Losing some zen

Tigers and Monkeys are directly  opposite each other in the Chinese Zodiac. As such, people of these signs apparently don't get along with each other. 

I find it somewhat true, especially in my relationships with Tigers born in 1974. While things are generally ok, sometimes situations get a little testy. I'm fine with older Tigers though, maybe with age comes more tolerance as well and they are more toned down compared to their younger counterparts. 

Just had a testy conversation with a teammate. Well, at least I found it testy, my hackles were slightly raised, tone of voice was different from normal though I still kept a restrained, neutral face. 

Lun. Maybe it's just me who's been a little impatient and quick to fly off the handle this week. Maybe I should manage myself (and my surge of hormones) more. 

Laugh of the Day

My in-house legal counsel just realized that I'm pregnant. Lol and he has seen me on several occasions in the last few months, at least 5-6 times, if not more. It took him so long to realize and he called himself a dimwit hahaa.

Les Moutons

Found these pics online and I think they're hilariously cute.

Breathe in, breathe out

Bad Monday so far.

Bad jam in the morning. 1h15mins on the bus made me quite queasy. 

Then HR told me "too bad, public holidays during your maternity leave won't be compensated for." There's at least 3 days of PH during my ML. That's half a week!!

And then the bloody Yong tau fu stall got my lunch order very wrong. Redid my order and but then found out that they shortchanged me 2 items. NB. 

Breathe in, breathe out. 

Granny

Came by to see granny and found her in such an odd sleeping position. Well, whatever makes her comfy. :)

The nurses just applied moisturizing lotion all over her. I appreciate that as it helps keep her skin hydrated and not so dry. When her skin gets too dry, it gets itchy and she scratches herself, more often than not with too much strength and then her skin breaks and sometimes festers into small sores, which bring her even more discomfort. 

She has not called my name since the start of this year. In fact, she's not called nor recognized any of us since then as well. Breaks my heart. I think Dad feels upset about it as well but tries not to show it too much.

When I started to show a few months back, I told her that I'm pregnant with her great-grandchild and got her to feel my belly. I hoped she understood it then. She could still catch our gazes at that point in time. Now when I'm bigger, she doesn't even want to look at us at all and usually just sleeps. Even when having her lunch, her eyes are mostly closed. 

Right now, she's just staring into space and not responding when I try to speak to her. She just nods but she doesn't really register anything. 

And lately, according to the nurses, she's taken to biting things. She just chewed her pillowcase. It's really a second childhood of sorts, she's like a teething baby now. 

Sigh. When LB is old enough to be brought out, I'll bring her to see her great-grandmother first. And we'll definitely need to take a picture with my Dad as well, 4 generations in one pic. Yes, that has to be done. 

Need. To. Vent. And. Rant.

Met alot of fucking idiots on the bus today. Maybe it's a suay day. Simply cannot believe it. People vacated their seats for me only to have others rush to take the seats instead. Like WTH?? Happened twice somemore. And no, just because you're a foreigner doesn't mean you can act blur.

Wasn't feeling well and decided to catch a cab home. Spent 15mins calling and calling but couldn't get a single one. Took the bus instead and ended up meeting these ridiculous people and then now I'm caught in a bloody jam. 

Wah lan eh. Sibei dulan.

There, I feel better already. 

Introverts

Interesting article about introverts and their common traits.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/introverts-signs-am-i-introverted_n_3721431.html

 

While reading the article, I identified myself with around 12-15 of these traits. Showed up in my MBTI profiling as well. Double confirm! I am definitely bigger majority introvert, tiny minority extrovert.

Extracted for convenient reading. The 23 common traits of introverts.

1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.

2. You go to parties – but not to meet people.
3. You often feel alone in a crowd.
4. Networking makes you feel like a phony.
5. You've been called "too intense."
6. You're easily distracted.
7. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.
8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.
9. When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.
10. You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long.
11. You're in a relationship with an extrovert.
12. You'd rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.
13. You actively avoid any shows that might involve audience participation.
14. You screen all your calls -- even from friends.
15. You notice details that others don't.
16. You have a constantly running inner monologue.
17. You have low blood pressure.
18. You’ve been called an “old soul” – since your 20s.
19. You don't feel "high" from your surroundings
20. You look at the big picture.
21. You’ve been told to “come out of your shell.”
22. You’re a writer.
23. You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity.

Have you eaten??

Lol this was a lame conversation I just had with a colleague. I had gone to dabo lunch and was on the way back to office when I met him at the lift lobby.

Him: eh hello! 你吃饱了啊？

Me: oh no lah. 刚刚去打包而以。

Him: orh, 我以为你吃饱了。因为你看起来很饱，肚子这样大！

Me: ah?? .......-_-"  你很lame leh!!!

Warm Morning

Feeling less cool and calm these 2-3 days. Maybe I'm getting warmer. 

Was a little annoyed that I missed my bus this morning simply because I couldn't cross the road in time to catch my bus on the other side of the road. So near, yet so far. 

And then I realized I might have been more than a little annoyed because I was muttering "big f*ck, f*ck, f*ck...." under my breathe lol. 

In any case, calmed myself down in a few minutes by camwhoring. 

Sidenote: Ally's down with cough and a bad throat, PQ had a bad throat yesterday too. And this morning I woke with a bad throat too. I don't think bad throats can be "spread" by whatsapp hor? Lol

mid-day rant

Any public servant not at an admin level would understand the pain involved in doing minuting.

It's alright if you're assigned to do minuting for matters you are familiar with. But when you're arrowed to undertake minuting responsibilities for things completely out of your scope and depth, it's almost sheer torture.

The acronyms involved, the various parties and divisions involved, the way everyone speaks so quickly or mumble their way through, the scramble to jot down things you don't understand nor have an inkling about, the rush to deliver the notes of meeting within the next 2 days......Plus, because you are not familiar with the subjects discussed, you cannot catch the subtle nuances of the bosses who are reporting the issues on hand.

I was frustrated this morning during the 1.5hr meeting. I only understood 15% of it. The rest of the time I was feeling confused, lost and tired. And it didn't help that LB was having a ball of a time kicking and squirming around quite alot. She must have been excited at hearing new voices lol.

Anyway, enough of ranting. Back to my drafting of minutes.......boooo.

Heaviest I've ever been

Stepped on the scale this morning.

It's official, I've crossed 58kg. My guesstimate is that I'll hit 61-62kg by the time I'm due. 

Wonder how heavy Little Baby is right now. Jiayou with the growing LB! 

Beefy lunch today

Stocking up on iron and protein and eating more beef these days since we seldom have red meat at home. :) 

Food glorious food

能吃是福！

Realized that my pregnancy cravings are mainly: tomato-based pasta, hor fun, toasted bread, pork floss bun, cheeseburger and filet-o-fish. If chye tow kueh were easily accessible and not so oily, I think I'll be having alot of it as well lol.

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Looking forward to having my fill these last couple of weeks before I get stuck at home with confinement and plain foods...

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Maybe I should start planning my daily lunch meals so that I get the most kick out of it! hee...

Snippets from Parwin's wedding reception

This was on 10 Aug. 

Walking around in a sari is challenging. Walking around in a sari with a pregnant belly is doubly challenging lol. 

Loved the bling on the sari though the colour didn't suit me that well. Would have loved being in cyan/aquamarine or black! :))

Unfortunately I don't have any pics of the bride on my phone! Couldn't get good angles from where I was sitting. 

Breathe...

Slightly frazzled. Had a bad dream last night. 

Dreams are common for pregnant women. But some of mine can be a little disturbing at times.

Deep breaths. Need to stay zen.

Amidst everything.

Déjeuner avec Cher

I first met Cher when I joined her French class back in 2007. That’s 6 years already and we’ve had our share of fun moments with the rest of the Frenchies.

She’s a real cool lady even though she’s at least 15 years older than most of us.

 

She came by my office to have lunch with me yesterday. Said something about having to meet up at least once before I deliver haha.  Thoroughly enjoyed lunch with her and I really appreciated her swinging by. Simple meals can be made even more wonderful if you’ve the right company with you. :)

 

Merci beaucoup Cher, pour un déjeuner agréable et amusant! :)

Hehe

Awesomeness is when your mother-in-law buys you green tea KitKat. :D

无影脚

Yep, she's a feisty one.

Dr Tan was using his scanner on me yesterday afternoon. She must have hated being poked by the scanner and kicked back several times. Lol it was quite funny because he was trying to measure the length of her femur and she was kicking so furiously he couldn't get a reading at all.

He had to stop for a few seconds before trying again.

Keep growing well little one. :)

Thoughts

Self-doubt occasionally reaches out even to the best of us.

I’m just a normal girl and reservations about my own abilities float into my thoughts from time to time. More in recent days and I think it’ll be on my mind even more so as October draws nearer.

October. That’s when Little Baby arrives.

So what’s on my mind now? Plenty.

Will the wound hurt alot from the C-section? Can I manage holding her and feeding her without wincing in pain from the wound?

Will I produce enough milk? Can I handle breastfeeding? What if she doesn’t latch on? How the hell do I know if she’s had enough?

What if I run out of patience and feel like slapping her when she cries uncontrollably? Will I scream at her? Will I shout at her?

Will I be able to bathe and clean her properly? What if she inherits my not-so-good body constitution instead of her father’s robustness?

Will I be a good mother? Can I handle things? Can I handle her?

Will I be able to inculcate good values in her as she grows older? Will I be able to set a good example for her to emulate? Will I bring her up well?

I’d like to think I am not the only one to think or feel this way whether as a soon-to-be mother or a new mother. Or maybe some mothers questions themselves even when their kids have grown up.

Whatever it is, come what may, I’ll be winging it and doing the best I can.

Of course, with K charging on by my side as well. :)

Touched

I take the bus to work each day. The bus-stop is a distance away from my office and now that the belly's getting bigger, I usually take a short rest at a bench along the way.

I was sitting there this morning and an Indian lady in her 20s walked past me. I might have been panting or rubbing my belly for she did an about-turn and asked me if I was ok or needed any help. 

So sweet of her to check on me. *touched* Really appreciate her early morning kindness! Many people walk past me each morning when I'm sitting at that bench but none has ever done what she did. 

Argh

Bringing my water bottle out and realizing  I'd forgotten to fill it with water seems a common thing these days.

But I brought my blurness/stupidity/absentminded-ness to a whole new level just now.

I closed the car door on my own right hand earlier on. 

Luckily my left hand was doing the closing and it wasn't done using full force. Otherwise, the hurt to my right hand would have been much worse. 

Still, the top of my right hand's aching a little now and reddish. 

Argh.

Hitting the Big Three

The first time it happened was in 2010, the year I turned 30. I didn't think much of it then. Sure, it was a milestone in the story of my life but I didn't think about it much. At least not till I realized that more wrinkles started appearing, my dark eye circles became darker, dreaded cellulite started appearing and my stamina was no longer what it used to be.

And now I've hit the big three again. Another milestone in the story of my life. A special, significant one. And I should add, a special chapter in the story of K's life and the story of Little Baby's life too. :) 

Yep, we've hit 30 weeks. Another 8 weeks or so before LB leaves her dim, cushioned, watery, bubbly world and enters our world, one full of sights and sounds and other glorious things for her to explore. 

Grow well for now LB and be a healthy, happy, normal, big and strong baby! (Well um, not too big though lol) 

Parwin's wedding

Random shots from Parwin's wedding. First time ever attending a Sikh wedding :) Here's wishing her and Desh a blessed and blissful marriage! 

Hypocrisy

Colleague A complains to me from time to time about Colleague B.
"She talks bullshit. She always wants to win. She acts like she knows it all. She talks big. She's this....She's that....."

But then acts all chummy with that Colleague B in person. Giggling and gossiping together and walking to the MRT together after work.

Oh well, hypocrisy is everywhere I guess.

Not so good a Monday morning

Written at 940am.

Half wet dress, damp hair, wet shoes, wet legs, wet feet, wet arms, wet bag.  

Quite dislike the icky, squishy, mushy and mucky feeling of wet feet in wet shoes. With a few grains of dirt and sand thrown in the mix.

Reached office and added my dripping wet umbrella to the already existing row of wet umbrellas behind my desk. Boss came by and gave a chirpy quip: “Wah you all selling umbrellas ah?!”

I chose to ignore him. In fact, no one else bothered to reply him also. We don’t drive boss, we take the public transport and are subject to the elements of weather boss….

Spent 10-15mins cleaning and drying myself and the rest of my items up.

Ok, enough of early morning bitching. Time to get down to work….

Ganbatte on a cold morning!!!