are more and more people to answer to. Your bosses. External stakeholders. Vendors who are trying to play with you.

You’re feeling more frustrated now and at a loss. Trapped in a cage. With bright lights shining on you from all sides of the cage. You can’t seem to do anything but just stare blindly into the lights with wide-eyed terror and confusion. Fight or flight? Or freeze?

Fight? Clawing through. No arrow to follow, just scrambling in a wayward direction, hoping it’s for the best.

Yes, hope. That’s all you have now. And your claws, or what’s left of them.

The Is and the Es

I recently attended a one-day course on Communications and Stakeholder Management.

It was a relatively enjoyable course and highly unusual for me because I felt at ease with myself and could present in front of the whole class without much nervousness. My goofy side even managed to show itself on several occassions with some impromptu jokes to the whole class.

The guest lecturer was Dr John Ng who has written several books and gotten them published in Singapore. There was a section when Dr Ng shared with us the differences between introverts and extroverts.

The main difference is how and where the two groups of people draw their energy from. Introverts get their energy from themselves and when they need time to recharge, they need to be with themselves, either at home or perhaps just being by themselves in a cafe outside. Or maybe just with a like-minded friend. Extroverts on the other hand, draw their energy from the environment and from things and people around them. When they need to recharge, they are up, out and about, immersing themselves amongst others and getting their energy from the bustle around them.

In terms of thinking, introverts tend to spend more time thinking and delving into things at a deeper level. They analyse more and reflect more on things. Extroverts on the other hand, do less of all these things. Introverts find it harder to respond on the cuff because they need time to analyse and think through, extroverts don't.

Looking at some other examples he shared with the class, I think as I grow older, I get more introverted. Too much noise, hustle and bustle tire me out fast. A walk in Orchard is tiring too and I can only last an hour plus or two before the noise, people and jumble of things get to me. Most days I prefer just hanging and chilling out at home or in quiet places, either alone, with K or with a small cosy group of friends.

So what are you? An I or an E? :)

Second Childhood

There is this concept of a "second childhood" and the common explanation is that it refers to a phase experienced by the aged who suffer from severe dementia and whose mental faculties and emotional control have been reduced to that akin to a child's.

Looking after granny has given me a new perspective to this term. She can be considered relatively alert and at times even witty for her age. Although I admit she does have her down days when she spouts nonsense. But still to me, technically, her mind's still okay on the whole.

So "second childhood" in her case refers more to her physical state. She wears diapers and most recently, she isn't really able to chew food properly so she now gets pureed food and soup for her meals.She needs help going to the bathroom and she needs lots of support when getting on and off the bed. She moves around these days entirely on wheelchair compared to a few months back when she could still summon some strength to use her walking frame.

Whatever it is, I am very thankful that her mental state of mind is still relatively alright. in fact, quite good for her age. And I am very thankful that although she doesn't want to talk much these days, she still called out my name when I asked her if she knew who I was.

I spy with my little eye

If you're wondering why the sudden outpouring of posts.....it's because I've been wanting to post but I've been too lazy.....and well I'm on medical leave today and I've got some spare time...:)

Woke this morning with part of my left eye being red. Freaked me out. Anything to do with the eyes always makes me queasy and squeamish. The last time something like that happened (earlier in Feb this year actually when I discovered I had a big floater in my right eye), I had a panic attack and got woozy in office.

When I saw that reddish patch on my eyeball, I felt that same woozy feeling again, coupled with palpitations. Damn it, I told myself. Get a grip. I could feel the blood draining from my lips too. Things felt light.

Eventually, I didn't go to work. K, being the dutiful husband, accompanied me to the doc before he went to work later than usual.

And so...apparently, a small blood vessel in the membrane covering the eyeball had burst sometime during the night, hence the reddish patch on my eye. The doc said it was something common. And I asked him if he was sure because nothing like that had ever happened to me, nor my family members, nor my friends in all my 32 years of life.

Sigh, the doc said it'll take about a week or two to clear up on its own. FML.
No contact lenses till it heals. Ok back to my nerdy self.

Looking on the bright side, HENG it only happened after the wedding. 

The Aftermath

You know the (almost) sudden screech to a halt when things have been going at a maddening pace? That's what it felt like to me after the wedding was over. Lol.

The sudden quieting down of things. The realisation that hey, the event's over. (so fast??)

Well, not to say that there are totally no more things to do. Just that things are not that pressing, there are no more hard deadlines on the personal front. And we are settling down together.

I am settling down too. Into the new place. Shifting was a drag. But I think most of the work has been done on that front and I am glad. Event my mint, basil and fittonia terrarium has been shifted over.I hope my parents don't feel too lonely. Or maybe they are glad to be rid of me lol. To quote my Dad: "Oh now that Michelle's out of here, we can buy durians already!!"   -_-'' 

Onward into the future we go! Building each step and crafting our world together!

Some pics

Lol, I've not had the chance to consolidate photos from various sources. So here are just soem pics uploaded from my phone. :)

There's the dragon candles hidden in the box. The candle holders are at the back. And yes that's the teapot set which was used by my parents during their traditional wedding ceremony back in 1973. My brother used it as well for his wedding back in 2001. And now it's my turn to use it! :D 

And to the right is the bowl and soon set used for our eating of mee sua when I come back to my own house for the tea ceremony.

The night before the actual day. Bright, red and cheery "shuang xi" slippers!

Coupled with pink satin PJs which my mum insisted on buying for me. Couldn't worm my way out ofit and so I had to wear them the night before....

The bridal bouquet. Ignore the paper ID tag please. 

We're known as couple 5604 to the bridal studio. zzzz

Voila. Me waiting for the gatecrashing activities to end. Am grateful for a bunch of super innovative "jiemeis" who connected with me via skype so that I could view all the gatecrashing activities. Lol.

p/s: I love my yellow room!

I didn't have a picture of me in my kwa on my phone. Anyway, I changed out of it and into this lovely magenta dress when I had to leave home and head to the hotel. checked in, did some camwhoring shots, showered and then crashed into bed. 

I loved the hairstyle the make-up artist did for me in the morning. And I love the hair accessory to bits too! 

It took me 15mins to get the hair accessory and all 30 black bobby pins out of my hair for this hairstyle. And another 15-20mins of shampooing and conditioning to wash all the hairspray off. Looks like a simple style but oh so much spray and pins and effort went into it!! Much prefer this hairstyle compared to the first style she did for me for the evening.

Make-up artist doing her magic. Transformed me from blah to fwah. :) Thank you Candy!

不晓得

有时候真的不知道自己要把东西弄得那么仔细和organised来干吗？

是我个人的作风，我个人的性格，我个人的怪癖还是是我对自己和对别人的要求过高? 还是这是职业病？

不晓得。Maybe it's abit of everything.

话说回来，有时身边的人不理会你的好意或忽略了你的effort, 那又怎样？是自己心甘情愿的去做，就不应该要求什么。

不晓得。

嗨，算了，去睡个觉， 明天又是新的一天。

.........

And so the numbers keep decreasing again.

Aunt's unwell, had a transient stroke. She won't be there both in the morning and the evening. I won't be able to serve tea to her.

A colleague's gran just passed on. He won't be able to make it for the dinner already.

Some who matter to me won't be able to make it for the morning activities.

And the most recent news of all....Granny's not doing well these 2-3 days. She refuses to eat. And she's relieving herself on the bed for all matters big or small. She's not talking much, she's not calling the nurses. While she can still recognise people, she's lethargic and only wants to sleep. She has not eaten much in 3 days.

There was family talk. Of not bringing her back for the morning tea ceremony at all. And there was even talk of...what if she passes on before Sunday arrives and what if we bring her back on Sunday and she passes on at home.....

Wah lan. WTF.

Seriously. WTF.

I did not want to part of that conversation. I left and went back to my room. I was upset and feeling angry.

It's supposed to be a happy time. Why do I have tears in my eyes?

Perennial Weaknesses

These stores never fail to make me part with my money! In no order of merit:

1. Daiso : oh love love love!
2. Cold Storage *beams*
3. Old Chang Kee
4. Watsons
5. H&M
6. Muji

Oh and I can't resist nice pretty notebooks too!

Work

I value discretion and diplomacy, especially in a work environment. Unfortunately, not many people are like that. Sigh.

Cool calm zen

If you ask me, I'd say that love is between two people, marriage is between two families and a wedding's between everybody and anybody else in between.

Myriad versions of "you should" and "it should be done this way" and "you shouldn't do it" has been thrown at us from various angles.

While I definitely appreciate feedback and advice, I also appreciate them dished out in a more diplomatic, as opposed to autocratic, manner.

Oh right, I don't even know why we can't use the bedlinen that we had bought. We spent many afternoons looking for it and now it's been rejected for some reason. Hmm.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't fret, some might say.

Right.

Ohm.

Ohm.

Ohm.

staff work woes

写了说我罗嗦， 不写又说我不够详细

到底要我怎样呢？

有事情通知了说我太紧张， 不跟你讲又说我没把你放在眼里

到底要我怎样呢？

嗨， 员工之苦。。。

Skype Dad Skype!

I set up a Skype account for my dad over the last few days. And taught him how to use it yesterday evening. :)

All because my parents’ good friends are stuck in Vancouver for 2 months (to help their son look after his kids while his helper is back home in the Philippines to get married) and both couples miss each other quite abit. Right now they are only emailing each other and so when Auntie Mimi and Uncle Robert suggested that they Skype one of these days, my dad came to ask me how to do it.

Think I'll do another run through with him again this evening so he remembers how to do it.

I think it’s great that they are trying to keep pace with technology. Especially my dad. The only thing that I’m not teaching him is how to get onto Facebook lol.

Effort

Sometimes, when you’ve been around someone for too long, you reach a phase of familiarity where either party takes the other for granted, or both take each other for granted.

It happens all the time with family, between friends, with spouses and other loved ones. I am guilty of it, no doubt about it, and I’m sure many others are too.

I guess, it takes a conscious effort to remind yourself to be mindful of the other party’s feelings. I don’t think I’ve done well at this but I’ll keep trying. And of course, I’ll need to temper my impatience as well...

??!!??!!

There was a tense discussion at my desk over a paper my colleague and I submitted. And then the boss sort of threw the paper on my desk.

I was fuming inside. As a last response, I said…

“FINE. YA. Ya, Ya, I’ll change it LOR!”

Is that the best I can muster?? -_-

Sigh. When your boss is in a foul mood, it sucks when you’re in his radar.

Jason Mraz!!

When I told K yesterday that it was strange that I wasn't really feeling excited about the concert tonight, he said "oh, it'll come..."

And he's right.

The excitement IS building!! I've been listening to J Mraz's songs the whole of today and am counting down to 5:30 when I get off work! Woot! hahaha....

Boo-boos

The amazing amount of careless mistakes I am making these days is appalling. I don’t know if I am being complacent or it’s a result of too much multi-tasking.
I can’t believe I sent a contract to my Malaysian partner with 13 pages missing from it.
And I sent out another contract that day to a local partner with someone else's company name on it
I missed sending a letter of notification out to someone else as well.

Sigh. WTF is happening.

Here I am correcting my staff's careless mistakes and there I am making these mindless blunders of my own. These mistakes SHOULD NOT happen at all.

My bar is set high. And I just failed myself miserably....Sigh. 

I used to pride myself with my meticulousness....I think I need to pull up my pants a whole lot higher to be able to tell myself that again.

I see shadows

From time to time, I scare myself because I think a fly or an insect is flying right in front of me. Or I think a cockroach just scuttled over the floor. Or I think a bug is in a corner of the room. 

I see a dark spot here, or a shadowy small spectre there.

And then I realise, it's that dumb big piece of floater in my eye. Coupled with a few small ones.

Sigh.

I look a little silly sometimes because people and passers-by around me see that I duck at nothing or wave my hands in front my face for nothing or "siam" for nothing. 

:(

Great, now I can't go for another business trip. This time it's to Tokyo.
UGGGGHHHHH.

That issue

The contractual matter has been settled today. Finally. I am glad but why don't I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders? Hmm. In fact, there's a niggling feeling about the days going forward. The days of event preparation.

May the Lord help us put forth this event in the smoothest, most impressive and most cost effective way possible!!

Mr Mint

And this here is Mr Mint. From a teeny cutting about 15cm tall back in Nov 2011, he has grown to almost 10 times that height and now stands at about 130cm tall. New shoots are still growing everyday from each leaf node too. It's quite a joy watching him grow from week to week. (I know, I sound like I'm talking about my son.)

It's a hardy plant and has weathered many occasions of neglect from me (and haphazard care from my mum, the surrogate carer on days that I am away) with nary a withered leaf or a droopy stem. It never seems to be too thirsty, I can give it little water and still it survives. It never seems to reject too much water too, I can pour water till it starts flowing out for the bottom the pot and still it stands tall. I wonder how the root system is though. But it's beneath the soil so I don't think I can find out.

I have a confession. I nearly lopped off the top 30-40cm of Mr Mint yesterday. I'd intended to trim that portion off and transplant the cutting to another pot because it was getting too tall and wobbly. Even with support bamboo poles by the side, Mr Mint is in a really wobbly state. My trimming scissors was actually already positioned at a stem node and I was ready to snip.

But I somehow couldn't do it. So drama I know.

You can roll your eyes but it's the first time ever that I've taken care of a plant that has grown up so tall and so beautifully! Lol. I got sentimental about things and called a family conference. My Dad said not to cut. Ah. The patriarch had spoken. The scissors was banished back to its hiding place in the drawer.

And so Mr Mint still stands tall at 130cm (and counting) today. :)

Mr Basil

2 strong shoots are towering over the rest of the them. In a bid to encourage lateral and not vertical growth so that there's denser foliage, I decided to trim off the top 1/3 of the weaker of the two stems and transplant the cutting back into the pot. Before I could pot it, I had to remove some leaves from it first...

And voila, here they are. Some little ones and the rest are huge leaves. Yep, that's how big some of the leaves of my basil plant are. I crushed those leaves and spent the night smelling them haha.

The pot attracts some ants from time to time as well. Wonder if it's because of the herb fragrance.

trips

Will be missing 3 work trips this year....:(

1. Costa Rica
2. Prague
3. Brunei

But am looking forward to the following:

1. Personal trip to Bali in August!
2. Work trip to Toronto in October!
3. Work trip to Brunei in November!

为什么这件事还不能解决？

For every day that this contractual matter drags on, I feel more and more frustrated and more and more constipated.

I really hope to see this conclude asap but why are we faced with an obstacle at every single turn and with every single step? Everytime I think the episode can be concluded, something else pops up.

Swarmed with things. Nearly lost my cool just now. My boss could tell I was frowning like an angry cow when he came to talk to me.

Why is every year's May and June so hectic? Sigh.

Random

I think I actually have quite a number of tops and some dresses which can double up as maternity wear. Hmm...lol. Mentioned to K the other day and he rolled his eyes.

Brainy stuff

Was at the derm doc appointment this morning. He wondered aloud if he should put me on some mild medication and also wondered if I would have any side effects. So I casually mentioned to him (a new doc I've never seen before) that I've a long medical history.

He: *leafs through my med file*
He: oh you had an aneurysm!!! Wah!
Me: ya, a cavernoma as well.
He: in the brain??!!
Me: err ya.
He: Wah!! But but. You look so normal!! The surgeons did a good job of clipping the aneurysm and sewing you up!!
Me: errr....??!!

Wonder what that comment of his meant man....

*whimper*

I can't remember when was the last time, if ever, that I felt so stretched. 4 policy papers by mid next week for a consultancy project to another country. Not just any policy paper touching on some small project, but papers recommending frameworks and policy structures impacting a part of that country's Internet arena.

Plus all the event things
Plus the contractual issue which has not been settled
Plus board minutes which have not been written
Plus 2 reseller transfer cases
Plus 3 resellers waiting to be accredited
Plus site visits next week
Plus a stupid work dinner meeting on Sunday
Plus ......

Oh yes
Plus wedding

*pulls hair*

Yummy Munchies

I guess I really do enjoy cooking. And I've a better affinity with savory foods than with the sweet stuff haha. I'm not that good a cook yet, compared to all the other female Cantonese and Peranakan food maestros from both sides of my family. Hope I can hone my skills over time and pick up more Peranakan recipes too!

In the meantime...Sat's attempt at using Ally's Happycall pan to cook butter herb chicken was a success! Coupled with her butter raisin rice and wild rocket salad, it was a lovely lovely meal!! :) Think I shall replicate the whole meal next time again :p

Of ducks and....ugh.

I left DUCKtours 8 LONG years ago. In fact, almost 8.5 years ago. That's close to a decade.

I find it only very slightly amusing that some people still associate me with that company. One senior from hostel who has not contacted me for at least 5-6 years suddenly called me up out of the blue.

Just to ask me how much is the ride, what is the best time of the day to go for it, and what are the peak hours of the ride. Because "I want to bring my son there".

?????!!!!!!!!!!

Like hello?!! zzzzzzzzzzzz. The company has a hotline. Couldn't you have called the hotline? They'd be the best person to advise you right?

The call lasted less than a minute. There were no pleasantries. It felt like a business call. Hello, what is this, what is that? Ok, thanks, bye. We've not spoken in years, the least you could do was to ask how are things?

7 July's a really good date

7 July is an auspicious day. We were supposed to have the wedding on that day but could not manage to find a suitable hotel venue. So 7 July became our Guo Da Li day instead.

Turned out that my cousin picked 7 July for his wedding day and he managed to get a venue. We've been waiting for each other to get married for a long time and then now we can't attend each other's wedding. :( Because of the Chinese pantang thing of "2 happy occasions" cannot clash.

A long time friend, Patrick, called me 2 days ago. We don't keep in tiuch very regularly, only once in a blue moon but we're good with each other. Chiewz and I have been waiting for him to get hitched for the longest time and then voila, he had to also pick 7 July for his wedding date too. So now I can't attend his wedding too :((((

*wails*

YAY!

真的感谢YL。上个星期五她跟我说她会跟新公司谈一谈， 看她能不能够迟一点才飞去香港受训。 她真的做到了！ 公司让她在23July才飞， 原本是16July的。

Feeling really grateful. Hope she doesn't feel too tired out though for she'll be busy almost the whole day on 22 July and then she's to fly in the early morning of 23 July. Feeling a little paiseh now too though.

嗨。。。

我是不是真的该去冲花水？刚接到消息， 其中一个姐妹(for the wedding)有可能不能当我的姐妹了。 她刚换了新工作， 公司想派她到香港受训三个星期。我的婚礼也刚好在这三个星期内。

原本就少了两个姐妹， 如果现在又少了多一个， 我觉得我会挺失望的。而且， 这个姐妹也刚好是我的司仪。。。

sigh. things don't seem very straightforward and easy this year.

为什么呢? 我以为猴子和龙在生肖里是好朋友， 今年对我来说应该是好的一年才对啊。 为什么有那么多这些大小起伏?

Mini garden

It's been awhile since I spoke of my plants.

As you can see from the picture, the pot of Bowles' Mint is thriving. After the initial 1-2 months of stabilisation after transplanting in end 2011, the plant has flourished. Many new shoots have appeared from the main stem and the main plant itself is growing taller and taller. When I last measured it a few weeks ago, it was only at my waist. When I measured it last night, I realised it's at my chest height already! It's getting quite wobbly as well because of its height. The support sticks I placed in the pot are no longer sufficient and I have half a mind to lop off the top 20-30cm of the plant and transplant it into a new pot. Perhaps I'll do it this weekend if I manage to find some time.

The rest of the plants are doing fine. The Basil was doing alright and had new shoots coming out as well. But it has suddenly been dropping leaves in the last week or so and I don't know why. The Bryophyllum's starting to have little new leaves growing out from the edge of some of the existing leaves! Yay finally! The Ficus Ginseng Bonsai is stable too.

The only one problem I had was with one of the terrariums which somehow became infested with ants. It was an open-air terrarium and the little red creatures burrowed through the soil all the way down into the deepest end of the pot. I could see them forming tunnels underneath the surface of the soil and running along the tunnels because the whole pot was made of transparent glass.

That was the first terrarium I had ever created back in 2009. It was a maddening time and I spent a whole week trying to save the pot. Each time I thought I had gotten rid of the ants, each time they came back in full force. And when they started chewing through the bottom-most leaves of the red and green fittonias I had in that pot, it was the final straw for me. I dismantled the entire pot after work one night. And spent the next few hours re-building a new one. I remember only sleeping in the wee hours of the morning that night.

It has been almost 2 weeks since the new terrarium was set-up and the plants have still not settled down. They are still a little limp but what is heartening is that I can see through the walls of the pot that some roots have started growing again. I hope the plants anchor down more fimly and stabilise themselves soon.

In the meantime, my mum has been spraying insecticide in the balcony (where my plants are) on an alternate-day basis. Ants have almost disappeared except for the occassional 2 or 3 running around.

Wonder if I should try growing coriander again since my last 2 attempts have failed....hmm.