- Helper prepared lunch
- Boss allowed me to work from home 4 days out of 5 this week because I'm participating remotely in a meeting taking place in Japan....
- My new phone should be coming soon?
- While I may be lacking in various areas, the girls, especially Nadya, see me as a superwoman...
- I have a roof over my head and aircon to beat Singapore's unbelievable humidity....
Tuesday, March 12, 2019
Things I am thankful for today
Sunday, March 10, 2019
Weight
Laoniang....is weighing in at 47.7kg liao.
Newest low.
Even I am starting to notice that my cheekbones and jawline are becoming more prominent.
That's 4kg off the 51.5kg that I was at a couple of months back...
I tried on my wedding ring this afternoon and found that I could wear it...though it still felt tight...
I've not been able to put it on for the longest time...I could if I wanted to but then it'd probably take a few hours to yank it out.....
This afternoon, I didn't have to yank it out...
Newest low.
Even I am starting to notice that my cheekbones and jawline are becoming more prominent.
That's 4kg off the 51.5kg that I was at a couple of months back...
I tried on my wedding ring this afternoon and found that I could wear it...though it still felt tight...
I've not been able to put it on for the longest time...I could if I wanted to but then it'd probably take a few hours to yank it out.....
This afternoon, I didn't have to yank it out...
Left Baby Toe
Nagging soreness/pain in my left baby toe.
Suddenly this discomfort appeared this afternoon during or just after lunch.
I didn't fall down or anything. BUt I think I got up from the floor a couple of times...
Somehow after lunch, I noticed I'd felt some pain in that toe...
I couldn't walk properly too. Couldn't rest my weight fully on that foot.
The baby toe seems very slightly swollen...
I hope it's just a small sprain or something...
Suddenly this discomfort appeared this afternoon during or just after lunch.
I didn't fall down or anything. BUt I think I got up from the floor a couple of times...
Somehow after lunch, I noticed I'd felt some pain in that toe...
I couldn't walk properly too. Couldn't rest my weight fully on that foot.
The baby toe seems very slightly swollen...
I hope it's just a small sprain or something...
But...
I love my kids.
I appreciate the chats we have before they drift off to lala land...that's when they sometimes tell me about their day and what they did in school or what their favourite friends did and so on...
But sometimes.
I can't help but think..
That the 1.5 to 2 hours I spend each night trying to get them to sleep.....including all the effort spent nagging and sometimes threatening them....
Could be better spent checking off the stuff on my to-do list.
I appreciate the chats we have before they drift off to lala land...that's when they sometimes tell me about their day and what they did in school or what their favourite friends did and so on...
But sometimes.
I can't help but think..
That the 1.5 to 2 hours I spend each night trying to get them to sleep.....including all the effort spent nagging and sometimes threatening them....
Could be better spent checking off the stuff on my to-do list.
Friday, March 08, 2019
Weight
On 14 Feb, I was 48.8kg.
Went down to 47.8kg 2 days ago on 6 Mar.
Now I'm back to 48.1kg.
Slightly yo yo weight but with a downward trend.....Hope it stays stable now at 48kg....
Went down to 47.8kg 2 days ago on 6 Mar.
Now I'm back to 48.1kg.
Slightly yo yo weight but with a downward trend.....Hope it stays stable now at 48kg....
Girls.....
Nadya's current pet phrases when she knows she's wrong and at the losing end of an argument with me.
"Then I will roll my eyes at you!" OR
"I don't care what you do or say!"
And Alyssa being Alyssa, would just copy what Nadya does.
*facepalm*
"Then I will roll my eyes at you!" OR
"I don't care what you do or say!"
And Alyssa being Alyssa, would just copy what Nadya does.
*facepalm*
Animal Planet
Tim flies. And so, it's been what...5 or 6 weeks since I started showing animal photos every night to the girls before they sleep.
Some other notable animals that I've shown to them...:
Some other notable animals that I've shown to them...:
- marmosets
- narwhals
- the world's smallest frog
- beluga whales
- pangolins
- armadillos
- anteaters
- different types of snakes
- American bald eagle
- vultures
- great danes (the biggest dog)
- chihuahua (the smallest dog)
- lynxes (Alyssa seemed to like lynxes alot)
- sphynxes (the were intrigued by this hairless cat)
- mandarin ducks
Kind of running out of ideas of what animals to show them each night already haha....
This shall pass
It's a journey.
Times of ups and downs.
Times of more downs than ups right now.
But I believe that given more time, time itself will bring more ups back.
And I also think that given more time and effort and support, I myself will search for, find and bring back more ups too.
The floodgates open more easily these days.
Hair falls more easily too.
All I can say to myself is jiayou..ganbatte...你可以的!
This shall pass...
Times of ups and downs.
Times of more downs than ups right now.
But I believe that given more time, time itself will bring more ups back.
And I also think that given more time and effort and support, I myself will search for, find and bring back more ups too.
The floodgates open more easily these days.
Hair falls more easily too.
All I can say to myself is jiayou..ganbatte...你可以的!
This shall pass...
Monday, March 04, 2019
Conversations with a 5yr 5mth old
Nadya was talking to K the other day....
N: Dada, do you have air in your tummy?
K: Yeah, not feeling too good.
N: Mama has air in her tummy too.
K: Ok
N: You know, like this you won't need to carry a drum to a party. Just need to pat your tummy.
K: Trying to be smart is it?
N: No, Mama is smarter.
Haha thank you Nadya, for putting Mama on a pedestal...
Mama will strive to be someone you can look up to always...
N: Dada, do you have air in your tummy?
K: Yeah, not feeling too good.
N: Mama has air in her tummy too.
K: Ok
N: You know, like this you won't need to carry a drum to a party. Just need to pat your tummy.
K: Trying to be smart is it?
N: No, Mama is smarter.
Haha thank you Nadya, for putting Mama on a pedestal...
Mama will strive to be someone you can look up to always...
Endoscopy + Tummy Issues.....
The endoscopy last Thursday went well. It might be a minor thing to some people but to me, it wasn't that minor...
Most people in Singapore undergo sedation to do the scope. I went without it because the doctor was afraid sedation might affect my existing heart condition, however mild that condition might be.
There was an LA given to numb the throat and oesophagus and that was it. The tube that they stuck down my throat was as thick as my thumb. I remember my gag reflex went into action the moment it felt the tube going down the throat....I gagged and retched...and gagged and retched somemore...The nurse covered my eyes and ears with a towel. Coupled with the tube stuck in my throat, it felt a little claustrophobic.
They pumped air into my stomach to distend it so they could see better. It was uncomfortable. Not painful but very uncomfortable. My stomach muscles contracted reflexively several times as well. I retched and the air came out involuntarily several times in big belches. It was pretty embarrassing. I sounded like a hog.
I was glad it was over in 5-7 minutes. It felt more like twice the time taken though.
There was nothing found. Which is good. All results came out normal from the scope. No lesions, no H. Pylori bacteria, no ulcer, no breaks in the food pipe.
I don't feel very happy though. Because while there are no major issues, the diagnosis of whatever I'm having is still a very abstract thing to grasp, and to manage, and to treat.
The diagnosis is still that I'm having "functional dyspepsia". A presence of symptoms affecting the upper gastrointestinal system. Symptoms include nausea, vomitting, early satiety, bloatedness, smaller appetite, reflux, etc.
No medication to cure. Just lifestyle changes to manage it. Medications can only help manage the symptoms abit. And the doc didn't put me on any...getting me to try adjusting lifetsyle first....only seeing him in 3 months' time. Good luck to me in the meantime.......
Feeling nausea, bloating and lack of energy (breathless) everyday. It's like I'm having morning sickness, just that there's no baby. Gets worse when I'm in office as I can't lie down to rest or anything...and the aircon and bright ceiling lights don't help much too. Taking each day as it comes.
Fighting.....
Most people in Singapore undergo sedation to do the scope. I went without it because the doctor was afraid sedation might affect my existing heart condition, however mild that condition might be.
There was an LA given to numb the throat and oesophagus and that was it. The tube that they stuck down my throat was as thick as my thumb. I remember my gag reflex went into action the moment it felt the tube going down the throat....I gagged and retched...and gagged and retched somemore...The nurse covered my eyes and ears with a towel. Coupled with the tube stuck in my throat, it felt a little claustrophobic.
They pumped air into my stomach to distend it so they could see better. It was uncomfortable. Not painful but very uncomfortable. My stomach muscles contracted reflexively several times as well. I retched and the air came out involuntarily several times in big belches. It was pretty embarrassing. I sounded like a hog.
I was glad it was over in 5-7 minutes. It felt more like twice the time taken though.
There was nothing found. Which is good. All results came out normal from the scope. No lesions, no H. Pylori bacteria, no ulcer, no breaks in the food pipe.
I don't feel very happy though. Because while there are no major issues, the diagnosis of whatever I'm having is still a very abstract thing to grasp, and to manage, and to treat.
The diagnosis is still that I'm having "functional dyspepsia". A presence of symptoms affecting the upper gastrointestinal system. Symptoms include nausea, vomitting, early satiety, bloatedness, smaller appetite, reflux, etc.
No medication to cure. Just lifestyle changes to manage it. Medications can only help manage the symptoms abit. And the doc didn't put me on any...getting me to try adjusting lifetsyle first....only seeing him in 3 months' time. Good luck to me in the meantime.......
Feeling nausea, bloating and lack of energy (breathless) everyday. It's like I'm having morning sickness, just that there's no baby. Gets worse when I'm in office as I can't lie down to rest or anything...and the aircon and bright ceiling lights don't help much too. Taking each day as it comes.
Fighting.....
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
The Fried Phone
Remember the fried phone?
That big data recovery company couldn't do anything about it. They couldn't run a current through the motherboard as well and it is a big and sad SAYONARA to all my photos and videos.
I've come to terms with it. Somewhat.
I was pretty upset last Friday when the news came in.
But oh well...moving on.....
And I guess...the dinosaur me....should start learning how to use icloud, google photos, dropbox??
Sigh.......
That big data recovery company couldn't do anything about it. They couldn't run a current through the motherboard as well and it is a big and sad SAYONARA to all my photos and videos.
I've come to terms with it. Somewhat.
I was pretty upset last Friday when the news came in.
But oh well...moving on.....
And I guess...the dinosaur me....should start learning how to use icloud, google photos, dropbox??
Sigh.......
Things that I'm thankful for today
- Lovely, helpful colleagues who have become close friends and confidantes.
- Understanding, flexible and open-minded boss.
- K
- The girls
- Close friends
- That I can still eat some food and that I don't actually throw up
- Having a helper who can help prepare my "tingkat" meals and get the chores done
Weight
Weighed in at 48.1kg this morning.
Stomach acted up yesterday and I couldn't take in much. Just one day of eating less and I lost 700-800 grams i.e. almost a kg?
Hope I can eat better today...
Stomach acted up yesterday and I couldn't take in much. Just one day of eating less and I lost 700-800 grams i.e. almost a kg?
Hope I can eat better today...
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
The Girls
The girls get on my nerves sometimes. They test my patience and limits sometimes.
I nag and nag. I lose my patience and shout at them sometimes.
I feel tired most of the time.
But when I see their smiles. When I see their faces when they're sleeping.
When I get hugs and kisses from them. When they tell me "Mama I love you!"
When they draw or make things for me.......
I feel happy and blessed and I think it's all worth it.
I nag and nag. I lose my patience and shout at them sometimes.
I feel tired most of the time.
But when I see their smiles. When I see their faces when they're sleeping.
When I get hugs and kisses from them. When they tell me "Mama I love you!"
When they draw or make things for me.......
I feel happy and blessed and I think it's all worth it.
Monday, February 25, 2019
Weight
Weight seems to have stabilised a little. It's been at 48.8 or 49kg for the past week...which is good. The sudden drop the other time kinda scared me somewhat.
And so....
It's really happening.
K has submitted the withdrawal notice to the current childcare centre and paid the deposit for the new place.
We're pulling Nadya out as her class only has 3 people left including her. All her best girl buddies are going or already gone. One of the other 2 boys is also considering leaving so...eventually in the next few weeks maybe there'll only be one last boy left...
I'm sentimental. I really wanted Nadya to finish her pre-primary journey at this centre...afterall, she's been there since she was 4.5months old....from infant care till now in K2. She's the kid who has been there the longest. I'm kinda sad that we couldn't let her complete her K2 studies there...
*sniff*
That said, Alyssa still remains at the current centre...I hope she won't get too upset that Jiejie will no longer be at the same school...but she needs to get used to it anyway, especially when Nadya goes into P1 next year.
Fingers crossed that Nadya will adapt well to the new place...and that she will learn newer stuff while there. I hope she doesn't protest too much when we tell her about the change...
K has submitted the withdrawal notice to the current childcare centre and paid the deposit for the new place.
We're pulling Nadya out as her class only has 3 people left including her. All her best girl buddies are going or already gone. One of the other 2 boys is also considering leaving so...eventually in the next few weeks maybe there'll only be one last boy left...
I'm sentimental. I really wanted Nadya to finish her pre-primary journey at this centre...afterall, she's been there since she was 4.5months old....from infant care till now in K2. She's the kid who has been there the longest. I'm kinda sad that we couldn't let her complete her K2 studies there...
*sniff*
That said, Alyssa still remains at the current centre...I hope she won't get too upset that Jiejie will no longer be at the same school...but she needs to get used to it anyway, especially when Nadya goes into P1 next year.
Fingers crossed that Nadya will adapt well to the new place...and that she will learn newer stuff while there. I hope she doesn't protest too much when we tell her about the change...
Quotes
“So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow”
"Little by little, day by day, what is mean for you WILL find its way”
“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging your back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming”
“A great attitude becomes a great today which becomes a great week which becomes a great month which becomes a great year which becomes a great life”
“The sun is a daily reminder that we too can rise again from the darkness, that we too can shine our own light” - S. Anja
"Little by little, day by day, what is mean for you WILL find its way”
“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging your back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming”
“A great attitude becomes a great today which becomes a great week which becomes a great month which becomes a great year which becomes a great life”
“The sun is a daily reminder that we too can rise again from the darkness, that we too can shine our own light” - S. Anja
Parenting
As a parent, sometimes I find myself second-guessing our decisions for the kids.
Are we doing this right? Isn't there a better way? Do we need to do this? Should we do this?
I guess we all want the best for our kids. And sometimes it may slip our minds that kids are more adaptable and resilient than they seem.
And ultimately, we also just have to trust that things will work out, whatever decision(s) we take. If it doesn't work out as beautifully as expected, then we need to tweak our approach again. Bopian.
Reminder to self: Have faith. Have trust in the girls too.
Are we doing this right? Isn't there a better way? Do we need to do this? Should we do this?
I guess we all want the best for our kids. And sometimes it may slip our minds that kids are more adaptable and resilient than they seem.
And ultimately, we also just have to trust that things will work out, whatever decision(s) we take. If it doesn't work out as beautifully as expected, then we need to tweak our approach again. Bopian.
Reminder to self: Have faith. Have trust in the girls too.
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