argh.

Amazing.

I don't drive. I went by public transport to SGH for my blood test this morning, had a leisurely breakfast after that and then went back to office. I reached office at 935am.

And I was still earlier than both the other two male colleagues. One came in at 945 and the other at 1015am.

Seriously. WTF?

Why are they getting more but are in office for less?

snippets

I've been busy. With this and that.
And since my last post, I'm now a Mrs. :)

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Things at work will get busier in the next few weeks and months. The new staff working with me on a particular project has been swarming me with emails on her work done. I don't enough time to go through her work!

Things outside of work will get busier too. Medical check-ups and appointments, friends, festive occassions, family (now two), gatherings, and so on.

I hope my mind can function efficiently and effectively. More chicken essence?

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I need a dress for PQ's wedding dinner. But I don't have much time left to go look for one!
*frets*

Am half-considering whether to go make a cheongsam in Chinatown or not lol.

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I shall make it a point to have smaller dinners as far as possible.

I've come to realise a heavy dinner makes you bloated the next morning and the bloatedness just carries on through the day...so yeah, will try to have smaller dinners from now on.

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Went to watch Real Steel the other day with K. Awesome show!!

It's been a long while since a movie has kept my eyes glued on the screen the whole way through. The other shows I've watched recently were boring or cliched. Real Steel was great! And it helped that Hugh Jackman was the lead actor hahaha.

Go away!

I used to be able to adopt a "Mind Over Body" attitude a few years back and "battle" impending sicknesses like fevers, coughs, colds, etc. Of course, I'd watch my diet and drink lots of water at the same time too. Most of the time, I'd emerge victorious.

These days, my mind-over-body mantra doesn't seem to work anymore though. Bleah.

Scratchy throat, slight cough and weak stomach have come a-knocking. Trying to hold the door fast shut against them!!

She

Strands of grey and white wispy hair framed her face.
95 and a half years worth of lines creased her face, some furrowing across her forehead, some extending from the corners of her eyes, some cutting across her cheeks, others bracketing her mouth.
Brown liver spots dotted her face, some darker, other lighter, some bigger, others smaller.
Both cheeks sagged a little as if weighed down by the leathery skin covering them.
Her chest rose slightly with each breath she took.

I watched her for a little while. Snuggled up under her white blanket, lying on her side in a near-foetal position, with both hands under her head and knees drawn up towards the chest.

I touched her forehead and pushed away the strands of hair there.
I tried to smoothen the furrows on her forehead but it was as if she was pondering deeply over something even in her sleep.

Finally, she sensed that someone was there and opened her eyes. And then.
Confusion in her eyes for a split second before recognition set in.

She smiled at me. And reached out to me.

I love you Granny.

To My Dear Tooth

Please hang in there and don't bring me any pain or discomfort...It's only 1.5 months more. I'm sure you can be a good tooth and stay strong till 9th November. I promise you'll only need to stay with me till then. When the doctors pluck you out, I'll remember that you've served me well over the last 2 decades.

Till here.

laments (again)

Increasing frustration with an admin staff. I hope I don't lose my patience anytime soon.

- she talks loudly and laughs alot in the office and is not serious when she needs to.
- she sometimes gives me half-baked work when I ask her for something

And....

- she sent an email to my hotmail account. the email had external parties on it. #%^%$#%3

Greedy Hammie

This brough a big smile to my face too!

Mid-Afternoon Comic Relief

I thought this was really quite funny... haha

......

There is something a little surreal about seeing friends around me having babies. Although some of their kids are already toddlers, I still feel a little strange about it.

It's kinda like hey, we used to grow up acting silly, burping in front of each other, being geeky and gawky and goofy with each other and now, they're parents.

*Disconnect*

Hmm....

The "YAY!!" stuff

I had a good run yesterday. For some reason, although the air felt a little heavy and still (cos of the haze?), I ran better yesterday compared to Monday. Maybe running and thinking about things at the same time makes me run better? haha...

Building up stamina again! Whee!!

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I've been doing some simple research on making my own wrist corsages and making ribbon roses. :) I remember when I was younger and would spend alot of time making cards and little gifts for friends and loved ones, especially during birthdays, Valentine's Day or other festive occasions. But I've grown lazy and not done so for the last couple of years except for the odd craft or two.

So I'm looking forward to piecing together my first wrist corsage! Haha hopefully it'll look decent enough. And hopefully I'll create a nice design in time for the sisters next year. :D

Whee!! Time to go Spotlight to buy materials!!
More ribbons, hot glue and glue gun, beads and other stuff!!

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Today will be a "running errands" day. After my trip to the hair salon later, I still need to go to the pharmacy to get the prescribed acne gel, pay my credit card bills (boooo....) and then collect my new passport...

Hopefully after that...I can get the chance to pop by H&M!!! :D *loves*
I wonder how the prices are compared to the outlets in Europe.

And then it's off to Spotlight after that!!! Wheeeee! :D *loves too*

Sigh...part 2

Speaking of acne. I don't have very good skin and it's been so since my teenage years. But even during that time, I don't recall having acne or so many bumps on the skin. It was random pimples on the T-zone area, typically of most kids growing up.

Signs of acne rash first occurred in Feb/Mar this year. I was told it could be due to hormonal changes in the body and was prescribed some cream to prevent the itch and rsh from spreading. It got better but came back on and on/off basis. It gets worse in the 1-2 weeks prior to me having my menses. (I hate my hormones!!)

The acne occurs mainly on the jawline area below the ears, papular acne (reddish and swollen bumps) is accumulating there and whiteheads are occuring there as well and along other parts of the jawline. :(

Went to the polyclinic earlier this morning to get some cream and a referral letter to see a dermatologist at the hospital......

Till further updates after I see the derm doctor.....

OHHH!!! The woes of a 30 year old.
Saggy skin, cellulite, acne, love handles, flabby areas....!! I feel like I am back to my teenage years, fretting over skin and weight!

p/s: I hope some of the acne clears by the ROM!!

Sigh...

Since I was a child, I'd visit the hospital or some medical institution at least once or twice a year. Well, maybe for the period of time between 1995 to 2002 I didn't really need to go. Then 2005 came and monthly or bi-weekly visits to the hospital were the norm for that year right through till early 2006.

And then it was back to yearly follow-ups, check-ups, etc.

It's gonna be a "xian" time for the next few months again with check-ups and follow-ups. Pocket's gonna get a big hole again.

21 Sept PM - Acne/Derma issue, CGH Dermatology Clinic
18 Oct AM - Blood test, National Heart Centre
2 Nov AM - Yearly checkup + ECG, National Heart Centre
9 Nov AM - Dental extraction, CGH Dental Clinic

Easily $600-1000 might be spent. -_-'' I can go HK or BKK for a holiday with that amount of money leh.

To those who have been strong and healthy all this while. Please continue taking good care of yourself and stay strong!!

uggggh

no respect for people who do not bother to do a good and proper job when it's for matters not relating to their own projects.

today is wednesday. but it feels like a blue monday.

Waka Waka Eh Eh...

I'm really going to Senegal in October for a week. Not looking forward to it actually. Abit leychey.
Went for 3 jabs yesterday at Tan Tock Seng Hospital for my Hep A part 2, tetanus and meningococcal (meningitis) vaccines.

I still need to go see my GP to get anti-malaria pills.

The only bright spark is that I will be flying there via Paris. I have a 9-hour layover in Paris and I get to practice my French! Wonder if I can get out of the airport and walk around for awhile in town. Need to plan hmm...

:)

Voila! Dress and suit chosen, ring pillow bought, dress shoes bought. All that's left for the ROM is to confirm the food menu and to collect the certificates!

Currently exploring the making of wrist corsages though these would be for the actual day. I've got existing materials that I can use to make an initial one just to see how it turns out to be. :) It helps to have a drawer full of art and craft materials hehe.

Art and craft time!!

verbal diarrhoea

I was angry and frustrated last night because I was sort of chided by my boss for being late in handing in a simple piece of work. Explained to him that I was already done with it last week but was pending my colleague for his input (which was probably going to be just one or two paragraphs only).

I am still feeling frustrated this morning.

===============
Open letter to HC.

It's only a simple paragraph or two. Why do you need to drag it for so long? The deadline I gave you was last Friday. I've reminded you a few times since last week and even at the start of this week. I reminded you again yesterday to hand in your portion to me since you were not going to be in office the whole of today. You said yes and that you'd send it to me last night.

YOU HAVE NOT SENT ME ANYTHING AT ALL AS AT 945AM THIS MORNING.

It's not the first time you are doing this. If we're working on a project and you fall short of completing your portion of things, I come in to plug the gap because I don't want the whole project to end up being a slipshod effort. Just don't take it for granted that I will always do so.

I've been patient for a long time. The rest of us have been patient for a long time. How long more do you want us to cover your ass for you? There is seriously a f**king limit to what and how long more we can tolerate your lack of urgency, your lack of organisation skills, your lack of concern, you lack of admnistrative skills and your whatever.

If you want to go down, don't drag us with you. Because of your delays, you make it seem as if we're the incompetent ones. I don't deny you're a smart guy. But wtf?? Can you please get your act together??? 不要拖累我们.

Ugh.

Talking to....My Feet

I never got to own a pair of Converse shoes. I remember bugging my mum for a pair when I was in secondary school but I always ended up with BM2000 shoes from Bata.

Lately, the thought of having a pair of Converse shoes has resurfaced. :)

I went to the store two days ago and saw a grey pair and an army green pair which I liked.
Hmm....to get or not to get....

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On the prowl now for a pair of suitable heels to match the ROM dress.

Yes, I've chosen the dress already. A short, simple one with little lace flowers on the tube bodice.
I think I look like a little girl in the dress though....sigh. Didn't quite turn out to be the slightly more sophisticated look I was hoping for...

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My bunions have been acting up the last few days.

I'd start off okay in the morning but by the time I reach Tampines at the end of the day and walk home, my bunions and toes would bring me much aches and discomfort. :( Bleah

quick updates?

Bought a new top the other day. As usual, the granny (yes, granny, not auntie) in me surfaced.
I'm looking at it now. Darn it looks granny-like.

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Teleconference at 8pm tomorrow night with folks from the States. Not liking it.

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Aching bunions and toes from shopping in heels. Not liking it. Got distracted and forgot that I wanted to look for a ring pillow too.

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Menses almost over and is in trickles now. Yay! Skin is clearing up too. The older I get, the more the hormones act up and the skin suffers as a result. Bleah.

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Two guys just told me today that I am getting "bah bah". Arms getting bigger and flabbier.
NOT liking this. :( Sigh.........

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I think I am not getting enough sleep. 'Nuff said.

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Ok, to bed I will go.

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Now.

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Good night world.

YAY!

H&M has finally opened in Singapore!! I should find a time one day and go scour the whole store!!
Wheee!!

Jackson

I heard Robbie Williams' "Better Man" on the radio earlier tonight. I love the song for its sincerity and down-to-earth feel. And of course Robbie's voice is just so lovely in this song.

This song never fails to remind me of Jackson as well.

I first met Jackson back in 2004. A long time back come to think of it. We were at a BBQ and at that time, the first Singapore Idol was in its auditions stage. Jackson loved singing and he was keen to participate in the auditions. He wanted to sing "Better Man" for the auditions and gathered a bunch of us together so that he could sing to us and have us critique his singing. For a tall, big and heavy guy, he was quite shy initially as he cleared his throat and prepared to sing. He then stood on a stone bench and sang his heart out.

I remember thinking, his voice was average, just like any other man on the street. But he was eager and earnest and sincere and I gave him brownie points just for those attributes. I kept my comments to myself though for it was only my first time meeting him and I did not want to say anything wrong especially when I had heard some bits of his background.

Jackson went through a hard period sometime back in his life and grew a little mentally unstable as a result. There were times when he would suddenly disappear for a few weeks and we'd hear that he had heard voices in his head and so he took to hiding under a table in the church nearest his home. Or we'd hear that he refused to take his medication and hence his temper became volatile again and he hit his father at home. Stuff like these.

But he was still a good guy at heart. Eager to learn about life and love and people. Sometimes innocent and naive too. He would get all silly and romantic and write poems. He would get philosophical and ask questions that no one found easy to answer like what is love, what do you think love encompasses, what is the most important lesson life has taught you so far, etc...

We got along alright. Whenever we met at gatherings, he'd come greet me enthusiastically. I suspect he had a soft spot for me haha. Sometimes people didn't really talk to him and he'd end up in a corner either drinking or stonigng or staring into space. I would go over to talk to him or keep him company for awhile so he wouldn't feel so left out and I think he appreciated that.

I lost touch with him since early 2009 though. But he was in my Facebook and I'd occassionally see him post a cryptic message or two in his status or he'd post up one of two of his poems.

He suddenly messaged me through Facebook a few days ago. I usually keep myself on an offline status but for some reason that day I accidentally allowed myself to be available for an FB chat and then he messaged me.

He sounded happy and more at peace and I felt happy for him too. He said he no longer hung out with that group of friends and now had a whole new circle of friends. When I asked him why, he said that he had found that he could not really fit in with the old group of friends due to differences in mindsets and values and hence decided to keep away. He found himself a new social circle and was feeling happier with them. He'd also had some of poems published in the newsletter of the rehabilitation centre he was with.

Jackson asked me too, what do you think love is about? I was at work and did not have the bandwidth to mull over such a question. I answered off the top of my head and I told him I thought love was about patience, understanding, compromise and emphathy, amongst other things. He seemed to be satisfied with my reply and agreed with me too haha.

We talked for just a little while more before I had to end the conversation. Before we said our virtual goodbyes, he said he was glad to have known me. I was a sincere and real person he said, not some fake-o with a not-so-good heart. I thought it was sweet of him to make such a comment lol.

Stay happy Jackson. And stay true to yourself and continue doing what you like best.
Take care. :)