2 months

It's been 2 months.
So fast. The numbness on the right side of the head is still there though.
But it's going away slowly day by day. Really slowly though haa.
And darn it, still can't sleep properly on my right side. Head feels weird even when it's resting on a pillow.

Still dun dare to wash my hair so thoroughly too. Especially since that day when mum said she saw the wound being pinkish and slightly puffy. Hmm.

The increased dosage of epilem is making me feel more tired. Or is it the fact that I went under the knife? Anyway, hope the energy level plateaus soon and then picks up...=)
Chicken essence. Bird's nest.
Guzzle guzzle guzzle...hahaha...

Perhaps Love...

Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat!
Please put a penny in the old man's hat
If you haven't got a penny
Then a half penny will do
If you haven't got a half penny
Then God bless you
God bless you
God bless you!!

haa...can't remember the other lyrics of this carol...only managed to remember this little portion cos Cheiwz and I used to sing ourselves silly with this portion back in our carolling days..hahha..

===========
Went to catch Perhaps Love with Ahboy, Fai & Rina yesterday night..
Interesting show man..something kinda like Moulin Rouge what with all the circus stuff and all..
But all in all quite an okay effort. Considering that it's the first time a HK film has ever tried something of this sort. Musical movie...

Takeshi Kaneshiro aka Jin Chengwu. Simply GORGEOUS. His eyes just seem to penetrate so deeply into you that you get sucked into his gaze before you even know it. His floppy hair makes him look so darn boyish and that grin...need I say more?

Jacky Cheung. Can see he's getting old. But man-oh-man. His voice is still damn power. Simply power!!
Hearing him sing in the movie kinda made me regret not catching Snow.Wolf.Lake when it was here in September.

Zhou Xun. The actress from China. Thought nothing of her at the beginning. Felt she was just a plain actress with nothing much to boast of. But as the show wore on, as the scenes and footages unfolded, she kinda grows on you and you find that she's got more and more 'flavour'.

In terms of singing, the above 3 all could sing. But there was a Korean guy who couldn't really get his pitch right and his pronunciation was salah. Certain parts had mis-timed choreographies in dancing too.
Tear-duct meter. Hmm...8/10. Quite a few heart-breaking scenes.
Haa...Da-sao teared too so it's not only me who's the emotional one muahaha...

zouk out?? nahh....zilched out...

Started the day fine yesterday but as it wore on drudgingly...so did my spirits.
Was told that I'm looking quite haggard..hmm mm...
Was told that I'm losing my tan!! and looking yellowish now...?? jaundiced??
Was also told that I'm flabby...hmmm....

Kaozz......tmd *faint*

Work is starting to pile again..*yelp yelp yelp*
Still have quite a number of unread emails in my mailbox but before I can clear them and clear my stuff, more things come in! *whine whine whine*
And by the end of the week, haa, I'm zonked out. Zilched out. Zapped out.

==========
Went Equinox and also had supper with Ling & gang yesterday.
Brought me much laughter...
Which is a good thing..

==========
Think I'm getting more shy and reserved...hmm...haa...
Cham...

The Serenity Prayer

Attended a training session yesterday on Personal Effectiveness. Thought it was relatively interesting.
And through it during a section about managing change in your life, I was exposed to the "Serenity Prayer".

"God grant me the SERENITY to
Accept the things I cannot change;
The COURAGE to change the things I can;
And the WISDOM to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it:

Trusting that He will make all things
Right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen."


Think those words in the 1st para are quite interesting...

day 4 of the week

Been a busy day...but to be frank..dunno busy with what...
Just that somehow there's been alot of calls for me today. If it's not my handphone ringing, it's my office phone ringing. And sometimes, both will ring at the same time...piangzz.
And my MSN was constantly buzzing with activity 2day haa...well almost.

==========
Visited Johari in the evening. Good to see him looking well..went for 3 ops in all to amputate his right leg just below the knee. Looking at him on that hospital bed..my heart went out to him.
Neck brace, tubes, wires, needles...He said he lost about 6 packets of blood during the accident. That's god-damn alot man...But glad to see he was handling it well.

Maybe will go visit him again next week...

==========
There must be something I am not doing right at work. Or perhaps the approach is wrong.
Or perhaps the motivation ain't there to do more and to challenge myself.
Hmm....

In Commemoration

Imagine – John Lennon

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isnt hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
No religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will live as one


==========
John Lennon...enough said...
Been 25 years since he was gunned down...

mid-week...

Had my first Malay lesson today..Teacher's quite a funny guy. Good. At least it makes learning more fun. Plus, majority of the students are around my age.
And the rest can be quite abit of a joker too. So it all adds up to the fun and laughter element.

Phew...been a long while since I last had to do homework and hand it in.
Haa....

============
The emcee thingy went okay this afternoon. Had my hiccups here and there, stuttered at a point in time and could even feel my knees trembling. But well, for a first-timer, quite alright lah..haa..

And realised that Mr Seng Han Thong is quite a nice guy actually. Can joke with you and laugh around..though he forgot my name and simply addressed me as "MC"..hahaha...

Didn't get to go to Jade Restaurant at Fullerton Hotel with the WSH trainers...=((((
Missed out on a great meal I think...heard it's damn ex like 90++ per head?

James and Yew Seng are nice in an ah-pek way...
Still taking more time to know Eve though...hmm...

=============
Things just ain't the same man
Emotional baggage and physical limitations
Stamina's zapping
Heart's pumping
Do you hear it?
Can you feel it?

speedo!!

I think sometimes I am obssessed with speed and efficiency.

I get grumpy and agitated when..

• the bus is late
• the train is late
• the food queue is too long
• the food takes long to arrive
• the person walking in front of me is blocking my path
• the lift takes too long to come
• the lift opens at too many floors
• the cab stand has too many people
• the cabs do not come in to the can stand
• people bump into me
• people squeeze with me on the escalator
• people squeeze with me on the way into or out of the train
• and the list goes on......

Hope it ain't just me... =D

I was hit on! By a butch!

But in my dream...Heng ah...haa...

But my dreams are getting more bizarre..Had one last night. Shall try to put it into words as best as I can.

It was the present me in that dream. Long straight hair, contacts and all.
But the environment I was in was actually TPJC’s lecture theatre and I was clad in TPJC’s uniform.
Can’t remember which lecture it was though, might have been Accounts cos I remember seeing figures and calculations on the OHP screen.
Yes, the dream was detailed right to the fact that it was OHP and not even powerpoint slides.

I was sitting next to this butch whose face I simply can’t remember too.
She was on my left and I didn’t know her in the dream.
Not sure who was on my right, but I know it was not Peiqi. Probably some other obscure student.

I was frantically taking notes and trying to pay attention. Suddenly noticed that the butch was leaning closer and closer to me.
She had cologne on and it was quite overpowering for my poor nostrils. And quite suddenly, she just turned to me and said: "I really like you alot. Care to go steady with me??"

And I think I just flipped to the max! Still remember her hair was short and styled like a rooster's crown. Was also wearing those plastic rimmed glasses, red rimmed. Power siah...

The school bell rang then and it kinda saved me from the awkward situation as I mumbled something intelligible and then scurried away to the other side of the LT where I met up with Peiqi.
Along the way to meet Peiqi, I also bumped into Marcus Khong who followed me to meet Peiqi.
And then somehow, Steven Seow appeared! In our dirty green PRSS uniform…*faint* Simply unbelievable…And then the 4 of us ended just chatting…and the dream ended there.

Aw man…..no wonder my dark eye rings have not gone away!!

hari satu....

Lunched with Sherwin today...muahaha...
Treated him to Fig & Olive at Clifford Centre...woohoo...superb BBQ Chicken with pasta!!

Had fun gossipping about NTUC Club's scramble on how they were gonna handle the negative press after the 2 girls fell off their rollercoaster at Escape Theme Park last week.
Promised to show me his wedding pics!! Will pass me his CD another time...

============
Jen pulled me in for a talk or maybe a small discussion on how marketing might be in the next few months...am still not exactly clear what she is thinking of.

Dire straits? Hmm...not exactly dire, but well..disorganised...
In her words "trying to change the wheels while the car is still running..."
How aptly put.

Proposed some stuff to me..some shifting of roles and change of responsibilities. Asked me if I was okay with the suggested changes.
Am okay with changes, just as long as you don't change again 3 months down the road....

============
Oh my.
Didn't manage to go visit Jo this evening. EH was sick...hmm..have to re-schedule.

============
Counting down to Wednesday...kekeke...my first lesson!!

G R O W L !!!!!!!

Grrrr.......Part I

Point #1
It doesn't mean that you own the pavement if you are pushing a pram with a bawling baby in it.

Point #2
It doesn't mean that you can roll that same pram over somebody else's toes without apologising or even acknowledging that person (whose face is cringing by the way).

Point #3
It also doesn't mean that you can terrorise other users of the pavement just because you are pushing that bloody pram with a bawling baby in it!!!

ARGH. Met a pavement bully whilst on the way home today.
Along the congested walkways and pavements of Tampines Interchange.
This lady, whose race I shall not reveal lest I be charged in court, was pushing a pram adorned with pretty pink finishes. She seemed intent on bulldozing through the crowd.

And the innocuous me just happened to be one of the suey ones to cross her path. Didn't realise she was coming my way before it was too late and she happily rolled over my left foot, without even batting an eyelid, without acknowledging my existence and without saying a simple word of sorry.

Bloody Toad.
Grrrr......

=============
Grrrr.......Part II

Hypocrite: one who puts on a mask and feigns himself to be what he is not.

There's a hypocrite in everyone of us I believe. It's just a matter of the degree of it and being hypocrital in a good way or bad way. I won't be shy to admit, I can be hypocrital at times too. Good or bad, I shan't comment too much haa...But I try to be as fair to others as much as possible...

There's someone in my office. Gets along well with everyone, well mostly. Laughs, jokes, buddy-buddy with them...yada yada...
Then turns to me and says: "You know what that XXX told me this morning? I can't believe she actually had the cheek to think (s)he's so great!" or says: "Wah Lau, that so-and-so, can't stand his/ her nonsense!"

Sighz...sometimes..I just wonder if behind my back, that colleague is saying something about me too?
Grrrrr....

monday...cold & cloudy again

Wow, the office is super quiet today...

The FND gals are on exam leave. Siva is on leave. Serene's on leave too. Zenne has shifted to 6th floor. May & Win are at an event. Elaine is forever as quiet as a mouse...

haaa....good conducive environment to work in...
Though it's really getting abit too quiet. MP3 to the rescue!

Festive mood is eating into me man....Whoopee!!
Don't feel like working already!! *evil grin*

=============
Going to visit Johari with EH & Ginger later this evening.
Hope my tears don't fall.

teenage lolita

Came across an interesting blog.

Teenage Lolita. A 16 yr-old girl. Seemingly intent on living the high life.
Writes pretty well and judging from a few entries I've read, she's got quite a feisty mind for her age.

Youngsters these days are much more exposed and grow up faster I guess.
Come on. A 16 yr-old prostituting herself so she could live the high life?...

saturday & other thoughts...

Dragged myself to office today cos of ICP's new product launch...and discovered that no one was in the 35th floor office. Happily kena locked out. And all the props, sales kits were in there.
Pathetic, had to call people for help. Managed to get Jen who was at Parliament House...
So paiseh, she had to drive down to IP to pass me the key...

Haaa...but anyway..the launch was a subtle subtle subtle affair. Was like a flower vase at the reception to register those who had signed up to attend the seminar. Didn't have much for me to do after that so I ran off at 2-plus hehe...
Ah Kok's the best!!! :) Got my hint and released me...muahahaha....

Went Ahboy's place after that. Bought BK there, binged on it and well...
Both of us just became our alter-egos. Couch potatoes. Slouched in front of the TV and watched Cinderella Man.
Continued with The Longest Yard after that..but I simply CMI midway through and went to sleep haa...

============
Woohoo!!! It's really been awhile since I watched a full soccer match. But I did so today!!
Liverpool vs Wigan...Pool's ground....

BEST!!! You'll Never Walk Alone!!

Liverpool 3 - Wigan 0

But it could have been a 4-0, 5-0 or even a 6-0 match...

friday...

Lemme see...what did I do on Friday?
Met up with Ahboy and went to Orchard...I've not seen the new foodcourt at Wisma Atria yet so thought we could go there and look see look see and maybe grab a bite if possible. Bad bad mistake.

The bloody place was jam-packed with people.
Big, small, tall, short, fat, thin, adults, kids, old, young...you name it. Super frustrating...
And to borrow a quote from Lydia's email signature...those faces ended up just being "apparitions in a crowd"...blurred images. I was groggy and felt kinda claustrophobic...
Not a very nice experience there. Plus, the bak chor mee I ordered tasted like rubber.

But I think the concept of the place is pretty good. Decor and everything, with pushcarts selling drinks and other snacks. Just that the crowds spoilt the nice side of it.

============
Think my energy level has ebbed alot compared to pre-op days.
Previously when it was TGIF, I'll be uber happy...looking forward to the weekend and all.
Now, by the time Friday arrives, I'm still happy cos it's the weekend. But I'll be pretty shacked out too...haa...

============
Whee, got my Levi's yesterday at the Taka branch!! :)))
Ended up with 599 instead of the SquareCut...but think I got the wrong size...hmm...
Extra material at the crotch area...hmm...???

lotsa random thoughts...

Just came back not too long ago from the dinner with the duckie babes..EH & Selin didn't join us..always these two "problematic" ones..haa...
Anyway, as usual, bitched the night away...talked about stuff ranging from relationships to Vietnamese brides, food to movies, Hepatitis to pets and jobs to erm...yeast infections...hahha....=p
Really amazes me on the stuff we talk about...when the few of us 38s get together... :)

Dinner was at Spaggeddies @ Paragon... I had my usual tri-coloured fusilli in tomato sauce...with ham and mushroom...yum yum...proceeded to Ah Mei for some hot milo and kopi after that...

============
Was updated that Johari met with an accident...Think it happened only in the last few days.
Run over by a lorry on his way to work...
Think it's pretty bad. One leg's been amputated in an op today. Shucks...the news caught us all in surprise...

What's gonna happen to his wife and 4 daughters? Driving's his best skill...what's he gonna do?
Does he have enough insurance coverage? Is the company gonna help clear part of his medical bills?
Who was at fault during the accident?

Giner, EH & me are gonna visit him...not sure when though...gotta find out more...
Sigh...the uncertainties in life...fate plays its hand...

============
Ok...I've really signed up for my Malay class..gonna start next Wednesday..Ganbattene!!
Mesti blaja bagus bagus. Tidak boleh give up. Sumpah? hehe...

============
Ahboy's back tonight..think reaching SG around 11-something... :)
Looking forward to hearing his stories...think he's got some complaints about his customers haha....
And the amount of entertainment he needed to subject himself to in order to build relationships with them...

============
Kena "bua" left right centre whilst in a meeting this afternoon...
Piangzz....argh.....Constructive feedback is good I agree...
But constructive feedback delivered in a not-so-nice tone does put people off at times...as was I this afternoon.
Or maybe I was already prejudiced from the start?
Hmm....nvm, am a newbie still learning the ropes, shan't complain too much...haa...

it's mid-week already!!! whee!!!

It's funny. Usually, Xmas time brings a whole load of excitement to me. The air seems more crisp, the heart lighter and I find I might even skip along to the tunes of Xmas carols running in my head...

This year's different though...less excitement. Hmm..like as if I'm a jaded war veteran.
Been there, done that, don't bother me with it anymore. Dunno leh...hmm???

================
Didn't really know what I was doing in office today..just whiled the whole day away...didn't do much...well, unless you consider tying ribbons on wine bottles something meaningful.
Me n the lian decided to do that brainless task instead of getting the interns to do...
Haha cos we were quite xian today anyway... =p

================
Gonna dine with the Duckie babes tomorrow...woohoo...haa...finally can get to congratulate Selin on her ROM...=))

On the topic of marriage, was seated next to a couple today on the MRT. On my way to work.
Tried to nap but was distracted by their incessant discussion over some matters. Peeped over discretely to see what they were talking about...oh...aiyah...discussing their wedding day schedule...

But kudos to them man, everything was so neat and organised, schedules, roles and responsibilities were all done up in excel sheets and printed out nicely...Church solemnisation, tea ceremony, wedding dinner...who's the I/C, who's the caterer, who's the emcee, who's supposed to be where at what time...

Haa...yeah, cun believe myself...
Was trying to be discreet lah, but ended up being openly blatant about looking at their documents..hahaha....

Ok...off to bed....
xoxoxo

self-analysis with a half-asleep mind...

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:
Physiological --> Safety --> Belongingness --> Self-Esteem --> Self-Actualisation
An individual moves from one level to the next, never skipping a step but can be concurrently trying to achieve a few steps.

Physiological = check. Safety = check. Hmm..as for the next 3 levels..let me see...
Think I am still working on those? Or rather, am slowly plodding along, feeling my way around with them.

Belongingness. I feel I "belong" in certain groups. Yet, am abit of an "oddity" with other groups. Generally okay though. Guess there will always be a "not-so-good" fit with some groups. It's a natural thing I suppose.
If there's always a good perfect fit, then life might be too dull too eh?

Self-Esteem. Sometimes there, sometimes not there. Independence, confidence, achievement, dominance, mastery, managerial responsibility..blah blah...Working on it? haaa.....

Self-Actualisation. Wah...this one how to say? Hmm...not even there yet? haa...
Self-fulfilment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences...S L O W L Y lah...haa...
When I'm there, I'll know I'm there.

That Voice

Tis heart of mine
Full of hope, love and passion
Yet tumultuous, murky and fuddled at times
Are other hearts as such?

Tis mind of mine
Full of drive, clarity and chutzpah
Yet clouded, wavering and delusional at times
Are other minds as such?

Tis me
The one and only me?
Tis you
The one and only you?

The heart hums and
The mind buzzes
Inexplicable warmth permeates the being
When that voice comes through

Ah, such simple joy
Such simple bliss
Just that one bright spark

Enough to light up the day
Enough to rejuvenate the being
Enough to just feel complete

===========
Haha he called just now around 9pm SG time, 8pm Indon time...
Just to boast again that his hotel room is "bloody big"! =p
Think the second appointment has more hopes than the first one...mentioned that the first one is a goner.
Hope his 4 appts goes better for him tomorrow. *clasps hands and prays fervently*
Hmm...wonder if that vainpot went for his spa session too??

Happy just to hear his voice...muahahha.....sucker....
macham sillly infatuated schoolgirl... :)

hitting the sack liaozz....
CMI big time...
zzzzz............................

Tao Zhe....Wheeee.....

The concert last night was nice... :D :D :D
Not mind-blowingly spectacular but good enough to etch itself in my cupboard of memories.

He looked better than ever before. Though slightly tired, perhaps from his others concerts in the region?
More toned and his smile simply makes a person feel so very good! Very sunny, sincere personality...down to earth.
His entrace to the show was well...being strung up on two wires..somersaulting whilst being lowered down onto the stage area...haaa...

The band was impressive. The accompaniments were sibei good too!!
From Jia Jia on the erhu, to Xiaoyan on the pipa and the other two girls on the violin and the dizi(flute)...simply impressed.
Not to mention the back-up singers...who sometimes came upfront to "do their own thang" too..haa...Lisa, Kewei & David Tan..Kewei & David are from SG.
And David Tan is quite good actually...in a class of his own man...p/s: he plays the bass guitar too..
And who can forget King Long?? the ultimate pianist? Our very own too?

The best part of the concert was when they had a 10-15 minute section where TaoZhe and the rest of his band and back-ups did renditions of English songs from the 70s and 80s and the early 90s...
WOOHOO!! Damn POWER!!
They performed short sections of those songs...song like Sweet Child of Mine, Uptown Girl, Every Breathe You Take, etc...

*swoon*
=D