Adrian helped parents to do up their LPA yesterday. I was one of the donees and had to login to the OPG portal to accept this role. Then I realised from the portal....K & I did ours up 4 years ago in end 2020....how time flies...
I told my parents about it at the time and it took them 4 years to execute....mainly cos Adrian guided them how to do so. My fault, I didn't follow-through. Also cos...they told me they wanted to read up on their own first.
Anyway...nvm.....
Had an hour long chat with my direct boss this afternoon after lunch on some sensitive work matters about how another team's boss spoke to me about tapping on my staff to fulfil the other team's work scope.
Somewhere in the conversation...
Me: The youngest in my team is already 40.
Him: We need to get younger folks on board to know our work. We're in a niche industry. It takes someone several years to know and understand how things work...and you're already nearing 50. When we leave, who's gonna take over?
Didn't bother with his last sentence......
*cue cymbals clashing*
*cue sad music*
*cue close up shot of my anguished face*
"....AND YOU'RE ALREADY NEARING 50...."
Laoniang is mid-40s....I still have 5 more years to hit 50 ya...not too far but also not so near lah!!!
岁月不饶人.....sigh...
Eczema?
Ever since we shifted stuff out from BluCoral in end June & July, I had on & off outs of itching...one after the other...with some itchy areas just staying itchy till now.
Itchy scalp. Itchy area around lips. Itchy fingers with tiny bumps sometimes. Itchy armpits. Itchy back of neck with rashes.
And most recently in the last 2 days....itchy patch on back of right thigh just below the bum.
Pek chek & worrying.
Cannot be slathering myself with hydrocortisone so much right? Resorted to taking Zyrtec on one of the days several weeks ago too.
May this pass soon....
Teary since yesterday. Not sure why. Emo cos of menses? But upcoming one is only in another 1-2 weeks I think. Unless the cycle is getting shorter which happened before. (Menopausing?) Tired of things?...
Stepped into office building lobby this morning and wanted to cry. Face was scrunched up and I took deep breaths lest the security guard at the counter noticed me. Luckily there were only 1 or 2 others around and they were all scuttling towards the lifts.
Stepped out into the lift lobby at my level and again wanted to cry.
May this just be a passing phase.
Jiayou....
I am always thankful having u as my RO
More work to do (compared to last time)....but I am never alone....thanks for always supporting us and being around.
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Words from ST. Some small motivation to keep going. Glad I have good colleagues & teammates to keep me sane amidst the rubbish that comes sometimes....
Jiayou Michelle!
Maybe I need to 冲花水
One complaint case last week. 2 this week. So many angry, self-entitled people around who are quick to flare up or jump to conclusions which lead to misunderstandings and misconstrued intentions.
Yesterday's complaint case is hopefully resolved. But it has dug up a can of worms which we did not know about for 1.5 years. Can of worms is being addressed at the moment.
Today's case took up so much of our time. I hope our proposed solution works for both parties and the case can be resolved by tomorrow. Didn't realise my stomach was tensed up till I left my home work desk for dinner.
Patience tested as well. Glad I have my teammates around to handle some of these together with me.
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What does not kill you makes you stronger....
But 也不要这样 leh....给老娘一点喘气的机会好吗？
I'm resistant to changes. Call me 古板, 固执 or suaku....but yeah, I don't use things like Apple Pay, Google Pay, Grab Pay. I don't use e-credit cards. I don't use SimplyGo on my mobile either.
For the longest time I did not have the Singpass app as well, till I was forced to download it cos of some banking procedures.
Just don't feel comfortable having so many things on the mobile. Yes, it's convenient but it's ok...I'll live with some of these traditional methods...
Snippets of stuff in the last couple of weeks
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Gum issues
Right lower back, then right upper back.
Been using antiseptic mouthwash for more than a week. I really hope right upper back gets well soon. I don't wish to go for another round of deep gum cleaning. Cos...painful like shit.
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Got my way (but erm...not really too?)
On a work issue where I managed to push my position and remove our hotline number from invoices...somewhat thankful.
But not so thankful that a boss has suggested something big and hinted (thankfully only to myself so far) that I take the lead in handling it as a FY26 work project.
AI agentic chatbot to handle our hotline queries.
救命啊!!!!!! No idea what to do or how to handle.
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National Day Parade
We managed to keep our tradition and watch the parade this year. As a family of 4, huddled in K & my room, on our bed. :)
And we sang the national anthem and said the pledge together again too. :)
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Work
Most challenges from the June/July period have been settled. I am thankful & grateful for those who helped, especially the colleague from Legal assigned to advise/assist our team. Grateful too for SP whom I spent some time disturbing though he was away in Malaysia for a short trip.
There were other irksome moments like having to deal with a colleague who is always clueless and trying to smoke/muddle her way through things. But still thankful for having a bunch of other colleagues who are there to hustle together through various issues.
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Mahjong
Had 2-3 short & simple mahjong sessions on some of the Saturday evenings when we went over to Adrian's place. Mum's the one who is gian I think. :D :D under the guise of teaching her grandson how to play lol....
I'm happy for these family times...and at least I get to hone my rusty mahjong skills abit.
That piece of work...is really stressing me out.
At times I can feel my stomach tensing up. And there are days when I go to bed with my stomach tensed up, and in the morning when I wake I feel tense again.
You know it's a sibei sensitive issue when your parent ministry takes a long time to assess and clear its channels just to provide you with its position. And clearance was at top-management level, with even the Min kept informed.
And lawyers from both parent & your end are involved.
And you need to keep your CEO informed as well.
And.......sigh...
Alot of "firsts" that we met with after I took over the ops. Why me?
(Reminds me of a white Tshirt I had when I was a teenager...it had WHY ME?! sprawled all over the front of the T-shirt in big bold and black letters)
Zapping me out.
I hope, and I really hope that this issue gets resolved soon and smoothly too.
Fingers & toes crossed.
We handed over our unit to the couple from HK today.
Looks mature & steady. The lady is expecting and already in her second trimester. She seems cool-headed and grounded. Based on first impressions, I like her. She works for Meta, and the husband works for an investment bank.
I hope the rental goes on smoothly for more than a few years.
Many things happening at the same time. My mind's in a whirl and half the time I feel like I am not keeping up with things.
Work has been challenging on certain fronts. Just glad I have people to share my woes with, and a nice boss to 并肩作战 with.
On the home front...N's PSLE prep is largely handled by K and I am thankful for that...her ballet stuff, her DSA stuff, her entering puberty and handling some physical changes, her relationship with her friends, etc...
A's Brownies CCA is sometimes a killer with the amount of stuff to do to attain "badges"....one day plogging project, another day some reading project, another day some save $$ thrift project, etc...Just glad she's disciplined enough to settler her work on her own without too much nagging from us.
Rental issues, clearing out our unit, reno, etc.................................................
I do feel overwhelmed sometimes...though K has been doing most of the legwork...
Some brainfog in place as well...I might be in perimenopause...or already menopauising...?
Was in the midst of a talk on AI film-making when I got a text from K saying that A was at home cos she'd fallen in school during PE. Though her scratches and abrasions weren't too serious, her PE teacher still sent her back home.
Got home after work and saw that her chin had a big bruise/abrasion. I hope it doesn't leave any scar. Her left knee had another big patch of scratches and a circular wound. The other knee had a smaller abrasion and the back of her left hand had another smaller abrasion. Hope none of these leave any scar.
I need to get new gauze and surgical tape tomorrow....
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N had her vocational intermediate exams this morning! Hope she does well enough. Poor girl had to wake early to get her hair done by me cos I had to go to work today. Her exam was only at 9-plus but her hair was all done up at 715am lol. But I guess she was happy she got to skip school. ;p
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K received 2 emails today, both informing that N has been shortlisted and would need to go for her DSA auditions within the next one week. :) Yay! Hope she gets through at least one of them! Fingers & toes crossed! Now to prep her for interview questions, self-introduction, etc...
Was at Sandy Palm on Saturday evening for family dinner as usual.
Adrian updated that they finally managed to get Dad to make a pair of hearing aids! Am happy this finally happened...am a litle shocked that this came so suddenly...
Seems like a forced visit to the ENT specialist finally convinced Dad to take this step. Seems he was told that continued hearing loss contributes to the onset of dementia. This was the thing that tipped him over I think.
I still remember 2-3 years back when he was so upset whenever anyone of us brought this thing about getting him fitted with hearing aids. He texted Adrian at the time (they were and are still living in the same house, just different floors lol) and gave an ultimatum that if this was brought up again, he would 翻脸 with us.
Anyway, he'll be collecting his pair of aids next week...hope all will go smoothly and he doesn't need much adjustments made. Still recall when Granny had hers done last time and there was so much hassle when frequencies were distorted, there was ringing sounds, her silicon mould had to be refitted several times, etc. Technology has improved alot since then and I hope Dad's aids will be all good. Heard they're pretty compact and not too visible too...one thing his ego was concerned about I think.
Cheers to Dad's better hearing & an improved quality of life!
Several things happened before the girls' bedtime last night.
N was still taking her own time getting ready as usual.
I was already in their room with A and doing my usual goodnight wishes to A. We somehow got to talking about handling & regulating our own feelings and emotions. A mentioned she'd imagine herself as a big & strong horse with all bad thoughts & stuff scrunched up into a ball at her feet. She'd use a strong hoof and squash that ball of bad stuff into a flat piece as a thin as a piece of paper and then kick it away. That flat piece of bad stuff would then float away in the wind never to be seen again.
I was surprised. I'd never taught her about visualisation or imagery. I told her then about visualisation techniques and how therapists teach adults how to do this as a way to have a better grip on their emotions. I told her she was good & "clever" to already know this at such a young age and that some adults don't know about this. Case in point, laoniang only learnt this method during therapy 6yrs ago lol.
As if on cue...N came in and started kicking up a fuss. She'd been feeling emo & scared ever since she watched a few minutes of an odd and creepy Korean horror drama at Adrian's place earlier in the evening. She got increasingly difficult to handle and was working herself into a frenzy. She was bawling loudly by then. So much so that I had to take her out the room and make her stay in my room instead. Else A would not be able to sleep.
I apologised to A...who grumbled "Why does she have to always throw such tantrums? Just don't think about bad thoughts lah! If the show is bad, then don't watch, right??!" Wise words from the small one. Earlier in the night she'd sensed that the show was creepy and opted not to watch it. Anyway, I digressed.
I had to leave A alone in their bedroom to tend to N. In the short 2-3 mins I spent apologising to A, N had stopped bawling. She was sitting on my bed, leaning against my pillows & bolster and just staring into space. Occasionally sniffling abit. Probably stuck in a rut. I snapped my fingers and got her to wipe her face with a tissue and tidy up her hair abit. Also got her to sit up straighter.
And then spent the next 30minutes giving her a mini CBT session. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. I tried to teach her what I'd learnt last time from my own therapy sessions. Understanding that thoughts affect your feelings and emotions which then affect your actions...and sometimes your actions feed back into your thoughts and then it becomes an endless loop. I shared with her visualisation techniques how to better control your thoughts. And how to perhaps then replace those thoughts with more neutral or happier ones. I reminded her again about breathing and how focusing on it could help to calm oneself down.
I tried my best lah. Teaching a 12-yr-old these things...and using language that she understands...I may not have done CBT much justice but I tried. And more importantly, I hope N gets it and finds a suitable way to regulate herself.
I also shared with her that visualisation might be difficult to do in the beginning but it gets better with time and practice...I hope she remembers to try it out.
I thought having "I hate you" said to me by my kid was the ultimate.
Never in my life did I expect to hear "You are not my mother."
When all I did was to get them to go to bed. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong person.
Nabeh. 一山比一山高 is it? 老娘 is carrying a 12cm scar across my abdomen cos of you lor.
Nair mind.
Laoniang take deep breaths.
Laoniang will take as many deep breaths as she needs.
This too shall pass.
