C-O-U-N-T-D-O-W-N

And the countdown begins.

6 more months. :)

Time Zips By

Time seems to zoom past real quickly this year.
Seems like just yesterday when I was enjoying bakkwa during CNY.
It's already April!

What have I done so far?

Feels like I did alot and yet nothing all at the same time haha.

News These Days

It is somewhat depressing reading the news each day. If it's not some murder or theft or assault, it'll be some bombing or abuse or accident.

Maybe I should switch to reading trashy gossip magazines lol. Or maybe I should just watch "Keeping up with the Kardashians" or "Chicagolicious" or "Enews" all day long.

Ok, or maybe I should find myself another hobby.
I've fallen a little out of love with gardening and building terrariums though, ever since I shifted house.

Hmmm....What can I do....???

Happy Birthday to My Special K!

Bonne anniversaire mon bebe...Tu as deja 32 ans! Comme moi!
Enfin, nous sommes du même âge hehehe. :)

J'espère que tu reste heureux, en bonne santé et bénis toujours. J'espère aussi que tu peut réaliser tous tes rêves et espoirs.

Nous allons marcher ensemble toujours!
Je'taime tellement. Muacks!

Morphosis

The last 2.5 weeks have not been entirely good for me.

Nausea, giddiness and sometimes breathlessness has crept into my life. I walk at a granny's speed to minimise any of these from happening or from worsening. I have been auntified and have resorted to carrying a pack of preserved plums in my bag to chew on if I feel the nausea welling up.

I am particularly susceptible to noise, constant chatter and crowded places.

I can't sit hunched over for longer than 5 to 10 minutes otherwise the nausea and discomfort starts up. I try to sit ramrod straight and then I get shoulderaches or neckaches, especially on the bus.

I am emo as well though it comes and goes. Am trying very hard to keep a balanced state of mind.

I find myself becoming a bit of an anti-social person. I don't really go out. I go to office and then back home again. When I'm at home, I spend most of my time in bed, either watching TV or napping.

I pack my lunch and eat at my work desk everyday to avoid the crowd and stuffiness at the foodcourt. I've pulled out of a social dinner as well because I felt really unwell at the last moment. That made me feel bad.

I don't sleep well at night and I wake an average of 2 to 3 times per night. As a result, I am a zombie at work.

I hope this phase passes over soon......real soon.

Advice

Noticed that as people get older, they tend to dish out more advice, whether it was asked for or not.

I don’t know if I’m doing it as well, I hope not.

“You should…do this and that…”
“It’s better to….do this and that…”

It all stems out of goodwill and a genuine desire to help. Although I have to say it could come across as being bossy, instructive or nosey at times.

Perhaps a nicer way to provide advice to others would be something like....

“Have you tried….this other method?...”
“Maybe this other way could do the trick…”

Reminder to self….

Heart check-up

Cleared my annual heart check-up today. ECG results were normal. :)

The doc didn't comment on the blood test I did 2 weeks ago. And I forgot to ask as well. So I took the results home and compared it with the result ranges given by my health screening company last time. Everything's good. My good cholesterol HDL is in the highest range and the bad cholesterol LDL is in the lowest range. Glucose and creatinine is normal. Good!

I was nervous about the blood test results initially. I'm relieved now. :)

Ok, one more check-up next week for my brain. Been 4 years since I had a check-up for that.

Relationships

It is during those quiet times alone that thoughts float in. These few days I keep thinking about some of the relationships in my life which have been estranged, whether knowingly, unknowingly or because of misunderstandings.

Some of these people were a part of my life for a good few years. But I guess each of us have gone our separate ways for so long now it is odd and awkward picking things up again.

People come, people go. Not everyone is meant to stay. Maybe it is suffice just to see their updates, if any, on Facebook.

I should treasure those who are by my side and those who have been there for me all these while.

Sunny Days

The sun has been at its mightiest over the last 2 weeks. 9 to 12 years ago, if it were this sunny on a Sat morning , I'd rejoice for it meant a great day at Siloso beach in Sentosa. My friends and I would frolick in the sun, eat and sleep under its strong rays.

My mum always said then that we were mad. "Kids crazy enough to bake in the sun for so many hours"

I think the present day me would agree with her too. Lol.

Cheesy afternoon

We spent our afternoon today attempting to make cheese. Both attempts failed. :(

When googling for possible reasons for our failed attempts, we discovered that store bought milk is likely to be highly pasteurized at high temperatures, which affects the curdling of the milk into cheese.

We only managed to get small drifty bits of curd like in the pictures and not big smooth pieces. Bleah.

I hope

A close long-time friend of mine shared with me a few months back that he was considering getting a divorce. While he somewhat believes in the sanctity of marriage and the vows taken under oath to care for each other for a lifetime, he felt that cultural differences and the fact that they were living in different countries for most of the time had put a toll on their lives and he couldn't see how their future together looked like anymore.

I met up with him again last week and he was still mulling things over. He had just come back from his wife's home country alone after a tiff. Things didn't seem to be going well even though he tried spending a few months there with her and her family. I could feel though that he seemed more determined to get a divorce. We were just saying that it might have been a good thing that no children were in the picture otherwise things would have been more complicated.

I just received a text from him. His wife just told him that she's expecting.

Sigh.
I hope things eventually pan out well for the both of them.

Granny

It was a situation which sprung on us suddenly in the middle of January this year. She was still ok and responding to us when we brought her out during Christmas in December 2012. But in mid-Jan, Granny suddenly stopped talking. And then by early February, it seemed that she was not registering anything we said. She’d look at us, sometimes quizzically, sometimes blankly, sometimes grumpily, but all the while not talking. It seems as though she does not recognise us as well. Not me, not my Dad, not my Aunt, not my brother.

She can still feed herself though it gets as messy as a two-year-old feeding himself. Whatever it is, I am still taking this as a good sign. At least her motor skills are still there.

It has been 2 months since she’s stopped talking. Maybe I should be accepting this fact by now but I am finding it extremely hard to. Each week when I visit her, I still try to talk to her. My Dad still shows her photos and pictures of my family members on his phone. We talk to her, help to feed her and try to incite a response from her. To no avail so far.

I don’t know if it is a conscious effort on her part to refuse to speak or a part of her brain has just stopped functioning the way it’s supposed to. I miss her talking, even if it is about nonsense stuff or about things and deceased people from decades ago. At least I know she is thinking and processing some things in her mind. Right now, all we get are blank stares. We don’t even get any grunts, groans or sounds coming from her.

It is upsetting. It is always upsetting to see her deteriorating. And tears always flow when I think of her and how she used to be.

The windows to my soul

Had my eye check-up done yesterday.

While it was uncomfortable having had my pupils dilated, it was good to hear from the doc that the situation is stable. My retinas, though thin and scarred in certain aeas due to the high power in both my eyes, are still dong alright. The big piece of floater in my right eye is still there though and it won't go away.

One thing I learned, when your pupils are dilated, much more light enters your eyes. When you're in an environment with artificial lightining, you eyes still feel ok. But the moment you step into natural daylight and when the sun is shining brightly, you can't open your eyes at all. It's almost like blinding light. You start tearing too. Even squinting and opening your eyes just slightly feels highly uncomfortable.

Something I don't look forward to each year

Every year at a certain period of time, I'll get somewhat bogged down by the number of medical appointments and follow-ups and check-ups that I have. That time of the year is coming soon over the next few weeks. I have 4 appointments over the next week alone.

I forsee alot of waiting in the hospitals and clinics. Sigh.

Life moves ahead all the time

And so as I slowly close off one small sub-chapter in my life (APRICOT 2013), I am slowly opening another chapter as well.

Period of change. Adventurous times ahead!

Onward we go and onward I charge!

clothes

Desperate times calls for desparate measures? Lol...Ok I am exaggerating.
BUT, I think I really need to go shopping on Sunday!

Hmm

Someone said 12 years ago that with the type of character I have (soft, hates conflict, not much opinion, easygoing), I'd likely not survive in the corporate world.

Come to think of it, maybe that theory holds true. I've been in govt-linked or govt agencies for the last 9 years.

So much leave!!

My boss very generously gave those involved 7 days off in lieu for the event we did.
I have 21 days of annual leave. I brought over 16 days from last year.

I did not use up any leave this year yet.

Which means I have 9 months left to clear 37 days of leave and 7 days of off in lieu. 44 days in total. 

I forsee difficulty in clearing the days lol....

Afternoon Amusement

My mum can be quite cute at times.

She is at NTUC at the moment and just called me to ask "What is the difference between mint and peppermint ah? Which one should I buy to cook Assam Laksa with?? This is so confusing!!"

It's like trying to explain to someone what is the difference between banana and pisang raja or what is the difference between beef and fillet mignon....:D

APRICOT 2013

And so the event has concluded successfully. This must have been one of the toughest projects I've handled. I can't say I'm very proud of it because I think I coud have done better on several accounts. But still, I give myself a pat on the back for having survived the 3-year preparation for it lol. :)

There are still many post-event loose ends to tie up and settle. But at least I need not rush to get it done. :) Woot!