Groggy morning

Wore my pants back to front today. Was wondering how my pants turned out to be ill-fitting and had pockets in front lol...

May the rest of the week bring good news, good resolutions, good progress and many more good things.

Jiayou!!

Hope I stay strong

Second time this week that I lost it and the floodgates opened. Frustrated. Upset. Time is running tight on us. And we are spending (wasting) time dealing with people who are a@@holes.

Full circle

I was sharing with both Ally and K that looking after an elderly person is quite akin to looking after a young child. The only difference is that one runs around and the other either moves slowly or is confined to a small space.

Granny was stubborn today and wanted to feed herself. Dad and I let her do so and she was dribbling bits of her porridge on herself. We're all well-trained now and make sure she wears a bib for every meal. After awhile though, she became tired and allowed me to feed her. It took a long time and she was falling asleep. I had to nudge her lips with the spoon each time I wanted to feed her.

From time to time, she'd miss getting everything on the spoon into her mouth and some would dribble on her lips or chin. Tissues would come into play at this point.

When she's full or doesn't want any food, she'd either shake her head or refuse to open her eyes or refuse to open her mouth.

If she's hungry, and you're not feeding her fast enough, she'd get grumpy and grumble, or she'd nudge you to show she wants more and quickly. Or she'd just open her mouth wide.

Today, I found myself smelling her diapers to see if she had poo-ed. And then it suddenly hit me that both Ally and some of my other friends who are mothers would do the same to their babies or toddlers.

So I think what they say is true. It really is a full circle.
When you near the end ofyour journey, you kind of go back to how you started that journey....

Milestone

Today marks the first time ever that 2-year-old Kyler called me Auntie Michelle. :)
His pronunciation was quite spot on too lol...Well done little man!

But I think 4 syllables must have been quite tough on him because he switched to Auntie Shell after that...and then he finally gave up and stopped calling me altogether hahha.

Mind's on a whirl

Thousand and one things. I bathe and suddenly remember something I need to do. I walk and suddenly remember another thing. Either that or I'm lost in my thoughts and I miss what's going on at that point in time.

Like how I almost missed my bus this morning, flagged late and hence got an early morning scolding from the bus uncle. The third time this week someone has "yelled" or "scolded" or "ranted" at me.

忍

I
Must
Not
Cry

I've some wisdom afterall

The dentist told me this afternoon that I've a wisdom tooth on the upper left corner. I know I've one on the upper right corner but this one of the upper left is new to me. It's growing out horizontally and I hope it doesn't cut into my inner cheek next time!

Xmas and CNY

This will be the first year I am officially giving out angpows during CNY. Somehow, I enjoy the physical act of wrapping angpows and presents. Choosing wrappers, deciding what style to wrap the gifts in, deciding what ribbons to use, making gift cards to attach to the gifts, etc. And choosing angpows and counting new notes to put in them....Therapeutic in a certain way. And it brings me a certain joy too.

But sometimes when I see the dent they make in my bank balance.........@_@

Lol

Happy Birthday My Lovely Ladies

5 Jan was Ally's birthday. We popped by her place for a surprise. PQ, Geraldine, Min Yen and I. PQ's birthday was on 6 Jan, so the rest of us planned a surprise for her within Ally's surprise. Sounds like the movie Inception? Lol perhaps. Needless to say that I had several concurrent and "sneaky" Whatsapp threads going on at the same time. Had to "sneakily" place the cake order and send them over to my place first too lol.

I hope everyone enjoyed themselves that day. :) I know everyone thought the cake and cupcakes were super cute haha. Here are some pics....

End of My Tether (almost?)

Arrows flying.
Fingers pointing.
"Spannas" being thrown.
Last min unreasonable requests.

This is a losing game. An absolute loss.
I can't see how at all this will result in a gain for us.

想哭但是哭不出来。

Long Saturday

- Visited gran in the morning
- Went to my parents' place for lunch
- Discovered K's dad was about to be warded at CGH for observation for a medical condition
- Went over to meet K at CGH
- Then Went to do marketing for the family because K's parents didn't get a chance to do it
- Got home, stoned for 45mins then left to go CGH again to visit FIL
- Left to go for a dinner appointment
- Midway through dinner, my own dad called. Gran was being sent to hospital for very low blood pressure
- Finished dinner and went back to CGH again....
- She was stuck in AnE, couldn't do much so we left after hanging around for an hour plus...

我要加油

快要疯了。随时随地，不管是weekday或是weekend, 早上，下午或晚上，都会接到和工作相关的简讯。今天是星期六， 早上830就被简讯吵醒。

Overwhelmed.

Hang in there. 7 more weeks before it all ends.

time flew.......

time flew by this week. i remember thinking at the start of the week "what a long week ahead".
and then now it's already the end of the work week. gosh....including the work I did at home at night and the stuff i'd be doing over the weekend, i think i'll clock 60-62 hours this week.

barely hanging in there for today. feeling slightly stoned and tired already.

ganbatte! ganbatte! ganbatte!
5 more weeks to go before the start of the event and 7 more weeks to go till the end of the event!

The Start of the New Work Year

Pulling in 12-14 hour workdays and settling some work stuff on weekends as well will pretty much be the modus operandi till early March.

I foresee a hole in my pocket due to increased cab fares.

In the meantime, just bite the bullet I say. And I hope I don't get more pimples than I already do. Oh ya, and I hope I don't put on weight from the late dinners!

Pre-Requisites of a Project Manager

1. Control Freak.
2. Micro-Manager.
3. Not Trusting.
4. Highly Assertive.
5. All of the Above.

Holly Jolly Christmas Presents

I received some presents this year that I'd never ever gotten before lol. Some notable ones include...

1. A Rowenta hairdryer. 2000W salon grade. The box had "Elite Model Look" stamped on it lol.
2. A nightie. A purple one with a satin-like finish. I think K liked this too hahaha.
3. A New Balance runner's singlet. Pity it was an M-size. Quite baggy on me but I loved the colour.
4. A mini book about 5cm long, 4cm wide and maybe 2.5cm thick. Many many nice quotes about wisdom within it.
5. A customised notebook/diary cover with my name stitched onto it. This was cool...

Other stuff included:

• Chocolates
• Notebooks
• A tote bag
• A 2013 calendar
• Pens
• A luggage tag. Neon pink with the words "Not Your Bag!"
• Concealer...
• Capitaland vouchers
• Tea from TWG

That's quite a long list! lol....
I still have Ally's present which I've not collected from PQ's place yet....:)

The Year End

At times, I still feel like a teenager. Gawky, awkward, not confident, uncomfortable, on the fringe and left out.

The year end never fails to bring me over to the "emo" end of the spectrum.

Have a Cuppa!

This year, I made open terrariums for Ally and PQ for Xmas. I've never given out "living things" before so this was a first. (Plants ARE living things right?)

Here are some pics for posterity. Forgot to take the pic after I had put some white lace detailing along the rim of the cups. The cups look plain in these pics haha. The pink cup was naturally for Ally. :)

One Day In Office

It was 630pm. I was tired and wanted to go home early. So I packed up and left. Walked past my boss' room on my way out.

Me: 老板, bye *waves goodbye*
Boss: Ooi!! How come leave so early?!?! *pretends to stare at watch*
Boss: Alamak why you leave before me?!?!
Me: *rolls eyes* Excuse me hello! My official working hours are till 6pm leh. Then last night I left at 7-plus almost 8pm leh. Wah Lau.
Boss: *guffaws*  kidding lah alamak...go home lah go home lah. *beams at me*
Me: Hahaha okok bye! You don't stay too late ok. 再见!!

A colleague from another department witnessed this and told me he was amazed I could speak in such a light-hearted and candid manner to my boss. My 62 yr-old old-timer boss who used to have a reputation of being one of the most rude, grumpy and bad-assed boss when he was heading another department. He would call his staff into his office and scream at them when he felt they did something wrong.

That colleague was surprised that I was talking to my boss like as if he was an equal. And that my boss could be so open and fun when talking to me.

Time mellows a person I guess.

Or maybe I am just too lovable. :) Muahahahhaa.

Lapse

I had a great morning, a nice afternoon and a nice dinner with K's family. But things got to me after dinner and the emotional side of me took over.

It was quiet. I was alone. And I found myself crying in the middle of the study room where I was wrapping up a teddy bear I'd bought for Granny for Christmas.

I was thinking of her and then other thoughts came. I guess I was overwhelmed. 

Inadequacies. Frustration. Helplessness. Self-doubt. Realisation. Fear. Weakness.

When you start holding things in, they accumulate after awhile. When they accumulate, they might overflow.