moolah no lah

I seldom swipe for so much payments on my credit card.
I got a shock when I received a message from DBS this morning asking me if I wanted to increase my credit card limit. My initial reaction was whether my card had been fraudulently used.

Did some Math and then realised that hey, I actually did soend so much money within this month alone!! And it's only Day 10 of the month lol...

Time to eat grass...

hmm.

Words and nuances are often misconstrued and lost in the online virtual world.
Words meaning something to one may mean something totally different to another.
And people don't talk as much to each other in maintaining relationships as before?

The more connected we get, the more disconnected we get as well?

afternoon rants

Just found out from staff that The Coll told them not to approach me anymore for any advice on general enquiries from the public and just go to her only.

So, she's carving me out of the equation. -_-
Win liao lor.

===============
I've been put on another dose of doxycycline and also been given antibiotic cream to zap the stupid thing away from my forehead.

Darn it, I've never had any acne cyst before and suddenly over the last 2 weeks, I had 2 of them??!!

Please hormones...don't wreak havoc on my skin now...I only have less than 4 months to the big day!

===============
Maybe the basil pesto pasta wasn't a good idea for lunch. Tummy has been feeling bloated and heavy since then.

Will you marry me?

I read with amusement at the recent news of how a man proposed to his girlfriend of 3 years. He had arranged for a flash mob just outside the Art & Science Museum at MBS. Dancing to the tune of "Marry You" by Bruno Mars, he popped the question to his girlfriend.

That guy turned out to be one of my ex-colleagues. I did not keep in touch with him since I left the organisation 5 years ago. I'd always felt he was one to love attention and drama haha. Anyway, I'm happy for Charlie and his fiance. May their union in the near future bring them much happiness and everlasting bliss.

I was thinking.

Why are marriage proposals getting so competitive these days? Seems like as if so many guys are trying to outdo each other? I had a friend who got up on stage at Timbre to sing a song and propose on stage. Another who sprinkled the whole hotel room (including the carpeted floor) with rose petals and different presents and a big bouquet of 99 roses. Another who lit candles on a grass patch spelling out the words "will you marry me". Now Charlie has upped the ante with his flash mob proposal.

The trend seems to be going on elsewhere in the world as well. I've noticed that in recent years you start seeing more and more photos and videos of dramatic proposals being circulated on the net.

Then again, where there's demand, there's supply. Are these men going to such lengths because their other halves are asking for it?

Whatever happened to the good old "down on one knee-will you marry me" type of simple proposal?

Or maybe it's just me who doesn't need the theatrics.

Miss that feeling

It's been a long time since I had that feeling. That feeling of seeing a random something and feeling the need to write about it. Or seeing something which triggers a story which in turn starts unravelling on its own in my grey matter.

I miss that feeling.

That feeling when a random thought floats across my mind and I feel the urge to write it down. Or when I stand alone in the crowd and my mind starts stringing out simple poems and verses on its own. Or when I witness something mundane on the street and my mind starts thinking about life's coffer of amazing things.

It's slowly slipping away over the last couple of years. I hope I don't lose it completely.

I used to spend 1-2 hours each night glued to my PC typing away or blogging away. These days I hardly do so and I probably spend that amount of time on my blog in a whole month.

The big picture

Speaking or discussing things with people who draft and strategise policies for a living makes me feel inadequate. Alot of these are the public service scholars and those armed with Masters and PhDs.

I feel small and somewhat dumb when I'm sitting in with them in a discussion. Half the time I am lost in the wilderness, the other half of the time I am trying hard to keep up. And most of the time my mouth is shut. I just listen in. How to comment when I have no idea what is going on half the time?

I tried asking a question today. And the reply I had from someone was in such a "matter-of-fact, you mean you didn't deduce it?" manner that I retreated back into my shell again after that. Sigh.

They speak in motherhood statements and the big picture. They speak in "what ifs" and "what if nots". They speak in nuances and angles of influences. They speak in positions and propositions and ???...???.....

Oh bugger. :(

Someone suggested to me that I could seek a job rotation request and go join the policy team. No, definitely not my type of work.

...

There are some people who are probably just acquaintances now. Partly due to not being in each other's circle anymore and partly due to some not reciprocating when I tried to maintain contact.

So when they suddenly appear with the intention of being gossipy, I find it not my cup of tea.
No, not at all.

.......

The list seems to be growing.

4 male cousins can’t attend the wedding: 1 has a clash of wedding with me, 2 are in Australia studying, 1 is working in Shanghai. Now my mum’s best friend and her husband can’t attend because they need to go Canada to help look after their toddler grandson for a few weeks.

Sigh.

WTH

The Coll asked me about something yesterday afternoon and made it seem like I was not following proper procedures. I clarified certain points and left it at that. I did not say more as I did not want to seem too defensive. AND I do not report to her so I didn't see the need to tell her so many things.

During a team meeting with the boss in the later half of the afternoon, she brought the matter up again for discussion. Was she trying to make me look bad??

I mean, what the hell. This is my area of work. If you want to bring this up for discussion at a team meeting, fine. I am open to discussions and not making decisions unilaterally. But at least have the slightest bit of decency to tell me you are going to bring it up. Was she trying to sabotage me??

Anyway, the key word is "TRY". She tried to, but she failed.
The boss and the other senior manager agreed with the way I handled things.

Enough said.

parfois

Sometimes I feel like a bystander in this world. A little detached, a little disconnected. The world flows and ebbs around you. Sometimes you get overwhelmed and don’t know where to go. You’re afraid and end up staying where you are as it’s the only safe and familiar place you know. Sometimes you get pushed along with the currents, bobbing and floating along, like a piece of driftwood with no particular direction in mind. Sometimes, you float along thinking you’ve travelled far but then you find yourself back in the same place full circle. Sometimes, I think I ramble too much. Sometimes...I feel like I am left behind while others progress at a pace much faster than mine.

Snap, Shoot, Click

I arrived at the photo studio at 930am yesterday and got home at 930pm. I think I probably spent close to 3 hours in total during the whole day doing hair and make-up and changing in and out of outfits.

I hope the photos turn out good in the end because there were a number of shots and poses that both K & I thought were abit too cheesy for our liking. :( Well, we’ll be heading back there in about 2 weeks’ time to pick out photos that we like for our wedding album. More updates after that session.

We were at Portsdown Road in mid-afternoon and “borrowed” a lady’s veranda to do some shots. She was so nice about it and even made us cold organic cherry drinks (seeing how hot and bothered we were). I felt so paiseh about it…

It’s amazing how make-up can alter a person’s appearance so much. I thought I looked so different with meticulously coiffured hair and meticulously applied make-up. The make-up artist plastered my eyes with 2 layers of false eyelashes! She said my double eyelids were quite uneven and “messy” as well. But I loved how she covered all my pimple scars and large pores haha.

I changed the colour of my eyeshadow and my hairstyle a total of 3 times.

The end result of all that hairspray and make-up?

12-14 cotton pads taken to clean my face and wipe off ALL traces of make-up. 2 times of shampooing and 2 times of conditioning to wash off all gunk from my hair and restore it back to the usual (almost) state. 5-10mins to search for all hairpins left in my hair. A grand total of an hour in the washroom.

I really hope the photos turn out nice!

Nom nom nom nom

It will be a busy afternoon ahead. Before I get my head buried in work, I'll just share this picture. Happened to come across it and it brought a smile to my face. :)

I just had baby carrots for lunch too hhaa.

Ok, enough of these.

Time for serious work.

TGIF?

Sometimes, I question the need for a PA role in my unit.
Sometimes by the time I instruct and guide her how to do things, so much time would have been wasted that I'd probably be better off doing it myself.

If it was her first time doing it, I'm alright to spend time guiding her along. No problems. We all have our first time doing things.
If it was her second time doing it, I'm okay to guide a little as well. No problems. We sometimes need longer to know and remember how to do things.

This is her Nth time doing it. Where N is at least >10.
Why the hell am I still spending time telling her how to do it??

It is just a simple hotel room booking. You have all the details. No need to ask me so many things.............

hmmm

The longer I am in the workforce....

• the less open I am with most people


• the longer it takes for me to warm up to others


• the more untrusting I become, both to new people I meet and existing people in the workplace

And I am in a government agency. I wonder how it would be if I were to have been in a private company.

punctuality and working hours

I've been in the office for slightly more than an hour. It's 915am now.

None of the 2 guy technical managers are in yet. I don't expect them in till 930am maybe? Well, one of them saunters into office at 945-10am every other day. Sometimes either one of them disappears for 2-3 hours at a stretch and you have no idea where they go.
And they leave on the dot at 6pm.

Over time, you wonder about the fairness of things?

Tan

Someone just told me that I look bronzed after I came back from India.

Bleah! My wedding photoshoot is coming soon!! Hope the photographer takes good shots of me and uses his lighting to make me slightly "fairer"!

Fingers crossed

This project has hit so many snags and it is only the beginning. There is still one more year to go before the actual event. I hope things work out eventually. Hoping for some good news in the coming weeks.

mistakes

Sigh. I've been making more mistakes at work again. Especially so over the last 2 weeks. Maybe I was distracted by the trip???

Or simply not motivated?

Initiative. The lack of.

First day back to work after the 2-week trip to Delhi.
Discovered 2 staff were sitting on some things because they were just hanging around waiting for instructions from me.

All I ask for is some initiative. Simple things also need to keep waiting for instructions? If I need to look into such small details all the time, won't I be unneccessarily busy??

More of Delhi

Meals
More curries everyday. All the Chinese folks were tired of curries already. Last night, I brought a bunch of 10 Singaporeans, HongKongers, Taiwanese and Malaysians to an Asian restaurant about 5 mins away from the hotel by cab. It served Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Malaysian, Indonesian, Cambodian and Japanese. We absolutely enjoyed ourselves and I must say the food was very good. Quite authentic and totally exceeded our expectations. Even the Chinese tea was authentic.

The Socials
As with any conference/meeting/event I attend, there are socials, be they official or unofficial ones. At one unofficial gathering in the evening in the hotel’s lounge, I was “harassed” by an Indian professor from Malaysia. He kept coming on to me and wanted me to dance with him and even asked me to go with him “behind the pillar” (his exact words). I said no, albeit with a small smile because I didn't want to offend anyone, backed away and stayed away from him throughout the rest of the evening.

He then shifted his target to a young 20-yr-old Chinese Malaysian girl who was the niece of a lady delegate. She had tagged along to help her aunt out in the event. This professor told her he preferred Chinese girls and those with smaller breasts. -_-‘’ I mean, seriously??!! You're a professor and you conduct yourself this way? This is a social function but it's still an industry event and there's basic decorum to be followed. Gosh. Both of us avoided him thereafter, with the help of some of our other male colleagues and friends.

Side note: We discovered later on that at 4am that same night, he called the hotel concierge and asked to be sent to the hospital due to some terrible stomach discomfort.

Air/Water/Dryness
Nose poop is blackish at times. Goes to show how dirty the air is. I think my skin’s not used to the water too. I’ve got itchy skin on my legs and part of my torso. :( My thighs have red scratch marks now due to my over-zealous scratching. My skin is dry too….

Room/Weather
Room is rather cold sometimes though the air-conditioning is off. The toilet still flushes on its own from time to time. I'm ok if it happens in the day but it gets a little creepy at night. Lol. There were some knocking sounds coming from the air-con vent last night as well. FIrst time I've heard it in the time I'm here. Oh well...I just mouthed "Hail Mary" in my mind, hid under the covers and went to sleep. :)

Weather's turning cold. Strange when last week was warm. I was freezing last night when walking back from the restaurant.

The Rich, The Poor, And the In-Betweens
You see the rich dressed in fine tailored clothes and driving big cars. Then you see the middle class dressed okay and bringing their children out for some fun in the parks. Then you see the poor and destitute dressed in rags and filthy clothes, barefoot and hanging around scrounging for food or begging for money. You see children with kohl-lined eyes waiting at traffic junctions and when they spot a car carrying tourists, they come running to the car and knocking on the windows and asking for food or money. Or they start dancing in front of you in the hope of getting money.

The disparity between the lives of people. When you see how some of these people live in the slums, you question the way you live your life with its excesses and abundance. And you feel some form of guilt as well. As a Taiwanese friend put it: "Tong Ren Bu Tong Ming". (We are all people, but we have different lives and destinies."