the other me

I stand outside the bubble looking in.
Looking in at the other me inside the bubble.

The other me holds a ciggy.
Puffing away. Puffing away whatever bad thoughts, stresses, unhappiness there might be.
The other me stands alone, leaning against a railing, overlooking a river.
It seemed familiar, the place...esplanade? one fullerton? collyer quay? boat quay? clarke quay?

The other me looks a tad older & wiser.
Signs of whatever has gone on through the years is written on the face, only slightly though.
More weather-beaten but surprisingly, more well-toned & womanly.
The other me wears a smart, well-tailored blue striped shirt and a black skirt ending just above the knees. Covered heels.
The image screams 'Corporate'.

The other me still has long hair.
More layered & dyed a dark brown with a few lighter shades of brown streaked through.

The other me stares out to the river.
It is night-time and she looks a little dreamy and pre-occupied, staring at the lights reflected on the water surface.
The ciggy dies out and the other me throws it into the river below.
She stays there against the railings for a long time. Hugging her arms around herself.

I stand outside the bubble looking in. I think to myself.
What is she thinking about? Why is she there?
Has she taken her dinner? How is her life now?
How old is this other me?
Who/What is in her life now? Why isn't she carrying a bag?
Is she going back to office to do OT?
Or is someone else waiting for her at a dinner table elsewhere?

=====
Tis a dream I had last night.
A snippet into my future?
Or my over-imaginative mind just fabricating a scene..?

....

There's a difference between Mr/Miss Know-It-All.
And Mr/Miss Think-They-Know-It-All.

Both irritates me to some aspect..
But the latter irritates me most..

========
As a true friend..would you want to:

- tell someone what you think they want to hear? or...
- tell them the truth? even if it hurts bad?

tmr's friday!

WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

18th Jan 2007.
D-Day when I get to see my 4 pseudo lovers in the flesh...
And when I get to hear Sebby live...*hoots*

Went to Sistic just now to get Il Divo tix..
And yeah, am watching it ALONE...realised it's on a Thursday at 8pm...Ahboy can't make it..
He offered to take half day..but nah...
Didn't want him to waste his leave on such a concert afterwhich he'll probably strangle me when it ends...
And well..didn't think any other peeps might appreciate them..so didn't bother trying to jio others...
Yeah, guess I'm a loner in some ways...

Hope to be able to sneak in a camera...
Will I be cuffed if I run backstage? Hmm mm...hehe..

==========
Prolly heading to the doc tomorrow morn.

The 2 rash areas on both my thighs aren't getting better...
And they were itching like crazy when i was lunching with XP, Kok & San this afternoon....

It's kinda weird...everyone's getting rashes..boss, kok, diana, wilson...bleah............
Hope it's the air in office...hope the doc gives me 5 days MC so I can stay away from office... (yeah..fat hope)...

==========
Speaking of lunch..

The buffet lunch at Siam Kitchen in Bugis Junction really filled me up...
To the BRIM.

Couldn't walk properly after that cos I was trying to suck my tummy in...
Whilst trying to maintain a good posture...
And trying to maintain a straight face.. haha..

==========
I hate to be a spoilsport...
But shit but I ain't the least excited about the company D&D.

And try as I might to muster up abit of interest...But...
Nah, decided to be true to my heart...

I still ain't the least bit interested...
Hiakzz..

==========
I hate squealers.
I hate gigglers.
I hate act-cuters.
I hate naggers.
I hate over-exciters.

I love suave-ers.
I love diplomatic-ers.
I love smart-ers.
I love quick-witters.
I love quiet-ers.

==========
Was with Marc that day...
Said he wanted to get turtles...
And he wanted 3!

Asked him what would he name them.
Gi Gi, Go Go, & Ga Ga!!
He screamed happily...

Aw man..the innocence of youth...hhaah
Damn cute...

==========
Heading Sentosa again with Dan, Kym, XL & Von..
Time for more frisbee..
Time for more nuahing..
Time for more bonding..
hhaa...

my 4 lovely gentlemen..

Was at Gramophone.

Asked for Il Divo's 3rd album and the girl looked at me like I was spouting rubbish.
Told me there's no 3rd album. They only have 2 albums and a Xmas CD.

Told her there was a 3rd album and it's called Siempre.

Insisted there wasn't.

Told her there really was!

Insisted there wasn't!

Ok, so I gave up.

TMD.
#^%^*&(^%

She doesn't know her stuff

$#&%^(*&$

The album was released in SG on 27th Nov!!!!!

=============
OMFG!!

They are really coming to SG...Hiakz!!!

18th Jan is D-Day!!
Gonna get either the $118 or $148 categories...

Wonder if I can psycho ahboy to go...hmm mm...
Prolly have to pay for his tix if so..hmm mm..

Anyway!! I'll get to see them!

Voddy...

I have succumbed to Voddy....

I have finally opened that bottle of vodka sitting in my cupboard...
And finished about a third of it liaozz...aw man.. haha..
Was feeling bored on Friday...bored, moody and more than a little listless...

Little Vodka was calling out to me from the cupboard....
Opened the door...and there she was..waving her hands at me...

For a year I managed to withstand her advances...but well...I finally gave in...
And well..had vodka cranberry for the rest of the night haha...
Couldn't find any soft drinks in my kitchen..so made do with cranberry juice...

=p
I miss having that little bit of alcohol in the system...Been quite awhile..
Hope this Friday's K-session will materialise...

*beep beep*

*beep beep* went my phone..at 630pm..

It was Lemon.
"Hey, Il Divo is gonna be on Channle 14 in a few minuites time."

Woohoo!!!!
Plonked myself in fron tof the TV and waited...And in a few minutes time..
There they were...looking glorius and suave on Larry King Live...
Throaty voices...engaging smiles..aw man...I was glued to the screen..

And then they performed...and I melted...yet again..haha...

Mentioned that they would be doing their Asian tour next year...
Hope they'll pop by SG...*crosses fingers*

Think I'll name my future son Sebastien...Maybe with Carlos as a middle name..
Hmm mm..Sebastien Carlos... hahaha....

Ok, I am officially infatuated..with 4 guys...
hiak hiak...

thoughts

Date: Sunday 26th November.
Time: :30pm
Location: Sitting in my room.
Weather: Dark cloudy skies.

I am thinking of:

1) A trip to either Bali or Hong Kong or Bangkok in Q1 next year...
Pity that a large part of Chatuchak was burnt down a few weeks ago. Wonder if things will be okay in 4-5 months time? HK..been 3 years since I was there..wanna go back for a 2nd visit..this time round with ahboy..
Bali..hmm mm..I wanna get a tan! and so many peeps have been saying what a nice place it is..

2) Cutting my hair next week. Maybe on Tuesday?
Getting long and bushy again..Rebond has worn out already...am having inner curls already, which adds to the bushy-ness...

3) Damn, I can't go for a run today..looks like it's gonna rain any moment now. Perhaps tomorrow night.

4) Sighzz. Xmas season again. On the one hand, it's my fav festivity of the year. On the other hand, there's the headache of giving gifts..wondering & thinking of what exactly to get for various people.

5) Feeling sleepy again. Shit, and I just got up at 11am!

6) I think chances are slim for the Premiere. Alternatives: Kallang? Bishan?? hmm mm..both areas don't seem very appealing to me..

7) I need to trim both sets of nails..too long for comfort..

8) Wondering when will my concentration be long enough to pursue an interest for a worthwhile period of time? Malay was half done. Just started on yoga & I suspect that will be forsaken after awhile. French is akan datang..and I hope I can follow-through with it.
Grrr...hate my hot-cold interests...

9) Kinda like the atmosphere in office now. Not so many people around. Quieter, less buzz...easier to do work. Though the irritability of work has not subsided. Haha...had a good session with the boss on Friday afternoon. Gave me a compliment. And somehow I felt like a little girl again...happy to receive a little compliment..eager to please...
Aw man.. haha...just a few days ago, I felt ready to strangle her..

10) Staccato shell at work again..disjointed thoughts...so many thoughts...all totally unrelated...
Think i will go watch some DVDs now..and then after that...go read through my diary for some of my past entries..

Hope

Every page will be flipped.
Every book will be read.
Every chorus will be hummed.
Every song will be sung.

Every stream will bubble.
Every river will flow.
Every sapling will grow.
Every tree will take root.

Of love, life, wishes.
Pain, anger, hurt, disappointment.
Laughter, happiness, peace, joy.

To live.
To learn.
To love.

Everytime I look At You - Il Divo

I used to think that I was strong
I realise no I was wrong
Cause everytime I see your face
My mind becomes an empty space
And with you lying next to me
Feels like I can hardly breathe

I close my eyes
The moment I surrender to you
Let love be blind
Innocent and tenderly true
So lead me through tonight
But please turn out the light
Cause I'm lost everytime I look at you

And in the morning when I look at you
Wake me gently so I'll know
That loving you was not a dream
And whisper softly what it means to be with me
Then every moment we're apart
Will be a lifetime in my heart

I close my eyes
The moment I surrender to you
Let love be blind
Innocent and tenderly true
So lead me through tonight
But please turn out the light
Cause I'm lost everytime I look at you

Kaozzz....

Stepped into office at 11am after the medical appointment.
Logged on, cleared some emails. Packed some collaterals for someone to collect.
And then voila. Boss sends an SMS at 1150pm.

"Michelle, we have a lunch appointment with Andrew at 1230pm."

Hello???? Now then you tell me.....abit late right???

Boss comes back at 12pm..discusses something with her. With regards to the lunch appointment. And then 1225...zoom we're off for the appointment.

Comes back at 150pm. Boss says:

"Oh yah, there's a LOVE meeting at 2pm"

What the???? Now then you tell me AGAIN???????!!!!!!!!!
I give her a look. *whiney voice* Do I really need to go?

"It will be good you to go lah..."

And so off I go again. Only when I arrived then I realised. This is not a meeting at all lor!!!! It's a mini training session!!!
The session was till 420pm. 2 torturous hours of sitting in a classroom setting..

After that, trudged my way back to my office.
Reached my desk and sat down for not more than 5 mins. Li Li comes over and says:

"Hey, you joining us right? Now got briefing."

Har??? There's a briefing, I'm supposed to be involved and I didn't even know?? I'm supposed to be involved and nobody informed me? What the hell???

And off I go again. Till 530pm I think. And that was the time when I finally had the time to sit down and warm my seat properly.
Spent the whole friggin day...in meetings, briefings & what not. All of which I was supposed to be involved in. But nobody informed me till the last minute.

Once or twice is okay lah. Not all the time mah....
What the....
*fumes*

Ok, nvm..looking forward to Thursday where there's a carpark beer date again.
A resurrection of a buried tradition.
Haha..not really a tradition too...more like a bonding session of sorts.

Thursday...yeah...put time put place liao. =)
Wonder who else is coming though...
Old members for sure. Me, kok & san. New members?
Hmm mm...

monday bluesss

Oh my..we received the notification form..
We in the list...for The Premier..

Though we're number 720. And there's only 616 units for sale.
There're taking in applications up to twice the number of units avilable..
Just cos of the possibility that there might be people of Q number 1 - 616...who might not want the flat afterall...

So well..we're number 720...we'll see how it goes...
4th Dec is the day we have to go for selection of unit..that is, provided there are still any units left...330pm
Else, back to square one..i.e. nothing...

===========
Haha..find it kinda funny..
Yong Siang is popping by the office tomorrow...

We're gonna have a wine-tasting session... =p
To select our company's year-end gift for our corporate clients...

Thanks to Guin, I now have the proper excuse to drink whilst at work...MUAHAHAHA....

===========
Appointment with JT today. Waited for 30 minutes..
Went into his office and I was out of it in 3 minutes flat.
And the verdict is...I'll next see him in a year's time..i.e. November 2007.

Him : How are you? How's things? All ok? All normal? Hair's all ok?
Me : Uh huh..all normal..yup, hair's all ok..growing out.
Him : Good! *beams at me*
Me : *continues* Cept for the occassional headaches..and there was once my head hurt the whole day from morn till the next morn.
Him : Hmm...*continues scribbling on his notepad* *raises his brows and gives a shrug*

Me : *Looks at him* I don't have to do a re-scan of my head? It's been a year
Him : Nah..no need. I scan, it only shows that yes, you've done an op before. That's it. It won't show anything else.
Me : Errr..ok.

Him : Ok, that's good, so all's fine. Occassional headaches are fine. Just as long as they are not recurring or daily. Ok, so I'll see you next year then. You take care.
Me : Oh ok...thanks.
Him : *sticks a note into my patient file* Bye! You take care!

I am S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-D

And I mean literally...
Went for 2 yoga sessions this week...One on Thurs night & one on Saturday afternoon...
Saturday's session was a killer...haha, was complaining that the poses/postures were inhuman poses.
But I have to admit, the instructor on Saturday was good..think I'll go on Saturdays from now on...skip the Thursday one..

Am aching all over now...especially my shoulders and upper back..aw man...

=========
French enrolment is starting soon..eagerly anticipating...
Come January..and I'll be a pseudo student.. haha..
Aiming for the once a week Saturday class...maybe from 2pm to 5pm..

Yoga will have to switch to a weekday then...or Sunday morning... hmm mm...

=========
It is always a bit sad..when someone takes credit for your work done...ain't it?
No matter how small the effort was..it still hurts when someone else takes the credit...right?
It still stings when you hear your boss commending someone else, for your idea..yeah?

Sighzz..such is life issit?...
Ain't no word as F-A-I-R....
Shit happens...

=========
I am abit freaked.
Had a headache the whole of last Saturday...and a throbbing headache the whole of last night too...concentrated in a spot just behind my right eye...and spreading out to my temple..
Am not sure if I was being paranoid or over-sensitive...but I thought my right temple was slightly swollen yesterday...

What's more it's the right side...
Everyday when I wash my face..I can feel the screw there...

Tomorrow morn's my appointment with JT..been half a year since I last saw him...
Have not gone through a re-scan for a year...wonder if I need to do any tomorrow..?
Just hope all is well...

bad week

Been a bad week, mostly in terms of work...

I need to learn to let go..yeah..or maybe take things with a lighter heart..
Been pissed nearly every day over the past work week..
Friday, was the culmination of the week..
Was supposed to be on half day and cos something cropped up, couldn't leave till 3-plus 4pm...

Fuming..fuming..

Ahboy is right...I should learn to take things easy..
Afterall, a job is just a job and only just a job...

Been a long time since the floodgates poured forth..
It just happened involuntarily on one of the weeknights..though for only a short time..
Still, I felt good after that...a perverse way of release I suppose...

To You, From Me

Will you be with me?
For every tomorrow that I have?

il divo - Isabel

an intro to those who do not know them..From left to right: 1. Urs Buhler from Sweden 2. Carlos Marin of Spanish ancestry but born & bred in Germany 3. French guy Sebastien Izambard 4. American David Miller....

il divo - Passerà

lovely lovely lovely..*swoon swoon swoon* if only one of them would sing to me..Urs Buhler, Carlos Marin, Sebastien Izambard & David Miller...when are you guys coming to SG???...

il divo

they're my heroes...gosh I love them..been listening to their Ancora album non-stop again..re-discovered it..after I got it about half a year back..nice album to listen to when doing work, when wanting to chill, when wanting to vent..aw man...when anything!! watching alot of their vids on youtube now..*swoon*

Buttons!!!!!!!

Woot!
Just had today's dose of the Pussycat Dolls prancing about in their Buttons MTV..Think I played it like 3-4 times.. haha

Am going to sleep a satisfied girl... =)

The song just gets to me man...

I am Beat with a cap b.
nitey nite....

"Loosen up my buttons...babe..."
"Say what you gonna do to me...uh huh..."

my sweetie..

Had dinner with ahboy just now..and funnily...when I laid my eyes on him & saw him walking towards me...I could actually feel the bad, unhappy, sad thoughts flow out of me...
It was like as if we were on one of our 1st few dates...
Just seeing him made me happy...sort of like a sadness buster..

Watching him walk towards me with that silly grin and casual yet confident lope..aw man..still melts my heart..
That "excited-girl-meeting-her-prince-charming" kind of feeling... haa..
Wanted to just hug him on the spot and not let go...

Maybe not the 1st in my thoughts when I wake..
But definitely one of my last few thoughts when I sneak into Z-land..

Ok, getting a lil' mush-mush here...
My happy nut..love my baby...
Think I can go on and on...

Gush gush gush...
Changes again..some slight changes to our daily routines to accomodate his work schedule...

when is friday coming???

I am beat.

The past few days has been somehow tiring. It's not like as if I worked my ass off or I played too hard or anything. I just feel beat.
My eyes are perpetually semi-closed..I speak with a listlessness and well, I think I even eat with less zest...

Bleah..

=========
Cherry aka Purpleskies aka Bolster Girl aka..........commented that I always write in short sentences.

Yes I do, don't I? Dunno leh, told her that I feel constipated...Verbally and mentally constipated...
Perhaps that's why my thoughts are always jarred and in a mish-mash condition...
In a disarray..kinda like a staccato..short bursts here and there...seemingly disjointed..but hey maybe after awhile, they seem coherent too!
And that extrapolates into how I write..I can't seem to write in long, never-ending sentences.. haha..

I find it easier to read & comprehend in shorter droves & paragraphs...
Work effect maybe...Am constantly trying to use the least amount of text to convey a message.

==========
I hate it when one goes to you and starts letting off steam..
And then when I comment on something...
The steam turns around and blasts me instead...
Think sometimes. I'll just keep my mouth shut. Sure beats being blasted when the person is red hot and angry and can't get much sense into their heads...

Some people just shoot it off and don't care about anything.
Some play their cool...and try to contain their anger abit..
Others...well...simply bo chup...

Wonder which combi I am?