*Ah Mei*

Ok, I broke my promise to myself...
Earlier on, I told myself there would be no more concerts for me this year...

But but but....

I just booked 2 tickets for Zhang Hui Mei's concert on 4th October.
Hiakzzzz....;p

I'll eat grass for the next few weeks/months...

Bo pian, I can't resist...Ahboy's fav......and she's a darn powerful singer!!!
And well errr...I missed all her previous concerts in SG...

So...I'm $300 poorer.

Did I mention I'll eat grass for the next few weeks or months???

Did I mention I'll eat grass for the next few weeks or months till my company pays me back the $3.5K they owe me????

I don't have a pocket anymore..
It's just a gaping hole there!!!......*screams*

THE MAN

It's amazingly irritating how testy a guy can be.

Gosh, it's like as if he's going through his own menses.

15-hour days spent rotting in-camp has left my man testy, irritable, bored, restless, grouchy, frustrated, resigned, pissed...amongst other like feelings...

Today is Day 3 only. There're still 2 more days to go before his reservist ends.

May the Lord grant me strength to be patient with him lol...:)

Ok lah, at least he still calls me at night...wahahha

*beams*

An Insatiable High

Oh, you bring shivers to me

What a splendid feeling it is
To have you in my mouth

To twirl you around my tongue
And touch my lips against you

It is sinful I know
To keep thinking about you

And it is even more sinful
To have bites of you ever so often

Licking you
Brings an insatiable high to me

Spooning you
Brings a delirious high to me







Oh my BJ…I mean B&J
My Ben & Jerry’s Choc Fudge Ice-Cream

You leave me wanting more….
And more…
And more…

Lawyers

I realized lawyers are extremely conversant in English.
They speak fast, speak articulately, think fast and think articulately.
One would think they were born & bred only on English.

I was left flabbergasted when my lawyer started conversing in Mandarin with me. Being equally eloquent, articulate, fast and clear in his speech as he would be if he were speaking in English.

Darn bilingual. I’m embarrassed at my Mandarin at times like this…Gosh...
How can people be so bilingual ah?

stitches of emotions

The NDP song has a nice tune.

But I don't like the singers. A little weak and "out of breath" feeling when I heard them sing...especially the English version...

Stefanie Sun perhaps might have done a better job?
At both the English AND Mandarin versions...

============
I'm flying next Thursday.
The excitement hasn't sunk in yet.

Hmm mm. Weird.

============
Out of steam to blog.
So many things. Too few words in my head.

Think I'll either go watch a DVD or read my book.
I'll feel better than having to contend with a blank mind.

infidelities...

What is it with men and infidelity?

Is it something innate like what shoes and bags are to women?

15-20% of the guys I know (and I am not talking about acquaintances) were not faithful at some point in time or another. Be it with girlfriends or wives.

It doesn't seem like a high proportion when put into percentages. But I guess the reality hits when people you least expect are the ones calling you up and seeking a listening ear.

Some are flings, one-night stands which are oft regretted.
Some are slightly longer-lived but still short-lived.
Some are long-drawn infidelities.
And others are numerous and long-drawn infidelities...

Don't know if I am making any sense here but do men think with their other head more often than the ones on their shoulders?

Should I be alarmed at all?

I asked this before...and I guess I'll ask again...Where's the chastity in marriage?
And for those just in relationships...Where's the faith and loyalty gone?

Hmm mm...
But of course, I don't deny...women are also equally capable of betrayals...

Mini Jog Became a Mini Mini Jog

I run better when I've had a bad pissing day at work..
I don't know why but perhaps the adrenalin through the day and the angst gets me going better when I run...

It was a mish-mash this evening. My breathing was absolutely messy.
I couldn't get it right. Half the time I was struggling to breathe properly and get air into my lungs....There's was no rhythm...
Nothing was in sync...I managed to get it steady after while but in no time it was ragged and messy again.

From the moment I took my first few steps I knew it wasn't gonna be a good session...hmm...

Didn't complete the route today. Gave up halfway when I felt like I was breathing only 1/2 of what oxygen I needed...Walked the rest of the way home...

Xianzz...=(

Hope the next session will be better...Maybe I'll stick to MayDay. Avril Lavigne's rhythm was not suitable...
And Madonna's "Hung Up" album was too fast for a slow steady run...

Ganbatte.....

*WAILS*

XB!!! Wah Lau!!!
Now I am not only immortalised as an auntie on your blog...I am classified as short as well??
Piangzz..*faint*

Clarification!! Not short hor! haha....same height as you..Just that that day I was in flats and your height was artificiallly inflated with heels....

Tsk Tsk. No respect for me...Tsk Tsk...

In Michelle's Dictionary

A mess
...is when people who are supposed to make decisions do not make them.

A confusion
...is when people who are supposed to say more say too little.

A misunderstanding
...is when people who are supposed to say less say too much more.

A frustration
...is when people who are supposed to change things cannot.

A delusion
...is when people who are supposed to see choose not to see.

A chaos
...is when people who are supposed to adhere do not instead.

staccato again

It came as no surprise to me when I asked the 2 young girls if they heard about the Night Festival.
They had blur looks. "What is that?" they asked.

I had that same reaction too when I first heard it from Kelvin Han.

Lol, guess not enough awareness efforts was done?

============
This week has not been good..
Testy, irritable, happy on other occassions, moody on yet other occassions.

The upcoming monthly cycle is really bringing with it huge hormonal changes perhaps.
It's not often I feel so agitated when its drawing near...

staccato

There are things I wanna say and things I dun wanna say.
But tired to list them out.
Tired to mention things.
So I'll just let them be a fragment of my memory.

============
First time in my 28 years of life that I have ever lodged a formal complaint with an organisation over the customer service provided by one of its staff.

For those in the know. That singular SMS caused me quite abit of distress this morning.

Anyway, thanks for hearing my grouses. Felt better as the day wore on.
I still felt upset, but I think it was more due to my moodiness as well.

SMRT Taxis replied to my email, giving an interim answer that they are looking into things.
Oh well.

============
Went to Miss Clarity Cafe at Purvis Street with Angela & xiao bai just now..
Time flies but it's been a year since we last met...Uber fast.

They've grown. Come to think of it, I knew then they were 18 I think...now they're 20. Almost officially a legalised adult...so fast.

The food was alright, my pasta was a little salty but it was a nice get-together...

Angela was still as "sha da jie" haha...damn funny...
Xiao bai is still as ____________...(eh, what do you wwant me to say here ah?? lol...oh yah, you treated me hor? haha lol ok lah..give you face....)

Xiao bai is still as lovely... ahhaha...

And I am still as soft & tender ;p (private joke)

============
Am falling behind on things in work...
Not good not good at all...

Best Before DD-MM-YYYY

Is there an expiry date for friendships?

I'd reply an immediate "no" if you were to ask me this question a few years ago.
If you were to ask me today. My answer is no longer a resounding "no".
It's a "maybe".

Perhaps there really is an expiry date. As the old adage goes.."people come people go".
It's a sure as the sun rises in the morning and sets when night arrives.
Perhaps the one up there allocated each of us a certain number of friends for each chapter of our lives. I dunno.

Leafing through the contacts in my mobile phonebook alone is enough to pay testimony that perhaps some of my friendships have reached or are way past their expiry dates.

Some expired naturally. Others expired prematurely.
And some others have expired through a lack of care and preservation.

It's saddening though. And it's even more saddening when you have tried preserving it, to no avail. You add preservatives now and then, hoping to extend its shelf life but yet, your efforts fail and the expiration still happens. It's a one-sided effort perhaps.

Then there are others which you thought were past their expiry dates. When all of a sudden they are resurrected and found not only to be still edible, but thoroughly palatable to the tastebuds.

And then there's still some which were past expiry dates but regenerate themselves and find you, only for the reason of seeking help. And when help is bestowed upon them. They fade into obscurity again. Saddening. But en meme temp, i.e at the same time, thoroughly pisses me off.

I guess. My preference still lies in the salted fishes of my life.
The well-preserved few lurking around me of which I know there are no expiry dates...
Even if there were, the dates stretch to infinity and beyond...

Pray Tell

I do not know how to broach the subject again.
Pray tell. I hope you are not waiting for me to make the first move.
Because. I don't know how.

It's a niggling dustball on the floor.
And I've been sweeping it under the carpet every other day.
Pray tell. I hope this dustball does not grow into a permanent stick in the mud.

The words are oft on the tip of my tongue.
Pray tell, I hope to roll them off of it but before I can.
Somehow the waves of my cowardice pulls them back into my parched throat.

I do not know the way forward.
Perhaps my mind is not acute enough to find a way around the brick wall.
Pray tell. I hope to find a way soon, to circle it or to climb over.

Pray tell. I hope to have my heart in peace soon.

Am I or Am I Not?

Someone told me I've lost weight since I joined the company.
In the same conversation, someone else told me I've put on weight.

Such differing views. Who should I listen to?

Je ne me sens bien dans ma peau.

Loosely translated to mean...I don't feel good in my own skin.

It's a recurring cadence. A silent dance between my inner and outer self.
For years, finding myself has been an issue..

I feel awkward in my own skin.
In more ways than one, I feel like a gawky teenager trying to find her own feet. Sometimes discovering she might actually have two left feet.

I feel small and uncertain. I feel inadequate and frustrated at not knowing how to proceed.
I feel a lack of in many areas and I feel incongruous. And I feel I've not achieved much in life.

I'm approaching the big Three-O.
Feeling this way at times makes me all the more afraid. I suddenly do not wish to grow up.

Being young or thinking you're younger seems to be a viable reason for feeling inadequate.
Though yes, I know. Thinking that is probably just an excuse to make myself feel better.
Hiding behind that farce of a notion seems to make things a little easier to swallow perhaps.

But then again sometimes, I'd feel wonderful about myself and proud about the things I've done.
The older I get, the more chances I've had of seeing myself in a better light.

A walking paradox haha.

Been trying to love myelf more, trust myself more, and be more proud of myself of what I am and what I've done. Been trying to build up that sense of self-worth and that ubiquitous confidence I see in others.

Hmm. Oh well, jiayou to me.

Je me dit "Jiayou!".

Fry Day

Had dinner with PQ on Friday night...
I was a time-filler cos she was meeting someone else at 9-plus...so well, when Ahboy jio-ed me to BGs house...I gladly accepted.

The usual peeps were there...the guys played MJ...and the ladies occupied themselves with a great invention - the Sony WII.

WII Fit occupied my time..Else I think I would have just fallen asleep on the comfy couch.
Games testing balancing skills, other "aerobics" type of games and even yoga/meditation games..
It was cool.

And it's funny. I miss alcohol.
I miss getting very high. But of course, I don't miss the tummy upset that comes along with it the next day, or the drugged woozy aftermath.

Beaver's

Beaver's
Orientus Resort
Mornington Crescent
(5 mins from Seletar Camp)

=============

It was a nice nice dinner on Saturday...I decided to get away from the crowds.
Suggested to ahboy to take a mini exploration in Seletar and search for this restaurant just off Seletar Camp.

Turned out it wasn't much of an exploration lol. What to do?
The man's a live version of StreetDirectory...

Anyhow, the restaurant turned out to be the under the same chain as the Beaver's in Liang Seah.

He ordered the Beer-Battered Fish & Chips which was gooood.
I ordered the Sirloin Steak which was goooood too!! Haha..
And we had the Wild Mushroom Soup to share...that was wonderful too! haa...

But the most important thing was, there was noone else around when we first arrived...
Such peaceful atmosphere is hard to come by in a bustling city like SG.
Halfway through our meal, some others popped by for dinner as well, but there were still empty seats around...

It was a good dinner. Food was good, company was wonderful.
Nothing too rushed, nothing too stressed.
AND. It felt out of this world.

Let's hope Seletar remains this way.
Dempsey used to be like that. Now it's overcrowded too. Sigh. What a waste.

fragments of the preceding few days...

The older I get...the less significance birthdays bring to me...
I dunno, it just seems like a day in the year. Another day in the calendar..

Hmm mm.

========
Voila...Cambodia is confirmed.
For the first time in my life, I'll be out of SG on the day of it's birthday...

========
Angie is getting registered. Gosh..she's the youngest of our group at 24...

And the general sentiment I could sense amongst some some of us when we received the news was....
"Wah jialat, she's the youngest and she's getting married...Will we get married?" or...
"When will my right one come??"

========
Been eating too much over the last 3 days...think the cycle's coming soon..
Been gorging..

Some more pics of Paris

Their public dustbin... My shower area...

This is the TV which acompanied me in my 9 nights there...

The only English channels were CNN & BBC.....zzzz.......I actually watched CSI in French..wah lau, couldn't understand....

Voila! The bed in my hotel room...super comfy. Only slept on the right side of it though..haha...

Why am I suddenly proud that our home-grown brand Yeo's is on the shelves of some obscure Parisien supermarket in France?

And well, they sell preserved Dow Gay...gosh. Preserved bean sprouts...Wonder how it tastes like...Check out the brand name..Suzi Wan..lol.

Went to the Rodin Museum..Rodin was this famous sculptor who produced this famous sculpture...The Thinker!!

Pity the sun was way up above me...couldn't get a good & clear shot of it.

The Thinker...taken from afar through the window of the 2nd level of the Museum.

This is the mini version of The Thinker.

One which Rodin did as a trial piece before embarking on the actual big piece.

I love horses!
This piece was close to 3m tall at least...or more...

Below the golden dome...lies Napolean Bonaparte's tomb...Place is called Les Invalides

The cross & altar overlooking Napolean Bonaparte's tomb...Notice the gold platings..

And this is Naoplean Bonaparte's tomb...

Squinty eyes cos of the glaring glaring sun!! But having a cup of Ben & Jerry's choclate chip ice-cream mid-way up the Eiffel Tower was definitely an experience! haha... Think I don't look like the usual self here.. haha...Had stares from people when I was taking a self-pic..

Ok boliao me...

Proceedings of an Uneventful Day

Woke, washed, went to work.

Systems testing from 10am till 1230pm.

Lunch in smelly Suntec foodcourt.

Bak Chor Mee.

Went back to office smelling like foodcourt.

Freshened up.

Back to systems testing from 2pm till 630pm.

Cleared work.

Went to Carrefour to buy hairdryer.

Left Suntec at 7-plus.

Walked to Bugis to take MRT home.

Reached home to an empty den.

Parents out at the club for a bout karaoke with their retiree friends.

Cooked pasta to fill own tummy.

Watched 9pm show on Channel 8.

Drooled over Christopher Lee.

Discovered I was still hungry.

Had a bowl of cereal and milk.

Itchy backside.

Ended up too bloated.

Bathed after show ended.

Called baby.

He bad mood.

Didn't talk much.

Blog.

Will fiddle with new hairdryer and put it to use.

Will read storybook.

Will sleep after that.

My drab Thursday.