It is the nation's birthday.
It is also Mei's birthday. I've been wishing her for 17 years and this year, out of habit I texted her to wish her happy birthday as well. After sending it out though, I wondered if I was doing the right thing.
Adrian was in Melbourne. In less than 10minutes, I got a text from him saying "I got a text from Marc. Please do not send Mei greetings anymore."
I felt hurt and disappointed. For some reason, I also cried. It was an immediate raw reaction.
I guess, I was hurt because all the things she'd said previously seemed to be just lip service.
"Keep in touch. Take care."
"I'll have a small housewarming and invite you when the house is ready."
Nada. Zilch. Zero. Nothing.
Just lip service.
Maybe she did mean part of it when she said those words last year but grew cold feet as time went by.
Anyway, she wants to cut off all communications. Ok fine. I respect that choice.
I'll tell myself and remind myself that. No point in trying to keep something when it isn't working or when the other party does not want to.
Just need to tell myself to move on.
Thursday, August 15, 2019
Yet
Rivulets
Yet, dry
Crowded
Yet, alone
Happy
Yet, sad
Forwards
Yet, backwards
Growing
Yet, stagnant
Staccato
Yet, monotonous
Moving
Yet, still
Yet
==========
Drafted
On a day, at a time
When I was feeling down, tired, sad, alone, a little frustrated and out
Just a small being in this big universe
But who knows for sure
The best is YET to be
God has his plans for us
Probably written out
I wonder if they are in drafts or finalised versions
I wonder if he will rub off some text and re-write our future stories
As the scenes unfold slowly
Yet, dry
Crowded
Yet, alone
Happy
Yet, sad
Forwards
Yet, backwards
Growing
Yet, stagnant
Staccato
Yet, monotonous
Moving
Yet, still
Yet
==========
Drafted
On a day, at a time
When I was feeling down, tired, sad, alone, a little frustrated and out
Just a small being in this big universe
But who knows for sure
The best is YET to be
God has his plans for us
Probably written out
I wonder if they are in drafts or finalised versions
I wonder if he will rub off some text and re-write our future stories
As the scenes unfold slowly
Still popping up
Still happening after so many months...the number 44 keeps popping up. I take less note of it now though...used to it already perhaps....
- When I tap my phone to check the time, more than half the time, it'll be the hour and 44 minutes. e.g. 2:44pm, 5:44pm....
- Took a walk with K yesterday and when I glanced at the lamp-post next to him, it was numbered 44....
- The other day again when I checked the microwave to see whether my food was going to be done soon...the timer showed that 44 seconds was remaining..
Goosebumps lol!
Tuesday, August 13, 2019
Sunflowers!
The sunflower seedlings are doing good so far....one of them is getting quite tall...almost 20cm already.
Germinated them from seeds so I'm proud of them! Transplanted them from the starter kit pot to an actual pot a few weeks ago and I hope they survive long enough to mature into adult plants....:)
I forgot to label the exact date of when I planted the seeds....so I forgot how "old" these seedlings are already. But I know that I planted the seeds in early July...So they should be around 1.5mths old now?
==========
Got myself some other flower seeds over the weekend....of plants called Rose Fairy and Celosia (Fairy Fountain). Those Horti brand seeds that you can get off the shelf in Giant.
Will sow the seeds one of these days with the girls...They take at least 10-14 days to germinate though...I hope the girls are patient enough to wait lol....
And I should remember to label these pots with the dates of when the seeds were sown....
Germinated them from seeds so I'm proud of them! Transplanted them from the starter kit pot to an actual pot a few weeks ago and I hope they survive long enough to mature into adult plants....:)
I forgot to label the exact date of when I planted the seeds....so I forgot how "old" these seedlings are already. But I know that I planted the seeds in early July...So they should be around 1.5mths old now?
==========
Got myself some other flower seeds over the weekend....of plants called Rose Fairy and Celosia (Fairy Fountain). Those Horti brand seeds that you can get off the shelf in Giant.
Will sow the seeds one of these days with the girls...They take at least 10-14 days to germinate though...I hope the girls are patient enough to wait lol....
And I should remember to label these pots with the dates of when the seeds were sown....
Succulents
Succulents are supposed to be very easy to care for.
I've never had much luck with them though. I somehow kill them quite easily.
Not sure why too....overwatering?
I just bought 2 tiny pots over the weekend and transplanted them into a bigger pot.
Hope they survive and thrive...
I've never had much luck with them though. I somehow kill them quite easily.
Not sure why too....overwatering?
I just bought 2 tiny pots over the weekend and transplanted them into a bigger pot.
Hope they survive and thrive...
Conversations with an almost 4yr-old
On Saturday afternoon, while in the car waiting for K to pick Nadya up from Berries....
Alyssa: Mama, what is tree plus house?
Me: Treehouse?
A: Ya correct! What is water plus melon?
Me: Watermelon.
A: Ya correct! Very good!
Me: Ok, my turn. What is ice plus cream?
A: Banana cheese!
Me: ???!!!
She might be eloquent sometimes....but the logic....erm.... lol...
Either that or she purposely wanted to snook me and play punk with me haha....
Alyssa: Mama, what is tree plus house?
Me: Treehouse?
A: Ya correct! What is water plus melon?
Me: Watermelon.
A: Ya correct! Very good!
Me: Ok, my turn. What is ice plus cream?
A: Banana cheese!
Me: ???!!!
She might be eloquent sometimes....but the logic....erm.... lol...
Either that or she purposely wanted to snook me and play punk with me haha....
Please...get better soon...
It's become sort of a family tradition to eat pizza or order food in on National Day each year and watch the parade on telly.
The rest of the family had pizza from Domino's and I had the leftover rice and dishes from lunch instead. I took 2 or 3 garlic breadsticks though. I was full...and might have overeaten a little...oh well...in the spirit of the day and our nation's birthday...
And then the next day....stomach spoil. In fact, the next few days...:( Couldn't eat much, was constantly bloated and I even had cramps in the upper abdominal area. When Nadya patted my tummy, she said I had air in there...even she now knows how to tell if there's air in the tummy or not. She said I sounded hollow like a drum.
After just a few days of eating light, eating less and having stomach issues...my weight went down by almost one kg to 45.7kg this morning. I've never been below 46kg since more than 10 years ago. zzz...
My dear tummy...please get better ok...
You've been giving me issues for 8-9 months already...I've cut out so many types of food, including my favourite spicy food and my favourite HL milk, just to appease you....
Please cooperate okie?
The rest of the family had pizza from Domino's and I had the leftover rice and dishes from lunch instead. I took 2 or 3 garlic breadsticks though. I was full...and might have overeaten a little...oh well...in the spirit of the day and our nation's birthday...
And then the next day....stomach spoil. In fact, the next few days...:( Couldn't eat much, was constantly bloated and I even had cramps in the upper abdominal area. When Nadya patted my tummy, she said I had air in there...even she now knows how to tell if there's air in the tummy or not. She said I sounded hollow like a drum.
After just a few days of eating light, eating less and having stomach issues...my weight went down by almost one kg to 45.7kg this morning. I've never been below 46kg since more than 10 years ago. zzz...
My dear tummy...please get better ok...
You've been giving me issues for 8-9 months already...I've cut out so many types of food, including my favourite spicy food and my favourite HL milk, just to appease you....
Please cooperate okie?
Wednesday, August 07, 2019
Rice!! My rice!!
Our helper went back to visit her family for a week. She left on 29 July and only came back on 6 Aug. It would have been 2 days earlier if not for the airline cancelling her 4 Aug flight due to low air pressure in the Davao skies.
During the period she was away, I realised I didn't eat much rice, save for the dinners at my inlaw's place. And even then K and I skipped dinner on 2 days to have our own dinner date....and there was another night when they cooked porridge instead.
On the weekend, we ate out for all meals and we mostly ate noodles and MacDonald's.
From 2 Aug Friday till 5 Aug Monday lunch, I didn't have any rice for my meals at all. It was all either bread, toast, noodles, or pasta. Easy stuff that I could prepare at home, or dabao from the stores below my office block.
Today, I finally had rice for lunch. Helper started cooking my lunch again for me to bring to office. :)
I didn't realise I missed rice soooo much!
True Asian heart. Lol....we need our rice!!
During the period she was away, I realised I didn't eat much rice, save for the dinners at my inlaw's place. And even then K and I skipped dinner on 2 days to have our own dinner date....and there was another night when they cooked porridge instead.
On the weekend, we ate out for all meals and we mostly ate noodles and MacDonald's.
From 2 Aug Friday till 5 Aug Monday lunch, I didn't have any rice for my meals at all. It was all either bread, toast, noodles, or pasta. Easy stuff that I could prepare at home, or dabao from the stores below my office block.
Today, I finally had rice for lunch. Helper started cooking my lunch again for me to bring to office. :)
I didn't realise I missed rice soooo much!
True Asian heart. Lol....we need our rice!!
Conversations between a 4yr-old and a 6yr-old
On Saturday morning 3 Aug. The girls had a squabble.
A: Jiejie your poo is so smelly!
N: No! You are smellier!
N: No! You are smellier!
A: I will flush you down the toilet!!
N: But I can’t even fit in so how can you flush me down? That doesn’t make sense!
N: But I can’t even fit in so how can you flush me down? That doesn’t make sense!
A: *screams in frustration*
N: *smug face*
N: *smug face*
Wonder how their squabbles will evolve next time. Lol...
Right now, Alyssa's at the losing end because her eloquency and thought processes are not on par with Nadya's yet. :) We will see how as time goes by.
Laoniang needs some love
Laoniang kena poked once on 23 Jul for a CT scan. This is a 5-yearly scan and the SGH staff nurse who inserted the plug for me did a good job so I am thankful.
Laoning kena poked twice on 30 Jul at CGH for another medical test. One for a plug and another time to draw blood for testing. The staff nurse...couldn't save my vein to insert a plug in after drawing blood for testing. I had to poked elsewhere for the plug to be inserted. I don't know what she did but....she caused me a big bruise at the initial site. She told me it'll be gone in a week.
Nabeh. One week liao. Bruise still there. One big orh-cheh and blood beneath the skin. Sometimes still sore to the touch. Laoniang not happy. I asked a doctor (whose field is totally unrelated to the blood test) how long the bruise would take to go away....he said 2-3 weeks at least.
Laoniang needs some tender loving care....the girls have been giving me kisses to the bruise area each day...
Laoning kena poked twice on 30 Jul at CGH for another medical test. One for a plug and another time to draw blood for testing. The staff nurse...couldn't save my vein to insert a plug in after drawing blood for testing. I had to poked elsewhere for the plug to be inserted. I don't know what she did but....she caused me a big bruise at the initial site. She told me it'll be gone in a week.
Nabeh. One week liao. Bruise still there. One big orh-cheh and blood beneath the skin. Sometimes still sore to the touch. Laoniang not happy. I asked a doctor (whose field is totally unrelated to the blood test) how long the bruise would take to go away....he said 2-3 weeks at least.
Laoniang needs some tender loving care....the girls have been giving me kisses to the bruise area each day...
Of conversations
Out of work, I don't like discussing with people on how certain systems and processes should be like this or like that. Or how things should be done in a certain way instead of this way. Or how some of the nation's policies should be like this or like that.
I dislike the back and forth and the constant spewing of opinions. And the laments and complaints. Like that talk so easy, then everybody go become policy-maker lah. Maybe I'm a Libran and I can see from both points of view. Both from the policy-makers' perspective and the man on the street. Maybe it is because I am a public servant and I understand it is impossible to please everyone all the time. Maybe my mind is just not so equipped to have strong views of my own as well.
I step away. I steer the conversation away. Or if it's a virtual conversation. I just don't reply to any such discussion.
I just want to have simple and sometimes mindless conversations about the person himself/herself, and the things they are going through and of life in general. Simple slices and nuggets of information here and there. That is palatable to me. I like light soups. Not heavy cream, stomach-churning, acid-inducing stuff.
Don't get me into discourses on policies (and politics) and how the gahmen should be doing this or that. It tires me and I switch off almost immediately. It also stresses me out.
I just ghosted a good friend on Whatsapp. Because of this. He sent me several texts on what and how the government should do to improve the process of whatever he is dealing with right now. That is not an answer to a question I asked him. Oh well....sigh. Let me see how it goes.
I dislike the back and forth and the constant spewing of opinions. And the laments and complaints. Like that talk so easy, then everybody go become policy-maker lah. Maybe I'm a Libran and I can see from both points of view. Both from the policy-makers' perspective and the man on the street. Maybe it is because I am a public servant and I understand it is impossible to please everyone all the time. Maybe my mind is just not so equipped to have strong views of my own as well.
I step away. I steer the conversation away. Or if it's a virtual conversation. I just don't reply to any such discussion.
I just want to have simple and sometimes mindless conversations about the person himself/herself, and the things they are going through and of life in general. Simple slices and nuggets of information here and there. That is palatable to me. I like light soups. Not heavy cream, stomach-churning, acid-inducing stuff.
Don't get me into discourses on policies (and politics) and how the gahmen should be doing this or that. It tires me and I switch off almost immediately. It also stresses me out.
I just ghosted a good friend on Whatsapp. Because of this. He sent me several texts on what and how the government should do to improve the process of whatever he is dealing with right now. That is not an answer to a question I asked him. Oh well....sigh. Let me see how it goes.
Tuesday, August 06, 2019
Reminder to Self
- 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, is still a step forward.
- It is a choice. You have a choice.
- You can do this! I can do this! We can do this!
Friday, July 26, 2019
Preparations in time to come...
And the preparations will begin soon...
- Logistics of sending to and from school, etc
- After-school care
- Meals in school
- Need to ensure she can count her $$$ lol
- Uniforms
- School books
- Stationery
- School socks!
- School shoes!
- School bag!
- New water bottle?
- New watch?
That Little Baby....
Little Baby...is no longer that little....and no longer a baby...
Though I still call her "baby girl" sometimes...She would respond to me still but sometimes, she'd roll her eyes instead and say "I am not a baby...ugghhh!" Haha.
And so...this little baby...has now secured a spot in a primary school for next year when she starts Primary 1. How time flies.
I think she will look really cute in the school uniform...the light blue pinafore. :)
I remember last year she told me she wanted to be in a school that had pinafore for the girls haha...so it's a wish come true for her.
Never thought we'd reach this stage so soon....
As some say, the days and nights are long but the months and years are short.
Though I still call her "baby girl" sometimes...She would respond to me still but sometimes, she'd roll her eyes instead and say "I am not a baby...ugghhh!" Haha.
And so...this little baby...has now secured a spot in a primary school for next year when she starts Primary 1. How time flies.
I think she will look really cute in the school uniform...the light blue pinafore. :)
I remember last year she told me she wanted to be in a school that had pinafore for the girls haha...so it's a wish come true for her.
Never thought we'd reach this stage so soon....
As some say, the days and nights are long but the months and years are short.
Thursday, July 25, 2019
Jiayou
A long time back, I used to call myself Aunt Agony...various people would share their concerns and worries with me...strangely enough more guys than ladies spoke to me...
And then as we all grew older and got busier, lesser people came to me...
Recently though...more are starting to share their concerns with me again...wonder why...
I'm not in a good state to listen to them to be honest...but I try. What are friends for?
Jiayou to them...and jiayou to me too....
And then as we all grew older and got busier, lesser people came to me...
Recently though...more are starting to share their concerns with me again...wonder why...
I'm not in a good state to listen to them to be honest...but I try. What are friends for?
Jiayou to them...and jiayou to me too....
Uncle's Philosophy
I met a cab uncle the other day.
When we passed by a plot of land in front along Pasir Panjang Road, he told me it belonged to Singapore Power and that they were going to redevelop the area to something else. He proudly shared that his son was one of the engineers who helped draw up the area map for the redevelopment.
And then he shared his work philosophy with me...told me he worked for 35 years at a company (but didn't tell me his role there)...and that he had a strategy to survive that 35 years in that company. His strategy was......
做少一点，少做就少错
说你不会做，那别人就会去做
笑一笑就过， 这样才不会shiong
He said he shared this philosophy with his son but his son didn't agree with it lol...
I don't really agree 100% with it too...but sometimes, it is a good "strategy"...
Afterall, I've seen cases where "taiji masters" survive long and can even get promoted...
When we passed by a plot of land in front along Pasir Panjang Road, he told me it belonged to Singapore Power and that they were going to redevelop the area to something else. He proudly shared that his son was one of the engineers who helped draw up the area map for the redevelopment.
And then he shared his work philosophy with me...told me he worked for 35 years at a company (but didn't tell me his role there)...and that he had a strategy to survive that 35 years in that company. His strategy was......
做少一点，少做就少错
说你不会做，那别人就会去做
笑一笑就过， 这样才不会shiong
He said he shared this philosophy with his son but his son didn't agree with it lol...
I don't really agree 100% with it too...but sometimes, it is a good "strategy"...
Afterall, I've seen cases where "taiji masters" survive long and can even get promoted...
Tuesday, July 23, 2019
CT Scan
Laoniang went for a CT scan this morning. For the brain. I last did an MRI 5 years back...
Time flies. This time round, the doc called for a simpler CT scan instead. If this scan result is also an all-clear, like how it is every 3 or 5 years from 2005, then I likely won't need anymore CT scan or MRI scan for the brain anymore. Fingers crossed! And yay in advance!
Laoniang kena poke again today. Had to insert a plug in my right inner elbow again. (Maybe the veins are better there). The plug was for them to pump saline and contrast into me so for the scan to take place. Lost track of how many times I kena poked by needles this year liao...
Laoniang will jiayou !!!
I can do this!!
Time flies. This time round, the doc called for a simpler CT scan instead. If this scan result is also an all-clear, like how it is every 3 or 5 years from 2005, then I likely won't need anymore CT scan or MRI scan for the brain anymore. Fingers crossed! And yay in advance!
Laoniang kena poke again today. Had to insert a plug in my right inner elbow again. (Maybe the veins are better there). The plug was for them to pump saline and contrast into me so for the scan to take place. Lost track of how many times I kena poked by needles this year liao...
Laoniang will jiayou !!!
I can do this!!
Monday, July 22, 2019
*muacks*
And....we are 7 years!
If you count from our Chinese customary tea ceremony and Chinese wedding dinner lah...
If it's from the ROM date then we're almost 8 already....:)
Happy Anniversary Sayang!
Went for a yummy beef bowl lunch at Yoshinoya! K wanted to go to a better restaurant...but to me...
Yoshinoya's good enough...doesn't mean that only atas restaurants dish out good stuff...:)
Maybe my tummy craved for the beef bowl today :)
Here's to many many more years ahead Baby!
If you count from our Chinese customary tea ceremony and Chinese wedding dinner lah...
If it's from the ROM date then we're almost 8 already....:)
Happy Anniversary Sayang!
Went for a yummy beef bowl lunch at Yoshinoya! K wanted to go to a better restaurant...but to me...
Yoshinoya's good enough...doesn't mean that only atas restaurants dish out good stuff...:)
Maybe my tummy craved for the beef bowl today :)
Here's to many many more years ahead Baby!
Friday, July 19, 2019
Jal haess-eo
Took a long route through the last stragglers of the lunch crowd.
It was more crowded that what I was used to and I did feel abit light-headed.
Still, I did step out. I did walk through those remaining crowds.
I did go the longer way and not seek a shortcut.
And I did not ...for lack of a better word...get kancheong.
And I was okay.
Jal haess-eo, Michelle.
Good job, Michelle.
It was more crowded that what I was used to and I did feel abit light-headed.
Still, I did step out. I did walk through those remaining crowds.
I did go the longer way and not seek a shortcut.
And I did not ...for lack of a better word...get kancheong.
And I was okay.
Jal haess-eo, Michelle.
Good job, Michelle.
Reminder to Self
Baby Steps
- One step at a time, don't run before you learn how to walk
Track Accomplishments
- See your small wins, see how you've progressed and moved forward
Focus
- 3 things, not 10
Take Care of your Body
- Do better
- One step at a time, don't run before you learn how to walk
Track Accomplishments
- See your small wins, see how you've progressed and moved forward
Focus
- 3 things, not 10
Take Care of your Body
- Do better
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