Thursday, April 17, 2014

The Proceedings I - Saturday 12 April 2014

Dad, Adrian and Aunt were at the Singapore Casket on Saturday morning handling all the administrative proceedings. From choosing the colour of the coffin to choosing the type of floral arrangements to the type of backdrop to use to the type of catering and snacks and drinks to have, they settled all of that.

I was in charge of the orbituary and went home to do it up and prepare her photo for publishing. It was a rush. In between taking care of Nadya and trying to shower myself, I tried to settle Mama’s orbituary.

By the time I settled things and reached the Singapore Casket premises, it was after lunch around 2pm.

The room had already been set up. The floral stands were there, the candles were there, Jesus and a large gold cross adorned the backdrop, and her coffin was there, right amongst the flowers.

Her coffin was white. It looked pure. The flowers were carnations. White carnations interspersed with pink ones for contrast and some colour. The candles were white as well. I thought the staff did a good job. The set-up looked quite good, pure and pristine.

She looked different however. Strange actually. Her hair was slicked back and kept in place with gel. That was not how she styled her hair when she was still mobile last time. She had on light make-up and a somewhat reddish shade of lipstick. I’d never ever seen her wear lipstick in all my 34 years of existence. We all agreed that the lipstick was somewhat too red and glossy and possibly garish. We requested for it to be toned down. The staff did a good job of toning the colour down to a more natural shade of coral pink. I felt it was still a little too glossy though but did not say anything.

She was dressed in her lavender pink kebaya top with diamante kerosang to hold it in place. Her sarong was brown with purple, white and blue accents. And she was wearing her blue Scholl sandals. Her hands were clasped together above her tummy and her rosary was strung between her fingers. She had her dentures put in and looked at peace.

By then, Dad and Aunt had notified all relatives. They started arriving in trickles from mid-afternoon onwards. In ones or twos or small goups of three or four. More swung by in the evening and at night.

We were kept busy with the relatives and trying to arrange for a sea burial (her wishes which she stated  a long time ago), trying to get a pastor down for a service prayer, trying to proof read and finalise the orbituary advertisement, trying to confirm the sea burial boat charter and timing and trying to confirm the catering arrangements for the next few days.

I was in charge of managing the contributions from visitors to the wake as well. My cousin and I took turns for this.

People paid their respects and mostly, time was spent chatting to relatives and friends. It was some sort of gathering and a time for catching up, especially for relatives whom we have not seen for a long long time.

Amongst the mundane chatter was a highlight that brought me much smiles. TH and Diana popped by and they shared with me that they were engaged already. I saw her beautiful ring. But apparently she was not too happy with the way TH did his proposal. Too pragmatic. Too practical. I think the older he gets the more he loses touch of his romantic side. So typical of him. Anyway, I was very happy for them. I think they make a very good couple.

Mum had just touched down from Korea that night at 1015pm. When she texted Dad to say that she had landed, Dad immediately called her and broke the news.

It was 1130pm by the time I got home that night. I missed the little girl a lot but didn’t get a chance to see her till the next morning.

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