Digital oil painting

Progress has been made on the digital oil painting piece.....

The unfortunate thing is that the blue paint given for the boy's clothes is all dried up!! I'll see what I can do....

Previously

The Lord's Prayer

Reminder to self to also keep this prayer close to heart. 

Our Father who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven. 

Give us this day our daily bread,

And forgive us our sins,

As we forgive those who have sinned against us. 

Lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

And the power,

And the glory.

Forever and ever.

Amen. 

Ohm

Sometimes certain things are "in your face" and grate on your nerves after awhile. 

And you can't really do anything about it. 

I should tell myself to suck it up.  

Maybe an excerpt from the serenity prayer would help....

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Ol' Blue Eyes

I knew it wasn't that brilliant an idea but I still chose to have Frank Sinatra accompany me at work this morning. I haven't been as productive as I would have liked haha. I ended up googling his images and reading up a little on parts of his life.

Amazing talent. They don't come by in such packages these days no more...

Monday morning

Starting the work week missing the little girl. Enough said. :(

Talk. Chat. Talk Somemore

For some reason people seem to like talking to me today.

My boss stopped by at my desk and "regaled" me with stories from his yesteryears in a time when people still used office boys to send memos from one level to another level of the office. That took 30-45mins.

A colleague stopped by my desk as well and we spoke about both work and non-work stuff. That took another 15-20mins.

I was then waylaid by a lady from another division located on the same floor, while on my way to the washroom. That took almost 30mins.

Ok, there goes my efficiency for the day.
Zilch!

Deeds

One does not need to do one big good deed to feel happy. Undertaking several small nice deeds each day also makes one feel good. If each of us did one or two nice deeds a day, everyday, I think the world would really be a nicer and happier place. :)

One small nice deed for today:
Bringing back (from the front of the queue) some of the metal tongs used for selecting food items for a yong tau foo meal.

I think the 3 ladies behind me in the yong tau foo stall today were pleasantly surprised. Well, at least they sounded quite surprised when I brought back the food tongs from where they had been left off at the front of the queue, took one for myself and passed the rest to them. They unanimously all said "oh wah, thank you!"

Lol, that put a smile on my face.

At least, they were appreciative.

Unlike some people who don't bother acknowledging me or thanking me when I hold the lift doors open for them.....Oh well, it does take time for us as a people to become more polite and friendly I suppose?

What other small deeds can one do to make someone else happy and also bring happiness to yourself? Hmm...holding the door open, bringing back your colleague's printout from a faraway printer, making a cup of milo for a colleague having the sniffles, etc....

Painting

I bought a digital painting kit from qoo10 a month or two back.

I've been wanting to try it out and well I finally did it tonight. Essentially its a mini canvas printed with an outlined image. Spaces within the image are numbered and you are given different coloured paints with are numbered correspondingly to the spaces. So you just match the colour to the numbered space and then paint away.....no brainer really but it does take patience to paint within the lines. The paintbrush given is a fine one so you can manoeveur it around all the curved outlines.  I think my fingers are still pretty deft and nimble haha. 

Painting in progress.....will probably take awhile since I can't afford too much time each time I paint...:) 

Breathe in, breathe out

It gets to me. It still does.

Is it because I'm more sensitive and emotional lately? Or because I'm more tired so I let things get to me more easily. 

I hope it doesn't show on my face too much when things happen and I feel irked. 

忍一时风平浪静

1.5years already. 

Sorry Mr Snail

I am usually careful when waking along this particular path, especially after a bout of rain. Why? Because snails usually venture out onto this particular path. 

I was mighty tired this evening and the only thought on my mind was to get to the bus-stop so I could go home. I wasn't concentrating on the ground. 

And then I heard a sickening cracking sound from underfoot. I knew instantly I just killed a snail. 

I looked down and there it was, not entirely crushed because I held back instinctively the moment I heard the sound and felt something beneath my foot. 

But its shell was damaged enough and I don't think it would survive much longer.

Sigh. 

Sorry Mr Snail. 

我不是故意的。

:( 

Lawyers

I do generalise sometimes.

Like when I think of lawyers, I usually expect someone witty, articulate, eloquent, smart, with an acid tongue when needed, assertive and possibly adversarial when needed, firm, cool and calm, imposing sometimes, generally you feel assured with them, etc.......you get the drift. And they usually speak in a certain calculated manner.

So far, most of the lawyers (old or young, experienced or fresh, partner or associate) I have seen, met or interacted with, whether in casual or formal situations, fit into the above descriptions.

The lawyer I saw yesterday however, sort of fell out of the above descriptions. He was a senior associate. After being in a meeting with him for 3 hours, somehow the word that came to my mind to describe him was "ditzy".

My own internal legal counsel was in the same meeting and today she shared with me that she felt the same way haha.

He was mainly taking notes of the meeting but did throw in some jibes and smart aleck jokes during the course of the meeting, sometimes while his colleague, a senior partner of their law firm, was talking. After making what he thought was a smartass remark, he would look around soliciting laughter or smiles from people....but um...to no avail.

Maybe I might change my mind about him when I interact more with him in the future.

He has been put in charge of the issues my company has assigned to their law firm, under the supervision of his senior partner. Right now, I can only keep my fingers crossed that he will do a good job with the tasks assigned to him.

Mdm Ong

In all my years of taking cabs, which means about 16 years or so, I don't think I've ever had such an enjoyable ride as the one I had yesterday evening.

Thank you Mdm Ong Sok Hwa.

You really made my day yesterday and perked me up so much.

I was having a headache, feeling tired and wanted to get back to the inlaws' place earlier to fetch Little baby who wasn't feeling well. I put in a Grabtaxi request and Mdm Ong responded.

From the moment I got on her cab, we sort of started chatting. All the way. We chatted in an easy and natural mix of Mandarin, English and Hokkien. Nevermind that my head was throbbing. She was such an easy person to speak to and a pretty cool mum. She was probably in her 50s and referred to herself as a "21st century open-minded mum" haha. I was only a year older than her eldest son.

She told me about her 3 kids and their love relationships. I could tell she was a proud mum. She told me about her Indonesian helper who had been with her and her family for 28 years. I shared some stories with her as well. We had open laughs and genuine guffaws.

When I reached my destination, we actually ended up chatting a whole 10 minutes more. Lol...I could hear her phone beep with incoming GrabTaxi requests but she waved them off and said "Later still can get business, talk to you first." So sweet haha.

She called it fate that we could click so well with each other. She also described me as being "chu bee", which means friendly and likeable/approachable in Hokkien.

When we finally parted ways, she wished me well for the pregnancy, and shared some confinement tips with me.

What can I say? It was such a random encounter. But one which left such a deep impression on me.
Perhaps it really is fate that someone like that pops into your life, albeit fleetingly, and touches your heart and makes you feel better.

Nayda at 18 Months

Little Baby turned 18mths old on 9 Apr 2015.

Weight: 10.7kg (75th percentile)

Length: 80cm (50th percentile)

Teeth: 2 stubby lower front incisors and 2 stubby upper front incisors (all are stubby because they seem to grow out halfway and just stop there) and another 2 on each side of the lower front incisors.


Motor Skills

• I should say that it's pretty good now, though she still trips over her own feet from time to time.
• She can pick up tiny things quite easily.

Cognitive/Emotional Development

• Still throws a hissy fit when you take something away from her or when you don't give her what she wants. But you can reason it out with her sometimes.
• She's a stubborn one.

Communication/Social Skills 

• Speaks alot more now, I think her speech vocabulary count is around 70-80 words and she understand alot more words than that.
• Understands 2-part instructions like "Pick up your shoes and then give them to Dada"
• Still insists on having me put her to bed and insists on having me soother her back to sleep if she wakes in the middle of the night. (which explains my zombie-like state on most days)
• Knows how to identify plastic packaging or used tissue as rubbish and then helps me throw them into the dustbin. (yay, save my energy of walking to the dustbin on my own!)
• Loves music and sometimes insists on us turning on the radio. 
• Knows some words to certain songs like the alphabet song, the happy birthday song, row your boat, etc.

Food

• We are now giving her adult food. We cook our meals on the weekends and she eats what we eat. I try to cook healthier and less oily stuff for obvious reasons. I also need to consider sometimes that she only has a few teeth and can't chew harder or more fibrous stuff like asparagus....If we head out to restaurants, she gets to try the food there too. .
• She has not been introduced to chilli or spicier stuff yet though. Akan datang. This Peranakan mama wants her daughter to be able to eat chilli haha. 

Parenting

I need to control my temper, patience and emotions more.

Especially now when Little Baby is not so little anymore and is slowly exploring the world around her, its boundaries and limits, and discovering her own assertiveness and insistence.

Dinnertime yesterday started out peaceful and was smooth-sailing till the point when she decided to spit out her food. I thought she was full already even though she had only had a few mouthfuls of food. But for some reason she asked for more food and so I gave her more, only to have her spit the food out again and again. It was a game to her and I guess she was testing limits. I firmly reprimanded her and she responded by grabbing the bowl and spoon. She also managed to grab a fistful of mee sua, squished it between her fingers and was going to smear the food on the sofa in the living room.

I scolded her and then I snapped. And gave her a hard smack on her thigh. It was the hardest smack I’d ever given to her. It left red prints on her thigh. She was momentarily stunned and in the second moment she started bawling her eyes out.

I left her crying on the sofa, cleared up the food mess and walked away to cool myself down.

Went back to her 2-3 minutes later and she’d stopped sobbing by then. I was a lot calmer and she was distracted by a toy then. I felt bad to have left a mark on her skin. I held her hand and she squeezed my fingers. I gave her a hug and she rubbed her face on me. All was forgiven.

She might have forgotten the pain of the smack but I could not forget the rage and frustration I had felt at that point in time when I smacked her.

Learning point:

I need to control my temper, patience and emotions better. Also, now that I have the benefit of hindsight, one thing I should have done was to explain to her why I did what I did. It was a teachable moment and I missed the opportunity. Nevermind, move on. Just need to bear these in mind. There will be other incidents and teachable moments in the future.

Food for thought:

How could I have handled the situation better? Besides losing it and smacking her, would talking to her and reasoning it out with her have helped? While she is only 18 months old, she seems relatively more mature and mentally/emotionally developed compared to some of her peers, her teachers have said so too.

Further thoughts:

Parenting is a constant learning journey. A period of self-discovery for the parents as well. There’s a long way ahead for all of us, including Little Baby. May we all grow and develop ourselves into better beings in time to come.

Kindness was bestowed upon me and I am grateful

I'm a pretty passive person and won't ask for someone to give up their seat for me. It doesn't help that I am at the awkward not-here-not-there stage where people can't tell I'm just fat or really expecting.

I stood for several bus stops, knowing actually that once I hit Vivocity another 3 stops away, more people would get down and then I would be able to get a seat. 

But then a kind lady noticed me and gestured for me to go over. She gave her seat to me and gave me the sweetest and friendliest smile ever. She was probably in her 30s as well and totally reminded me of Diana, having that same sweet and endearing nature. 

My heart melted and I accepted the seat gratefully. 

Meanwhile, the men who were seated around me continued to sleep......

Bummer

I cried. 

At 3am last night. Or rather, early this morning. 

More out of frustration than anything. 

The lack of sleep and regular interruptions to whatever sleep I have left have affected my work performance. 

I am easily distracted at work. I can't concentrate well. I read 2-3 sentences and then I can't register much else after that. I can't think properly and I end up procrastinating on certain issues. Now my plate has piled up. Brought it upon myself. 

I don't like this. I used to churn out good work that I was proud of. Now I feel like I am just doing enough to keep myself afloat, just barely above he water's surface. 

Not good at all. I don't like this.

K says I need at least a week's break. I don't have this luxury at the moment.

A letter

Dear Coll,

If you claim you are very busy and cannot possibly deliver a particular paper by the end of May, then don't go for long lunches or don't read the newspaper after you get back from a shorter lunch lor. I thought that was simple logic? And also, how come you can go for 1.5hrs lunch but then your staff cannot ah?

Sighs,
Your colleague.

Church, Granny and Family...

There was a period of time when I cried very easily whenever I popped into Holy Family Church. It didn't matter whether I was attending mass or not, I'd find myself tearing up whenever I started praying and looking at the stained glass feature piece of Mother Mary. 

I'm glad I was more in control of myself this afternoon. I did tear up a little but that was that. Nothing too overwhelming.

Have I grown older? 

Anyway, Dad, Mum, Adrian, Ah Gor and I  spent some time doing our own prayers, in memoriam of Granny on her first death anniversary. 

I thought it was a cosy familial thing to do and I quite appreciated the outing. Cosy and intimate, yet each of us had our own private prayer session, our own time with Granny and our own time with God. 

Nevermind that 3 out of 5 of us are non-Catholics and 1 of us is only a silent non-practicing Catholic. I think we were all sincere and our prayers were heartfelt. 

I love my family. 

*wails*

It has to be true. Expectant mothers get more forgetful, clumsy and blur. And did I say clumsy already?

I scraped my knee against a piece of furniture this morning. There was a sharp pain and when I looked down at the offending furniture, to my utmost horror, a piece of my skin was on it. 

Needless to say, the wound, though not a big size, started bleeding almost immediately . :( 

The little girl was pretty inquisitive about the piece of plaster I had put over the wound after that and kept picking at it. Bah. 

Bathing brought a further sting to the wound. 

Just whining. 

But.

Me want TLC.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow will be a day of mixed emotions I think.

Heading out for brunch to celebrate K's birthday in advance. With his family.

Then in the afternoon I would be heading over to Holy Family Church with my family. A simple memorial of sorts, for my Granny's first year death anniversary.

I hope I won't cry too much. The sadness is still hidden somewhere within.