Was on half day PM leave to go karaoke with the sec sch folks. It's been 5 years since we had a k-session and we had wanted to relive that. I'm usually suay like that. Murphy's Law has happened to me on countless occasions I've gotten used to it. The school called just when we finished lunch. Peanut was having a fever. Ok, I told the school, I'm on my way there to get her.
...thoughts about whether we should still put her in infant care. Why is she falling sick so so so often? Is her delay in walking a direct result of her falling sick so often?
...would it be possible if I took no-pay leave for a period of time to watch her at home? How would that impact her own growth and mental/emotional/physical development? I'm not the best teacher around and I'm a lazy mother when it comes to educating my kids academically.
...would we have enough money if I took no-pay leave? Why do we need so much money in the first place? Do I need a change in lifestyle?
...is the house "unclean"? Is the fengshui not good for my family, especially the kids? Do I need to do something about it? What can I do???
...is the house "unclean"? Is the fengshui not good for my family, especially the kids? Do I need to do something about it? What can I do???
...I'm already a social recluse. Even my rare day out with friends was cut short to just a lunch.
...find myself getting more socially awkward. Age has brought me more awkwardness or maybe I am just more aware and do not wish to waste time on small talk and people who don't matter much.
...I'm not an ambitious person. That said, while I don't wish to race to the top or climb up the ladder quickly, I would still appreciate having a small team to look after. Even a 1-member team would be nice. At least I'd get the chance to learn more about people development and management.
...I'm supposed to be practicing mindfulness and calming the mind. But here I am letting my thoughts run amok in my mind. Not quite the person making an effort here. I'm so lax.
...Self-doubt. Self-honesty. Self-exploration. Seeking understanding and awareness. Or just badgering around like a blind mole?
...my fitness plan to allocate every Wed late afternoon to start exercising has been all scuppered. I've only gone for one session so far. And that was a mini trial/test session to force myself to wear my running shoes and exercise attire and at least get on the treadmill. But family committments and looking after sick kids last wed and this wed as well...I just can't find a chance to do something. Help.
...hope my eyes are ok...floater in the right eye is buggering me. The recent eye infection has also given me quite a scare. Anything to do with her eyes make me queasy. Except eye makeup. Heh.
...randomness
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