Eyes...windows to our soul?

2 weeks since my last post.

It's 28 Jan today. It's my first day back at work after last week's fiasco? happening? incident?.....

And so, on 22 Jan, I went for my eye checkup with the retina specialist. We reached at 8-plus and only saw the doc at 10am. Was told that the right eye's retina had some small holes that needed to be mended through a laser procedure. The procedure was to be done that day itself and would take less than 10minutes.

K and I waited till 12pm and then it was my turn for the procedure. As with all procedures and surgeries I've been through, including 2 c-sections, the doctor would explain what would happen next and run me through the whole thing. There would be preparations and pre-empts for the patient.

When I went into the room, I was told to sit down and a nurse put numbing eyedrops for me. I was told to put my head on a machine and look to my right. Then to my surprise (and horror), the procedure immediately started. No pre-empt, no explanation nothing. While fast, the whole process was uncomfortable and I felt pain from the laser shots.

What followed next was very unnerving. One of the scariest moments of my life actually. I wasn't even that scared when I went for my brain surgery or my c-sections...

I opened my eyes but couldn't see out of my right eye. I could only see the colour red. A solid wall of red. I was brought back to a seat in the waiting area and I sat down next to K.

I remember feeling very unwell. I remember telling K that I had no time to prepare myself and the procedure took place suddenly. I remember telling K that I was feeling very unwell. I was starting to pant and could feel myself becoming faint. When I opened my left eye I could only see grey/green vision. I think I told K I was going to puke and faint. I could vaguely hear him telling me that it was ok, that I should be thinking too much, that I should try to relax....I could feel the blood drain from my face. By then he'd called a nurse since I said I was going to throw up.

I vaguely know nurses were around me. I could hear one of them saying that I was very pale and that I should be made to lie down cos my BP was very low. (I found out later that my BP was only 75/37.) I remember breaking out in sweat even though I was in a cardigan. I remember a nurse pricking my fingertip, my left index finger to be exact, to check for my sugar level. I heard someone call out 7.4 (the sugar level reading).

I was subsequently looked at by a medical officer and had my ECG taken twice at the eye clinic. The ECG tests were normal. It was around an hour after I lay down that I was feeling better and they decided to wheel me to the AnE.

The AnE triage nurse took my BO twice and it was still low, around 88/43. Was monitored and shifted from the main area to the observation area. I had another ECG done and it was good too. Was pricked again to check my sugar level and by then it was 5.2, which is still a normal reading...

They gave me IV fluids to bring my BP back up. When I'd rested enough, K was also allowed to come in to see me. He bought some food for me. It was 3pm by then. I managed to eat the food he bought and my B subsequently went back to a normal reading of 113/72.

AnE discharged me at 4pm. The AnE doc in charge of me, a certain Dr Edwin Tan I think, explained that it was a vasovagal attack. A bodily reaction by the nervous system where the body reacts to a "shock" or pain by dropping the blood pressure and heart rate. Hence the fainting...Some other AnE doc told me that "eye procedures are notorious for such bodily reactions". Not sure about this comment though cos the eye clinic nurses told me this was the first time they'd seen someone have this kind of reaction to a laser procedure.

K just feels that my anxiety brought about this reaction. To be honest, this recent incident has brought my anxiety back. Trying to keep a control on myself and my thoughts/emotions.

It's been almost a week after the procedure, the eye is still having a slight redness, and slight aches from time to time. There is also still some swelling in the upper eyelid area. I'm without eye make-up today and a colleague said I look sleepier and a little woozy haha. So I guess eyeliners really do brighten up one's eyes quite abit. CNY is in a weeks' time. Not sure if I am able to use eye makeup by then....if not then...I'll just look less nice for this year.....

Sigh. The last 2-3 months have not been very good for me. I hope the Year of the Golden Pig will bring me better things.....Fighting!