a state of being

I am by nature a pessimistic, melancholic person. Moodiness is not a cloak I wear all the time but when it arrives, it usually hits full force and I feel like my mind is an epicenter setting off waves of tumultuous angry ripples throughout myself.

Negativity sometimes seems to ooze from my pores.

I have mellowed though, over the years. Or so I would like to believe. Guided by others who seem to be able to take things easy in a better way.

Still, from time to time, it gets to me. Like a week or two earlier when I found myself crying in my room late at night. It felt good though, in a strange way, to have my chest heave with sobs and my eyes get puffy and my nose get runny. Perhaps it really is alright to let things out once in a while. Clears the system maybe.

Tonight is another such night. No tears though, or yet. Just a general feeling of morosity and sadness. Sadness at the realisation that maybe it's been quite awhile since I felt truly _____.

Admiration

Chloe writes beautifully and I wonder how she does it. It seems so effortless for her to string up words together in a wonderful manner and weave them into even lovelier heartfelt passages.

Maybe I should take writing lessons from her. :)

worry

• brain
• eyes
• skin
• teeth
• heart
• fingernail

Apart from the fact that these are all part of a human being's anatomy, there is another commonality amongst the 6 items listed above.

They have all brought me, in one way or another, much cause for concern. Some way more than others, but at the end of the day, it is still worry on the plate for me.

Crabby!!

I've got new pets. Again. :)

A month ago I bought a mini self-sufficient tank which contained 4 micro-mini looking volcanic shrimps. The tank requires minimal care and can be used as a decorative item.

Earlier this afternoon, K & I went to get another tank. We also bought sand substrate, saltwater and special feed. Hehe.....and we got ourselves 2 hermit crabs! :)

I've named one of them as Mr Orange as he's got an orange-tinged pincer and his front two feeler-like antennaes are orange in colour too. The other crab's a dark drab grey with blue-hued pincers. K's supposed to name him and he chose the name Mr Grey. How innovative. He copied me. -_-

Anyway, my dad welcomed the idea of having them as pets. My mum said I was mad and complained about me cluttering up the house with my plants, my shrimp and now this hermit crab tank. Lol...she warned me to stop buying these "things" anymore and nagged about having to help me clean and wipe these "things".

Hmm. Anyway, I think she'll warm up to the crabs. I just need to give her more time. Though she nagged, she was still quite curious about the crabs and was trying to see how they crawled around and how they drank water. :)

Right now the tank's kinda empty with just a bowl of plain water, a bowl of saltwater and a bowl of their dry food pellets. I should look into getting some decorative items soon....for the tank to look less drab and for the crabbies to play around with. :)

The WTO

I was at a function organised by the Singapore Tourism Board yesterday. I was recruited as one of their Conference Ambassadors last year and it was my first time attending a networking event for some of the Ambassadors. Cocktail was held at the ION Sky with some presentations and business stuff going on. Dinner was then held at the Salt Grill and Bar just a floor below.

I did feel a little out of place but during dinner, I found myself seated at a table where there was a very interesting old man. He's in his 50s, talks alot and is so full of energy, passion and enthusiasm I'd seem like a fused lightbulb next to him.

He's none other than Jack Sim, founder of the World Toilet Organisation (WTO).

He seems to have dabbled in anything and everything! Businesses in roof tiles, floor tiles, ballroom partitions, office partitions, etc. He even started the Australian International School and sold it off for a handsome profit some years back. And now he's championing the right to have good, clean toilets everywhere in the world.

It's something to be proud off actually, an organisation started in Singapore but which has spawned off many similar organisations around the world. I didn't know but apparently there's a World Toilet Summit which has been taking place annually since 2004 or 2005. Different countries host it each time.

Mr Sim was rolling off nuggets of "wise words" off his tongue every few minutes. Lol, there were so many I only managed to catch and remember a few:

• We buy the things we don't need, with the money we don't have, to impress the people we don't like. Where's the joy in that? Why get caught up in it?


• What counts cannot be counted. Our kids have been taught in school about grades and marks and competition. They don't know anything about love, courage, compassion, filial piety, graciousness......


• People need to know that life is simple. Why makes things so complex and difficult? Live simply, eat simply. Treat each other well. Everybody is happy.


• How to succeed in business? You must know how to laugh at yourself. Get others to laugh with you too. Once they do that, they'll listen to you.

It's really fun meeting people like that. :)

Meeting people

One thing I like about this job is that it gives me the opportunity to meet new people. I've had the chance to meet people of different nationalities. Some are just one-off meetings, while some have developed into friendships. At the recent event, I met some of the following new people who left an impression on me. I wonder how many will end up just being one-off meetings....my guess is probably 80% haha.

1. Antoinette - a lawyer-cum-business consultant from the Virgin Islands. Looked harsh and fierce but she turned out to be a really nice lady who gave me a huge bear hug at one of the social events.


2. Tobias - a Norwegian guy who reminded me a little of Tom Cruise, though taller haha.


3. Marcus - a German who grew up in South Africa and has been based in Zurich for the last 12 years. He speaks German, Dutch (learned from his aunt), Afrikaans, English and can understand French. Together with Tobias above, we had interesting conversations about food in Singapore, housing in our respective countries, climates, working environments, etc....


4. Dejan - a legal affairs manager from Serbia, who was nice enough to strike up a conversation and when he found me standing alone at a function. I was trying to "siam" and stone in one corner actually hahha.


5. Intan - the boss of one of the Malaysian organisations. Small-sized but spunky. Very energetic and has a great sense of humour, maybe that's why she still looks so young, despite being a mother of four!

Conversation with Granny

Saturday afternoon. As usual, my Dad & I were visiting my Granny. We saw a lady who was on the heavy side walking past us. When she was gone.....

Dad: (to Gran) That lady was fat right?
Gran: Yeah, she was. She was fat.
Me: (points to self and asked Gran) Then me leh?? (does the hand action showing a shapely woman)
Gran: You?? You ah, you're like a cicak kering. HAHA.
Dad: HAHAHAHAH.
Me: -_- ''


For the uninitiated, cicak kering means "dried lizard" in Malay.
I've never been compared to a housepest before. -_- ''

mon bebe

I've not had the chance to announce this. But...K is back from Nice. :)

not fatter, not thinner.
not taller, not shorter.

just that some muscles are smaller now haha.
Oh yes, and his appetite's smaller too. ;p

back in action

I know I've been away from here. :) Both K & Chloe told me so. Strangely, I didn't actually realise that I'd stopped blogging till they told me haha.

Anyway, yes, I have been busy. Very busy. Due to an event that I had a hand in bringing into Singapore. It was on-going from 19 - 24 June and ended on Friday.

And I had another event to attend from 16 - 17 June. And I had a press announcement for one of my projects on 15 June.

The past week was tiring, waking up early to attend the confernce sessions, saying hello to people, having to smile and entertain even if you're tired, small talk, discussions, and more social functions and entertaining to do in the evenings and at night.

Chin up girl

Not doing too good today. Foul mood, high-strung, deadlines, tired and a little emo.

Everything - Wang Lee Hom

Bummer. Can't share the video. nevermind, I;ll just share the lyrics then...

Everything

故事裡的 起承轉合 有一些忘記
做了多少錯誤的選擇

原來波折 才暗示著 該走的方向
指引你我來到這一刻

就算 別人都說 我們沒什麼出息
不可能會這樣輕易放棄

Cause You're My Everything
就一個原因 讓我勇敢面對這個世界
想給你 Everything
不管用多少個明天 永遠從此刻開始算起
你的愛是我的 Everything

遼闊天際 求和相遇 有多少機率
多少煙火 墜落無痕跡

因為幸福 沒有捷徑 難免要繞道
不被看好 越是要走到

就算別人都說 我們沒什麼出息
不可能會這樣輕易放棄

你就是 Everything
就這個原因 讓我勇敢面對這個世界
想給你 Everything
隻要你說一聲願意 所有的未來才有意義
你的愛是我的 Everything

Cause You're My Everything
就這個原因 讓我勇敢面對這個世界
想給你 Everything
不管用多少個明天 永遠從此刻開始算起

你就是 Everything
就如這個原因 我會永遠記住這種感覺
想給你 Everything
隻要你說一聲願意 所有的未來才有意義
你的愛是我的 Everything

生活 la vie

一个简单平凡的生活
une vie simple

真有那么难吗？
est-ce que vraiment si difficile?

我不明白
Je ne comprends pas

为什么不能是直接和容易的事?
pour quoi les choses ne peuvent pas direct et facile?

对我说, 年纪越大, 生活较为复杂
plus je vieillis, plus compliquée la vie me semble

sat & sun

The weekend has come and gone.

Saturday early afternoon was spent visiting Granny as usual. Hung around on my own for quit awhile before PQ fnally got back to me about where and what time to meet. Sigh. Met up with her and then took a cab to Ally's place.

Kyler has grown so much bigger since 2 months ago when I last saw him! Haha, so much chubbier and he's much more fun to play with now. He's making so much more sounds and noises compared to last time. Plus his motor skills are slowly improving and he's learning to grab and hold onto things. I was unfortunately pinched by him a few times....bleah. Oh ya, he slathered me with his saliva too lol. Managed to play a little with Happy too. :)

So after Ally's place, PQ & I went over to Cafe Iguana to meet up with Parwin. Just us 3 ladies eating, talking, drinking. It was a nice, cosy affair.

Meeting these gals again this coming Saturday. We're gonna choose our bridesmaid dresses!!


Had Sunday brunch with Mei, Marc & my parents since Adrian was out of town. Walked a little after that before heading home. Well, more like they went home and I went to buy my tank. Remember the self-sustaining tank containing volcanic shrimps I talked about earlier? Voila, I bought it just now. :)

So now I have new pets, who only require feeding only once a week or once every fornight. In fact, they'll still survive even if you don't feed them for more than 2 months according to the shopkeeper.

The whle of Sunday afternoon was spent entertaining guests. Because of my Dad's recent health condition (he's not been feeling too good), my Mum's relatives came to visit today. I'd actually rather have spent my time napping or going for a jog than participating in their small talk.....But oh well.......

And now I don't feel like sleeping...Because when I wake up....
It'll be Monday again.....:(

On Edge

Frowning
Tight lips
Tense shoulders
Heavy chest
Increasing irritation and impatience with colleagues.

RANT POST

Am upset with 2 colleagues. We are at a crucial time now before the event in June.

Colleague 1 is a part of this and has gone on course for these 2 days when something urgent needs his attention. He is a part of another of my project which is going to be launched in June as well. And he owes me a MAJOR portion. And now he’s disappeared from office. WTH?????

Colleague 2 is assisting me on settling some things. She’s gone on leave and is also attending a course. Will be gone for a whole week. And threw everything onto me. WTH??????

My plate’s overflowing and now I need to cover these two??? WTH??????????

F(ed) up.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

An oh yes. Colleague 3 comes in at 945am, has a 2-hour lunch and leaves on the dot at 6pm. I come in 1.5hrs earlier, take a quick lunch and go home after him. Eeeeeee not fair!

the day in points

• Preggy the Tabby seems to be putting on some weight. Her tummy's getting bigger too I think. I went downstairs to feed her after my run earlier on. What's on the menu? Whiskas' Sardine & Tuna flakes. I think, can't remember haha. This is the second time I am feeding her. Am wondering if I should get some more cat food for her or not.
  

• The day was arduous. I had writer's block, in addition to working block, in addition to thinking block, in addition to .....One word, UNPRODUCTIVE. Wasn't in the right frame of mind, I felt like surfing the Internet and playing more than anything. Could be the late night I had yesterday. Anyway, will try to sleep earlier today so I can be an industrious bee tomorrow and clear many many things.
  

• Skyped with K on the phone in the afternoon. He's in Estonia now and had roasted wild boar for one of his meals yesterday. I also want!! I wanna be overseas now too!!! Surprisingly, his WIFI connection was excellent. We had zero interferance and the line was smooth and steady throughout our conversation. I hope the volcanic ash situation doesn't affect his travels. Muacks baby...
  

• Had lunch with TH. Always nice to gossip and catch up and......talk about his new relationship hehe. :D
  

• At the shrimp shop I was at earlier this evening, the owner and his son were talking to me. Junior was quite tall and good-looking, maybe in his early to mid twenties. He spoke well too. (No, I am not a cougar.) Senior was quit tall too. A nice man but when he came forward and bent down to speak to me....all I had eyes for.......was an exceedingly huge whitehead on the side of his nose. All I could think of was to wrestle him to the ground, and squeeze out whatever it was in that whitehead. I'm still thinking about it now. If that whitehead had been on K instead.....hmm....

• For the first time in my entire working life, I drafted a speech for a Minister. It's for my major event in June. Ok lah, I came up with the first draft. It'll probably and eventually get amended and red-lined by the big big bosses till it looks nothing like the original draft. BUT EH, it is still not easy to come out with the first draft okay. I racked my brains for a good few days trying to cough that 4 page draft out, finally handed it in today and itll go up to the CEO soon. The shitty thing is, I have another speech to draft, for another VIP but of a lower level. Sigh...

• Made a 10-minute call at 8pm just now to a person in New York to discuss some work issues. Yes, it's for the June event again. I wonder how much that call will cost me. A 7-minute call cost me $40 last time but I can't remember which country that was. Hope I can claim this call....
  

• I am sitting here in my stinking running attire but for some strange reason, I have no desire to shower. Hope I'm not morphing into a slob.
  

A Prawny Affair

I ran and ran, walked and walked, ran and walked. I ended up taking a detour to explore new territories and running routes and suddenly an idea hit me. I had wanted to find a shop for the last month or so but didn't really get down to it. And so, I ran round a small part of the Tampines estate trying to find it. Turned out it was relatively easy to find. :)

CRS Haven is a specialty store selling shrimps. Yup, small little shrimps that you rear as pets, definitely not to end up as "heh bee" in your glutinous rice dumpling or what. Here's their site --> www.crshaven.com

They have this special tank about 15-18cm tall, 8-10cm lengthwise and 7-8cm wide. some are cylindrical but of similar width and height. Each of these tanks houses about 3 or 4 volcanic shrimps which are pale orange in colour. Each tank also contains substrate, decorative items for the shrimps to cling onto or hide under, and about 2-3 small balls of algae as food for the shrimps.

This tank apparently requires very low maintenance. You technically don't need to feed the shrimps as they can last for months and years (or so the brochure says) feeding off the algae balls and the other microscopic materials in the specially treated water. But if you want them to be healthier, you can supplement their food source with one food pellet per week.

I saw the pellets. They are exceedingly small with each being less than 1mm in diameter. It's amazing how much (or little) these shrimps eat!

So anyway, these tanks can be placed in an office environment as well, just out of direct sunlight.

I want to buy a tank for myself. :) Something else to care for in addition to my plants and (occassionally) the pregnant tabby below my block.

The tanks I like are about $78 each. Will pop by there one of these days or maybe over the weekend. Whee!

Itsy Bitsy Stuff

• I want to watch Fast 5, Pirates and Kungfu Panda 2....
• I want to watch DrumTao, a Japanese performance in early September, involving taiku drummers who are trained in martial arts also. Would be a nice one I think.
• I want to watch Jump, a Korean comedy featuring performers who are trained in martial arts as well and who combine their skills with comedic timing to put forth a fun-filled skit.
• I did what I've wanted to do for a long time. I got myself a digital weighing scale. And no, I did not like what I saw when I first stepped onto it after I got it started up. :(
• My hands are itchy and I feel like colouring my hair again, a lighter shade of brown.
  
• On another type of itchiness....I feel like going shopping again...
• And still on itchiness...I got myself non-scented liners...and I'm glad the itchiness has abated...
• I want to visit Bhutan, Nepal, the Silk Road, Tibet, Lombok, Boracay, the savannah plains, Prague, Scotland, Ireland, more of France, New Zealand, more of Australia, Mauritius, Maldives, New York, Borobudur, Egypt, Bali, Japan, more of Korea, more of Spain, Portugal, Morocco, Turkey, more of Vietnam....oh and the list goes on. I travelled quite abit over the last two years...and now I am yearning to go somewhere...:( There'll be a HK trip in November but it's only for 3D2N, hardly enough and it's still half a year away...I want to go somewhere in July or August!!!!! And another trip in Sept or October!!!
  

Wardrobe Malfunction

Was just done with peeing. Zipped up my pants and....

WTH?!!!

I found my hand going way above where the zipper should have stopped and the whole zip head was in my hand. I tried frantically to put it back along the zip teeth but then discovered that it had already broken into two.

Woe is me.

Had to go ask around for a safety pin to hold my pants up in place. Thank god I always refer wearing long tops that go way way past my waist and end at the hips or lower.

It's my fav pair of pants!!! Hope it can be saved by a seamstress or something....:(

....

I'm a simple girl who just wants a simple life. Why does it seem difficult to achieve?