Enigma

Had dinner with Enigma just now...And he just sent me this SMS...
Wah...touched...lol...

Share more with me your insights into things ok?
Tho you claim to be emotional and cranky at times, but I think you are way cool~!
I totally value your inputs...Nitez

Awww....
To receive this so late at night really warms the heart haha...

Hope he settles his issues...

And darn, I still can't seem to speak French as easily as he does.....
Though I studied more than him..argh!! No fair! hahaha

type type away!!!

I am MSN happy today...
I think I spoke to close to 8 or 9 people today...and well, it kept my mind busy in the freaking cold office...
Wonderful wonderful wonderful~!!!

Chloe made me grin real wide..Blurry made me spout lots of cuss words..
Danny & Sal helped me in my work..amid some gossips here and there haha...
And others well...they simply made a mark on my day.. haha

I hope tomorrow and the rest of the year will be like that...:)

Where The Hell Is Matt?

Not sure if I have shared this before...
I saw it early this year..but it was a shorter version...
Apparently now Matt has visited 42 countries...and here's the longer more updated video of his travels..:)

If you noticed some similarities between this and the latest Visa adverts playing in the cinemas...that's cos they hired him to do the adverty...at least, that's what I heard...:)

Enjoy the video...love the accompanying music..It's actually an Indian song..
The best part is...He was on our tiny island too!! Check it out somewhere near 3:37.
P/s: lots of his vids on youtube...

ACK!!!

• can't concentrate
• "down" for more than 2 weeks
• constant feelings of sadness
• loss of energy, feeling tired despite lack of activities
• change in sleeping patterns
• restlessness or slowing down
• decreased ability to make decisions or concentrate
• feelings of hopelessness

The above are symptoms of drepression....
Fuck, it's freaking me out!!!! Cos I think I'm experiencing some of those symptoms leh!!!
At least 4 or 5 of them...hmm...

Shucks....errrr....!!!!

Pitter Patter

I sit alone
In the dark
The only illumination
This screen gives

I hear pitter patter
Again
Of my heart?
Of the rain outside?

I don't know

It is cold
Everything is cold
To the touch
My heart is cold?

I don't know

There is a hum
A subtle one
From my heart?
Or the comp processor?

I don't know

Blank is the soul
Weak is the flesh
Tired is the mind
Disoriented is everything

Pitter patter

Love
Affection
Trust
Faith

Pitter patter

Of years past
Of years to come
Of hopes dashed
Of wishes unfulfilled

Pitter patter

Steps taken
Steps to be taken
I cannot
Go alone

Need
Affirmation
Touch
Emotion

I cannot
Go alone

I don't know

Pitter patter

Womaniser - Britney Spears

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXjvUYMps3w
First listen = Cheesy
Second listen = This is kinda nice actually
Third listen = Okay, I think I like this
Fourth listen = Okay, I love this song!!!

And this brings to mind something I have always thought: 99% of men are jerks.
Lyrics as follows:

========

Superstar
Where you from, how's it going?
I know you
Gotta clue, what you're doing?
You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here

But I know what you are, what you are, baby
Look at you
Gettin' more than just a re-up
Baby, you
Got all the puppets with their strings up
Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em
I know what you are, what you are, baby

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer
Oh womanizer oh, you are a womanizer baby you you you are you you you are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
You got me, baby
You're oh so charming, honey
But I cant do it
Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
You say I'm crazy
I got you crazy
You're nothing but a womanizer

Daddy-O
You got the swagger of a champion
Too bad for you
You just can't find the right companion
I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard
It could be easy who you are, but that's just who you are, baby

Lollipop
Must mistake me as a sucker
To think that I
Would be a victim not another
Say it, play it how you wanna
But no way I'm ever gonna fall for you, never you, baby

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer
Ohwomanizer oh, you are a womanizer baby you you you areyou you you are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
You got me, baby
You're oh so charming, honey
But I cant do it
Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
You say I'm crazy
I got you crazy
You're nothing but a womanizer

Maybe if we both lived in a different world
It would be all good, and maybe I could be ya girl
But I can't 'cause we don't

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer
Oh womanizer oh, you are a womanizer baby you you you areyou you you are
Womanizer, womanizer, Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, uh uh
I know just what you are ah ah
You got me, baby
You're oh so charming, honey
But I cant do it
Womanizer

Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
You say I'm crazy
I got you crazy
You're nothing but a womanizer

Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ah
Boy dont try to front, ah ah
I know just what you are ah ahWomanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer ohwomanizer oh, you are a womanizer baby

Reve - to dream

I've not dreamt for a few weeks or maybe more than a month.

And I had 2 dreams last night, each with a different male lead.

And well, let's not go into the degree of dampness of each dream.

Let's just say Dream #1 was saddening and quite emotionally disturbing.

And Dream #2 was slightly shocking and unsettling but had a ring of excitement to it...

Gosh...hope I won't dream of anymore stuff tonight... haha....

Happy Xmas - The War Is Over

Zouk...the evergreen...rock on big sister...for the next 20 years

Zouk was on the menu on Sunday night...

And to sum it up, it was my downfall on Monday.

Was stuck in bed the whole day cos I was queasy and well, couldn't stomach anything at all...

Verdict = I lost almost 2kg

Scary but true...so well, abstain from alcohol I will....

(cross my fingers...I hope I adhere to it..

I seem to have heard it fro my mouth before..hmmm mm......)

The whole group of us who went that night...

TH is one head taller than me meh..Hmm mm...fishy...
Pq on the left, Yin Yin on the right...and yours truly in the centre...

PQ with me (and my big mouth and big teeth)...

The first thing I noticed when I saw this pic was my mouth and teeth hahha...

And hmm..I think my phone's camera ain't that bad afterall hahaha...;p

Random

Thought-stopping and keeping your mind busy on other things

Really helps!

==============

I'm hooked on "Little Nonya"

Darn..you'll find me sitting in front of the TV at 9pm at night haha...

I just wish Granny could watch it..

She'll probably be sleeping in her cot by 830pm though...

==============

Ally, I didn't forget about blading...

Just need to find the time to pop by Pasir Ris Park to find out the rates...

Maybe this Sunday...

==============

I completely forgot about getting Il Divo's 4th album..

Maybe tomorrow I'll sneak off after lunch to go buy...

Will try to make it for lunch with the rest of the peeps tomorrow since I'm feeling much better now...I've not eaten with them for the past few days liao!!

Miss them!!

好无奈

糟糕，怎么我比以前更加忧愁？

到底要怎样才能让自己心情开朗多一些？

哎呀真烦。。。好无奈。。

近四五个星期心情好差。。

头头是烦考试和私事。。后来又不知道在气什么。。

希望只是一个阶段。。或者只是“大姨妈"还未到。。

Xmas

Christmas used to be one of my favourite time of the year..
Since last year though, it has sort of lost its dazzle for me…

I am beginning to find buying presents a chore. Unfortunately.
From what was a simple affair of just enjoying each others’ company has morphed into a massive gift exchange of sorts….

I buy for you, you buy for me, they buy for us, we buy for them.

And yes, I lament. Yet again.

Crappy Last Quarter of 2008

The song goes “Wake Me Up When September Ends” by GreenDay.
July, August and September went by in a blur. And when September ended.
Things took a slower turn.

The song goes “October Song” by Amy Winehouse.
Things were alright...but a really bad cough took the icing out of everything.
The month ended on a low note…

The song goes “November Rain” by GunsNRoses.
November was f*cked up for most part of the month. Enough said.

The song goes “December 4th” by Jay-Z.
I hope it’ll turn out well. Though the 1st week is already showing some signs of crappiness.

J'espere que des choses changeront etre mieux...
Je ne me sens bien et je veux sens mieux...

Ccccooooollllllldddddd

Il est tres froid dans le bureau pendant quelques jours…
Je ne me sens mes doigts...Brrr…
C’est comme l’hiver dans Singapour…Brrr…

For several days, it's been very cold in the office...
I can't feel my own fingers....Brrr....
It's like winter in Singapore....Brrr....

Alison's Wedding - 15 Nov 08

Voila..the long overdue pics..

I've not been very diligent at blogging over the last couple of months..oh well.

Am just amazed that I can keep something going for so long....

When I first started this, it was just a way of venting and ranting.

Till now it still is at times..and maybe more.

Till now, 3.5 years later..Woot..

Ok anyway, pics pics pics...

As what XiaoBai would say...Auntie pls put up pics...

The jiemeis..for the clueless peeps who wonder who is the PQ whom I sometimes mention...

She's the lass on the right..the one with the wavy hair..

And the breakfast we had for the xiongdis...

Complete with fibre-rich and absolutely refreshing bittergourd juice...

I think I don't need to introduce lah hor? haha..Alison the bride of course.

No, I don't have a foot fetish. But yes, the shoe is gorgeous.

And yes, the nails are meticulously gorgeous too...lol.

Final pic before we move off to um, take more pics???

Another group pic at the Sengkang Riverside Park...

Ok, I put this up for purely vain reasons...Cos I think I look quite interesting here. :p

Thought I looked a little non-Chinese..hmm mm...hehe

A kwa is guaranteed to make any girl look L-O-V-E-L-Y
And of course R-A-D-I-A-N-T haha!!

And then the night activities began....
Eugene & me in the cab to the hotel..We were the emcees for the night..
Lol, just found out recently from both PQ & Ally that errr..I was "fierce" and "stiff" during the emcee-ing..
Bleah..bopian leh..nervous leh..and my face is naturally grouchy hahhaa...;p

See the height disparity??
I'm in 3.5-inch heels and he's still a head taller...

Me & PQ before the dinner...

Me & Ally before the dinner...

And last but not least...

My fav pic from the whole event! haha...

It's horrifying..But I suddenly realised.

I don't think I took any pics with just the 3 of us in it.

Hmm mm...or did we? Just that it's not in my camera??

Hmm mm.....

A Question for Me

Bro Kel: What do you want for December?

Me: November was a bad month for me….so….I want love and affection in December.

zzz...

Back to work yesterday.

zzz.

========

The medication I'm supposed to be taking for my stuffed nose is wreaking havoc on me.

He gave me a 3week dosage.

1 pill alone makes me drowsy for 3/4 of the day...and I take it only at night...

Hmm, how to tahan?... haha...

========

I have a very short fuse for the last 2-3 months.

Need to change...but am finding it very hard to.

Hmm....

*tsk*...the uncouth me....

Scott *> says:
bye bye

~shell~ ...新的一天，新的希望， 我怀念的... says:
(chee) bye bye~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~shell~ ...新的一天，新的希望， 我怀念的... says:
hahahhahahahha

Scott *> says:
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Scott *> says:
tmr i wash ur mouth

~shell~ ...新的一天，新的希望， 我怀念的... says:
yes, with milo

~shell~ ...新的一天，新的希望， 我怀念的... says:
hahaha

=================
Ok lah, I only act this way with people who can tahan it hahaha.....;p
Is that enough of a disclaimer?? ;p

My Monday & Prison Break

Insolitement, je suis plus calme aujourd'hui, le jour avant de l'examen Delf A2.
Mais je pense que demain, comme toujours, j'aurai le tracs...

Hehe, je joue une heure pour chaque trente minutes j'etudie!!

I am unusually calm the day before the French exam Delf A2. Lol...
But I think I'll freak out tomorrow just before the paper...as always...

I spent an hour playing for every half an hour I studied I think.. haha..

==============
I think I've never taken leave to study before hahha....;p

==============
And yes, I'm a slow starter...I just started watching Prison Break Season 1 today...
Oh well, wanted to watch it last time but I somehow didn't get started on it...
Till yesterday when Ahboy & Kel were gushing over the show and over how pretty the male lead's eyes were...

So well, that was my motivation hahahaha....Am gonna watch episode 2 later on...

The only thing is, the streaming is darn slow on Youku, Sina and Tudou...MedaVideo went bonkers on me and well, some other sites were just not working haha...
I shall contend with the Chinese sites then and watch the show with Chinese subtitles..
At least I should be thankful they're not dubbed in Mandarin haha...;p

Unless someone has other "watch-free-video" sites to recommend me?

Class 95

Listening to Class 95's BPM now.

BPMs are on Saturday nights...

"Beats Per Minute"

Very very good dance songs.

From old hits to pop song remixes to hip hop remixes..

WOO HOO....

Always gets me going...

Am already bopping to the beats...some of the remixes are pretty good..nothing too cheesy...

Add a glass of vodka to the picture and I think I'll be dancing like a mad cow in my room

Yeah, maybe I should do just that...

That half bottle of vodka is still sitting in my cupboard..

Hmm..parce que..

Je suis un peu fatiguee.

Je ne sais pas pourquoi je me sens comme ca.

Je ne me sens bien pendant deja deux semaines.

C'est ne pas bien du tout.

Je dois travailler dur. Oui, je dois penser les choses heureux.

Et je dois etre fort.

The Boozy Days

Cravings for alcohol marked my days over the last two weeks..
IT's not been long since alcohol flowed through the bloodstream.
But I still had cravings for it.

I didn't pay heed to it till the Thursday just past. At Timbre. With Daniel & Yanling.
2 lychee martinis and 1 pint of Erdinger.
Not alot though. Since the next day was a working day.

Friday was spent with Ally & PQ at Cafe Iguana...
Had the equivalent of a jug of margarita. Sad to say, it wasn't enough.

Am looking forward to getting high on 7 Dec.
We have a Zouk date. Wonderful...me, PQ & TH.

I wanna dance dance dance.
I wanna throw everything one side and just drink and dance.

And I need my Long Island. I can almost taste it on my tongue already.

Voila. 7 Decembre.
Nous aurons une fois tres tres bien.
J'ai besoin d'echapper de boulot quotidien.

C'est tres deprime...

It's very depressing...
To read the papers nowadays.

Gloom and doom on 95% of the pages.

Bangkok protestors - Mumbai bombings - Senseless killings - Recession - Big banks falling apart - Governments screaming At each other - Aids - Rise of terrorism - Mother Earth getting weaker by the day - People losing jobs - Animals getting extinct

You get the drift.

Is the world coming to an end within the next 50 years?

I hope I won't be around to see it.

Inspiration for All

Ever since my dad learnt how to use email and I created an account for him, he and his retire bunch of friends have been sending each other those mass email jokes and stories now and then.
He sent me this link to this video on Friday and I subsequently sent it out to some of the office folks...

Whether it's working with you have, or living life as it is..
Striving for what you want, or having a can-do attitude...
I'm sure each of us can learn one or two things from the lady featured in the video...

p/s: you don't need to understand Mandarin to understand what's going on..

Office Action

You know when it's the end of the year and things just get into a lull in the office...
Everyone's listless and restless and just wanting some action...
Hehe..and oh yah, when the boss is not around...
Things like these happen...

Me and Jane...and errr HC's fingers...

The two ladies again

3 of us...;p

With HC acting like a total idiot... hahaa...

P/S: That's a Herman Miller chair I'm on...ergonomically crafted for the best comfort...:)

Mr YanDaoKia

Just read YDK's blog..after close to 3 months plu sof not reading hhaa..

That goondu actually went to Taiwan!! To take part in a Mister International contest!
Check out his blog here www.yandaokia.blogspot.com for pics of the event...

Oh and of course, for pics of the contestants...some yummy, some gay looking and well, some err, not quite suitable hahah..

Proud of him! Woot!

*pant*

Went for a run before dinner just now..
I love running on a night when the rains were pouring in the afternoon.
It makes the air more crisp, more dewy and generally more fresh..
My lungs get more fuel and I generally run better on such days...

But oh well, inconsistency and laziness makes this monkey a flabby and out of shape one..
I skipped running the whole of last week cos I was not in the mood..and the mind was elsewhere thinking about other things...

I ran twice the week before...I shall make it twice or more this week..

The only thing is that my right bunion is starting to be a little irritating..
It was aching a little just now after the jog...Hmm...
Hope it doesn't stay...

transient thoughts...

Mr Bull has got his transfer approved..
He'll be moving onto another division soon and probably won't be on the same floor as me anymore..:(

==========
I feel as if I've slipped into a quicksand pool...
I'm sinking..and attempts made to get out work for only awhile...
Before I get sucked in again...

Hmm...I need alot more work to get out.
I hate it when I get this way.
I know not myself..

It's been a few weeks and it's getting unhealthy.

=========
Ok, back to work for me...

MC

MC Day today.

Not technically sick.

But fragments of the cough from October is still lingering on.

Kena nagged by mum for the past 2 weeks to go Polyclinic and get a referral to see a specialist and have my lungs x-rayed.

And so voila, today is the day.

Spent close to 2 hours in the polyclinic settling this.

Come to think of it, the last time I went to the poly was like 5-6 years ago..

Anyway, am back home liao..

Porlly gonna study a little French, do some mock-exam questions.

And then head for a nap...

Thursday is the day to see the specialist. Afternoon appointment.

SGH again.

Wow!

OMG.

Guns N' Roses have a new album called "Chinese Democracy".

How cool is that man?

20 years on and Axl Rose is still rocking!!!

Tried looking for recent pics of Slash but couldn't really find any.

Wonder if his hair is still as big since he left GnR close to 10 years ago...

Broke as I am.

I think I might take a trip to the CD store tomorrow to check this album out.

As well as Il Divo's 4th album...

MUACKSS..MUACKSS..MUACKSS

Lovely lovely lovely...:)

phone clinic

Ok.

I am back to using my old E65 phone.

At least for the next one week or more.

My new phone 6600 slide...

Which happens to be less than 2 monthsw old...

Has been sent to the Nokia clinic.

There's no sound at all when there're incoming calls or SMS-es.

Argh.

>:(

I wanna go Italy and Switzerland too....

Seeing those architecturally challenging buildings, those renaissance fresco art....

those gondolas, those lakes, those snow-capped mountains...

those pebbled streets, those pasta, those beer, those wine, those chocolates....

I am officially JEALOUS.

Nah, that sounds negative.

I am GREEN WITH ENVY.

Yeah, that sounds a little better....

Check out Kym & XL's photoblog of their recent honeymoon...

To where?

Italy and Switzerland of course...:)

www.italiasuisse.blogspot.com

*breathe in, breathe out*

Take a few deep abdominal breaths to calm yourself down.

That was one of the anger management techniques I learnt that day in a half day seminar.

It's not working on me. Not at all. Zilch.

Either that or I really have anger management problems.

Or is it the case of when you have a really anal colleague (by this I mean THE COLL), whatever anger management techniques in the world will not help at all?

If this goes on, I'll age 2 years in the next 6 months.

The Commonality of Names

Quaint little shop somewhere on the 2nd or 3rd floor of Far East Plaza...

Mixed supplies shop under a block of flats next to Kallang MRT station.

They were carrying this brand of supplies...

From scotch tape to torchlights to metal push pins..

Haa..Saw it and had to take it down to show Ally next time...

Little Sunflower...

A bus ride home after a day's work can be a weary thing.

Maybe someone thought to brighten other peoples' day.

By having a pretty little sunflower right at the bus exit.

Placed in the bin for used tickets.

Saw this last week on my feeder bus...

Ice Cold Beer.

14 November 2008.

With Mr & Mrs Koh.

Back from their honeymoon in Italy and Switzerland.

Unglam.

When you get chirpy after some drinks.

And find that you shouldn't trust your friends with your camera. Lol.

The voluptuous beer lady poster on the wall behind me makes for a better focal point.

Big Head and Small Head again. After some Asahis.

Xingli with her newly cropped hair. Gorgeousness

Makes me wonder if I should lop off my hair as well.

Waiting. Attendre. III

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For the break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

Angel - Sarah McLachlan

Waiting. Attendre. II

Asleep at 115am.

Awake at 2:15am.

Darkness. Blackness. Greyness.

Thoughts running.

Mind is spinning.

Spinning out of control.

The body turns. Flips. Shifts.

The mind keeps running.

Eyes open. Eyes close.

Darkness. Blackness. Greyness.

Shapes. Shadows. Stillness.

A car's engine growls by.

Fading.

Restless. Disturbed. Frustrated.

The heart pumps.

Echoes of it in the eardrums.

Thump thump.

Waiting.

For the elusive peace of sleep.

It hides. Doesn't come.

The house creaks.

Sounds of the night.

The dark is more alive than you think.

Darkness. Blackness. Greyness.

Waiting.

The mind still runs.

Echoes of thoughts.

Slivers of restlessness.

Permeate every cell in the body.

3:00am.

Get up. Walk. Pace.

Living room. TV.

Alone in the dark.

Colours. Shades. Voices.

Distorted images.

Chills. Ghostly Breeze.

Waiting. For fatigue to come.

The mind runs on.

Thoughts. Staccato. Broken.

In the room again.

4:00am.

Restlessness still.

Darkness is laughing.

Mocking.

Haven't you found what you're looking for?

4:30am.

Waiting.

Darkness. Blackness. Greyness.

4:45am.

Waiting.
Darkness. Blackness. Greyness.

5:00am.

5:30am

Waiting. Attendre.

Saturday evening. Vivocity.

It was a long and frustrating wait for him to arrive.

Slightly more than one hour.

I don't enjoy waiting for others for so long.

A time has been set, stick to it.

Why bother putting a time in the first place?

And "go shopping" is not always a way to brush me off.

I hate crowds. I dislike swarms of people milling about this way and that.

It makes me giddy and disoriented.

The noise gets to me and I get distracted and irritable.

And "go shopping" on Saturday evenings is not a likeable option.

Not when you have a big bag of textbooks, a dictionary, a water bottle and some notes.

I did what a lonely frustrated woman would do in such a circumstance.

I found a seat.

In a relatively quiet place.

The steps leading to the Harbourfront MRT station.

Pathetic perhaps.

But it's a reprieve from the chaos inside the mall.

And I had fresh air to breathe in.
Plus I had a rubbish bin for company.

Nice and quiet.

Sarah Mc Lachlan's "Angel" (sung live in concert) lasts for about 5minutes 49seconds.
It was on repeat mode.
I listened to it for at least 10 times or maybe 11 times or even 12 before he appeared.

free the mind

I dislike it when people assume all public service personnel are super free.
I don't know about those in ministries but I think those in statutory boards do work hard.

There are always busy and lull periods, much akin to private organisations.

It doesn't mean that public service personnel = sibei free.

Sigh, the world, societies and cultures will never be rid of stereotypes and generalisations.

Oh yes, and who made me launch this mini tirade? None other than one of my ex-bosses whom I met this morning. Go figure. Where else have I worked in that is also based in Suntec?
Gave him my opinions and he just gave a wry smile...

My parting shot as usual was "Don't smoke so much"....
Purpleskies should know this..ha.

More About English

Lest I repeat the same booboo the last time round...Let me clarify, I got this off an email.. :)

============
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is UP.

It's easy tounderstand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP. To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for my time is UP, so -- it is time to shut UP!

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

Closed off from love

I didn't need the pain

Once or twice was enough

And it was all in vain

Time starts to pass

Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened

For the very first time with you

My heart melted into the ground

Found something true

And everyone's looking 'round

Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they don't know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein

That I keep on closing

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear

But they talk so loud

Their piercing sounds fill my ears

Try to fill me with doubt

Yet I know that their goal

Is to keep me from falling

Hey, yeah!

But nothing's greater

Than the rush that comes with your embrace

And in this world of loneliness I see your face

Yet everyone around me

Thinks that I'm going crazy

Maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they don't know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein

That I keep on closing

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open

And it's draining all of me

Oh they find it hard to believe

I'll be wearing these scars

For everyone to see

I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they don't know the truth

My heart's crippled by the pain

That I keep all closed in

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding

I keep, keep bleeding love

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

Keep, keep bleeding love

Of Blades

Hope to embark on blading lessons soon with Ally...
Been talking about learning for ages...

There'll be wrath from parents if they find out.

But...fuck it.

I need to do things for myself sometimes.

Class 95FM

I don't usually listen to CLass 95 in the mornings.

I made an exception today because I needed some energy and music to distract me, to soothe me, to calm me, to blah blah blah...

Else the emotionally unstable me might just flood my cubicle area with salty tears haha.
I think the monthly cycle is fast approaching and seriously doing loads of bullshit to my nerves.

And so Glenn and FD did a good job in putting smiles on my face.. :)

Of Friendships

It’s been an emotional few weeks. There’ll be stuff I won’t mention.

And then there are the stuff which everyone feels in one way or another but some won’t take the effort to rectify things. Maybe ‘rectify’ is a wrong word to use. ‘Improve’ might be a better choice.

I’ve known Ally & PQ for like 15 years. We friggin like grew up together, explored fashion and cosmetics together, studied together, hung out together, pontang together, yada yada...And then the usual thing happens: we grow up, we go to different schools, we develop different perspectives and priorities in life, we end up in very different environments, we get to know new people and make new friends, we start working in different places, you get the drift…

Things change, people change. And I guess, it did dawn on me that I was a piece of plywood which broke off from the main pile and I was being carried away by the currents. But the grey matter I carry in my head doesn’t seem to work well in such situations. I didn’t really know what to do and so I did what most complain queens would do. I lamented, I was frustrated, I was somewhat upset and disappointed, I was a little jaded BUT I didn’t do anything constructive about it. I just let things run on its own.

Till I received a lashing out from PQ in mid 2006. At least I think it was then. It was a miserable time, big tiff with wm, followed by tiff with PQ. But it was a wake-up call of sorts. I ‘d been too preoccupied with wm and work and other stuff..I’d neglected my best buds and well, there was no excuse for that…

But I’m glad that such ties, once there, are always there...We all just have to work harder to polish it a little here and there to keep things in tip top condition…A little more time, a little more effort here and there does make a difference.

I sent Ally an SMS yday…”Ally..luv u! I’ve never said it before...” Lol...I think she went like “huh???” cos it was so out of the blue.. haha.

I’ll endeavour yah to keep things going stronger…I will. :)

From Michelle to Michelle

I opened my mailbox this morning to find an email...

Sent from myself to myself...with the Subject Title of "Cheer Up"

And I went like huh??? The email messgae went to read on as:

Bubbly greetings from the Email Server...I live in the machiinnnneeee.....wwooooo!!

It must be HC!!!!
Trust these technical folks to spoof your email address and manipulate the email server to do such a thing.... hahahaa..

But it brought a smile to my face..:)

Thanks HC for everything and for being so sensitive haha...

Guan Yin Temple & Breko & Contacts

Am on half day today..so I went to Guan Yin Temple to pray after I left office.

Been a long time since I went back there. So I thought I'd better make some prayers and offerings before the year closes. I didn't expect myself to stay there for close to 30minutes as it's usually a pray, offer, leave kind of thing.

I kneeled on the prayer floor today and prayed to Guan Yin. It's always surreal when you "talk" to her amidst all the noise surrounding you but yet you feel like you're alone there and speaking to her.

I felt tears well up and tried to control to no avail...some tears escaped from the lids of my eyes..
I didn't feel at peace after praying...but I prayed that I would get some peace and directions soon. The heart is heavy and messed up at this point in time and it's a very distracting thing.

=======
Sat at Breko for a late lunch of a Salmon Salad at 230pm.
Studied French there for the next 1h40mins before leaving shortly after 4pm to head back Tampines.

Salad was disappointing but the Earl Grey tea was good.

=======
Contact lenses. A year's supply just set me back by $200.
Sigh. Maybe I should really consider Lasik as a long-term measure...

The morning

Spoke to PQ on the phone for an hour just now..She knows now.
Walked out of office at 1020am and sat downstairs in front of the taxi stand to talk to her.
I think countless taxi drivers and some passers-by saw my tears.

A mad woman wearing an IDA jacket, in a pair of unglam office slippers, sitting by the taxi stand crying and talking into the phone.

The talk didn't really help cos it's something I need to settle on my own. But it was still good to have someone on the other end of the line hearing you out. I only grabbed a piece of tissue when I made my way downstairs after she called me. So I had to go to Coffee Bean to get a serviette to use. Abit "lang bei".

Went back to my seat and in less than 5 minutes it started to rain. Lagi "lang bei". Had to go into the building and find a corner to stand & talk to her.

Things just ain't going my way.

From an Email...

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife : ' Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes ! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he hurts you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you ! '

His wife responds : ' He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.

He told me that he's gay, and he thinks you're cute. He asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. You be strong, honey. I love you, too. '

Nobody Knows.

I hope this period tides over soon.

I hope things get settled.

And I hope everything will turn out okay.

Nobody knows. Only me and my shadow.

Everytime a step forward is taken, something happens to make it 2 steps back.

I am tired. I don't know what to expect anymore.

Losing faith is one thing. Losing trust is another.

I pray for strength and guidance and directions.

For I know not what to do nor what to expect anymore.

@#$#$&^(*&(&^*(^%

I just cleared $2,500 in insurance fees.

I was charged $90 for a 5-min consultation with the heart specialist today for my annual check-up at the National Heart Centre.

I will be charged $350 for a scan I'm slated to go for next week.

There's two weddings coming up for two close friends. Read: BIG ang pows are inevitable.

Nabeh.

I will be spending my whole month's salary and more...in the month of November.

They better not cut my pay in light of the recession. Else I'll cuss even more.

Alma Mater

HC, Rich & I went to NTU today for a meeting. We were looking for attachment students for our company.

It was a sight to behold.
Lol...It's been officially about 6.5 years since I went back to Canteen B..
Some stalls are different, some the same. Seats looked the same but there were nicer walls and some areas had nicer seats..

What puzzled me the most was the crowd.
I expected more chio bus as would the Buiness girls usually be. I expected more locals.

But all I saw was PRCs...hordes of them.
Maybe it's the school hols already hmm mmm....Dunno.

We had to cut through some tutorial rooms..Brought back not very happy memories though haha.

We had to climb up a bloody flight of stairs to get to the Student Affairs Office.

Wah lau. After 6 yers, I'd already forgotten how climbing those stairs was.
Or how hilly NTU can be. I was in pointy pumps. Low heels but the hike up the hilly terrain was still not very welcoming. haha...

It was nice. Very nice to drive past Chinese Heritage Centre, to go past Hall One and to see a girl wearing a Hall One T-Shirt...
Felt like asking her if they had an extra Hall One Tee for me hhaa...
It was nice seeing my old Lecture theatre...now happily renamed as Lee Kong Chian Theatre..

But most of all, it was nice sitting in Canteen B.
Taking in the air, taking in the sight of students writing notes and rushing some assignments.
It was nice drinking teh-o that cost $0.30. Where the hell can you find those prices outside of schools??
It was nice seeing the tables where I used to study at till the wee hours of the morning.

Memories...:)

Year In Year Out

A little sunny smile!
A little beam!
A little cheer!
Things are moving forward and I'm mighty glad.
Time to focus.
Time to think.
Time to plan for the year ahead.
Priorities, mission, vision, values, GOALS.
Been thinking on and off though not too much as yet
As my main focus is now on the upcoming exams and "the issue".
The man and I each bought a little horoscope book yesterday.

Dragon for him and Monkey for me.
We've only taken a short glance through,
But so far 2009 seems good with stars shining bright in certain months.
Career seems excellent and that is a comforting thought.
More to come at the end of the year,
When concrete plans and objectives and GOALS will be made!!

Le Discussion est Fini...Au Moins Pour Actuellement

The discussion is over, at least for now...

The issue was brought up for discussion yesterday..
With the parents..
I've been a ball of nerves for the past week or so
And I'm really glad the discussion is over

It went well...Cos the man has top-notch speaking skills.
Something which I sorely lack.
And which I cannot seem to be able to brush up on..

Guess I'm still someone who expresses better in writing or thoughts..
Try to translate that into words and it just gets the tongue entangled..

It will be a busy time ahead...
Trying at times, happy at times and perhaps also frustrating at times as well.

*keeps fingers crossed*
May everything go smoothly...:)

Danny boy and the shell

It has been a few days since I laughed out loud and had a bounce to my step…
The dinner with Daniel helped quite abit…
We were crapping about things and he was updating me with his stuff…both work & personal
It felt so sisterly actually lol…

I totally heart Daniel~!! hhaa..my bitching and crapping partner!!

Aerin’s at Raffles City is my new favourite place for meals…Cosy, with lighting just dim enough to make you feel a tad light-headed.

He was the only one whom I shared my recent stresses with. And I was mighty glad he had his ears for me last night. :)

I was the usual goofy furball during lunch today. Running & jumping around..laughing at the lunch table, picking on others and vice versa.

Come to think of it, I miss the cheerful side of me!
May this side of me rear its head more often! haha

Opps!!!! Part 2

Opps!

This lil fella brought a huge smile to my face today...:)

Jazzy Jazz

I have been going home with Jamie in the past few days...
Jamie Cullum that is...
It's been months since I've actively listened to his songs...
From the "Twentysomething" CD he launched in 2004.

Anyway, with the rainy, dreamy cool weather
It's nice listening to the likes of Elaine Elias, Michael Buble, Diana Krall, and Jamie Cullum...

Jazzy jazzy days ahead...