........

When you are still plagued by doubts, uncertainties and worries.
It is strange. I was worried too about making big chances when I was younger but I guess stakes were lower then with no commitments (except to self). My worries were not so great and my adrenalin and bravado (or foolhardiness) was much higher then. I was also more carefree and just went with the flow. I didn't hem and haw so much...

Stakes are higher now? With kids, with own age and health to consider, etc.

I think I am just muddling myself up.
Again.