I had a Dream

I woke at 530am to feed Little Baby. She went back to sleep after having her tummy filled and I headed back to sleep as well. Catching every little bit of sleep is important to us these days.

In that short 45minutes, I had a dream which I woke from feeling a mixture of sadness and happiness.

I dreamt I was in a big big house with lush gardens surrounding it. The grounds of the house even had a stable for horses. I was walking around outside and decided to go back into the house. I went in from the backdoor which led directly to the kitchen.

And when I stepped into the warm cosy kitchen, there they were, seated at a rectangular wooden table which had been pushed against a wall.

My Aunt (who is still very much alive by the way), my grandmother and my grand-aunt. The three of them, chatting away in English and our Peranakan lingo. They were happy. When I stepped in, my grandmother turned slightly my way and gave me a small nod to acknowledge my presence though the other two didn’t. After that nod, she went back to their conversation.

My grandmother looked healthy and happy. She was not too thin and looked like how she was back in 2007, 2008 or even 2009, when she was still using her walking frame to shuffle around. I remember seeing her pink walking frame in the dream. It was folded up and placed against a wall in a corner of the kitchen.

She was dressed in one of her brown multi-print blouses and her usual black pants. And she was wearing her gold-rimmed specs. She was her wrinkly self but when she smiled or laughed in her conversation her eyes sparkled and her cheeks bunched up.

I don’t remember much about how my grand-aunt was in the dream. Her back was facing me but I could hear her voice and I could see her permed white hair, full and proudly coiffed. But she sounded excited, happy and chirpy for sure. She let out one of her chuckles in the dream.

I don’t remember anything else after that. The dream probably ended there. 

I hope this is their way of telling me that they are together now in whatever place they are at and that they are doing well and are happy. 

Today happens to be the 133rd day after Gran's passing.