starting the green stuff again....

I dragged K and Little Baby out on Sunday afternoon. We popped by Katong Flower Shop for about an hour. And I came back with 3 new pots of plants and other paraphernalia.

Little Baby slept early that night and I managed to get the opportunity to do some simple gardening in the balcony. Glad K brought me to the nursery to get all those things. It's been a very long time since I managed to do any potting about in the balcony.

Not that it's my own balcony that I'm fiddling around in, it feels even nicer...

Current projects:
(1) Try to keep all my pots healthy. One or two of them which I bough a few months back when we first shifted in are showing signs of not doing well..I hope they survive!

(2) Propagate my Bowles' mint and African Violet.

My colleague's Venue flytrap is a young plant and is currently only doing so-so...he said once it gets stronger he might be able to get me a leaf to propagate...hehe. I'll be excited if that day really comes. Always wanted one but it's a challenge to find bugs and flies to feed it...

Little Baby

She's growing fast. Wishing sometimes that she could slow down a little and let us savour her toddlerhood and babyhood  more.

She's speaking more now.

Dada. Mama. Yeye (my FIL). Por por (my mum). Ball. Bird. Cow. Flower. Poo Poo. Shoe. Park (means carpark). Tah (means star).

And she understands a lot more words and sentences, and she can also understand 2-step instructions like "Pick up the ball and bring it to Mama". 

My favourite game with her is the "Where?" game. 

Good way to distract and sometimes it offers me a way to get her off my back when she is too clingy. 

"Where is doggy?" That's her soft toy.

"Where is your waterbottle?"

"Where is Winnie the Pooh?" Another soft toy. 

"Where is Dada?" Go find Dada. 

"Where is your bolster?"

And she toddles off to go find these things. Sometimes she gets distracted along the way and sits down to play with whatever it was that she chanced upon. Sometimes she really does go find these things. 

Somehow the first shape she has learned to recognise is the star. Not a square or circle or oval or triangle. But a star. And she clasps her fingers repeatedly when she sees a star in a book. That is her hand signal for the song "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". 

She is getting cheekier too. She knows I would get miffed if she spits out her food and so she sometimes does it. Slowly. She would spit out a little and I'd wipe it off. Apparently she would keep food in her mouth and after I wipe her, she would spit out the rest in installments. Again and again. Till I find something else to distract her. 

Baking

Worked from home today. 

And decided to give baking a shot again when I had some time in the afternoon. (Actually it was more like I was too xian to work. I thank my boss and company for this flexibility). 

I made muffins on Saturday but they (especially the surface) turned out quite hard. I called them biscuits instead.

Today's muffins were much better and I actually enjoyed the choc chip ones. They could still be better though. Another time, I'll try again. 

Fashion

She picked this outfit yesterday when we wanted to head out. Well, at least the pants and shoes.

Not that matching and a little obiang. 

She's still a baby though haha. Let's hope she gets more colour coordinated and develops more finesse in aesthetics and fashion next time! 😜

The Coll

As a manager, who has staff reporting to you, shouldn't you lead by example?
You penalise them when they head out for lunch because they are not supposed to as they are on afternoon leave.

And yet, you do it yourself. Not once, not twice but on several occasions.

Where's the integrity? Super double standard lor........
The more I see these things, the more I lose my respect for you......

Nadya at 15 Months

And so Little Baby is turning 15mths old on 9 Jan 2015. What's her stats now?

Weight: 9.4-9.5kg (70-75% percentile)

Length: 75-77cm (around 50th percentile)

Teeth: 2 stubby lower front incisors and 2 stubby upper front incisors (all are stubby because they seem to grow out halfway and just stop there)

Mongoloid marks: The one on her right shoulder is faint but still visible.

Motor Skills

• She gets up on her own now to walk and is walking quite steadily. She does not bother to see where she is going though and barges through anything and everything and thus falls over quite often. Either that or she gets excited and walks faster than her feet can handle and trips over herself lol.
• She has discovered the twisting motion and is twisting the caps off pens, and my makeup pens...She has also discovered how to tap down on click pens...(my bedsheet has several pen marks now because K gave her a pen to play with zzzzz...)

Cognitive/Emotional Development

• She is still throwing a hissy fit when you take something away from her or when you don't give her what she wants.
• She can get pretty stubborn sometimes.
• Sometimes refuses to let me hold her hand when she's walking (but I need to on some occasions especially when she's on a tarred road or at the carpark)

Communication/Social Skills 

• She is not waving so freely anymore. :( Upsetting to see. Maybe she has learned that since people (strangers) are not so forthcoming with waves and smiles, she probably should not waste time extending such pleasantries to them. I noticed this trend since a few weeks back...
• Sticks to me like glue when with other people she is not familiar with. Takes a long time to warm up. I hope this is just a phase.
• Babbling alot more with intonations. 
• She can say the words "Ba-Bye" to mean bye bye. It used to be "BaBa" to mean bye bye. She can also say "bird", "ball", "mama", "dada" and "yeye". Her favourite word seems to be "ball". 
• Recently likes to say "WHOA!" 
• Understands alot more questions and words now. "What does a dog say?" and her response would be "wou wou" or "woof woof". "What does a cow say?" and her response would be "moo" or "moo moo". 
• If she is in the cot, she knows to stop whatever she is doing and lie down on her back with her head on the pillow when she sees me approaching with a bottle of milk.

Food

• She fell sick with diarrhoea and a bad stomach the week before Christmas 2014 and was eating poorly. She's fully recovered now and is eating with a vengeance haha. I am always happy to see her eating and finishing up her food.
• New foods that she's tried in the last 1 to 2 months:
• small bits of my tomato sauce pasta
• cake
• home-made banana pancakes
• the burger bun of a filet-o'-fish hamburger
• McDonald's hotcakes (minus the sweet syrup) 
• grouper fish
• salmon
• threadfin
• tomato
• corn
• oats 

1001 Things

*breathe*

Many things. Each with its own numerous nitty gritty sub-tasks.
Many timelines to adhere to. More schedules to plan out.
And many many small things to track.

My to-do list with its tasks and sub-tasks and sub-pointers for each sub-task is getting very long.

Have tried delegating some things out but technically I don't have any staff below me and there is only that much I can delegate out. 

Super stretched with many things which were not in my original job scope being thrown to me.

*breathe*

If I don't get my High Achiever status and good bonus this year I am going to......

I dunno.....

.......

...

Pluck the boss' hair out???

He better appreciate what I am doing because I am handling a very big piece of one of his work items for him.

Goodbye?

Friends since 1994. You were my senior in secondary school. We were both prefects, we were in the same Art Club and you had a crush on my good friend as well.

You graduated first and I graduated 2 years after you. We kept in touch for the longest time after we both left our school, albeit on and off.

I remember there was once I even crept out of my house in the middle of the night (at the risk of incurring the wrath of my parents) to meet you at my void deck because you were crying your heart out over a break-up.

We last met in 2011 when you popped by my office area. We had kopi at Yakun.

In 2012, I invited you and your wife to my wedding. You took a long time to reply me but said you would be there. And then on the very day itself, you cancelled on me. You said you had to work at the last minute. It was a Sunday, I understand because you do shift work. I was upset but I understand too if you were busy and all you could do to inform me was to send an SMS. I would even understand if you told me afterwards that it was because your wife didn't like me and hence didn't allow you to attend my wedding.

But then after that you went MIA. No calls, no SMSes, nothing. Since then, every time your birthday rolled around, I would send an SMS greeting to you. I received no reply both in 2013 and 2014 when I wished you. I reached out a few times in between, dropping you an SMS each time to ask how are things. No replies.

Over time I didn't even know if you had changed your number. You were dormant on Facebook as well. I was wondering what went wrong? How were you? How were things between you and your wife? And your cats too...

I knew you were still around though. You "liked" one of Little Baby's photos I posted up on Facebook the day she was born. A silent "like" I could easily have missed seeing.

I was busy for much of 2014 but at the back of my mind, I often wondered how did our friendship deteriorate suddenly a few years back? There was no pre-empt, no warning sign, no major quarrel or blow-up. And I think neither of us did anything stupid to warrant a sudden downward dip in our friendship.

I was perplexed. I had half a mind to not salvage our friendship anymore and let it spiral out of existence. Many a time I told myself to let it go. But I decided to reach out to you again. I dropped you a Facebook message a few weeks back to ask how are you. No reply again.

Your birthday was on 3 Jan and I dropped you a Whatsapp message to wish you. Surprise surpise.
You replied and thanked me for my well-wishes. I did not expect that and was hence somewhat surprised.

I asked after you. A simple 2-liner message.

You read it. Whatsapp shows 2 little blue ticks when the recipient receives and reads the message.

You did not reply again.

Sometimes, there is no point pursuing what is not meant to be, especially when the other party does not reciprocate.

A 2-decade old friendship. I tried.

Maybe it is time I give up and let things go.

Feeling

Indignant

Work that I've done behind the scenes has been claimed credit by my boss and another lazy asshole in Sri Lanka. 

Like WTF? I spend time and effort and someone else takes the credit while I remain anonymous to the community.

Exasperated

Even if you want to claim credit at least make sure that the document you send out is of some standard lah! Take my work and morph it into something sub-par and then send it out to so many people. *MEGA facepalm*

Resigned 

What else can I do? 

Wet hair

不认老也不行了...

I wash my hair everyday at night. And I used to go to sleep with wet hair when I was in my 20s. It was only in the last 4-5 years that I started blow drying my hair. 

These days, if I go more than 2 days of sleeping with wet hair, I get a bad headache. 

Was busy the last few days and could only shower late in the night after settling chores and the little girl. Got too sleepy and lazy to even blow dry my hair...flopped into bed with dripping hair...

And so...today the sides of my head hurt. 

活该, 自找的...

2014 in some simple stats

1. Went a whole year with nary a single facial, manicure or pedicure done. 
2. 2014 is the first year in more than a decade that I did not exit the country a single time. *jaw drop* I did not even step foot in Batam or Bintan or Johor. 
3. This is the year I was at my heaviest at 53kg (sans baby) since more than a decade ago. 
4. 2014 marks the first time ever that I have a debt, specifically, a $1million debt. 
5. I went to the GP more than 15 times in 2014 for various ailments.
6. I spent the most on online shopping. (I did not tally my expenditure. I did not want to shock myself.)
7. I spent the most on cab rides. 

Goodbye 2014.

When 2013 was ending, I thought 2014 and I would be good friends. It turned out otherwise. We had a love-hate relationship.

2014 was a challenging year. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Many peaks and troughs. Not sure if tumultuous would be the right word to describe it. Maybe eventful would be a more apt word.

2014 was when my:

• patience was stretched
• limits were breached
• emotions were tested thoroughly 
• determination and perseverance were tried
• ego took many beatings 
• self-doubt was over-taking me

Why do I say it was a love-hate relationship with 2014? 

Because with all the above, 2014 was also the year that I experienced:

• unconditional love and support from K, family and friends
• growth, in all senses of the word
• the widening of my horizon
• realisation, understanding and some clarity 
• the love a mother has for her child

And for these I am thankful.

It's been an eventful year. Not very good, not very bad, but eventful. 

May 2015 bring greater things. And may everyone around me stay healthy, happy and blessed always.

May God bless the little girl too. That she grows up healthy, happy and strong.  May she be guai guai and listen to her parents too.

And so it is...

Life in snippets

• I'm doing better though my stomach is still in a queasy and fragile state. 
• Little baby is doing better as well. Her appetite is back, she is drinking milk like nobody's business and she seems to be pooping normal poo.
• We brought little baby to the PD at least 4 times till the nurses there are on good terms with us.
• K on the other hand was doing better but was suddenly hit by gut issues again on Sunday. I hope he gets well soon enough. 
• I lost 2kg over the last 5 days or so. 

• There are just some work matters that I can't seem to get started on. They are important but...I have no affinity with them...bah.
• I need to wake the gardening side of me up again. It's been dormant for very long..all but one of my terrariums have withered away at my inlaws place, including one gorgeous one I did earlier this year...:(
• I should get started on the herb growing kit K got for me too...:)  

• The pile of clothes that need ironing is growing organically on a corner of our sofa.
• Little baby has been drooling and licking or sucking on her fingers and smearing them all over the balcony doors of most of the rooms...I've resigned to this fact and have stopped cleaning the doors that much now....hence, the ugly glass doors with finger prints and palm prints and lip prints and tongue smears....

Shitty (literally)

And so I spent Xmas night running to the toilet 6-7 times in 3 hours, and counting. Stomach feels a mess too. 

A trip to the doctor's tomorrow is a must.

In the meantime, I shall try to sleep. 

Sigh...

Queasy and lethargic

How I've been feeling since 2 days ago. Hope my stomach gets well soon. 

*pant*

It's been a somewhat rough and tough past 1.5 weeks.

- K came down with a bad bout of stomach flu and was purging from the top and bottom. 

- Not sure who spread to whom but N had diarrhoea too. She is still having it actually. Sigh, quite worrying 

- I had the runs too. And these 2 days my stomach has been feeling extremely queasy. I've not been eating much too. 

- Had to rush out various pieces of work. There's been many little little things to do and settle. I've had to list them down in my to do list lest they fall through the cracks somewhere. 

- It was a mad rush to settle Xmas presents and wrap them up 

香香

Just started using the Xmas gift I got for myself. :) quite fragrant. 

diet?

I've put on almost 2 kg in around 5 months.

Despite doing more household chores.

But I think the main culprint is my food intake.

After we shifted to our own place, we've on and off been experimenting with food and cooking our own meals. And for a period of time we were ordering in our meals as well...And also on and off for several weekends, we've had guests coming over as well, which meant more ordering in of meals.....

Xmas time now, hard to resist the good food that is around.

Maybe soon though it will be time for a diet....?

Hmm.

Herb garden

K got this for me last Friday when he popped by NTUC Finest. (Love this man!) 

I have yet to get it started but once I do, I hope the seeds germinate properly! 

Zombie

It was a tough night with me spending almost 1h30mins from 4am to 530am trying to get her to go back to sleep after she woke....and then finally ending up on the sofa with her sleeping on top of me. (I was desperate.)

In any case, I am a zombie today. Totally unproductive. Been drafting a memo since morning. I should have finished it before lunch time and it is now already 3pm.

3 more hours to go before end of the workday. An hour of bus ride and then another 3 more hours of mom duties. Good luck to me.

jiayou....