Loosely translated to mean...I don't feel good in my own skin.
It's a recurring cadence. A silent dance between my inner and outer self.
For years, finding myself has been an issue..
I feel awkward in my own skin.
In more ways than one, I feel like a gawky teenager trying to find her own feet. Sometimes discovering she might actually have two left feet.
I feel small and uncertain. I feel inadequate and frustrated at not knowing how to proceed.
I feel a lack of in many areas and I feel incongruous. And I feel I've not achieved much in life.
I'm approaching the big Three-O.
Feeling this way at times makes me all the more afraid. I suddenly do not wish to grow up.
Being young or thinking you're younger seems to be a viable reason for feeling inadequate.
Though yes, I know. Thinking that is probably just an excuse to make myself feel better.
Hiding behind that farce of a notion seems to make things a little easier to swallow perhaps.
But then again sometimes, I'd feel wonderful about myself and proud about the things I've done.
The older I get, the more chances I've had of seeing myself in a better light.
A walking paradox haha.
Been trying to love myelf more, trust myself more, and be more proud of myself of what I am and what I've done. Been trying to build up that sense of self-worth and that ubiquitous confidence I see in others.
Hmm. Oh well, jiayou to me.
Je me dit "Jiayou!".
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