Baking time

Things I do when I'm on home leave now preparing myself for Peanut's arrival in 2 weeks' time....

I'm not good at baking. Most things I bake turn out below expectations lol. From brownies to muffins to focaccia bread and chicken pie. 

I think the only thing I can bake is shepherds pie. But that is closer to cooking a normal dish than baking pastries and cakes. 

So anyway, the thought hit me to clear some of the stuff I have in my kitchen and  I ended up baking after lunch. Attempted a small batch of Choc chip and raisin muffins. 

They turned out a little too hard at the top, I think I need to lower my temperature a little. There was not enough oil and not enough sugar too though these are arguable. Maybe the recipe I followed was a healthy option recipe haha. 

But still a better attempt than the previous time I tried making muffins haha. 

Pics for posterity. Gonna let the little girl try one muffin tonight. She's my worst food critic so I'm keeping my fingers crossed lol. 

You can tell the tops are too brown and hard...when they should have been fluffier-looking!

My half-eaten choc chip and raisin muffin. :) 

Colouring

Completed my second piece which was a free flowing visual spanning across 2 pages. A much better effort this time compared to the initial piece. Kept it simple and colour coordinated most of the time without incorporating too many elements and colours. Kept details simple and only did more gradients and shadows. :) Satisfied with this piece. Ok onward to the 3rd piece!

Full piece

Right side

Left side 

Of cooking competitions, the American culture and parenting

I caught an episode of MasterChef Junior Season 3. 

The kids come from different US states and were put together in the competition. The oldest was 13 and the youngest was only 8. They definitely impressed me with their culinary skills. They sautéed, flambe-ed, baked, roasted, caramelised, julienned, chopped, layered, etc...and what have you. They all made pasta from scratch. And pasta sauces from scratch. They made gorgeous desserts of restaurant quality and even presented/plated their dishes beautifully. Puts me to shame man lol. 

But well, culinary skills aside, what struck me most was some of their attitudes and character attributes. 

Most of us know that people in the US can be loud and brash. Many of them, not all but I think many of them, possess a level of confidence way higher than an average Asian person. Some are so confident that other cultures see them as being boastful, arrogant, loud, overbearing and over-the-top. Some cultures feel their heads have gotten too big and that they think too highly of themselves, to the point of being a little delusional and having a superiority complex. Mind you, being self-assured and being confident are two different things. 

So anyway, seeing how some of those children carried themselves and how they spoke on the show, it is apparent that a lot of kids in the US are brought up with this "I am good, better than the rest, I am best!" mentality since young. They are probably encouraged to think the best of themselves, have high self-worth and to be confident. No matter what. 

A 10-year old girl on the show unhesitatingly declared herself a better cook than her parents, even though they were the ones who taught her how to cook. She batted her lids, crossed her arms haughtily and said she would go on to "win this competition since I am the best and because I have been at it (cooking) since I was 4!". It was an irony though, for she was eliminated in the first episode itself. 

I cannot imagine a child from Singapore or maybe Japan or Hong Kong saying the same thing. 

Asians are afterall, more subtle. Humility features high on the values scale and some Asian cultures even favour self-deprecation. 

To me, confidence is a good thing. Quiet confidence that is. Coupled with an understanding and appreciation of the self. "In-your-face" confidence (or over-confidence? Or arrogance?) is too much for me. I'd feel turned off. 

Food for thought. 

I'd want my kids to grow up to be confident and self-assured people. But nothing over-the-top. They still need to stay grounded, be humble and not let things get to their heads.

Then and Now

I was in a sentimental, nostalgic mood last night. I trawled through some of the older photos I was tagged in last time on Facebook. Some from way back in 2007.

岁月不扰人

I looked so much younger even back in 2010 and 2011, a mere 4 or 5 years ago. I looked more refreshed and my eyes were brighter too. I was slimmer then of course haha. But I guess what I had then  also was more vigour and energy, more zest and maybe a generally lighter and happier feel. 

Zip forward to 2015. More eye bags, more wrinkles, duller skin. Time and age has caught up. :) I look more tired in general and more....I don't know how to put it. More mature. More experienced. Less fresh-faced and doe-eyed. And...less happy-go-lucky. 

Maybe motherhood and more responsibilities played a part too. :) 

I was looking at my friends as well, those who happened to be in my photos as well. We've all grown older...no longer the bunch of folks who drink and have the occasional visit to a club together. 

大家都老了几年。比往年多了白发，多了皱纹，多了经验，多了见识。

I wonder how it'll be in the year 2020 when I look back at my current 2015 pictures. :) 

Go Away!

Slightly scratchy throat and itchy eyes.
I'm already breathless from time to time because of the pregnancy. Now there's more stuff in the air that's making it harder to take in deep clean breaths.

Haze ah haze, please go away soon ok...

Feeling tired

I slept from 315-500pm this afternoon. Was doing some colouring till my eyes 不争气 and fell shut on me. 

It's 1030pm now and I am already more than sleepy.

Seems Peanut is zapping away much of my energy today. Belly feels rather stretched and heavier than usual today. Growth spurt? 

2 more weeks. 

Jiayou. 

Laoniang

Laoniang had planned out this entire week's meals already. And even gave herself a pat on the back. 

Laoniang is a smug one.

Until now when Laoniang suddenly realised that Friday is polling day i.e. Little Baby is staying at home cos her school will be closed. Which means Laoniang forgot to plan what to cook for her meals for that day....

Ok Laoniang not so smug now. :((((

Laoniang racking her brains on what to make for the little girl...who is turning out to be a fussy eater. 

(How did she turn out to be a somewhat fussy eater when her parents are foodies ah??)

Dr Chee

I was watching Dr Chee Soon Juan's full speech that he gave on 3 Sept at the SDP rally at Choa Chu Kang.

Charismatic, cheeky at some points, passionate, clear and convincing.

I thought he spoke well. Very well. Better than many other candidates from both the incumbent and other opposition parties. A force to contend with?

Perhaps. Maybe that was why the pants was sued off him by the incumbent all those years ago. Maybe that's why he was incarcerated, not once but several times.

I don't know much about him then and not even now.
I only knew what the media painted of him last time. That he was a mad man, a vile creature who spouted incorrigible untruths about the men in white, and hence, a hot-headed crazy barking man who would be better off locked up and put away. For the good of the people.

Maybe his methods were too radical and in your face at that point in time.
Maybe he was too passionate about his cause. Maybe he tried shoving his ideals down the wrong throats. He certainly ended up with bile, very vile bile, all over him then.
He was made a bankrupt, he was locked up and he had to stay away from the scene for more than a decade.

Maybe time and family has mellowed him down much over the years.
Maybe he has had time to rethink everything. He seems more grounded now.
More restrained. More steady and stable.

I have to give it to him. The passion and fire remains.
To be thrown onto the ground and stomped on. And then to get up, dust yourself off, re-strategise and come back fighting again. It takes alot of guts, gumption, courage, committment and passion.

While I may be a neutral party in terms of Singapore's politics, while I may not be particularly supportive of any party per se, I do wish him well.

Morning thoughts

Some meaningful excerpts from an article that appeared in the Straits Times today.
No need for the entire article to be reproduced here for the crux of the article is captured by the below......

=================
Bad things don't mess you up but how you view them can

"Events do not disturb people - their judgments about them do."

" It is our emotional responses to events, rather than the events themselves, that make us anxious and depressed."

"Healthy thoughts are direct responses to the events themselves. Unhealthy thoughts are focused on your own perceived inadequacy and ill-luck, or the unfairness of life."

"Assume that most times when you feel anxious, depressed or angry, you are not only strongly desiring but also commanding that something go well and that you get what you want."

"Very often, prolonged negative feelings arise not so much because of what does happen, but because we torment ourselves needlessly with thoughts of what should, ought to and must happen.

=================

I need some serious fixing of mindset.

Very often you read these articles, recognise the negative traits mentioned within as what you have as well, and agree wholeheartedly that you need to change...

Recognition and admittance of where you need to improve is one thing. It is the deliberate execution and constant reminder to yourself to follow through with the change that is key I suppose.

Interestingly, motherhood has helped in some ways. But I need to do more....

Om Nom Nom?

At this moment...craving for:

- Cheng ting. Cold. 

- Cha soba. Cold.

- Plain prata. With fish curry.

- Tosted white bread. With salted butter. 

- Filet o'fish. 

But too lazy to make any toasted bread or cha soba though I have them at home. 

Hmm....


Update:
K made toasted bread for me in the end hehe. Thank you baby....
But after I had that piece of buttered toast....I was still feeling restless and needing to munch somemore. But it was late already....I ended up just guzzling some milk and then surfing the Net...lol.

I wish!

Wished I looked as glam as these two preggies....

In reality, I think I am more like this.....

Unkempt hair (in all areas)
Be-spectacled.
Protruding belly (and belly-button) which seems to pop out from my home clothes too often for my liking.
Shorts sliding off my bum because the belly is pushing it way down....
Grouchy pimpled face (ok granted the pic above has a smiley face...I couldn't find a grumpy and pimpled cartoon of a pregnant lady lol).
Darkened skin in some areas.
Dark linea nigra appeared a few weeks ago...


Did I just share too much information?
Bah....don't care....already unglam....I can write unglam stuff in here too....

Voila....last 2.5 weeks....

And so, here I am. 36 weeks along.

It is the 7th of September. A Monday.
I am on 2 weeks official medical leave given by my gynae. Thereafter would be the week of the scheduled csec.

Where did all the time go?? I thought I just peed on the stick and saw the positive sign like what.... yesterday??

I do feel like a whale now. A whale with aches and pains. Neck, shoulder, backside, upper arms, lower back, lower calves, groin, fingers.....you name it.

Trying to clear some remnant work items. Trying to relax at home before D-day comes.
Trying to stay upbeat. Trying to not think about things.

I still feel like a first-time mom.
Sheesh. 

Of Little Baby, parenting and.....panting

Little Baby has been cranky of late. The last 3 days at least.

A small thing would trigger her fussiness and crankiness. Case in point: she has several water bottles. Bring her the "wrong one" when she's in one of her moods and you will trigger a partial meltdown, sometimes a full meltdown.

She has also been waking in the middle of the night screaming and kicking. Night terrors at work? Perhaps. Sometimes her eyes are shut. But eventually she will open them and continue with her antics. There was once when she requested for barley water and cheese. At 130am in the morning. Refuse her and she descends even further into her screams and bawls and kicks and what-have-you.

It is rather embarassing too, to know that your child's screams have pierced the otherwise still night. And more likely than not the entire block and the entire neighbouring block is hearing your child scream. At 130am in the morning.

One tough thing about this whole thing is that, she is refusing K at night. She is quick to say "Don't want Dada." And if he still stays within her line of sight, she can't pull herself out of her crying fit. I would then step in and try to defuse the situation. Sometimes I can do it within several minutes and she calms down enough to fall back to sleep. Sometimes it takes much much longer with much more effort..read: maybe an hour or more.

The other tough thing about all this is that, I am tired. Rather tired.

I'm into my 36th week. I feel like a whale.

I huff and puff and pant more than half the time. And then I pant somemore. The insides of my nostrils are getting more swollen, the blood vessels there are getting more swollen. It makes for heavier breathing just to get the same amount of air into my lungs. Hence, the huffing and panting.

I can't sleep well too. When Little Baby woke at 4am last night, she fussed but we were lucky for it was only for a short while. I thought it was good that it was a short episode and that I could probably get back to sleep quickly. I was wrong....I ended up tossing and turning for what seemed like a long time. Coupled with the warm weather and hazy skies...I was mildly irritated. I was half tempted to just pull myself out of bed and clear some remaining office work.

I hope these last 2-3 weeks before Peanut's arrival will be smooth-going.

Jiayou Little Baby.
Jiayou K.
Jiayou me....

Conversations with an almost 23-month old

We were looking through a book of cats. 

Me: Wow, look at the cat! Its tail is so long! Nadya, do you have a tail? 

N: No, no tail, backside only. 

Lol lol lol. 

============

K, Nadya and I were on our bed, just rolling and lazing around when she let out a fart. 

Me: Who farted? (Actually I was speaking to N but K answered)

K: She.

Me (speaking to N): Nadya, who farted?

N: She. 

So yep, she's a parrot these days...lol

....

有些话是空说的吗??

Conversations with an almost 23-month old

Nadya's lately taken to stopping K midway through his singing.
I find it hilarious the way she does it....you have to be there to witness it to know what I mean...
In the meantime, here's the "transcript" lol...


K: *singing*  Hush little baby, don't say a word...Mama's going to buy you a .......
N: *holds up one hand near K's face, palm open, fingers outstretched, arm ramrod straight*
N: Stop! Dada stop! Dada stop sing!

K: errr.....*continues singing*.....buy you a mockingbird...if that mockingbird won't sing.....
N: *more insistent*  Dada STOP! Dada no song. Dada stop sing song!
N: Mama sing! Mama sing song.

K: ok lor...
Me: err...ok...*starts singing the song*

N: *gives a small grunt of approval*  mmm.


And then she settles down on her bed...haha.
So our little girl is now dictating who sings what.....

La Coeur et L'esprit

发觉最近心胸又变得狭窄一些
需常常提醒自己
心胸要懂得放大一点，要学会放宽一点

Go Go Go!

I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. Somehow, when I am going on leave very soon (tomorrow is my last day in office), then important things come in.

My covering officers will have to bear the bulk of the work to be done.

Why do I ask if it is a good or bad thing?

Good because I can "siam".

Bad because...it doesn't reflect that well on me and.....I am donating away some bonus $$ to some of these covering officers lol.

And bad because I have a feeling that even when I am on leave, I will still get calls, texts or emails regarding some of these important issues. 

Oh well...take it as it comes.

我是 superwoman!!
Go Go Go!

Finally

Completed this piece...on hindsight, it seems a little gaudy haha. Maybe I'll tone it down for the next piece. Overall, good effort for a first piece I think!

Ahhhhh...

We finally got ourselves our own balcony table and chairs several weeks ago. 

Am on MC today. Feels good clearing work emails while having breakfast in the balcony. 

A neighbour is playing the piano. Thank you neighbour for providing me with some background music. 

Morning birds are up and about, chirping in the skies and in the trees below. 

The sun is getting stronger though, but some clouds have blocked it so I don't get the brunt of the sun's rays.

Good morning world!

Gambatte Michelle! 

And K, and Nadya and Peanut!