speedo!!!

Got a pink pair of goggles just now..Speedo..
Cos the anti-fog lining of my old TYR ones have worn down quite abit..though I still love that pair to bits...
Am having a tough time trying to adjust the nose bridge part...and err..haha...didn't check the size...the goggles part seems a little small for my eyesockets...

Hmm..wonder when I'll get the chance to go though..shall target within the next 2 months or so...One of my resolutions for the year (amongst a few others) ...to resume my swimming sessions..

My cute dasao

haha...Lovers in Paris has really left Dasao all lovey-dovey eyed over "Han Qi Zhu"...
Came home today to find her reading a book, ears plugged into her CD player...whilst bro & Marc were playing in a corner...
Asked her what was she listening to and she gave me a sheepish grin..haha...and I knew who it was liao...Park Shin Yang...

She actually went to such lengths to scour the net for his CD..think it costs over 25US$ for one CD...haha...piangzz...didn't dare tell bro somemore...scared kena scold by him...

She's so cute at times...34yrs-old liao...
And still going gaga and salivating over Park Shin Yang...worse than me...

it's end feb already...so fast...

5th day of taking steroids.
It's wreaking havoc on me...am on an emotional rollercoaster..mood swings like fuck.
Listen to Josh Groban or Buble can also cry like shit.
Cried myself to sleep last night.
Ridiculous.
And I think I have at least 3-4 more days of the dosage left...

argh.

=======
Watched BrokebackMountain just now with him...
Wrong show to watch on a Saturday afternoon.
Draggy, slow and well...perhaps its abit over-rated.
Jake Gyllenhaal & Heath Ledger were good though..and Jake's grin sets my heart aflutter.

=======
Had dinner at Blk 85...the bak chor mee...waited for 30 mins..
But what arrived was a disappointment...think their standard has dropped considerably..or maybe there was just too many people today?

=======
Haha...kinda looking forward to the possible meal at PS Cafe after I get well...=)

=======
Email correspondences again...
Me, the fool who can hardly express herself in person...yet feels more comfortable doing so via text and email.
Guess the leopard can never change its spots.

my precious moments cross-stitch

If I ever wanna embark on another cross-stitch again....please please please do me a favour...And remind me never ever to buy one that is just 9cm tall by 9cm wide...
Wth strings of hues so close to each other, I have to stare for at least 10 mins to distinguish one colour from the next shade.
And the holes in the cloth are just so tiny...kaozz...*faint*

The moment I started on it this afternoon...I almost went ballistic.
Cussing at my stupidity of buying it & the stupidity of the person who designated the colours.

But anyway, it got better after awhile lah...and after much perserverance...and after teling myself who it is for...=)

Nevertheless, think my degree will shoot up again after this project is duly completed.
Am hoping to finish it soon within this week.
Shouldn't be a prob...provided I don't get distracted by other things...

I didn't think you can get hooked on cross-stitch...Gosh, I sound like a such a homebody saying this...
The last time I finished one (also a precious moments piece)...I told myself that that would be the last time I'd ever do one.

But guess the joy & happiness & pride at completing one is so shiok to savour that the itchy backside me went to get another one...
So here comes the start of another cycle again of cussing, complaining, perservering, doing it, finishing it up, and feeling great in the end..haha...

Yeah I know...I'm bollocks...

I wanna sleep!!!!!!!!!

Argh..this is frustrating.
Sleep has once again eluded me.
Just when I thought I had it in my grasp..it slips away...leaving me wide-eyed, staring at the ceiling.

I pace the room. I stare out of the window at the pink skies. I listen to the droning of the air-con. I hear the sounds of the odd one or two cars pasing by through the night. I huddle under my quilt. I hug my pillow. I curl into a ball. I lie spreadeagled. I lie on my stomach, I lie on my back, I lie on my side. I pray.
To no avail.

I went to bed at 1am. It's an hour and a half later..
I'm still awake...my mind is as active as ever...

aw man.....
grrrrrooowwwl....
*pulls hair*

it's thursday already...

Couldn't get to sleep last night...tossed & turned...
My thoughts were wandering..to places where I should not tread on.
Had to force myself not to think. Had to pull myself away from those weird & unhealthy thoughts...
That's what happens when I've got time on my hands..I end up thinking weird things...getting paranoid and all.

Dumbo..hahah...

======
Anyway, cleared some work stuff today as usual.
But am abit frustrated cos there's alot which I can't do whilst at home.
And lian is dying in office.

======
Some trivia.
Baked a brownie today!
An edible brownie! haha....
Am a happy lark!

Though I really wish he could be around to try it....

======
He should be in Suntec Tower 5 by now..talking to the CEO & HR...
*crosses fingers*
*silent prayer*
Hope it goes smoothly for him.
Yes...it will go smoothly for him. =)

Hope his meeting later with the bitch boss at 5pm won't mar his day too much...

=======
Gosh, it's raining already...

=======
Need to keep myself occupied...shall go do my cross-stitch now...or attempt to...hmmm...hahha....
Think the Korean DVDs are shouting out to me more...

family ties...blood is thicker than water....

I don't feel close to my family anymore.

Adrian speaks to me and tries to engage me in conversations. I try to reciprocate sometimes...though most of the time I just don't know what else to say to him. It's like there's a gap...though I still love him as my brother..

Mum & Dad..they've done so much for me..yet it sometimes irks me just to engage in a conversation with them..I mean I appreciate all that they have done for me...but I dunno...Same thing..growing apart I guess...

I don't like what I've become..
How did things become like this?

late afternoon ramblings...

It's been a long long while since I actually listened to classical music...
Don't know what came over me but I spent the whole day yesterday listening to it...today as well..

Listening to Symphony 92.4 whilst doing some office work which I brought home to finish up.
It's a refreshing feeling actually...me, hiding in the comfort of my room, no one to disturb me...with the music just playing next to me.
And I can concentrate on my work so much better than when I am in office.

Brahms, Yo Yo Ma, Chopin...haha...names which kinda slipped my mind...have just gotten revived in my head...

It's weird how being stuck at home can do to you...

=======
Just asked both Win & purpleskies if they see me in sales...both said No.
The lian said she sees me in mktg cos I write well and can crap nonsense....??? kaozz.....
As for purpleskies...she said she also sees me in a mktg/advertising/pr kinda role...and in her words...I'm the kind of person who's too nice..by the time I think of whether should I backstab someone, I kena stabbed first already...so I can't be in sales.

Hmm...revelations revelations....
If this ain't the first time people have told me this...there must be truth in it yeah?
=(

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Sulking pig now...having a craving for the following stuff:

1. Fengshan Mkt Blk 85 Bak Chor Mee & Orh Luak
2. Zion Food Centre Prawn Noodles
3. Maxwell Food Centre Minced Meat Porridge
4. Oatmeal Prawns from anywhere!!
5. Creation's teriyaki chicken meatball fusilli pasta & brownie with vanilla ice-cream
6. Fish & Co's Seafood Platter
7. Mac fries
8. BK's Mushroom Swiss
9. Earth Kitchen's Mee Goreng & Fried Fish Noodles
10. White House's Nasi Briyani
11. Qun Zhong's Xiao Long Bao & Red Bean Pancake & Zha Jiang Mian
12. Laksa from anywhere!!
13. Chye Tow Kueh (black version) from anywhere!!


Argh.......constant calibration between food & weight....

my grand mama...

My grandma...in CGH...left knee in a cast...
Hairline fracture...sighzz...
90 yrs-old liao...

Visited her just now though I couldn't talk...haha...just used some sign language..hoping she'd understand...

Ganbatte

I feel helpless at times
Being unable to be of much help to you
I can only be here for you
Lend you my listening ears
Lend you my shoulders
Give you my hugs

Whatever choices you make
Whichever directions you take
I'll support you whole-heartedly ya
Am behind you all the way

Hope things go through smoothly
Periods of adjustment there will be
But I'm sure we will and can do it
A matter of how we work our way around things

Ganbatte sweetie

Shut My Trap

Easier said than done man..
Haha..it's the 2nd day I'm not supposed to talk. But sometimes I just forget and start talking. Like just now, talked to mum, then we suddenly stared at each other when we realised that I was talking...haa..
Man-oh-man...must really put in a conscious effort to remind myself not to speak.

5-6 more days of non-talking..
Life is tough!

=======
After the Renu contact lens solution scare...threw away my old bottle and got mum to get me a new brand. Complete. Hope my eyes can get used to this new brand..

=======
Hmm...porridge has been my staple diet for these 2 days...tmr it'll be bee tai bak..wonder what can be on the menu for the rest of the week?
Rice for now is abit hard..if I take it, I have to chew it down real fine before I can swallow it..

=======
Dage dropped me an email last night. Was surprised to hear from him.
Regarding ahboy's possible offer & the weird working hours..Hmm...

If I Had You - Diana Krall

I could show the world how to smile
I could be glad all of the while
I could turn the grey skies to blue
If I had you

I could leave my old days behind
Leave all my pals and never mind
There is nothing I couldn't do
If I had you

I could climb a snow-capped mountain
Sail the mighty ocean wide
I could cross a burning desert
If I had you by my side

I could be a queen dear on ground
Humble or poor
Rich or renown
There is nothing I couldn't do
If I had you

the day's proceedings....

Got up early in the morn 545am..left the house at 615am...Reached, waited for my turn to register..was brought to my day ward, made to change into the OT gown & then I waited & waited..Someone then brought me to the OT recep area to wait somemore.

3 nurses of different nationalities came by to verify if I was I. Same questions at different times:

• What's you name?
• What's your IC
• Where do you stay?
• Is this your signature? (shows me a form)
• Any drug allergies?
• Do you know what you're here for?
• Any other conditions?

As I was waiting I realised this time round, I was more nervous haha..cos I was still wearing specs and could see the things going on in the OT & all the nurses rushing around..There were even interns from NTU & NYP reporting for their 1st day duty...

Finally a China nurse came by to walk me over to my OT room. Wah seh..equipments galore...this time round, had a better look around..everything was so pristine, so metallic, so sterilised, so white...haha...

Lay down on the table and they all went about their businesses like clock-work..Anaesthetist went to work on me...wanted to put a plug in my left hand and damn it, could not do it right the first time..KAOZZ, had to poke me a 2nd time. bloody hell, was clutching onto my blanket clenching my teeth..

Anyway, they gave me an oxygen mask, injected the GA into me, I could feel the warm flulid oozing into me..someone said there would be a burning sensation..I mumbled uh-huh...and then I was zonked out...

Next thing I knew, I was up and groggy...and I heard someone say "Oh, she's up, can wheel back to waiting room aready"...to which I fell back alseep again..Back in the waiting room, I awoke again and climbed by myself from the trolley bed back to the usual hospital bed to await for the GA effects to die-out. I remember thinking to myself: "Wah, the op's over already?"

Slept, woke, slept, woke till about 2pm before I made my way home with ahboy...armed with a small bag of medication..

little marc

This was taken on the 3rd day of CNY earlier this year...
After me & Adrian's visit to Ah Gor's place.

Mr Marc Sng was too tired out I guess..hahha..

pressie for him

haha..3-in-1 pressie.. anni gift - cum - completed biathlon - cum - good luck for interview GIFT.
The two flower soft toy thingies are actually magnets. and the little yellow handmade card was clasped in between them.
Gave him whilest we were tanning. Thought Eric was sleeping when I passed it to thim. Then Eric suddenly got up...paiseh..

NUS Biathlon 2006

Got up damn early on a Sunday morning.
Was out of the house by 8:15am...all set & ready to go support ahboy in his virgin biathlon!

Reached KM8 carpark by 9am. And walked over to the beach about 5 minutes away..
Wow, the whole place was littered with eye candy...of the male species. Chockful of them.
Tall, short, fair, tanned, Chinese, Ang Moh, Malay, Indian.
Had to control not to stare too hard...haha...Many "washboards" & "Vs" around too...=)

1st thought when I reached the place: "Aiyo..how to find him amongst the crowds?"
And then miraculously, within the next 30 seconds, he sauntered by, within 10 yards in front of me...haha...voila! I didn't have to go find the cow...the cow came to me.
Met Eric for the 1st time..nice guy.



The 2 happy blokes posing narcissistically.
His number was 5051, Eric's was 5067.
Hmm..think his trunks look abit gayish too...




Waited and hung around for awhile when their wave was called to gather and stand by. Wave number 5. And the horn soon rang.
Started the 800m swim at 9:55am. He came back at 10:20am. Plus minus 2mins. Spotted his bright blue trunks coming out of the water..haha..Didn't manage to see Eric come back though, but should be around the same time cos I spotted Eric at the transition area where they changed into running gear.

They started their run around 10:20am plus minus 2-3 mins. Did some tanning whilst waiting for them to come back.
Agar-Agar around 20mins later..made my way to the finishing point to await their arrival. haha...Same thing, didn't manage to spot Eric but he suddenly popped up in front of me, panting but with a huge smile on his face...sipping on a cup of Lucozade.
Hmm..he came back around 10:47.

And then we both waited..under a coconut tree..and yeah, we saw ahboy running in..10:55am. Woohoo!! He did it! =)) Completed his 1st ever biathlon! haha...proud of him..


After the race. Shacked out but happy.
Clutching goodie bag of anti-bacterial spray, T-shirt, Ricola sweets, muscle rub, and stacks of flyers.





But he was a muah chee after that..leg cramped up and he couldn't stop cursing. hahha..Proclaimed that this was gonna be his last biathlon ever...think 10 mins later he was still panting away..haha...

Anyhow, 3 of us popped by to Palawan for a bout of tanning after that..
End result: I'm slightly burnt now...with a red nose and red cheeks..
Haven't tanned for a long time plus the sun was biting today..

Sat night

Had high-tea at Phoenix Hotel on Saturday to celebrate BG's birthday...wonder how it feels to hit the big Three-O.

Went KBox at Cineleisure after that. Wah...1st song Gail sang was a Canto song.
My jaws simply dropped. *impressed* haha....thought she would be singing more English songs..haha...turned out otherwise..

And I can't sing haha...voice broke ever so often..could feel my throat constricting on me man.
And yah, came to a conclusion, I think the Dec karaoke session with Win, CH, Ah Kok & Lawrence did aggravate my vocal cords...haha...the by now infamous shell's cover version of "It's My Life". Original version by Bon Jovi.

kbkb time again...

It's funny how when things are quiet...it's really quiet & nothing happens.
Like at work..nothing to rush, nothing to hand in..all is peaceful & not urgent..

It's funny how when things get busy...everything else has to happen at the same time.
Like now at work.
When I'll be away for a whole week then:

• A few big rental deals come in, coupled with a few other smaller deals. If it all works out, or at least the bigger ones, then I'll clock in $60-70K worth of deals in the month of March. Not that I'm comm-based or anything. More like the sense of achievement when you close the deal.
• WSH needs to come up with plans for an event in 2 week's time.
• I'm supposed to attend a meeting regarding one of the WSH partnership collaborations. I can't obviously & poor Elaine who's already super stretched has to attend in my place.
• Corp Devt Dept needs the social report card...
• The dumb safety pass which is super urgent has got PROBLEMS. AGAIN....
• The Career 2006 event is coming up..and I won't be able to be on duty.

At home, Gran has just been hospitalised today at CGH for a hairline fracture. Fell when getting up from her bed in the middle of the night to go to the loo.

Ack.

vday rosie

My single stalk of rose on vday...
The one whose fragrance was so powerful that the moment you step into my room, it just overwhelms you.
I like the little bear hiding behind the heart..
There was also a little yellow bumble bee on the heart..though it seems abit blur here..

4 months after SGH...I'll be at NUH...

Just got back from NUH not too long ago.
Thought it would take only an hour or two at max. Turned out to be a full-fledged affair which lasted till 3-something. I was in the hospital for more than 5 hours.

It's been confirmed. I have to go for the op.
The medicine ain't working at all. And the polyp/nodule/growth/granular or whatever shit you call it is still there. Big, fat and protruding in my voice box.

It's scheduled for next Mon. Kinda fast but I thought, just get the hell done with it.
The quicker the better. It's gonna be a day op if all goes well, I can go home on the day itself, after I wake from the GA.

=========
But I'm not allowed to talk for a week after that...sigh...how not to talk ah?
And on the 2nd week after the op, I'm suppoed to only talk softly, quietly & gently...think i have to learn from Elaine...hmm..
Also, from the 2nd week after the op onwards, I have to go for a few speech theraphy sessions.
To strengthen my vocal cords, to let me learn how not to strain my vocal cords & lastly, to help me regain my original voice..

Hmm..didn't know such a simple thing can translate to so much other stuff.

========
Took a blood test just now too. Supposed to collect 2 tubes from me.
I hate it. Totally hate it. Thought I would be okay since I've gone through it a few times before.
But today's blood collection was almost a nightmare.
Got poked twice in my right inner elbow. Couldn't get the right vein. Poked and prodded.

The doc gave up & moved onto my left elbow instead.
Got the right vein. But the outflow was very slow so he twisted the needle & moved it around, while it was in my vein...kaozz...

Was squirming in my chair & holding my breath. All tensed up & wishing it were over soon.
Think I spent almost 15 mins in there...

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I have to avoid oily, spicy, fried food & dairy products for at least 2-3weeks after the op.
Hmm...which leaves me with only 4 days to go enjoy whatever sinful things I wanna gorge myself with..