Not good

Don't feel like I'm in a good place right now.

My patience level is absolutely low. My irritability trigger is high.
I get affected negatively by certain people.
I lose my temper quite easily at the kids.

And I'm having a friggin headache right now.
Doing too much policy related work maybe.

Year-end

That certain smell in the air when year-end rolls around and when Xmas is in the air....
When there's a certain crispness and hope and anticipation....
When there's a certain jolly-ness in people's steps....

I can't smell it yet...but I can sense it's imminent arrival....

Xmas

I sometimes start my Xmas shopping as early as June or July if I see good deals or if I happen to chance upon something suitable. Some people say I am kiasu.

Oh well, I just did a count...Each year, I need to get close to 40 Xmas gifts...if I include year-end birthdays, then the count will be 40-plus...

If I don't start early, I'll go mad in the Oct/Nov/Dec period, which happens to coincide with the time the girls' school conducts all its parent engagement activities. Doubly busy.

Anyway, this year, due to planning and preparations for the Osaka trip, I am a little behind on buying gifts...

Ganbatte.........

Hmm.....cousins

It is strange.

I see the cousins on my mother's side at least twice each year. More often than I get to see the cousins on my father's side of the family. But I feel closer to the ones on my father's side.

Why ah?

Is it the Peranakan-ness that bonds us more? Or the fact that our grannies were very close as sisters? And hence the bond flowed down the generations?....Or maybe the fact that our lifestyles and the way we were brought up were more similar? Or maybe we're just more easy-going people? Maybe I feel closer to them because they are all much older than me?

Duck. Yum.

We had a 2-table dinner at Majestic Restaurant yesterday to celebrate EeMa turning 80 years old.
The Marina One branch, not the Gardens by the Bay branch.

Food was mostly good.

There was one dish that was interesting and stood out to me. I'm not a duck lover. I don't go for it actually. Not a fan of roast duck too.

But yesterday's Roasted Irish Silver Hill duck was really quite nice.

It's nickname is apparently the Wagyu of Duck.

I ended up researching about it online today haha....
Glad to have been introduced to it! Maybe we could order it for K's family's CNY celebration...hmm...

Grouchy old woman

Irksome. 

The Coll irked me this morning.

And then one of her staff as well. 

Ugh. Irksome.

I admit. I am irritable. 

There are some folks out there, thankfully 1 or 2 only, whom I cannot speak to without feeling irritated. I try to minimise any sort of interaction with them. 

One such person is The Coll's staff, one particular lady who got off with me on the wrong foot in her first week here.

A case of 八字不合 maybe?

Or maybe my mind and heart are getting smaller. 

I am turning into a grouchy old woman. 

Realisation of the Day

Nadya's social life seems busier than mine. lol....

Yum Yum

People are treating me meals recently lol..I don't know why! The stars aligned and somehow I am receiving lovely treats. Many thanks and I truly appreciate it...

Could have been one more treat except I managed to intercept early and treated the person instead lol. It was Eddie...we ended up squabbling at the cashier and were shoving our cards in the cashier's face. :D

Love at 50

There has been rumours about my current boss and my ex-colleague for a long time already. Since 11 years back when I first joined the organisation. Back then, my boss was actually in another department and was stationed in Brunei for a couple of years.

Back then he was married and in the midst of a divorce. My ex-colleague, who was then already a divorcee, was apparently the third party...and since then, on and off, there has been rumours about them two. 

Fast forward to 2015. My boss was posted back to Singapore and took up a new position. He came over to my department to head it! Since he came back to Singapore, there has been sightings of them both in various places and shopping centres...

In mid-2017, my ex-colleague left our department. 

In recent months, my boss has been more blatant about their relationship...he even brought her along on an official trip. I happened to chance upon their photos when the meeting organiser posted photos of the event on their FB page. 

And today...this morning...after dropping the kids off, I bumped right smack into them at Paya Lebar MRT station. 

I've kind of already accepted that they were together since a long time back even though my ex-colleague kept denying it. 

I think they should just be open about it. :) Afterall, he has been divorced for so long already....it doesn't really matter anymore. 

They are both in their 50s. I wonder...how does love and being in a relationship feel when you're at that age? Is it more of a companionship thingy? Or there's still that passion and excitedness involved? Much like when we were in our teens...

Are there still late night phone conversations? Or late night back and forth text messaging? Are there still giggles and cuddles at that age? Do people still hold hands at that age? Will my boss and ex-colleague get married or are they just content with how things are right now? 

Chesty Peanut

Peanut's cough has lingered on for too long. 3 weeks or more maybe? Over Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, it seemed to have gotten worse again. She just finished a dose of antibiotics!

She slept very badly on Tuesday night. She was coughing every few seconds through the night and I was overjoyed whenever she managed to have a long stretch of sleep for an hour plus or so.

We brought her to the PD again on Wednesday morning. Although he heard nothing in her lungs, he suggested we do an Xray to be sure. Especially since we'd tried all sorts of medication and even a dose of antibiotics.

And so....it turns out that she's got mild bronchitis i.e. some phlegm in her lungs.

She's now put on another round of antibiotics, a different type from the one given previously.

My poor Peanut...真的是吃药长大 sigh....
Get well soon sweetie...it hurts Mama to see you cough so badly...
And yes, you must really get well soon ya...Mama looks worse than a panda these days...
(Concealer's my new best friend)

Session with Starcrash

Starcrash..aka Chloe!

Had dinner with her last night and it was a good session. :)

I told her "It always feels very nice to catch up with you." And I meant it from the bottom of my heart!

She said that she liked how we always just seamlessly pick things up from where we left off, even if it was a few years ago when we last met one-on-one.

Congratulations on your upcoming gal! I shall see a gorgeous you on that day!
And I know things are sketchy and uncertain at the moment but I believe things will pan out well and smoothly with you guys eventually!....

Of crocheting and Granny....

Once I successfully crochet a coaster using normal yarn...I want to start learning how to make doilies. 

Back to being Granny's girl...

Granny used to do some simple doilies when I was young and in primary school. I couldn't yet handle those at that point in time and so she only taught me basic crochet stitches and how to make a pouch. By the time I grew older and could probably master doilie-making tecniques, she was getting old and her fingers would not cooperate with her anymore. By then, she'd also stopped sewing her own blouses and even simple things like fixing buttons. I'd also been more occupied with friends and school and didn't learn it from her.....

Come to think of it, my mum didn't teach me much sewing, I think I learnt most things from Granny. Even my basic cross-stitch skills were taught by Granny....

Now that I've picked up my crochet needles again (and bought new ones of different sizes too), I can't help but remember some of those special moments with her when she taught me all these things....

Guess some of these crafts remind me of her alot. 

Laoniang is still sick

Went to the doc again on Saturday morning. Another clinic.
Was told my throat had pus near the left tonsil....i.e. a throat infection had developed.
Was put on antibiotics and given medicated lozenges. Was also given something for the congested nose and Fluimucil for the phelgm.

Still feeling under the weather but I think I'm on the mend already....slowly but surely....
At least I don't feel that feverish anymore...

Jiayou jiayou....

Laoniang is sick

Stuffed nose. Couldn’t breathe at night while sleeping. Had to breathe through my mouth. And that’s why I’m having a slight sore throat too. A secondary issue that popped up. 

Slight fever last night as well and I’m aching abit now though there is no fever. 

Went to the doc this morning. And the sweet lady doc gave me 2 days’ MC. I love her! Haha....

happy

Is when I spent 30-45mins this morning browsing through the shelves of a “macham macham” store, i.e one of those neighborhood stores where they sell anything and everything from sewing needles to plastic bags, and cigarettes to toilet seats. 

My mum calls these stores “macham macham” stores and the name’s stuck with me too. :) Macham macham means anything and everything in Malay. 

I bought several things to beef up my pathetic sewing kit at home. Yay! Now I’ve got silver and black press studs, a red coloured unpicker, a traditional tailor’s tape, and extra spoils of white and black threads. 

And I managed to find something I missed having. Those little metal scissors that we used when we were young. Yay yay yay! And it cost only 50cents! 

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

Knives?
Swords?
Axes?
Blades?


Words.

累.泪

累
Alyssa woke many times last night due to her cough and phelgm and stuffed nose.
Part of me felt pained to see her in such discomfort.
Part of me was raw and irritable at having been woken up many times.
Another part of me couldn't sleep well too as my nose was a little runny as well. (She must have passed it to me already)
Despite the multiple interruptions, my frazzled mind somehow decided it wanted to throw in a highly disturbing dream to add into the mix.

泪
Been crying these few days. Due to shows that I watch, articles that I read, and just so.
The disturbing dream that I had last night threw me into a bit of an emotional disarray as well.
I am a pantang person. I guess I won't jot down all details here. The details are fuzzy to me now anyway, though I remembered them clearly when I just woke from it.
But it's suffice to share that it involved the death of someone very dear to me. :(

Wish List Part 2

If we had a new home, what would be the new appliances/equipment that I would like to have? In addition to what we're having right now.....

1. Standing garment steamer. I've been in love with these since my days working as a "management trainee" in a textile retail company. That was my first time seeing and using one. All of 16 years ago! :)
2. Bigger TV. This isn't for me. It's for K...who has been yearning for a big TV since I dunno when haha. 
3. Big oven. Convection, not microwave....Enough to put a turkey or a big chicken in :D
4. Airfryer! Something I've wanted but can't get because we don't have space in our kitchen. 
5. Pressure Cooker. On the fence for this one though...
6. Printer/Scanner. Something that's needed in our home but we somehow don't have it. This will definitely come in handy when the girls get older and start formal education. 
7. Hifi. I'm dated. I still refer to it as a hifi. I just want to have a small radio to listen to. And also a music system or some sort where I can play spotify or my own music list...
8. Threadmill. Yes, for keeping moderately fit....

Anything else? Hmm....

My list shows that I'm not that technologically advanced lol. 

No Google home device listed there or any of those fancy stuff. To be honest, I have no idea what those things do actually or how they can help make our lives more efficient. Sometimes, I find that having these devices around make me more stressed and complicate things more for me actually. ;p 

Maybe I'm traditional or maybe I am resistant to change. :)

Wish List

If I were to get a new home, and...
If I were to have sufficient funds...
I would like to have....

• Enough space for the 2 girls to run around and grow up in
• Enough space for the 4 of us to have common bonding spaces and yet, also have enough areas for each of us to have our own private spaces
• Enough storage space for my clothes and bags
• Enough storage space for the girls' books, clothes, art materials and toys
• A big kitchen! With enough space to store all the electrical appliances that we would like to get but can't because of our currently tiny kitchen 
• A mini indoor area for my indoor plants and terrariums
• A mini outdoor area for my outdoor plants
• A study for K for his trading and videos and reading
• A study for the girls when they start with projects and homework and mugging for exams
• A study for me to indulge in my hobbies, and to do work
• A dining area where we can put a proper dining table where at least 8 to 10 people can sit around
• Enough space for a coffee table for the living room 

Seems like I am big on space...

Pun intended lol. 

Too much to ask for?

One can always dream..............

想当年

Laoniang had a nice bum up till maybe 5-6-7 years ago...Yes, I sincerely believe that.
It used to be pert and perky and had erm...enough flesh on it.

These days though...it seems to have lost its perkiness...and it's gone flat.
Not sure if deflated is the right word but yeah...you get the drift.

I wore a dress yesterday to go out with K and when I looked in the mirror....it was almost like a flat line from the back of my neck to my calves....

Not "qiao" anymore....

:(