precious moments

I had a medical check-up at SGH yesterday afternoon and it so happened that my Dad had his eye check-up as well. My mum was with him too and so we all met up for some tea before going home.

It’s times like these I treasure. Carefree and intimate moments with my dear and loved ones. Fully immersed in the moment and fully committed to the presence of the each other’s company. Much talk, much laughter. Some nagging (which is expected when you’re dealing with aging parents haha).

They were so sweet and sent me home by cab after that.

I love my laobeh and laobu. :)

prep talk

More adventurous and challenging times ahead. :)

Getting more emo the last few days and trying valiantly to keep a more balanced state of mind.

(Can't believe I bawled so much while watching a 10-minute SEA games infomercial on Fandi Ahmad's life story yesterday evening. -_-'')

So anyway, here's to keeping our heads up!
Onward we go and onward we charge!

Ganbatte!

Bah

Friggin hormones are out of whack. 

Just bawled my eyes out cos I was feeling a little miserable. 

Feeling like a petty 2-year old who is throwing a tantrum over something trivial. Bah. 

Snippets

Upset over something.

Consider it an invasion of privacy? 

Was too shocked and flustered to say anything at the point in time. The person did apologise.

Now feeling the annoyance and irritation at the incident. 

If you could have the initiative to apologise to me without me even saying anything, that means you knew it was not right to do what you did. And if you knew it was wrong in the first place, then why do it?

We had an agreement and an arrangement to do it in a different manner but you didn't follow instructions. Sigh. 

===========

Went home in the afternoon because I wasn't feeling well. Hit by sudden nausea and slight wooziness around 3pm. Retched in the ladies several times but didn't vomit. 

Caught a cab home and crashed into bed. But some neighbours' kids were playing downstairs and I think I only managed a sort of semi-sleep for an hour. 

===========

Need to stock up my fridge and food cupboard again. Opened them this evening and was underwhelmed by the available stuff to cook a quick dinner. 

Ended up with macaroni and sausages. Not a healthy meal but suffice to end my hunger pangs and provide me with much needed sugar in the body. 

People around me know that I get easily lethargic and "lembeh" when I lack food. 

===========

With each passing day I fall more and more in love with Little Baby. 

Love it when she grins at me 

Love it when she hugs me

Love it when she needs me and calls for me

Love it when she hugs my leg like as if I'm her tree

Love it when she pats me

Love it when she looks for me if I disappear from her 2m radius 

Love it when she runs to me

Love it when she offers to feed me her food

Love it when she falls in a heap into my lap

Love it when she snuggles her head against the nook of my shoulder.

Love it when she grabs me tightly and squeezes my arms. 

Love it when we sit together on the floor to read her nursery rhyme book

Love it when she reaches for my hand when we're walking

Grow well Little Baby....not too fast not too slow, just enough for Dada and Mama to savour your babyhood.....

Bob Marley

For past weeks/months, if I felt the need to listen to any music while at work, it would either be Bruno Mars or some instrumental music from the Study Music Project (check Dennis Kuo out on YouTube, his compositions are good).

Today, for some weird reason unknown to myself, I decided to search for Bob Marley on YouTube and ended up listening to his greatest hits playlist.

And so here I am chilling, at 930am in the morning, nodding my head to his reggae beats from Buffalo Soldier, Three Little Birds, No Woman No Cry, etc....

I have to admit, I am not concentrating that well this morning.
I spent some time googling about Bob Marley and reading about his life. He lived a short life and passed away at the young age of 36. But in this short period of time, he'd touched the lives of millions of people and became one of the world's best-selling artiste ever. Amazing feat.

Aiyo.

Many keyboard warriors.

Several people making snide remarks about the recently announced budget on my FB feed. 

Some making outright complaints with cuss words like KNN, WTF, etc.

Why don’t you come up with constructive ideas instead of complaining and whining all the time? This is macroecons. Not some masak masak budget you do for your Accounts class. 

If you're so good and if you think you will be able to make better policies and strategies for moving the country forward as a whole, why don't you do so?

If you're not happy with anything and everything the government does, feel free to leave the country....

身在福中不知福。

Our government may not be perfect but it is one of the best in the world. Period.

jiayou

dealing with nincompoops early in the day.
after many days of break from office work.

stay cool.
stay calm.
stay zen.

sigh.

maybe

Maybe "office taiji" is really a survival skill, amongst others like "boot lic..." oh sorry I meant "relationship management", "knowing when to put yourself in the limelight" (whether you deserve it or not), "knowing when to duck below the radar" and "having thick skin".....

Hehe

This was several weeks ago when we brought her to the Marine Parade Library. Love this pic a lot haha.

"Quick! Dada's not looking! I shall see how this things tastes like!"

*chomp chomp chomp*

Her vocabulary

And so, besides Mama, Dada, Porpor, Yeye and Nainai....the following are the words she uses to communicate with us...

1. Opok or Obok - means "open". Mostly used when something's in a sealed box or plastic bag and she wants to get at it.

2. Poopoo - well...as the name suggests

3. Wark or Walk - pronounces it correctly sometimes

4. Meerk - means "milk". Most often used before bed or when she wakes in the morning or in the middle of the night.

5. Baobao or Baba as a short form - means "carry me". 

6. No more

7. More

8. Mum mum

9. Nana - sometimes this refers to herself and sometimes it is just a random sound she makes

10. Bar - means "bus"...she can't seem to make the "s" sound 

11. Tar - means "star", same thing that she cannot pronounce the "s"

12. Baabaa - means a particular black sheep featured in a nursery rhyme book or the song "Baa Baa Black Sheep"

13. Dog or Wou Wou - means "dog"

14. Ter - I think this means "water" but I need to observe her more. I've only heard her use this a handful of times.

15. Mar - I have yet to figure out what this means as she has only just started using this these couple of days. 

Thankful

For some reason, although my event is taking place in Singapore, people from overseas have been buying me meals. Some have given gifts for Little Baby as well. Maybe they feel they know her from my posts and pictures of her on FB lol.

Feeling really thankful and blessed. And grateful too!

Happy camper. :)

Get well soon little baby (and me)

Here we go again.

Doc says I have stomach flu. That was this afternoon.

And now it seems I have diarrhoea too. 

Not sure if the little girl passed it to me or I to her. 

God please let us heal soon! 

This Saturday is buah keluak making day, next week I have an important event and and and...CNY is coming too...

Bah....

Today is one of those days where at the end of the day, I feel like bawling my eyes out.

Not to say the day was without its high points. Just that the difficulties and challenges sort of outweighed the good stuff. 

On the more positive side of things, I managed to get a load of washing done and I managed to mend my torn skirt. 

Spent the day at home looking after the girl who wasn't feeling very well. Bad stomach and diarrhoea yesterday. Her diarrhoea was not so persistent but her distension and general stomach discomfort was very much present, judging by her stickiness to me. Practically carried her the entire day. 

So here I am now at night, with sore arms and back, groggy with my own medication and having bad indigestion. I feel like puking. Bah. 

breathe.

working.

with the school calling me every now and then to update me that Little Baby is pooping watery stool.

working. (or trying to)

with the boss coming over every now and then to ask me things or discuss stuff.

working. (or trying to)

with a team member asking me every now and then how to do this and that.

working. (or trying to)

with someone from the ministry on my back chasing me for something.

feeling abit pekchek.

called people. no one is picking my call.

more pekchek

有时候

有时候有些事心放宽一点

有时候有些事还是少说

有时候有些事收在心里比较好

有时候有些事就别去想

有时候有些事...

starting the green stuff again....

I dragged K and Little Baby out on Sunday afternoon. We popped by Katong Flower Shop for about an hour. And I came back with 3 new pots of plants and other paraphernalia.

Little Baby slept early that night and I managed to get the opportunity to do some simple gardening in the balcony. Glad K brought me to the nursery to get all those things. It's been a very long time since I managed to do any potting about in the balcony.

Not that it's my own balcony that I'm fiddling around in, it feels even nicer...

Current projects:
(1) Try to keep all my pots healthy. One or two of them which I bough a few months back when we first shifted in are showing signs of not doing well..I hope they survive!

(2) Propagate my Bowles' mint and African Violet.

My colleague's Venue flytrap is a young plant and is currently only doing so-so...he said once it gets stronger he might be able to get me a leaf to propagate...hehe. I'll be excited if that day really comes. Always wanted one but it's a challenge to find bugs and flies to feed it...

Little Baby

She's growing fast. Wishing sometimes that she could slow down a little and let us savour her toddlerhood and babyhood  more.

She's speaking more now.

Dada. Mama. Yeye (my FIL). Por por (my mum). Ball. Bird. Cow. Flower. Poo Poo. Shoe. Park (means carpark). Tah (means star).

And she understands a lot more words and sentences, and she can also understand 2-step instructions like "Pick up the ball and bring it to Mama". 

My favourite game with her is the "Where?" game. 

Good way to distract and sometimes it offers me a way to get her off my back when she is too clingy. 

"Where is doggy?" That's her soft toy.

"Where is your waterbottle?"

"Where is Winnie the Pooh?" Another soft toy. 

"Where is Dada?" Go find Dada. 

"Where is your bolster?"

And she toddles off to go find these things. Sometimes she gets distracted along the way and sits down to play with whatever it was that she chanced upon. Sometimes she really does go find these things. 

Somehow the first shape she has learned to recognise is the star. Not a square or circle or oval or triangle. But a star. And she clasps her fingers repeatedly when she sees a star in a book. That is her hand signal for the song "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". 

She is getting cheekier too. She knows I would get miffed if she spits out her food and so she sometimes does it. Slowly. She would spit out a little and I'd wipe it off. Apparently she would keep food in her mouth and after I wipe her, she would spit out the rest in installments. Again and again. Till I find something else to distract her. 

Baking

Worked from home today. 

And decided to give baking a shot again when I had some time in the afternoon. (Actually it was more like I was too xian to work. I thank my boss and company for this flexibility). 

I made muffins on Saturday but they (especially the surface) turned out quite hard. I called them biscuits instead.

Today's muffins were much better and I actually enjoyed the choc chip ones. They could still be better though. Another time, I'll try again. 

Fashion

She picked this outfit yesterday when we wanted to head out. Well, at least the pants and shoes.

Not that matching and a little obiang. 

She's still a baby though haha. Let's hope she gets more colour coordinated and develops more finesse in aesthetics and fashion next time! 😜

The Coll

As a manager, who has staff reporting to you, shouldn't you lead by example?
You penalise them when they head out for lunch because they are not supposed to as they are on afternoon leave.

And yet, you do it yourself. Not once, not twice but on several occasions.

Where's the integrity? Super double standard lor........
The more I see these things, the more I lose my respect for you......

Nadya at 15 Months

And so Little Baby is turning 15mths old on 9 Jan 2015. What's her stats now?

Weight: 9.4-9.5kg (70-75% percentile)

Length: 75-77cm (around 50th percentile)

Teeth: 2 stubby lower front incisors and 2 stubby upper front incisors (all are stubby because they seem to grow out halfway and just stop there)

Mongoloid marks: The one on her right shoulder is faint but still visible.

Motor Skills

• She gets up on her own now to walk and is walking quite steadily. She does not bother to see where she is going though and barges through anything and everything and thus falls over quite often. Either that or she gets excited and walks faster than her feet can handle and trips over herself lol.
• She has discovered the twisting motion and is twisting the caps off pens, and my makeup pens...She has also discovered how to tap down on click pens...(my bedsheet has several pen marks now because K gave her a pen to play with zzzzz...)

Cognitive/Emotional Development

• She is still throwing a hissy fit when you take something away from her or when you don't give her what she wants.
• She can get pretty stubborn sometimes.
• Sometimes refuses to let me hold her hand when she's walking (but I need to on some occasions especially when she's on a tarred road or at the carpark)

Communication/Social Skills 

• She is not waving so freely anymore. :( Upsetting to see. Maybe she has learned that since people (strangers) are not so forthcoming with waves and smiles, she probably should not waste time extending such pleasantries to them. I noticed this trend since a few weeks back...
• Sticks to me like glue when with other people she is not familiar with. Takes a long time to warm up. I hope this is just a phase.
• Babbling alot more with intonations. 
• She can say the words "Ba-Bye" to mean bye bye. It used to be "BaBa" to mean bye bye. She can also say "bird", "ball", "mama", "dada" and "yeye". Her favourite word seems to be "ball". 
• Recently likes to say "WHOA!" 
• Understands alot more questions and words now. "What does a dog say?" and her response would be "wou wou" or "woof woof". "What does a cow say?" and her response would be "moo" or "moo moo". 
• If she is in the cot, she knows to stop whatever she is doing and lie down on her back with her head on the pillow when she sees me approaching with a bottle of milk.

Food

• She fell sick with diarrhoea and a bad stomach the week before Christmas 2014 and was eating poorly. She's fully recovered now and is eating with a vengeance haha. I am always happy to see her eating and finishing up her food.
• New foods that she's tried in the last 1 to 2 months:
• small bits of my tomato sauce pasta
• cake
• home-made banana pancakes
• the burger bun of a filet-o'-fish hamburger
• McDonald's hotcakes (minus the sweet syrup) 
• grouper fish
• salmon
• threadfin
• tomato
• corn
• oats 

1001 Things

*breathe*

Many things. Each with its own numerous nitty gritty sub-tasks.
Many timelines to adhere to. More schedules to plan out.
And many many small things to track.

My to-do list with its tasks and sub-tasks and sub-pointers for each sub-task is getting very long.

Have tried delegating some things out but technically I don't have any staff below me and there is only that much I can delegate out. 

Super stretched with many things which were not in my original job scope being thrown to me.

*breathe*

If I don't get my High Achiever status and good bonus this year I am going to......

I dunno.....

.......

...

Pluck the boss' hair out???

He better appreciate what I am doing because I am handling a very big piece of one of his work items for him.

Goodbye?

Friends since 1994. You were my senior in secondary school. We were both prefects, we were in the same Art Club and you had a crush on my good friend as well.

You graduated first and I graduated 2 years after you. We kept in touch for the longest time after we both left our school, albeit on and off.

I remember there was once I even crept out of my house in the middle of the night (at the risk of incurring the wrath of my parents) to meet you at my void deck because you were crying your heart out over a break-up.

We last met in 2011 when you popped by my office area. We had kopi at Yakun.

In 2012, I invited you and your wife to my wedding. You took a long time to reply me but said you would be there. And then on the very day itself, you cancelled on me. You said you had to work at the last minute. It was a Sunday, I understand because you do shift work. I was upset but I understand too if you were busy and all you could do to inform me was to send an SMS. I would even understand if you told me afterwards that it was because your wife didn't like me and hence didn't allow you to attend my wedding.

But then after that you went MIA. No calls, no SMSes, nothing. Since then, every time your birthday rolled around, I would send an SMS greeting to you. I received no reply both in 2013 and 2014 when I wished you. I reached out a few times in between, dropping you an SMS each time to ask how are things. No replies.

Over time I didn't even know if you had changed your number. You were dormant on Facebook as well. I was wondering what went wrong? How were you? How were things between you and your wife? And your cats too...

I knew you were still around though. You "liked" one of Little Baby's photos I posted up on Facebook the day she was born. A silent "like" I could easily have missed seeing.

I was busy for much of 2014 but at the back of my mind, I often wondered how did our friendship deteriorate suddenly a few years back? There was no pre-empt, no warning sign, no major quarrel or blow-up. And I think neither of us did anything stupid to warrant a sudden downward dip in our friendship.

I was perplexed. I had half a mind to not salvage our friendship anymore and let it spiral out of existence. Many a time I told myself to let it go. But I decided to reach out to you again. I dropped you a Facebook message a few weeks back to ask how are you. No reply again.

Your birthday was on 3 Jan and I dropped you a Whatsapp message to wish you. Surprise surpise.
You replied and thanked me for my well-wishes. I did not expect that and was hence somewhat surprised.

I asked after you. A simple 2-liner message.

You read it. Whatsapp shows 2 little blue ticks when the recipient receives and reads the message.

You did not reply again.

Sometimes, there is no point pursuing what is not meant to be, especially when the other party does not reciprocate.

A 2-decade old friendship. I tried.

Maybe it is time I give up and let things go.

Feeling

Indignant

Work that I've done behind the scenes has been claimed credit by my boss and another lazy asshole in Sri Lanka. 

Like WTF? I spend time and effort and someone else takes the credit while I remain anonymous to the community.

Exasperated

Even if you want to claim credit at least make sure that the document you send out is of some standard lah! Take my work and morph it into something sub-par and then send it out to so many people. *MEGA facepalm*

Resigned 

What else can I do? 

Wet hair

不认老也不行了...

I wash my hair everyday at night. And I used to go to sleep with wet hair when I was in my 20s. It was only in the last 4-5 years that I started blow drying my hair. 

These days, if I go more than 2 days of sleeping with wet hair, I get a bad headache. 

Was busy the last few days and could only shower late in the night after settling chores and the little girl. Got too sleepy and lazy to even blow dry my hair...flopped into bed with dripping hair...

And so...today the sides of my head hurt. 

活该, 自找的...

2014 in some simple stats

1. Went a whole year with nary a single facial, manicure or pedicure done. 
2. 2014 is the first year in more than a decade that I did not exit the country a single time. *jaw drop* I did not even step foot in Batam or Bintan or Johor. 
3. This is the year I was at my heaviest at 53kg (sans baby) since more than a decade ago. 
4. 2014 marks the first time ever that I have a debt, specifically, a $1million debt. 
5. I went to the GP more than 15 times in 2014 for various ailments.
6. I spent the most on online shopping. (I did not tally my expenditure. I did not want to shock myself.)
7. I spent the most on cab rides. 

Goodbye 2014.

When 2013 was ending, I thought 2014 and I would be good friends. It turned out otherwise. We had a love-hate relationship.

2014 was a challenging year. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Many peaks and troughs. Not sure if tumultuous would be the right word to describe it. Maybe eventful would be a more apt word.

2014 was when my:

• patience was stretched
• limits were breached
• emotions were tested thoroughly 
• determination and perseverance were tried
• ego took many beatings 
• self-doubt was over-taking me

Why do I say it was a love-hate relationship with 2014? 

Because with all the above, 2014 was also the year that I experienced:

• unconditional love and support from K, family and friends
• growth, in all senses of the word
• the widening of my horizon
• realisation, understanding and some clarity 
• the love a mother has for her child

And for these I am thankful.

It's been an eventful year. Not very good, not very bad, but eventful. 

May 2015 bring greater things. And may everyone around me stay healthy, happy and blessed always.

May God bless the little girl too. That she grows up healthy, happy and strong.  May she be guai guai and listen to her parents too.

And so it is...

Life in snippets

• I'm doing better though my stomach is still in a queasy and fragile state. 
• Little baby is doing better as well. Her appetite is back, she is drinking milk like nobody's business and she seems to be pooping normal poo.
• We brought little baby to the PD at least 4 times till the nurses there are on good terms with us.
• K on the other hand was doing better but was suddenly hit by gut issues again on Sunday. I hope he gets well soon enough. 
• I lost 2kg over the last 5 days or so. 

• There are just some work matters that I can't seem to get started on. They are important but...I have no affinity with them...bah.
• I need to wake the gardening side of me up again. It's been dormant for very long..all but one of my terrariums have withered away at my inlaws place, including one gorgeous one I did earlier this year...:(
• I should get started on the herb growing kit K got for me too...:)  

• The pile of clothes that need ironing is growing organically on a corner of our sofa.
• Little baby has been drooling and licking or sucking on her fingers and smearing them all over the balcony doors of most of the rooms...I've resigned to this fact and have stopped cleaning the doors that much now....hence, the ugly glass doors with finger prints and palm prints and lip prints and tongue smears....

Shitty (literally)

And so I spent Xmas night running to the toilet 6-7 times in 3 hours, and counting. Stomach feels a mess too. 

A trip to the doctor's tomorrow is a must.

In the meantime, I shall try to sleep. 

Sigh...

Queasy and lethargic

How I've been feeling since 2 days ago. Hope my stomach gets well soon. 

*pant*

It's been a somewhat rough and tough past 1.5 weeks.

- K came down with a bad bout of stomach flu and was purging from the top and bottom. 

- Not sure who spread to whom but N had diarrhoea too. She is still having it actually. Sigh, quite worrying 

- I had the runs too. And these 2 days my stomach has been feeling extremely queasy. I've not been eating much too. 

- Had to rush out various pieces of work. There's been many little little things to do and settle. I've had to list them down in my to do list lest they fall through the cracks somewhere. 

- It was a mad rush to settle Xmas presents and wrap them up 

香香

Just started using the Xmas gift I got for myself. :) quite fragrant. 

diet?

I've put on almost 2 kg in around 5 months.

Despite doing more household chores.

But I think the main culprint is my food intake.

After we shifted to our own place, we've on and off been experimenting with food and cooking our own meals. And for a period of time we were ordering in our meals as well...And also on and off for several weekends, we've had guests coming over as well, which meant more ordering in of meals.....

Xmas time now, hard to resist the good food that is around.

Maybe soon though it will be time for a diet....?

Hmm.

Herb garden

K got this for me last Friday when he popped by NTUC Finest. (Love this man!) 

I have yet to get it started but once I do, I hope the seeds germinate properly! 

Zombie

It was a tough night with me spending almost 1h30mins from 4am to 530am trying to get her to go back to sleep after she woke....and then finally ending up on the sofa with her sleeping on top of me. (I was desperate.)

In any case, I am a zombie today. Totally unproductive. Been drafting a memo since morning. I should have finished it before lunch time and it is now already 3pm.

3 more hours to go before end of the workday. An hour of bus ride and then another 3 more hours of mom duties. Good luck to me.

jiayou....

Oh the horror

When you discover that instead of writing "put my neck on the line"....

I wrote "put my head on the line" in the email.....which had already been sent out.....

Bah.....Boo....

It was supposed to be a strongly worded email.

That has now turned into a mini farce.

Parents

Spoke to my mum earlier this afternoon.

My parents are getting old. In the past week, Dad went for 2 check-ups, one for his eyes and the other for his heart. Both didn't go as well as we'd expected.

He has slight cataracts but the doctor said this was not much of an issue. His left eye is now showing early signs of glaucoma and he needs to be put on medication. Eye drops twice a day. My grandmother had the same issue and the doctor said it might be due to family history. (Now I'm worried for myself, sigh.)

And Dad's old heart condition is showing signs of coming back. He had gone for an operation back in 2009 (or was it 2010). It was an operation that scared us out of our wits because his lungs collapsed during that procedure. As a result for several weeks or maybe a month of two after that he had to be hooked up to a breathing machine while he was convalescing at home.

The reading's 8% now. As in the condition is back by 8% and Dad has to be put back on his heart medication again.

I hope he is feeling ok. I hope he won't get too affected by these 2 pieces of news.

I know I felt worried and bad when I heard about it.

Mum doesn't want me to broach the topic with Dad for fear of making him depressed. So I can only let off my own worries and concerns here.

I'll need to call Adrian later.

Going forward, maybe we might need to help out in their marketing and household chores too...or maybe hire a helper for them....Remains to be seen but I'm sure the day will eventually come....

我们的父母亲都老了...

*tearing*

Singapura

I spent some time reading about the history of Singapore this morning. Not the usual history we know of like how Sir Stamford Raffles came by in 1819 and the Japanese Occupation, etc.

But the history of Singapore right from the beginning in 1299 when Sang Nila Utama first established his presence on the island and then built his city up.

Singapore, or rather Singapura, once had 5 kings and was a part of Melaka. It was also a strong political and trading outpost in the 14th century.

Very interesting read.
Too much to share here. The following URL captures all of it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_of_Singapura

We're reaching year end already...

It's almost mid December 2014 already. How time flies. We've reached year end.
And year end always brings a tinge of nostalgia and reminiscence in the air. 

For a long long time I did not set resolutions for the year ahead but I did jot down goals and areas of focus I thought I should strive towards. I did not write down any for this year as well but had some idea of it at the back of my mind, including (i) taking care of Little Baby well, (ii) managing well my relationships with K, family, friends, (iii) re-adjusting back to work well and (iv) managing my own health well.

I can't say I did everything super duper. I tried. Sometimes I try hard, sometimes I think I didn't try hard enough. Whatever it is, on the whole, I think I still did okay.

2014 stands out for me. It is probably one of the years that would stick out significantly in my memory when I take a look back next time.

It was a year with more ups and downs than usual. (I know I said the same thing at the end of 2013 lol...) And it was also a year where life-changing events occurred and where my comfort zone was breached and where I had to learn new things and venture abit more out of my safe zone.

1. Little Baby
Of course the little girl would feature prominently. She's brought K & I so much happiness and love. Sometimes I hug her and smother her with so much kisses that she swats my face away or tries to squirm away lol. Sometimes I look at her and my heart fills with so much love that I didn't think it was possible to feel that way. And of course, in balance, she's brought us a certain measure of frustration too, especially when she got older and started to have a mind of her own. Both K & I are walking zombies too. While we might still have some residual differences here and there with K's parents when it comes to looking after her, I'm glad that things are way more stable and peaceful compared to when she was just born.

2. Our Own Home
K & I officially got our own place in January this year. We signed the deed, and got our home loan all within a few weeks. It was pretty overwhelming for me. I dislike having to deal with financial figures, and all the legalistic proceedings. The process of getting our home included all of that and more so yeah, I was quite overwhelmed haha.

We shifted in officially on 31 July 2014 as a family of 3, though K slept over for a night on 25 July, which was meant as a symbolic gesture that we shifted in before the Lunar 7th month. We took some time to settle down, what with unpacking and taking care of the little girl and cleaning up the place properly. Our routines changed again but I'm glad to say that things are more or less settled down by now. It's just that some of our things (or at least mine) are still in boxes...and some are still over at my inlaws' place.

One thing I realised. I had to lower my standards and learn to close one eye when it came to the level of cleanliness and tidiness of the home. There's only that much we could do while concurrently juggling work and the little girl. I admit I pressured myself too much in the initial few months and well...stressed myself out quite abit.

3. Granny
Granny left us to be with the Lord on 11 April 2014. That was the first time I had ever seen my Dad cry. Till now, I can't go without tearing up a little whenever I think of her (which can be quite often sometimes). They say time heals. Yes, I'll move on, and I'll learn to manage but I guess I won't forget...

4.Work
Work was manageable when I went back to it after almost 5 months of maternity leave. It was the transition and the rush back from work to go home and look after the little girl that got to me. What can I say? Many others have done it before me and I can't complain too much. Just bite the bullet and move on. I can only blame myself that I have a sheltered ass and led too comfortable a life before little baby came along.

The boss was hostile to me for a period of time in April when I told him I would not be travelling for work for at least a year due to little baby being well....still little. He flared up. He gave me the cold shoulder. At the times he had to speak to me, he did so in a gruff manner and with brows furrowed so deeply they joined together in the centre. I felt awful but I kept going. What choice did I have? It was little baby vs the boss. Of course I had to choose little baby. He's a father of two himself, he should understand. Things eventually went back to normal slowly after he simmered down and after I worked hard at my work items. By end May or mid June, he went back to how he was last time when he was on good terms with me.

The Journey: Tumultuous Times

It's been a long while since a Channel 8 drama touched my heart in such a way.

The Journey: Tumultuous Times is currently showing on Channel 8 at the 9pm slot. While I can't watch it real time on TV, I watch the catch-up video on XINMSN while I am on the bus to work the next morning.

The show is set in the 1940s through to the 1950s, in Malaya and Singapore.This happens to be a period of time that I am very interested in, maybe because I'd heard so much about this period of time from my late grandmother and sometimes from my father when I was a young girl. I remember the "Price of Peace" was one of the epic dramas produced by the then TCS and everyone was riveted by the show. My grandmother kept cursing at the Japanese and cried on several occasions while watching the show because she reminded of the hardship she had to endure during those years. But still, she watched every episode religiously. It was during that time too that she shared many stories with me about the Japanese and life during the war and just after.

Maybe that's one reason why I am loving Tumultuous Times so much. Because it is of an era I am interested in and the show reminds me of my grandmother and those days when we watched "Price of Peace" together.

I am so loving the sets, the scenes, the props and the interactions between the actors in this show. Speaking of actors, I think Mediacorp scored big on finding Carrie Wong. She is a true gem and a talent with a natural flair for acting. In her first show she was already put alongside Christopher Lee and Rui En and she did good. Now in only her second show, she's paired with Shaun Chen and Jeanette Aw, veterans in their own right, and she has performed well. Very meaty roles for a relatively unknown newbie. I like her. She's only 20 but seems like a seasoned actor already. She'll go far.

And yes, Shaun Chen. This show affirms my liking for him as an actor. He's proven to critics that he can do both good and baddie roles, he can do drama, he can do action and he has some comedic flair as well. He's come a long way from being known as "Michelle Chia's boyfriend" then to "Michelle Chia's husband" and now finally people know him by his own name.

Romeo Tan. The name is cheesy yes, and he is a newbie who has his own critics and fans alike. I read online reviews of the show and people don't seem to like him. Why? I think he's not too bad. He plays a baddie in the show, disguised as a decent guy from the upper class. Given the fact that people dislike his character in the show and him as a result (an unfortunate consequence I might add), I think he has done well already and achieved his acting objective of being the baddie. I say he's succeeded!

Looking forward to the rest of the show..!

Miss Clumsy

As usual, I had no idea how I got the cut. :(

Having a good start

I read once in Malcolm Gladwell's book (can't remember which one) that having a priviledged childhood is a precursor to having a great start in life and hence the probability of doing well in adulthood is all the more greater. 

Someone from some of my marketing classes is now the franchise owner of Sticky Singapore, and in recent years has also opened a Korean restaurant and now a restaurant bar in Tan Quee LAN Street. Kudos to her and her husband! While I attended her wedding 7 years ago, we've not really kept in touch since...except for one short chat in 2008. Lol to think she used to skip tutorials and lectures and sometimes would borrow my notes to copy. She was a master at "smoking" and could talk her way out of anything. Yep she's from a well-to-do family. 

One guy from our Marketing cohort is the founder of Reebonz. Yep, he's from quite a rich family. 

Another friend from my hostel days is the owner of a restaurant cafe in Yong Siak Street. And yep, she's from a well-to-do family as well. 

Of course, I don't dismiss the fact that people from less well-to-do families can do just as well. 

Thanksgiving

We should give thanks always I suppose.

Right now, I am most thankful for God protecting Little Baby and keeping her safe, despite the careless (and dangerous) mistakes that I've made thus far...

Add Oil

Last few days wasn't that good. Let's hope this week will be better.
Jiayou...

Buy buy buy!

This is what happens when you haven't shopped properly in a mall for over a year. Maybe even 1.5years. 

You end up spending $1,000 in 4.5 hours. 

Macham ”被放出来” haha...

I'm just glad I met all my objectives of this shopping trip (except one which I forgot about).

Amongst the stuff I got:

- 14mths supply of contact lenses

- 2 dresses

- 4 pairs of casual footwear

- 1 pair of shoes for work

- 4 tops for work

- A pair of shoes for Little Baby 

- Some educational stuff for Little Baby

- Some clothes and other knick knacks for Little Baby

- Some Xmas presents for Adrian, relatives and friends 

Before heading out I told myself, don't think too much, just buy to your heart's content. It's something I don't usually do so today was out of the ordinary haha. 

I set myself a time limit because I wanted to go home and rest before having to go pick Little Baby up from my inlaws' place. 

If I had the strength (I was carrying loads of shopping bags!) and more time, I think I would have easily spent another 200 more...

Ok that's it. Enough shopping to last me for the next 10mths lol. 

And oh ya I forgot to buy a water bottle for her...it was on my list but I missed it out....

Parenting

Different parents have different approaches to parenting. This I know. I just find some parenting styles odd and well...maybe a little disturbing.

I recently had some interaction with a lady who has 2 sons, aged 3 and 1.5. During our interaction, she proudly proclaimed to me: "Baby number 2 is 1.5yrs old already, I have never showered him before. The maid does that. I don't know how much milk he takes and at what intervals. The maid settles those. The same went for number one. Well, my main (and only) responsibility is to give birth, that's all." 

"我只是负责生孩子而已。" Those were the exact words she said. 

There was a previous situation end of last year. K and I were out with this lady and her husband at a restaurant when their number 2 needed a diaper change. The husband went to settle it and she proclaimed "oh, I don't change diapers one!"

Like what? As a mum, I cannot fathom how uninvolved this lady is in the caring of her children and their upbringing. 

holding one's ground

Treat me nicely and I will treat you nicely. Just came out from a meeting.

The most senior woman in the meeting was aggressive/overly assertive towards me at certain points in time. I had to raise my voice as well as my own assertiveness slightly to get my points across to her. Her two staff were making eyes at each other and enjoying the exchange between herself and me. (It was me alone with the three of them.) I kept my smile on though at certain points in time I think I did not fare too well and had furrowed brows instead.

Oh well. Learning to hold my own ground. Did well earlier on but I think I can still do better.

Proud mama

For posterity, I need to blog this!

Little Baby took her first steps on 19 November 2014! At the age of 13 months 1 week and 3 days. :) 

The Little Sponge of a Baby

She is a sponge soaking up bits and pieces of info and knowledge. And somehow in the last few weeks something in her brain must have clicked into place and she's been on a roll since. Her vocabulary has increased a lot and our communications with her are more two-way now.

While she is still developing herself linguistically and can only babble most of the time (though she can say dada, baba , mama and nana), she understands quite a lot these days. A lot to me at least. She understands:

1. Where is [insert noun]? 

Nouns she knows are Daddy, Mummy (or dada and mama), gong gong, po po, ye ye, nai nai, doggy (her soft toy), doll doll (soft toy), rong rong (soft toy again), Winnie the Pooh (yes, soft toy too), bolster, tissue, water, home, car, dog, cat etc. When you ask her a "where is" question, she'll make the hand gesture for it too (hand at chest level then turn palm up with fingers spread apart). And when she spots the item or person you are asking about, she will point to it. When I stand at my lift lobby these days and ask her "where is home?", she can point in the general direction of our home. 

2. Throw the [insert item]

Not a good thing for her to understand though haha

3. Stand up/sit down 

When we are sitting down or lying down and she wants to be carried, I'll tell her to "stand up first" then mummy will "bao bao" you and she will get herself into a standing position ready to be carried lol. 

4. Blow kiss/flying kiss

5. Wave bye bye / Say hello / Say hi 

She will wave to the person or object when we say these phrases. She does this on her accord too. 

6. Press 

Many kids toys have buttons to press and all, if not most, of them either trigger a song or light up something. For some reason she understands the word "press". Maybe she picked it up in school. 

7. Kiss [insert name of someone]

I taught her this hehe and I want to claim credit. I think she's gotten sick of me asking her to kiss me that she is ignoring me now when I ask her to do it...:( 

8. Hold [object]

9. And other things....which I can't recall at this point in time....

Needless to say everytime she demonstrates an understanding of a word, instruction or concept, we get all surprised, delighted and excited at the same time haha. 

Here's to more surprises for us and to more learning for her! 

pressies for myself?

Bought myself some body lotion for myself for Xmas. I'm a little greedy.
I'm thinking of a pair of sneakers as well and maybe a black watch for myself if I can find the time to buy them....

Granny

In a flash, it's been 7 months 6 days since she left us.

I think of her everytime I sing songs and nursery rhymes to Little Baby, mainly because my earliest memory of Granny was of her singing songs to me while lying with me on our sofa in our old home in Bedok. I was around 3 or 4.

This is the first Christmas without her.

Thankful for

Been awhile since I last had a "thankful for" post. Here's one...

• My inlaws. They pick Little Baby up every day from Monday to Friday to bring her to school and then fetch her from school at the end of the day. And then they look after her for around 2hours before I manage to rush back from work to their place. They give her her daily intake of fruits as well...While sending Little Baby to school, along the way, they also drop K and I at each of our bus-stops. Without their "transport" K and I would have to walk pretty far out to our stops.
• My parents. For always being there. For always listening (Well, at least my Mum does haha. My Dad loses patience and gets distracted after awhile.) For always thinking about my brother and I and our families. Special shoutout to my mum: for always filling our tummies with our favourite foods.
• K. For always being there. And if he somehow can't, he will make up for it in his own ways. For always listening. For cooking lovely meals (with lovely food presentations to boot haha). For taking care of the harder menial chores at home. For working hard for our family. For just...being him....

Xmas is coming!

We've not given each other Xmas presents for a long time. But sweet K got me this for an advanced Xmas present this year. He must have seen the pathetic state of my current Creative earphones.

Never had such a good quality piece of audio equipment before. Kinda feel like I'm not fit for it lol. 

Thank you sayang...:)

 

sigh

累。想哭。纳闷。无奈。疲倦。

Souvenir from Columbia

I didn't buy anything for myself when I was in Cartagena, Columbia back in 2012. This time round, when Adrian went to Bogota, he got me this bag. My first reaction was "Wah so bright!" 

Nevertheless I was touched he bought it for me. 

Staycation

We had a mini staycation. A 2D1Nstay at Swissotel the Stamford. Friday till Saturday.

We brought the girl out to Suntec and Marina Square. I hope the sights and sounds were not too overwhelming for her. She managed to have her naps as usual. We kept to her daily schedule as closely as possible to minimise any disruptions. She slept on the king-sized bed, her first time haha.

She had her first bath in a bath tub! She didn't seem too impressed though and was more curious about the tap spewing water out than the huge bath tub itself.

And as usual we rushed through all our meals because she got fidgety after too long in a high-chair.
Still, I think the food at Podi and it's sister restaurant Cedele were good...Pity we had to rush through our food.

The staycation turned out more tiring than we expected though, especially with the little girl waking up and throwing a hissy fit at 1am till 2am on Friday night...um...Saturday morning to be exact.
Maybe it was a new environment, a new cot (we used the hotel's baby cot) or a bad dream or night terror?....

She was also cranky at lunch time on Saturday too and we had to wheel her around in her stroller to get her to open her mouth and feed.

Other than these she was pretty much a good girl. Cooing, smiling and playing and generally being awed by the lights and sights at the various malls.

Nadya at 13 months

And so Little Baby turned 13 months yesterday. What's her stats now?

Weight: 9.2kg (>50th percentile, I think she's maybe around the 60th percentile)

Length: 74cm (around 50th percentile)

Teeth: 1.5 lower front incisors (an upper incisor is just below the gum surface and about to break through already)

Mongoloid marks: Status quo. The one on her right shoulder is faint but still visible.

Motor Skills

• Her aiming has improved and whatever finger food I give her she can put it into her mouth directly. Previously she would sometimes try to feed her cheek instead.
• She's still cruising around but is learning to be more steady on her two feet without any support. When I encourage her to take the first step forward, she is excited and wants to try but doesn't dare. And she usually just ends up leaning her whole body forward and crashing into my arms haha.
• She zips around pretty quickly on the floor now while leopard-crawling, usually in gear 4 or so. Gets excited when she thinks we're chasing her and then goes into gear 5 with full throttle. 
• She can point.

Cognitive/Emotional Development

• She has learned to point and can ask for things now.
• She has learned to shake her head and will do so if she does not want whatever you are offering her. (Trying to teach her to nod her head...)
• Throws a hissy fit when you take something away from her or when you don't give her what she wants.
• Stil loves music and sways to it or bounces on her bottom when she hears her fav tune. She knows the action to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star now and will do it when she hears the song when we sing or play it on a toy.

Communication/Social Skills 

• She is still waving to everyone, even the neighbour opposite our balcony.
• She understands when we say "no" but no longer stops what she is doing. Seems like she is challenging and testing the boundaries. Sometimes when we insist on stopping whatever she is doing, she throws a mini tantrum by either crying or arching her back and flinging her head backwards (which can be dangerous if she's on the hard floor).
• She now understands many words and instructions including pointing out a cat in a particular book when I ask "Where's the cat?". She points to her ears when asked "Where are your ears?". 
• She understands "Kiss Mummy"! :) I received my first kiss of sorts from her on 5 Nov 2014. :) I was really excited when she responded that night.
• She is starting to recognise Gong Gong and Po Po (my parents) and is willing to sit and play with them more easily. (We go over to their place each Saturday evening)

Food

• Introduced mee sua and baby pasta to her. The baby pasta needs to be cooked till quite soft and mushy. I made the mistake of not cooking it till very soft on one occasion and had a nightmare feeding her at a mall that day. She started spitting out every mouthful I gave her. Big mess.
• Other new foods that she's tried in the last month include:
• more egg (ok not new but...oh well..)
• buttered rice (just some small nibbles)
• barramundi fish
• chye sim
• spinach 
• cabbage

Aiyoh

My love-hate relationship with cabs.

When I desperately need one, they are nowhere to be found. None around me and can't get through the booking hotlines.  

When I made a booking and am standing around waiting for it to arrive, a whole slew of at least 3-4 available cabs hang around in front of me. Bah...

Breathe

I saw this on a friend's Facebook and thought it was meaningful.
How often have we been in such situations?

"Breathe. You're going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you've been in this place before. You've been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you've survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can't break you. They're painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you'll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass." 

— Daniell Koepke