Had a talk with N last night. A heartfelt one. Been a long long time since I had such a talk with her.
And I felt strangely at peace while talking to her. I was not judgemental, I was not impatient, I was not trying hard to quell my own bad feelings.
She spoke most of the time. About how annoyed she was with A, how her parents (yes she referred to her parents in 3rd person form even though I was there) were biased against her, how everyone loves the younger one but does not like the older one, etc. She talked about how A is good in class, is a teacher's pet, is a Brownie and is a prefect, how A seems better at most things, etc. How it is unfair that sometimes A annoys her and starts an argument but the one getting scolded in the end is not A but N, etc...She spoke on how she wanted to scold cuss words at home but could not, how she wanted to throw things or hit something but could not.
I understood her 委屈, frustrations, anger and annoyance. I shared some anecdotes on how she could vent or let out her frustrations, etc. Also shared how she should not do anything to hurt or injure herself in the process....
Inwardly, I felt I could have done better as a parent...sigh...to minimise feelings of "comparisons", to be there for each of them in my own ways, etc...I will try...
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