Je pleur tout seul

Je pleur tout seul.
I cry alone.

Sitting here in the dark.
The only illumination being from the computer.
My only companion being the virtual world.

Simple miscommunication. I took a step back, I softened my tone. But do you have to continue??

Tears. Fine. Step all over me if it pleases you.

Tears. Fine. She is of a higher priority than me.
So whether she has a dinner companion or not ranks higher compared to whether I have one or not.
"Too bad. Find your own agenda." WTF??? Seriously, WTF??

I don't need this.

And now I will have swollen eyes tomorrow cos of you. Great. I am ending the last workday of the week with swollen eyes.

Glad I'm hitting the clubs tomorrow. At least things can be pushed aside for that few hours of fun & drinks.
Delusion? Oh well.

Full rants in the other blog. Sensitive.

foul foul mood...

I met so many unruly, inconsiderate, irritating people and got caught in as many such blood pressure increasing situations as well tonight. And all these happened within the 2 hours after I left from work.

Headed to M1 in bugis to get HTC for ahboy. Out of stock. WTF. I really don't have fate with such new phones. My U600 was out of stock the other time as well. Mood changed from here on...was already feeling abit sad & irritated too cos of a not so helpful customer service boy.

Squeezed into a fucking MRT which was really actually a sardine can masquerading as a form of public transport.

Got stepped on. Got molested. Got pushed and shoved. And got elbowed in the face by a fucking Japanese tourist who would be better off being in the zoo. Bugger was talking to his female companion and hanging onto two support rings. He was swinging to & fro, irritating the hell out of me cos I was just behind him. Mis-cued. Right hand slipped from the rings. Right elbow went kaboom into my face. Said a single word of sorry and turned back to his conversation.
That wasn't just a little elbow..it was a big fat fucking piece of meat that slammed right into my face lor....what the fish?????? Aren't Japs one of the most polite people in this world?

Reached Tamp, got off and walked to the bus interchange. Thought I could go home soon and not get into any more infuriating situations. Next thing I knew. A kid spilled his Coke near me.
My left shin kena. Suay to the max I thought to myself.

Ok fine, nvm. Walk on baby walk on. There's still beautiful things in this world.
Got up on my bus. I was hanging onto dear life...from a support ring. (familiar? at least I was swinging from it.) Bus uncle slowed down suddenly. I, who was standing, was trying my best to balance. And I thought I did an okay job. The auntie who was SITTING down in front of me, lost her balance. Needless to say. Her foot stomped on my already sore foot. And she only looked at me but didn't say sorry.

Got home, cooked my own dinner. Sat in front of the PC and TMD. Simply can't believe it.
I actually forgot my log-in ID for Blogger. Had to key it in several times before I got the correct one. And I've been using Blogger for like 2 years already??? The irritation is clouding my mind.

I think I have sinned too much over the past few days or week and so God decided to wreak a little wrath on me. I've bitched too much. I've slacked too much. I've eaten too much. I've snacked too much. I've been lazy. I've been busted up. I've been too gossipy.

And I've unknowingly embroiled myself into a few tangles, one of which is Daniel's.

I need to go into hibernation again. Too much things happening in too short a time period.

Let the social life take a slide for a few weeks.

Foul Foul Mood.

minor rattles before i hit the sack

ah ok....

the verdict is out...

I wun be getting a new phone but will be inheriting a 2nd hand one....from who else but ahboy...his nokia E65...

And the prince in turn..will be getting a HTC...looks damn sleek...thought reviews not quite good...nvm..buy first then see how.. ahhaha

Settling it tomorrow...

=========
the bed beckons

=========
rendezvous avec xiao bai est confirme...
appointment with xiao bai is confirmed.

woots!! been 2.5 months since she left lhub...

=========
the bed beckons

=========
abit stressed...D&D...hopefully it pans out well...
supposed to write an internal proposal for the Thursday management meeting
kaozzz....this afternoon then tell me...

tomorrow will be my fee-lee-feh-leh...write nonsense day...

=========
the bed beckons

=========
Dunno why I get especially tongue-tied when I speak to ang-mohs..
A potential vendor called me up from Hong Kong yesterday morning. Was speaking okay but When the conversation dragged on...I couldn't respond anymore...just clammed up...
Couldn't even respond properly to his jokes....

me = hopeless

je n'aime pas...I don't like...

I hate...

• Smelling like the food you've just eaten for lunch
• Dumbass people who block your way out of the train
• People who blast their MP3s but use low grade earphones so that the poor soul next to them gets blasted too
• The way I slouch like a sloth
• The way your boss interrupts you when you speak but talks about irrelevant things instead
• Pimples
• The way you get jolted out of your sleep in the mornings thinking it's time to get up but it's actually only 4am
• Being critised for not exercising
• Wearing pants and it's raining and your pants gets all wet and sloshy
• The feeling you get when you realise someone has betrayed your trust
• Having a headache coupled with dry eyes
• How some kids can wail their lungs out but their parents just let them be
• The raw taste of dao gey in your mouth when the bak chor mee auntie doesn't scald it long enough
• The way I get tongue-tied when talking to some people and just end up smiling stupidly
• The way your fringe falls into your eyes when you're eating food
• Crocs (as in the shoes, not the animal)
• Durian
• Being undressed, getting ready to shower and then you realise damn! You're out of shampoo!
• How no taxis appear when you really need one and how they all seem to be around when you really don't need one
• blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
• blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
• blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
• blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Signing off,

Complain Queen

vammy...

Xiao Bai!!

You are more lor soh than me when blogging lor ahhaa..

Of cos..dinner with you anytime..

Arrange on MSN tmr??

Place you choose...since you treating me...but must have air-con & in a shoppping mall and no foodcourts or hawker centres...hiakzzz ;p

p/s: gossip time...hahaa..

je suis très decu, triste et un peu en colère

Je suis très decu, triste et un peu en colère.
I am very disappointed, sad & a little angry.

Ok, maybe angry is a very strong word to use. Cos I am in no position to say who's right or who's wrong. I am not the party involved. But I have to say. In a way..I am close to both parties.
We were ex-colleagues. We used to go cheonging together or popped by for a bout of karaoke after work.

Disappointment
A few months ago, actually about a year ago, I was shaking my head in disappopintment at one of them. And now...I can't believe it but I am shaking my head at both.
At how things turned out as such. How could it have happened? Why did it happen?

Sadness
I feel sad. For the innocent parties who got implicated. For the innocent parties involved. For the innocent people who got hurt. For those who got hurt but don't know the reason why. For those who got lied to.
And I feel very sad for those who are supposed to feel sad, hurt and angry...but who aren't old enough to even know what's going on.

Anger
I've said that I have no right to judge who is right and who is wrong..But still, one should have her..opps...did I mention her? One should have his/her own limits. There's still such words called "morals" & "conscience" in existence right? hmm mm....
It's not the first time. It's the XXXth time. Does it feel nice to break other people's heart? Does it feel nice to 'seduce' & succeed? And hmm mm...is KL such a nice place to go to? haha...


Like how Purpleskies puts it. I don't know what to see of them now. I don't think I can look them in the eye and laugh and joke as before.
Damn it. I could have been there on Friday night. Guess it would have felt wonderful barfing into their faces.

Mais je devine, c'est la vie.
But I guess, that's life.


Purple, you see the pun in the last French sentence? That wasn't done on purpose. hahaa..

Glenny, let's meet up soon..we have ALOT to catch up on...purple has been in the loop so far...I've been writing in riddles about this situation for a few weeks...it's time to loop you in for the full story...a year on and we will still be bitching our heads off in Hanabi again.

But till then, purple & I will not say too much...it's too long a story to tell over MSN or what...you know some of it already...we will regale you with all we know when we meet...needless to say..this time round..I will do most of the reel-spinning...purple will add in spices if I have missed out on anything...Remind us to start right from the beginning..

You're smart..you should know who I'm referring to.
Let's go for a long dinner...lunch is waaayyyy toooo shooorrrttt for this story-telling session.
I am very open next week. Put time put place and let's bitch...

To the rest, my sincerest apologies...I am unable to divulge too much about this situation...Kinda sensitive...

man this is fun...haha..boliao

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you! Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives. Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours. No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

My Love Style!

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion! And chances are, you're currently in love. You have a strong physical response to love... And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What's Your Love Style?

errrr...ok sounds suggestive.. haha...
I have a strong physical response to love?? hahaa..;p

Me!

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Oh wow...I am moral!! hahhaa..

just did a personality test and the verdict is...

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

but then..I think I am more of this:

Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

The Maid

Got some scary news yesterday.
Apparently on Friday afternoon, one of my distant relative's maid went abit cuckoo...Fillipino.

Let me intro the characters first:
1. Old man in wheelchair in living room. ALONE. Watching TV & rubbing some Chinese TCM ointment onto his legs cos he was aching.
2. Old lady bathing in the kitchen bathroom.
3. Eldest son aged about 50+ taking a nap in one of the bedrooms.

All is well when suddenly:
There is a SCREAM, a SHOUT and the sound CRASH of glass hitting the floor.
This is follwed by more SCREAMS and SHOUTS.

Simultaneously:
Son comes out of bedroom groggily. Steps right onto glass shards and there's a strong smell of TCM ointment in the room.
Old lady hurriedly dries herself and gets dressed and then rushes out into the living room.

Both are thinking:
Oh no!! He (the old man) has fallen off his wheelchair!!

But instead both see:
Blood on the floor, the maid standing behind the old man with a chopper in her hand...just standing there looking dazed and blur...
Maid took a few steps back, seemingly at a loss of what to do. She sat down on the nearet sofa.
Old man had an 8cm long gash on his back. Near his right shoulder. Still bleeding...

In the meantime:
Son & old lady in a slight state of shock. Didn't know what to do. Called the sister who was staying in the next block.
She called another sis who called an ambulance & the police. (Which makes me wonder why can't the 1st sis call 995 & 999???)
And the maid was still sitting there, with the chopper in her hands.
Son & old lady tried to stop bleeding while waiting for ambulance to come. Kept a wary eye on the maid in case she went berserk again.

Then:
Ambulance came. Police came also & cuffed the maid away.

Now:
Yet to get the latest update. Heard the old man's getting discharged today. So I think the wound shouldn't be that bad. I don't know if it's a deep slash or a more superficial wound. Hope it's the latter.
Wonder what's gonna happen to the maid? She's still in the lock-up at the moment...


Scary...my parents told me this story on saturday morning in the hush hush confines of my room.
With the door CLOSED. Didn't want to let my own maid or my granny know what's going on.

*shudders*

the gathering

Gathering went relatively well last night. Total turnout of about 17 pax.
That's one of the best turnouts we've ever had. haha...Almost full force. Even Sky & Marilyn managed to come.

Daniel & Yanling
Rohlin & Yong Soon
Ah Seng & Yvonne
Ah Ger & Jareth
Kym & XL
Mao Mao & HB
Chiewsze
Evonne
Sky
Marilyn
Myself

Food was terrible though..couldn't be bothered to spend the time & effort to do steamboat and/or BBQ again..so we all unanimously agreed to just order pizza & KFC...haha..

And of cos, with a leading air stewardess around (who else but Chiewz) who can get cheap drinks from overseas...we had a taste of various liquor... ahha...
Absolut Black was declared a lethal one with 50% alcohol.
There was another weird one called Grey Goose from Italy. Sweet Vodka...interesting...
Some beer called 1664 from dunno where oso...blah blah...

Majority left..I stayed on till 2am....dunno why also..was just stoning on the couch while some others were playing MJ.

Dan is leaving end next week...Wondering if I should try to squeeze in a dinner orkopi with him before he leaves...

=========
French is getting difficult..coupled with a teacher who is half hearted about teaching..
Aw man.. haha..
New semester starting next week. We're hoping for a change in teacher. Will only know next week when we turn up for class.

=========
Mum ..bad mood today.
Snapped at me in the kitchen. I retorted..and the rest is history...

From 1 grouchy womann in the house..now there's 2 women.

i.c.b

ICB last night with the usual suspects again...Kym & XL..

You see ah...it's so unhealthy...

Malt & sugar & carbo
+
Oily, crispy chic wings
+
Pizza
+
Hotdogs
+
Potato Chips
=
lethal combination

Caught a cab home together with Kel..since he was around the area...
First time I've seen him in bright blue.. haha...Looks good!

=========
I don't know why but I always get up with a headache & an aching body on Saturdays...
And then I have to pop Panadal before heading for French.

Mum yelling for lunch liao...it's noon time...

J'ai prendre mon dejeuner maintenant!!

Pleurer = to cry

Kind of tough sometimes.

Weird hours. Committments on weekends for you & me.
1 hour dinners on weekdays. 10mins of verbal exchanges at night sometimes.

From 5 to 4 to 3 to 2 and now sometimes to 1.

Evasive. Elusive. Again.

Pour quoi tu est comme ca? Je ne comprend pas.
Triste. Je suis un peu triste...J'envie de pleurant.
Mais alors, j'ai être fort.

grannny gran gran

Oh yah...Granny updates...

She's doing good...no more weird stories for the past 2 days at least...

Good good...keep it this way...

i am hungry but i am not supposed to eat anymore!!

Sucker for romance I am
Silly envious smiles I had
When wedding photos my eyes saw
Of two lovely people Kok Meng & Shujun

My two juniors in hostel..Just saw their wedding photos posted on Shujun's friendster account.
Awww.....
So sweet!! She was so pretty...
For those who have my Friendster..She's Junaries in my list of friends...
(I can hear kaypoh people clicking in to see liao hahaa....;p)

Have not kept in touch with them...But am still happy for them...
For one, that they found each other...And two, that they lasted since school days.. haha...

==========
Kaiping called me up last night...
And asked if I could help out with his wedding reception next Sunday.. haha

Me & XL will be there...

==========
From being an Aunt Agony...I have just taken on another role...
That of a mediator..a middleman...a peacemaker..

Picture this.
Put 2 close friends...and a date together...
Throw a big dash of "fly aeroplane" and lots of "pissed off"
Put in a little "sorries" and "whatevers" and "I don't wanna talk to you"
Stir-fry the whole mixture...

Then add me to the picture...I'm the goon trying to pick through the mixture to get all the condiments of "pissed off" & "I don't wanna talk to you" out...

Being the sausage in between the two big & loud buns is a tough job...

Especially tough when you're trying to work & mediate at the same time..That was in the afternoon
Equally tough when it's after work already and you're shopping and 1 of the buns calls you up to rant....
Lagi tough when 1 of your hands is holding the phone and the other is holding onto your bf...

*rolls eyes*
Tomorrow better not have any more such things...Kinda tiring...

==========
Had a nice lunch today...Lots of laughter..some nonsense gossip...
But nice lunch with 3 male colleagues.. haha...all the girls disappeared today...

==========
Beetle Bug at Bugis is gone!!!
Ahboy & I wanted to go buy his shoes just now...and the shop's gone!!! They barricaded that area with those umm...construction wooden boards...hmm mm...

Went to M1 too. Saw the HTC pda phone...
It's not on display but when you request, they will show it to you.. I think HTC is a Taiwan brand or dunno what...
But it looks cool!!!
Macham a black version of an ipod.. ahha...a slilghtly bigger more rubbery feel than ipod though...
Alot of the functions are touch screen, much like how you control an ipod by moving your finger around...though there's still a stylus...

$598 for 2 yr plan. Hmm mm....heart itchy now...hmm mm...;p
gian gian gian....

==========
Dinner with Tien Phey yesteday was um..not too bad...(the food was quite good)
Treated him to an early birthday dinner...

Well.....Cept for the fact that he was 80% stoned...and....

30% of the time he was SMS-ing
30% of the time he was eating
25% of the time his mind was floating elsewhere
15% of the time his mind was on me....

Of the 15% of the time he was aware of my presence...

50% was spent bemoaning his lack of a gf...or his troubles in the obscure world of BGR
40% was spent harping on work challenges
5% was spent on general issues like "the restaurant's decor is nice" or "that girl's pretty"
3% was spent reminiscing about old times
2% was spent on me

Bleah!

==========
Boss called me from Hong Konb 3 times this morning...within a span of 45 minutes...
It's sort of confirmed that I will be doing marketing for teh Hong Kong office as well..

But erm...shit...I have like O experience doing regional marketing..
Nil, kosong, zilch, ling...zero
Ack!!

==========
Nerd of a shell
Shell of a nerd

I think I have an obvious streak of nerdism in me.
Is there even such a word? *scratch head*...oh well...doesn't matter...as long as my point gets across..

It's not like there's a neon sign saying "NERD ALERT" hanging on me...
But well...if you dig what I am saying..
This shell is harbouring a squiggly nerd inside...

==========
Was reading my first few posts.. in this blog...July 2005.
2 years ago...wah...so long already??

Dang... I don't write poems anymore...hmm mm...

simple tidings to while the time away...

Waiting for ahboy to finish work at 11pm...it has become almost a weekday routine to wait up for him..
Then he would call..we would chat for awhile...before hanging up.
He would head on home and well I would head on to my travels in slumberland...=))

Wanted to go get a new phone last Friday. But Samsung U600 was out of stock.
Bopian..no other nicer phones to get liao...cept maybe E65...Gave my number to M1, they'll buzz me when the new stocks come in.

Ahboy & I are going shopping on Wednesday!

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Meeting up with TP tomorrow night. He'd better not irritate me with his pessimism.
Can't say for sure what'll I'll do if he does though. Hmm mm...Scowl at him?

==========
Was watching the school superstar contest just now..some kids are really good...
The guys Javin & Fukang wow-ed me with their maturity, confidence & voices...
In terms of looks, Keely from the girls' side impressed me alot....

==========
Vanity vs practicality

Sighzz...It's either I don't know hwo to buy shoes...or my feet are just made to wear slippers.
Whatever shoes I wear..just seems to aggravate my feet...be it my toes, or my heels...or my ankles...or my bunions....

But but but...no choice leh..they look nice and I can't be wearing slippers to work right?

(bimbo moments again...)

==========
Was eating at Tanjong Pagar Market today...It's been ages since I've eaten there....2 years maybe? Though I'm in Tanjong Pagar like almost everyday...

And perhaps to celebrate my return to the place..God placed Wang Lu Jiang & Jeff Wang there.. ahhaa...Think they were doing another food show of some sort...
Huang Biren was there as well...with Kelvin Soo.

Professionals in shirt & tie were gawking openly...office ladies in tight skirts, high heels & tight shirts lost their normally cool composure and were giggling and pointing amonhgst themselves...
Oh well...little bits of excite,ent in this boring Sillypore of ours.

Which brings to mind...2 weeks ago I saw Edmund Chen in the same area. Then today...4 local celebrities...though not all big time ones.. haha...Tanjong Pagar has become a magnet for our local stars?

Special entry dedication to Xiao Bai...

SP aka Xiao Bai aka Vammy

Orh lalala lalala....sayang lah....!!!
Aiyoh...

Hmmmm..you missed out on one entry..Think I wrote something about you after our session that night.. haha...See I write about you leh!!!!!

What abt me me me?

haha..

Made this a super big text so you can SEE!

here pussy pussy...

Buttons - Pussy Cat Dolls

Will end this with a song that gets me grooving...
There was a period of time when I would obsess about having a great bod like one of those girls on the MTV channel..
Think I was in my secondary school or JC days...
Got over it...as most tennage girls do...

And then the Pussy Cat Dolls had to come out and FLAUNT! argh...
hahahhaa...I feel inadequate...

More than Words

More Than Words - Extreme

And here's a song which to date...still gets a fair bit of exposure on the airwaves...
Classic fav for people who play the guitar...Heard the chords are difficult to master?
Adrian tried to learn but I think he gave up...haha..

I still don't uderstand the concept of long hair on guys...

All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hand
And touch me
Hold me close
Don't ever let me go
More than words
Is all I ever
Needed you to show