Love

You were once a wee fragile tot.

Now you're running around and commanding me to do things. How time flies. Mama loves you. A lot a lot a lot. 

Listening vs Dispensing Advice

Do you offer advice the moment someone talks to you about something? 

Do you stop to think and try to ascertain if the person is just trying to find a listening ear or is the person really trying to seek help and guidance? 

Do you impose your thoughts and ideals on that person before the person even has the chance to ask "what do you think?" 

I have said this before and I probably sound like a broken record now. But I guess this is something I feel strongly about. 

Don't assume that when someone talks to you about something, that he or she is seeking advice. He or she could probably just be seeking a listening ear and only wanting get things off their chest. Maybe the last thing they want is another person telling him or her what to do or how to do it or how to handle things. 

So listen first, stay neutral and don't be too quick to dispense advice, well intentioned or not. 

Reminder to myself too...

The 38 Lady

I was forced into a "small talk" conversation a few days ago at work. It quickly morphed into a chat session I wanted out of. 

The other party was a lady from another division on the same floor as I was. I usually kept my distance and only said hi and bye to her or at the most "the weather's hot these days". While I knew she had a penchant for gossip and constantly had her radar up for more news and rumors, I didn't know that she also had a manipulative and slightly malicious streak in her. 

At least not till that day when she "cornered" me into the conversation. She must have been desperate to find someone to listen to her. Either that or she was eager to share with the world her findings on a pair of colleagues from the same floor as us who were supposedly having an affair. Both are married. 

I have been pretty "anti-social" in recent years. I keep in my corner in the office and don't engage in deeper conversations with others. Unless I manage to find someone I am really comfortable with and whom I trust. This has turned out to be only about 3-4 people out of 100-odd folks on my floor. 

I digressed. So anyway, Because I stay in my own corner of the office, I had not even heard about the supposed affair till she mentioned it to me. 

She was speaking in a pretty self-righteous manner and maintained her position that those two colleagues were immoral and bad and yada yada...she must have expected me to concur with her. She looked at me expectantly through her babbling monologue. I refused to be goaded into any sort of position or comment which took sides and chose to remain neutral. 

She tried to bait me into taking a stand and offered more details like how she stalked the couple together with a few other colleagues from her division. Inwardly, I rolled my eyes at this. Like wtf? If they want to be in an affair, it's their business. Nothing gives you the right to do such sleuthing!

I was exasperated at this point and felt like giving her a slap. It's one thing that you are excitedly and passionately spreading news about this couple, it's another thing altogether to poke your nose into their privacy. Whether they are right or wrong it's not up to us to judge. You don't know the full background to the whole situation as well so don't go standing on high moral ground and preaching about morality when you have been doing not-so-right things too. 

Of course, I didn't voice out the above thoughts to her. 多一事不如少一事. I just maintained my neutral position and did not proffer much else. I guess that's the best way to deal with gossipmongers. 

She eventually ended the conversation. She must have been disappointed that she did not get much concurrence or reaction from me. 

I just hope that I don't bump into her anytime soon again. A wide berth I will give her. 

Proud Mama

Little Baby is progressing well. She can fill in some words (or should I say letters) to the alphabet song now. She caught K & I by surprise last night when I tested the song on her...

Me: a b c d e f g......
N: *starts swaying to the tune"
Me: h i j k l m n o......*pause*
Nadya: pee......
Me: q r s t u....*pause*
N: vee.....
Me: w x y and.....*pause*
N: zee.......
Me: Now you know your ABCs, next time won't you sing with......*pause*
N: mee........

And she hits the right notes too...
Wondering if I can get the chance to take a video of her doing this...:)

She's proving to be quite strong in rhythm and music....and she likes dance as well...
She likes to colour with crayons too...although it is just messy scribbles and squiggly lines now...

This little one's going the artistic route I think...

Might be a good idea to start looking at music and movement enrichment classes for her for when she reaches 2 or 3 years of age....and see if she's interested in taking it further next time....

Conversations with a 17.5 month-old

This happened during one of the brief interludes between 2 cranky episodes.

Nadya: Pain pain.
Me: Pain pain? Where? Show mama.
N: *points to mouth*
Me: Nana's teeth pain pain is it?
N: Uhh. (yes)
Me: Nana's teeth pain pain is it? Yes or no?
N: Yes.

Her fever was no more by the time Saturday and Sunday came. We checked her palms and soles of her feet regularly and there were no red spots, rashes or anything.

We could only conclude that she is teething and the pain of her ivories cutting through her gums is causing her much discomfort and pain.


p/s: Nana is our pet name for her and she calls herself this too.

Jiayou

Kinda tired. Because of various things...

1. The state of my body constitution now and the physical changes it is going through.

2. I've teared up and cried umpteen times over this last week while reading through articles on LKY and watching videos related to him.

3. Little Baby was sick on Friday. She recovered quickly but was extremely cranky on Saturday and Sunday. She woke several times each night as well, an average of 4 times each night. During her cranky episodes (which was pretty often over the last 2 days) she would cry and scream at her top of her lungs and she only wanted Mama to carry or hold her. My back and arms ached badly at times and when I passed her to K so I could catch my breath and get some respite, she'd only scream louder and try to reach out for me while screaming "Mama! Mama! Mama!". And so after a minute of this, back to my arms she would go....

4. The thought (and action of) going back to work on Monday morning....is enough to make me feel tired haha.

Mid-day Wishes.........

I draft emails for my boss when it pertains to a certain scope of work.
Draft them directly for him in such a way that I am speaking/writing in his voice. Send them to him. He makes perhaps 10-15% worth of amendments and then sends them out. Sometimes he doesn't even amend them and replies others with my drafted reply.

I think through the policy positions and responses in order to draft these responses. Sometimes he does not even know certain consequences of different approaches till I highlight the nuances to him and explain to him why I drafted some emails in a certain way.

I sometimes do feel like I am doing this piece of his job for him.

Hmm.....can I request that he share part of his salary and recognition with me?
Well, at least the portion pertaining to this particular area of work. Afterall, he gets the glory but I am the workhorse behind him.

The LKY Procession

I think no one was really working much this morning in my office. I thought it was amusing. 

My floor usually bustles with activity. You can hear discussions going on, tele-conversations going on, people typing furiously at the laptops, people going in and out of meeting rooms, etc.

This morning, it was a hush as most folks were glued to the TV screen, our 2 biggest bosses included. (p/s: They are the 3rd and 4th biggest bosses in the entire agency by the way haha).
Most of us were gathered at the pantry area where the common TV was playing out the live scene of LKY's casket being transported from the Sri Temasek house at the Istana over to the Parliament House for the public to pay their respects. Some others couldn't squeeze in to get a good view and chose to watch the live stream over the Internet instead.

Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Lee Kuan Yew's passing has had a strangely deep impact on me.
I found myself tearing up many a time yesterday, on the day of his passing, while reading through many articles on him and tributes to him.

I can't say I personally witnessed how he transformed Singapore from a fledgling 3rd world country to a world-class one, because when I was born, the country was already doing relatively well. But I have seen how my parents and especially my grandmother revered and respected him. They were the ones who have seen first-hand how the country was transformed and built up almost from scratch by Mr Lee and his comrades. 

Perhaps that is how I developed a deep respect for the man as well, through their reverence of him. And why I feel sad at his passing. Perhaps I am currently more emotional than usual as well. Perhaps his passing comes too close to the first anniversary of my granny's own passing. Perhaps I am just caught up in the media flurry.

But anyway, thank you Mr Lee, for without the tenacity, foresight and spirit of you and your peers all those decades ago, we would not have the Singapore we have today. We would not have the clean and safe streets, the greenery and parks, the solid education system and first-world healthcare.

Rest in peace.
I hope you are reunited with Mrs Lee and the two of you are strolling hand-in-hand again, amongst the cempaka trees in heaven.

Time, Family, Work

It is necessary though for most families in Singapore these days to be dual-income with both parents working and K and I are no different.

But I do not want to become only a weekend parent. At least I hope I won't morph into one.

So I  try to make it a point to go home on time every working day (sometimes to the extent of shutting down my laptop even while my boss is talking to me, just so he gets the point) so that I can get to spend that hour or two with Little Baby in the evening before she goes to bed.

And even then I feel like as if we are not spending enough time with her. And not showing her enough of this world. Hmm...how ah?

The idea of a part-time work arrangement is still very much at the back of my mind. Maybe not in the next 1-2 years but perhaps sometime after that? When the kids are older and moving into primary school.

I don't know. So many expenses to take care of and the home to continue paying for.

Nadya

The little girl can be quite entertaining these days, what with her antics, cheeky smile and baby babbles. Her enthusiastic responses when we ask her if she wants cheese, her dance routines whenever she hears music, her wide-legged toddles and her goofiness never fail to make us smile or laugh.

And of course, it takes great effort (well, at least for me) to keep a straight face if I am in the midst of disciplining her and then she flashes me a goofy cheeky smile or does something silly action.

Grow up well Little Baby.
Dada and Mama love you lots!

Canto

I had it in my mind to learn and pick up Cantonese eons ago.
And I have not managed to do it yet. :(

Listening to a classic Cantonese song from Hacken Lee  - 月半小夜曲

But I have only been able to hum along or voice out one or two words here and there. :(

Sek Teng Xiu Xiu, Mm Sek Gong.
(Can understand a little, don't know how to speak)

Mint? Not Mint?

My new colleague is an avid gardener and knows his stuff. He can rattle off plant names, plant species and sometimes the scientific family name of the plant type a particular plant comes from.

So when my mint plant started overgrowing its pot, I naturally offered him a cutting of it.

Gave it to him this morning.....and then chey!!!!

He told me that my plant was not a mint plant at all. It was a herb called Indian Borage.

And all these years I thought I was growing mint....-_-''

Bah.

And then I also discovered that there's actually a variegated version of the Indian Borage.
It looks absolutely gorgeous and I hope I can get my hands on it....But I have not seen it in the flower shops I go to....hmm...

Granny

Granny has been popping up in my mind quite a fair bit lately.

Sometimes it is because I stumbled across a lovely old photo of her.
Sometimes it is because I miss some of her cooking.
Sometimes it is because I see a small snippet about Peranakan culture in the news or on social media.
Sometimes it is because I pass by her nursing home.
And sometimes it is because her 1st year death anniversary is coming up in exactly a months' time.

I miss you Granny.
I miss your yellow rice and your potato chips.
I miss how you used to sing nursery rhymes to me when I was 4 years old and we were cuddling on the sofa.
I miss visiting you at the nursing home.
And I miss feeding you your mushy blended food when you could no longer chew.

They say time heals.
I don't think it ever heals. I think it just dulls more as we learn to live with it.

Thank you

Feeling a little queasy. I asked for a seat on the bus and managed to find one. It was the last available seat. 

Thank you God. 

爱心早餐

Egg and cheese sandwich made by K this morning for my breakfast. I usually prepare something to bring to work. He made me my fav sandwich. :)

The pic doesn't do it (and him) justice though haha. 

Oh well.

That awkward period has come early this time.
When people speak with you and their eyes start darting somewhere else.

Oh well.

I shall elaborate later.

ninja? not....

All parents find that at some point in time, they have actually morphed into pseudo ninjas.

• After the baby sleeps, you tiptoe past the cot and make a dash out of the baby's room.
• After the baby shifts its attention away from you for that split second, you grab your drink and gulp it all down to quench your parched throat and then put down the cup out of reach of the baby. Yes, within that few seconds. 
• After the baby gets distracted and you quickly keep its pacifier.
• When the baby is about to trip over something and you zip in front of it to clear the offending obstructing article from the ground.

I put Little Baby to bed each night. It used to be a more elaborate ritual where she would bounce all round in the cot before finally agreeing to lay her head down on her pillow or hug her bolsters.
These days, it is just several minutes of me either humming a particular lullaby or patting her back or stroking her hair or just being there in the room with her. Sometimes if I stop prematurely and think she's fallen asleep already, she would then remind me that she still wants me there. How? By turning around to face me with her eyes wide open haha.

Once she's fallen asleep, I'd then do an about turn and tiptoe out the room.

Just that.....

I don't make a very good ninja.

I have creaky knees.

And ankles.

And feet.

And I have no idea why.

So I end up taking a step and then pausing. Taking a second step and then pausing. Taking a third step *CREAK* and then pausing with bated breath to see if she stirred.

So instead of spending 4 seconds tiptoeing out the room, I'd end up spending much longer.

Ninja? Not really....*fail* haha...

precious moments

I had a medical check-up at SGH yesterday afternoon and it so happened that my Dad had his eye check-up as well. My mum was with him too and so we all met up for some tea before going home.

It’s times like these I treasure. Carefree and intimate moments with my dear and loved ones. Fully immersed in the moment and fully committed to the presence of the each other’s company. Much talk, much laughter. Some nagging (which is expected when you’re dealing with aging parents haha).

They were so sweet and sent me home by cab after that.

I love my laobeh and laobu. :)

prep talk

More adventurous and challenging times ahead. :)

Getting more emo the last few days and trying valiantly to keep a more balanced state of mind.

(Can't believe I bawled so much while watching a 10-minute SEA games infomercial on Fandi Ahmad's life story yesterday evening. -_-'')

So anyway, here's to keeping our heads up!
Onward we go and onward we charge!

Ganbatte!