Rambling

A project idea was “sold” to the boss and painted in a pretty, rosy, cloudy picture. A picture which hid all the flaws, cracks and inconsistencies of the project. You were roped in at the beginning to help the project proposer do up some initial work to bid for the project. That person skived and you ended up doing the work. The boss knew what was going on and when the project was finally awarded to your company, the boss decided to pass the project on to you. That was 2 years ago.

2 years on. Sure, you learn some things and it builds you up. Hopefully your character, intelligence and acumen builds up as well.

And you’re still stuck with a non-viable screwed-up project. Maximum effort and minimum returns for the company. Brand exposure for the company is good, but not when it dents your bank balance so much. When the project concludes and the funds outflow is more than what was meant to be? Whose head will be on the chopping block? The project manager or the boss? The initial project proposer has long before wiped his hands clean of things. Bollocks.

There’s still slightly more than 6 more months to go. Things are heating up as the project approaches its climax. There are more and more people to answer to. Your bosses. External stakeholders. Vendors who are trying to play with you.

You’re feeling more frustrated now and at a loss. Trapped in a cage. With bright lights shining on you from all sides of the cage. You can’t seem to do anything but just stare blindly into the lights with wide-eyed terror and confusion. Fight or flight? Or freeze?

Fight? Clawing through. No arrow to follow, just scrambling in a wayward direction, hoping it’s for the best.

Yes, hope. That’s all you have now. And your claws, or what’s left of them.