Conversations with a 5-yr-old

Nadya and her magic ways....

N: Mama! Come, I show you magic!
Me: Ok..
N: See this water? *holds up a water bottle*
N: See ah....*proceeds to drink*
N: Tada! *opens her mouth wide*
N: See! Magic! No more water!

Wah...冷到.............

Anxiousness

My first brush with anxiety started back when I was 17. While it wasn't validated by a qualified doctor in the field, I was told by a GP that I might have anxiety. He said the signs and symptoms were there and gave me some Xanax to take for a few days. 

I think the pills did help. Since then, I try to tell myself to take things easier and tell myself to relax.

It's been pretty ok for the last 20 years. Although I did have a mini anxiety attack of sorts several years back. But I can't remember it was due to what issue already. 

Yesterday, I think I had 2 episodes where the anxiety almost overwhelmed me. Managed to quell it and control myself abit. 

One situation actually took place in IKEA. K was paying up so the girls were with me waiting at a corner. Nadya was irritating the hell out of me and wouldn't stop tugging at my clothes. I was feeling worried and anxious over my eye, and my patience was being sorely tested by her. I could feel this sense of "overwhelmingness" well up within. Managed to control it. 

It is scary when it gets like this. There is an overwhelming fear, and a feeling like you are going mad or out of control. The hearts beats fast and you feel light-headed sometimes. The stomach reacts as well and you feel nauseated. 

Reminding myself to keep a check on my own emotions and thoughts and not to let myself worry or think about things too much. Yes, need to ownself check ownself.

Eyes

10/11 November - I started seeing flashes of light in my left eye
15 November - managed to get a slot in to see the eye doc at the SNEC clinic at CGH. Degeneration of the eye and the retina. Weak areas in the retina. Jelly-like flap tugging at the retina whenever the eye moves.
24 November - flashes sort of disappeared. But there are more floaters in the left eye now.

Been feeling anxious about this.
Praying for the retina to stay strong. Praying for there to not be any tears.

Nothing that can be done at the moment. Just monitor. Next follow-up's on 3 Jan.
Hoping to get an earlier slot if possible.

music

DEAN
G-Dragon
Boyfriend
Henry
Taeyang
Jung Joon Young
Kang San Eh
IKON
BTS
EXO
Zion T
Wanna One
Taemin
Roy Kim
Akdong Musician

And many more accompany me on this workday.....

无奈

• eyes
• worries
• stamina
• rest
• career
• to-do stuff
• headaches
• the girls
• helper
• sleep
• everything?
• nothing?

Where Legends Are Born....:D

Dealing with parents these days is not easy. I salute teachers, principals, and all other academic and administrative staff who have to interact with parents.

And so, a mother of Nadya's classmate lodged a complaint with the principal and vehemently objected to their K2 class next year being called "Dependable Dingo". She shared with us her text to the principal and I thought her tone wasn't nice....It went something along the lines of "You're calling our children dogs??? Excuse me?!!"

Cutting the long story short, some of the other parents didn't like the name of the class as well (though they didn't voice it out to the principal). We ended up spending close to 2 hours having a virtual conference on Whatsapp brainstorming of better names....

We had Tenacious T-Rex, Loyal Lions, Determined Deer, Diligent Deer, Resilient Rhino.....

And then...K had a spark of brilliance....after googling....he came up with

Legendary Lions.

It wowed the socks off the rest of the parents lol. A father said "That's nice. They enter as infants but leave the school as legends!" And so the name was proposed to the principal, who liked the name too....

I met the principal this morning. She told me that the name was finalised and the kids would be informed today....:)

Her comment to me was "The name has alot of 霸气!"

I think so too...:) Fierce enough hahaha....

The Girls' Classes

The class names are out for the girls' school for next year...

Alyssa will either be in N2 Respectful Rabbit or N2 Grateful Giraffe.
Nadya will be K2 Dependable Dingos....

Erm...not the snazziest of class names....but well...I believe the teachers tried their best...


===========
Nadya was previously in...

• Infant Monet
• Infant Mozart
• Toddler Piaget
• N1 Katz
• N2 Trusmadi
• K1 Chicago

Alyssa was previously in......

• Infant Mozart
• Infant Mont Blanc
• Toddler Mount Eiger
• N1 Santorini

Not good

Don't feel like I'm in a good place right now.

My patience level is absolutely low. My irritability trigger is high.
I get affected negatively by certain people.
I lose my temper quite easily at the kids.

And I'm having a friggin headache right now.
Doing too much policy related work maybe.

Year-end

That certain smell in the air when year-end rolls around and when Xmas is in the air....
When there's a certain crispness and hope and anticipation....
When there's a certain jolly-ness in people's steps....

I can't smell it yet...but I can sense it's imminent arrival....

Xmas

I sometimes start my Xmas shopping as early as June or July if I see good deals or if I happen to chance upon something suitable. Some people say I am kiasu.

Oh well, I just did a count...Each year, I need to get close to 40 Xmas gifts...if I include year-end birthdays, then the count will be 40-plus...

If I don't start early, I'll go mad in the Oct/Nov/Dec period, which happens to coincide with the time the girls' school conducts all its parent engagement activities. Doubly busy.

Anyway, this year, due to planning and preparations for the Osaka trip, I am a little behind on buying gifts...

Ganbatte.........

Hmm.....cousins

It is strange.

I see the cousins on my mother's side at least twice each year. More often than I get to see the cousins on my father's side of the family. But I feel closer to the ones on my father's side.

Why ah?

Is it the Peranakan-ness that bonds us more? Or the fact that our grannies were very close as sisters? And hence the bond flowed down the generations?....Or maybe the fact that our lifestyles and the way we were brought up were more similar? Or maybe we're just more easy-going people? Maybe I feel closer to them because they are all much older than me?

Duck. Yum.

We had a 2-table dinner at Majestic Restaurant yesterday to celebrate EeMa turning 80 years old.
The Marina One branch, not the Gardens by the Bay branch.

Food was mostly good.

There was one dish that was interesting and stood out to me. I'm not a duck lover. I don't go for it actually. Not a fan of roast duck too.

But yesterday's Roasted Irish Silver Hill duck was really quite nice.

It's nickname is apparently the Wagyu of Duck.

I ended up researching about it online today haha....
Glad to have been introduced to it! Maybe we could order it for K's family's CNY celebration...hmm...

Grouchy old woman

Irksome. 

The Coll irked me this morning.

And then one of her staff as well. 

Ugh. Irksome.

I admit. I am irritable. 

There are some folks out there, thankfully 1 or 2 only, whom I cannot speak to without feeling irritated. I try to minimise any sort of interaction with them. 

One such person is The Coll's staff, one particular lady who got off with me on the wrong foot in her first week here.

A case of 八字不合 maybe?

Or maybe my mind and heart are getting smaller. 

I am turning into a grouchy old woman. 

Realisation of the Day

Nadya's social life seems busier than mine. lol....

Yum Yum

People are treating me meals recently lol..I don't know why! The stars aligned and somehow I am receiving lovely treats. Many thanks and I truly appreciate it...

Could have been one more treat except I managed to intercept early and treated the person instead lol. It was Eddie...we ended up squabbling at the cashier and were shoving our cards in the cashier's face. :D

Love at 50

There has been rumours about my current boss and my ex-colleague for a long time already. Since 11 years back when I first joined the organisation. Back then, my boss was actually in another department and was stationed in Brunei for a couple of years.

Back then he was married and in the midst of a divorce. My ex-colleague, who was then already a divorcee, was apparently the third party...and since then, on and off, there has been rumours about them two. 

Fast forward to 2015. My boss was posted back to Singapore and took up a new position. He came over to my department to head it! Since he came back to Singapore, there has been sightings of them both in various places and shopping centres...

In mid-2017, my ex-colleague left our department. 

In recent months, my boss has been more blatant about their relationship...he even brought her along on an official trip. I happened to chance upon their photos when the meeting organiser posted photos of the event on their FB page. 

And today...this morning...after dropping the kids off, I bumped right smack into them at Paya Lebar MRT station. 

I've kind of already accepted that they were together since a long time back even though my ex-colleague kept denying it. 

I think they should just be open about it. :) Afterall, he has been divorced for so long already....it doesn't really matter anymore. 

They are both in their 50s. I wonder...how does love and being in a relationship feel when you're at that age? Is it more of a companionship thingy? Or there's still that passion and excitedness involved? Much like when we were in our teens...

Are there still late night phone conversations? Or late night back and forth text messaging? Are there still giggles and cuddles at that age? Do people still hold hands at that age? Will my boss and ex-colleague get married or are they just content with how things are right now? 

Chesty Peanut

Peanut's cough has lingered on for too long. 3 weeks or more maybe? Over Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, it seemed to have gotten worse again. She just finished a dose of antibiotics!

She slept very badly on Tuesday night. She was coughing every few seconds through the night and I was overjoyed whenever she managed to have a long stretch of sleep for an hour plus or so.

We brought her to the PD again on Wednesday morning. Although he heard nothing in her lungs, he suggested we do an Xray to be sure. Especially since we'd tried all sorts of medication and even a dose of antibiotics.

And so....it turns out that she's got mild bronchitis i.e. some phlegm in her lungs.

She's now put on another round of antibiotics, a different type from the one given previously.

My poor Peanut...真的是吃药长大 sigh....
Get well soon sweetie...it hurts Mama to see you cough so badly...
And yes, you must really get well soon ya...Mama looks worse than a panda these days...
(Concealer's my new best friend)

Session with Starcrash

Starcrash..aka Chloe!

Had dinner with her last night and it was a good session. :)

I told her "It always feels very nice to catch up with you." And I meant it from the bottom of my heart!

She said that she liked how we always just seamlessly pick things up from where we left off, even if it was a few years ago when we last met one-on-one.

Congratulations on your upcoming gal! I shall see a gorgeous you on that day!
And I know things are sketchy and uncertain at the moment but I believe things will pan out well and smoothly with you guys eventually!....

Of crocheting and Granny....

Once I successfully crochet a coaster using normal yarn...I want to start learning how to make doilies. 

Back to being Granny's girl...

Granny used to do some simple doilies when I was young and in primary school. I couldn't yet handle those at that point in time and so she only taught me basic crochet stitches and how to make a pouch. By the time I grew older and could probably master doilie-making tecniques, she was getting old and her fingers would not cooperate with her anymore. By then, she'd also stopped sewing her own blouses and even simple things like fixing buttons. I'd also been more occupied with friends and school and didn't learn it from her.....

Come to think of it, my mum didn't teach me much sewing, I think I learnt most things from Granny. Even my basic cross-stitch skills were taught by Granny....

Now that I've picked up my crochet needles again (and bought new ones of different sizes too), I can't help but remember some of those special moments with her when she taught me all these things....

Guess some of these crafts remind me of her alot. 

Laoniang is still sick

Went to the doc again on Saturday morning. Another clinic.
Was told my throat had pus near the left tonsil....i.e. a throat infection had developed.
Was put on antibiotics and given medicated lozenges. Was also given something for the congested nose and Fluimucil for the phelgm.

Still feeling under the weather but I think I'm on the mend already....slowly but surely....
At least I don't feel that feverish anymore...

Jiayou jiayou....