Mama

We celebrated Granny's Chinese birthday today. It's her actual Chinese birthday - the 4th day of the lunar new year.

We gather each year at my aunt's place for lohei and potluck. And this year was no exception of course.

She's 96 this year if you're counting her age the Chinese way. And she's 95 if you're counting it in the Western way.

I don't know if she's had a happy fulfilling life. It's not up for me to say and only she herself can pass that verdict.

She led a harsh life all the way till her 30s or 40s...From being treated like a servant by her mum in a strict, traditional and matriachal Peranakan family. To having lost her husband in the Second World War after having been married for only less than a year and being heavily pregnant at the time. To having to give birth to my father in a tentage amidst the chaos of war in November 1942. To having to struggle to make ends meet and bring up 3 kids all by herself. To having lost her eldest son in a car accident just a few days after he turned 21.....

But I think the Gods have also blessed her and helped her from time to time.

Her late husband's sworn brother helped her out alot during the war and when she was bringing up the kids. All 3 kids grew up to be smart and filial and all became teachers, which was a much coveted for, well-paid and respected job during the 1960s. She's lived long enough to have 5 great-grandchildren now. And though the clarity of her mind comes and goes, she still has fond memories of all those years long gone and of all those people whom she once knew.

I told her this once "I love you Granny". I think it was last year. She just giggled at me and shushed me lol. It was one of her good days where she was quick of mind and was very chatty too haha.

She's been rather subdued lately and also quite confused. She kept calling my brother my father's name today.

I hope she cheers up soon and finds her spritely old self again.