We are miles & miles & miles...away from a gracious society

Am wondering if I did something accidentally to my settings cos all my blogspot's account all in Chinese now..

Anyway, was extremely irritated by some of my fellow Singaporeans this afternoon.
Was at the NUH food court & the following scenes just irked the hell out of me.

1. Hordes of people looking around for seats. Yet there were a few tables of people who were there just sitting around and chatting, oblivious to the stares of hungry hippos who were looking for places to sit & eat. Some hapless chaps were even carrying trays and walking around trying to find seats.
Felt like knocking some sense into those table-hoggers. So much so for the word "initiative".

2. Order Yong Tau Foo for my lunch, wanted something light after my BBQ yesterday. The lady in front of me took her own sweet time to take her cutlery, prepare her soya sauce, chilli sauce, sweet sauce...
My food came for me and the lady after me. And she was still taking her time, causing a jam cos there was only space for one tray to be placed there to colelct our food...

3. Was carrying my soup back to my table when a dumb auntie bumped into me, causing my soup to spill a little. And my bowl rice almost slid off my tray.
No word of sorry. No word of acknowledgement. Not even a glance at me. And she just walked on. "What the fuck?" I muttered under my breath.

4. Was sitting at my table still eating while my dad went to get his dessert.
A few moments after my dad vacated the seat, someone took it away. I shouted at the person, saying that it's occupied. To which that guy put it back and said sorry. Ok, at least he apologised.
But ain't the basic courtesy to ask first before taking???
Funnily, I saw the same scene at another table a few minutes later.

5. Similarly, there were others who were looking for seats, and when they saw an empty seat at a table, they just dumped their tray on the table & sat down. Without even asking if the seat was already occupied or not.

6.Then there were some peeps who were waiting for others to finish their food. So they stood right over those poor sods eating their lunch. Staring at them eat, glaring at them eat. How uncourteous can you be?


And I'm talking about people ranging from their 20s to 60s...whom I saw today committing such deeds...
I was extremely irritated..more than rightly so...
Anyway, started the day on the wrong side of bed also.

But if you ask whether we have the essence to become a gracious society...
No, not in a long time to come...

......

Am going for my throat review tomorrow.
*crosses fingers* Hope I don't have to do the op...

Hmm..won't be going back office as well.
No motivation to work. Haa...tsk tsk..bad girl I know but what the heck..BOCHUP.

Shall spend the afternoon resting at home and maybe watch some DVDs or something.
Treat it like as if it were a Sunday afternoon...
Yeah, that's the plan.

Hmm..wonder where Ling & gang are going for BG's bday celebration on Saturday?
Venue's not been confirmed yet.

Counting down to Sunday..Biathlon day!
*silent support for my baby*
Will be there to greet him at the start and at the end...=)

Losing steam

The train chugs along
Slowly losing steam
Workers frantically dump more coal into its furnace
It helps
And the wheels roar into life again
But only for a short-lived while

It starts losing steam again
As its velocity grinds to almost half its usual speed
Chug-a-chug-chug
The wheels are feeling the strain
As each revolution takes place along the railtracks
Chug-a-chug-chug

The railtracks seem endless
Leading to nowhere in particular
Just going on and on
Far out into the horizon
Far out into the divide between night and day
Far out into come what may

And then I realise
I am that train
Chug-chug-chuggin' along
Move-move-movin' along
Who, what, where, when, why, how
Lose, losing, lost

my pri sch friend

Met up with Aik Beng on monday night for dinner & kopi.
That bugger's doing good man..even though he's in a temp job..think he's earning close to $4K a month!!!
With his comm & all...hmm...is selling conference & seminar seats that easy??

Been quite awhile since I last met him. Think it's been at least 1-over yrs ago.
Commented that my face looks puffier..haha...what an indirect way of putting things...

He's more outspoken now..I thikn the temp sales job has tweaked his personality abit.
His tongue's more glib now too. hahaa...and I must say he has interesting trains of thoughts & he is just such a positive guy...

Anway, he shared with me his music recordings too..
Self-recorded live unplugged, "sing & strum" versions of songs like Bizzare Love Triangle, the sond Adam Sandler sang in The Wedding Singer, Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin, Tong Hua, etc...
I think his voice has improved alot...he sounds pretty good!
In fact, some songs sound like as if he's a professional singer...

Wishing him all the best for his endeavours in OZ.
Wonder how long he'll be working there..if there's a chance, I'll go visit him in Sydney next time.
Can bunk in at his place & save $$...muahaha...and have a free tour guide too...hehe..

Vday

wtf? Is it me or is it me?
Just discovered that blogspot's webby today is all in Chinese??
Or is it a momentary lapse on their server? or mine??
*scratch head*

Anyway, here I am typing away...and the whole room's got a tinge of fragrance to it..
And it all but comes from a single stalk of rose...It's funny how just one stalk can produce so much fragrance...
He surprised me with it when we were about to drive home after our mini BBQ session haha...
Yeps, our mini BBQ session..the last time we had a 2-pax BBQ was in Oct '04 for my bday..how time flies.
Heh, played with sparklers too just now..and we both commented..our ages together add up to almost 60 yrs old..and we're still playing afool with sparklers...ahhaa...we were the only ones playing with sparklers...hahha...

But wahey, we both agree.
Everyday is a Valentine's Day. It's just a matter of whether you want to put in the effort or not.

It's our 636th day together on Vday...

Inertia

I'm 26 this year.
Crossing over to the late-twenties region soon.
What have I done?
What have I achieved in my life so far?

I sit in Rohlin's shop and I ponder.
I look at Peiqi being a branch manager having a whole bunch of peeps under her and I ponder.
I hear of peers running their own businesses and I ponder.
I look at ahboy's banking kakis and I ponder.
I read about 22 yr-olds starting their own business and I ponder.
I glance around me, I look at others, and I ponder.

Was doing my performance appraisal report last Friday before submitting to my manager.
And I came upon this question which asked "List down your achievements for the past year".
I got stuck. My mind drew a blank.

What have I done in the company that warrants me to list it down as an achievement?

And then as I thought about it, it escalated into a question of a broader scope.
What have I done in my life that warrants me to list it down as an achievement?

Hmm..not that my expectations are high.
But somehow, I think I've not achieved much over the last few years.
It's like as if after the initial years of exponential growth, I've mellowed and plateau-ed.

It's come to a point of inertia.
And hmm..I don't know what to do about it.
Change jobs? Go study? Learn a new craft?

Life is maybe too....mundane at the moment..?
I dunno...sigh.. ('_')

I Not Stupid Too

Went to watch "I Not Stupid Too" just now.
Part 2's better than the 1st one...the actors, both adults and children were better than the 1st movie.
Cried like anything. Came out of the cinema with red-rimmed eyes and a runny nose...
Shawn Lee and Joshua Ang have grown up. Both look quite cute..teenybopper kind with stylo-milo haircuts now..
And Joshua Ang reminds me of a young Li Nanxing..complete with the confident aloofness and "don't-F-with-me" attitude.

There's this new young boy who was one of the main cast, prolly around 8 or 9. Can't remember his name though.
Think he's good...
Somehow Jack Neo's got this knack of spotting talented kiddos..

Huang Yiliang proved his mettle again as a character actor.
Just one look of his can convey so much emotions and feelings. Kudos to him.

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Haa..somehow whenever we go GV Grand. We somehow end up in Cinema 1...the one with the curved screen which was previously used for IMAX shows...

Love you baby

There is nothing like
Wrapping my arms around you
Feeling your heart beat against mine
Having your warmth spread all through me

Are you aware that
You've got me in a vise
Tight as can be
And that I gladly am

Nothing beats
Soaking in your presence
Enthralling and intoxicating as it is
Your proximity to mine

To quote E E Cummings per se
I carry you in my heart
So I know I've got you with me
Every step of the way

You course through my veins
Filling every spare pocket within me
Driving the emptiness away

Love you baby
You know I do

I love thee

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints.
I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee after death.

~Elizabeth Barrett Browning~

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I love thee
To the crests of my being
And the depths of my soul
I love thee

Saltwater - Julian Lennon

We are a rock revolving
Around a golden sun
We are a billion children
Rolled into one
So when I hear about
The hole in the sky
Saltwater wells in my eyes

We climb the highest mountain
We'll make the desert bloom
We're so ingenious
We can walk on the moon
But when I hear of how
The forests have died
Saltwater wells in my eyes

I have lived for love
But now that's not enough
For the world I love is dying
(And now I'm crying)
And time is not a friend
(No friend of mine)
As friends we're out of time
And it's slowly passing by..yyy...yyy...yyy
Right before our eyes

We light the deepest ocean
Send photographs of Mars
We're so enchanted by
How clever we are
Why should one baby
Feel so hungry she cries
Saltwater wells in my eyes

I have lived for love
But now that's not enough
For the world I love is dying
(And now I'm crying)
And time is not a friend
(No friend of mine)
As friends we're out of time
And it's slowly passing by..yyy...yyy...yyy
Right before our eyes

We are a rock revolving
Around a golden sun
We are a billion children
Rolled into one
What will I think of me
The day that I die
Saltwater wells in my eyes

Saltwater wells in my eyes

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One of those simple songs which just makes you think of why there are such things like war, disease, epidemics, etc existent in this world...

last night....while sleeping...

Yet another night marred by dreams...I can't remember them by now..
Though there's a blurred memory of one which is still stuck in my mind...

And the reason it's stuck in my mind is that it's kinda scary..not scary in the gory way..not scary in the "pop-out-of-the-closet" way..
Rather, it's scary cos of the atmosphere the whole scene was in...it felt like a scene lifted out of a Stephen King novel. Cold, misty, dark, dank, damp & deary...

In the dream, I was in a car..travelling slowly in the night. I was in the passenger seat, somehow..Granny was the driver..yup, my 90 yr old gran..
We were just silent & cruising along when she fell asleep at the wheel.
I had to reach out to grab the steering...we veered off into a slip road..with tall shrubs on both sides..and the car stopped.
She then turned to me and started lamenting to me how she wants to die, how life is not good, yada yada..Can't remember what happened after that..

But in the next scene, the car started rolling backwards. And by now, somehow, I was in drivers seat. Yanked on the handbrake but it broke on me! It continued rolling backwards down a slope till it got stopped by a boulder.
And then suddenly, Gran jumped out of the car. I remember thinking how come she was so agile?
Screaming & ranting, I think the term for it would be "to run amok". S
he ran around..cowering under bushes, running aroug trees, hiding behind shrubs...I tried to get her to calm down to no avail.

And then Ah Gor came into the picture together with Celine & Ah Dioh...
But what happened after that was a blank...totally off my mind already.

Unsettling.
*shiver*

makansutra - the sardonic style

Ok heh...tried to be a hero...made some feeble attempts to bond with my kitchen utensils and the cooker stove over the last 2 days...

Cooked dinner for myself yesterday and today..haha...
Yesterday's fried rice was not too bad...quite nice actually..
But I proclaim a disclaimer first, what is to my taste buds might not be palatable to others....haha....

Today's attempt was hmm...how should I put it...exotic? haha...nah...experimantal would be a more apt word to use.
Fried some plain bee hoon...turned out to be quite bland..think not enough soy sauce..
Made steamed chicken as a dish..3 pieces of chicken thigh...skinned & steamed for healthy reasons..this was so-so only...
Fried vege with golden mushrooms as another dish...this turned out to be the nicest...

Haha...ok...
At least I tried!! Q('',)Q
That's the important thing.... =)

dreams...

Dreamt of weird stuff last night again..

1st scene
I saw Adrian...my brother and I saw Michelle Ho. (Wonder how she's dong by the way)
They were in hostel together..and yikes, they were a couple..holding hands and just plodding along to the canteen for dinner.
I remember going "huh???" in the dream..."how can it be possible???"

2nd scene
I saw Alison, in her hostel room. Somehow, I was part of the scene...sitting on her bed.
Then a whole bunch of other girls came in..all lugging school bags and books..Parwin was one of them.
Oh ok...apparently some sort of group project discussion was soon to be underway.
I was not part of the group so I was relegated to one obscure corner of the room..
And slowly..as they discussed & chatted..I was forgotten..kinda like faded out from their minds like as if I never existed.
It was like one of those movie scenes..where you know you're there..but when you speak, no one hears you...and when you move around, no one sees you...

Can't remember much of what happened after that...

Hmm..if dreams are a representation of the sub-conscious..then the 2nd one is possibly indicative of a fear of rejection? Hmm..on hindsight...it's actually quite a dark dream...
Gosh...*choke*

I Carry Your Heart - E.E Cummings

I carry you heart with me ( I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it (anywhere I go, you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
And it's you whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun wull always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

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Got this from small head's bloggie...
And loved it...so thought I grab it and post it here as well...

cny...post-dated

Finally had the motivation to go download the pics from my phone..haa...

Here are some of the CNY pics..in BG's house..



BG & him..being deliriously happy to down more spirits..

Laoda & me..hehe..check out his red face...

Detox!!!!

I think all the eating ever since December is taking its toll on my body.
I feel like a stuffed turkey walking around in heels.
I feel lethargic & fat.
I feel oily & meaty.

This sounds grotesque but I can't help it.
I feel like I'm full of toxins that I need to purge out...
Am embarking on a mini self-invented detox programme.

Haha...well sort of...main aim's to boost my digestive system and to clear my bowel system.
Stocked up on dried apricots, Yakult and salad from NTUC.
Am gonna drink my fav combination of fruit juice daily or at least once every two days: Pineapple, Strawberry & Watermelon...*slurp*

Gulped down 2 bottles of Yakult just now & I've already been to the toilet once..that fast??

Way to go...purge purge purge!

p/s: what the hell's the diff between Yakult & Vitagen?? I still haven't figured it out afterall these years...

more ramblings...

Saturday...the supposed Sentosa day.
Yup. "Supposed" is to the keyword.

It was so darn cloudy.
Clouds roll in the grey skies above..
Still indecisive as we approacheth the gates of the island.
To go in or not.
That is the question.
Out comes the coin.
*Twing* goes the coin as it flips through the air..
I catch it on the back of my left hand as my right covers it.
Gingerly, I take a peek..............

Well, it was "Tail" & we ended up not driving in.
Which was fated...cos it did rain after that...
Damn, somehow no fate with Sentosa... $&^(*&(@&@^$^%$^$.....and the last time I went, also no sun.
UGH....*sulk*

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Watched "Fearless" on Saturday evening..Jet Li's cool...but looks visibily much older already...
Gone are his heydays...Used to ogle at him during his "Wong Fei Hong" & "Fong Sai Yuk" days...
So plump now...

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Just had an interesting conversation on MSN.

Me: I think I'm an airhead.

PS: It's ok as long as you find meaning in being one.

Me: Hahhaha...the only worthwhile meaning of being an airhead is tat you're oblivious to the comings and goings in life...But I haven't attained that level yet so technically speaking, I'm a superficial airhead.

PS: Actually hor, I think you choose to be an airhead cos you're not really one.

Haha gal, like I've said *takes a curtsey*
Thanks for saying I've got real credibility man... =D

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Think me & HB really no fate man...
He called, I missed the call.
I called, he missed the call.
He called back, I missed it again.
I MSN-ed him, he had to go off.
He called, I missed it again!!!!

All this over a span of 2 days!

Jeepers

Was watching Channel News Asia just now. The GetReal programme hosted by Diana Ser.
Simply adore her. I think she's got the brains, the braun and the looks to top it all off.

Today's programme touched on how different (or not) students in the Gifted Programme are from those not within it.

Lotsa interviews were done with students in the GP. Aka "jeepers". And I only have two words to say "I'm impressed."
Jeepers are so god-damn articulate & well-spoken. And their thought processes are so quick & analytical.

*Impressed* Kids these days. Imagine a 16 yr-old sounding like a 25 yr-old speaking.
GOSH.

Voiced out by many of them, being in the top 1% of the student population in Singapore, puts alot of expectations on them. People expect them to "win" all the time.
Jeepers find it difficult to communicate with other students not in the GP. Other students tend to shun them or classify them as nerds. So they end up hanging out amongst themselves, further perpetuating the "social divide".
If and when they fail to meet expectations, all the more this divide widens when the rest think "What makes them different? What makes those bunch of jeepers so elitist?"

I used to think the same way. What makes them so different?
But guess I grew out of it...as do most kids...

Yo, wazzup???

Tai How...the dumbass just called me! From New Asia! On a Monday night!!
He's there now with Eugene & Teck Kong.
And he's supposed to be sick! At least that's why he couldn't make it to Alisons's house yesterday!

Haa...specifically called to tell me what he ordered..lemme see...a bottle of red wine, 2 beers, and 3 martinis for the 3 of them.
Complaining that they should have ordered more...*rolls eyes*

Luff at me somemore...saying I can't take drinks for now...think he's abit high man...hahhaha...

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As mentioned..went over to Ally's place yesterday in the evening..
Not bad, she & Keith cooked spaghetti & a chicken casserole dish..which I thought tasted not bad. But alas, only I appreciated her chicken..Keith & PQ thought it was bland..hhaa

Highlight of the day: dear PQ was sitting on the sofa...Jack-Jack the jack russell terrier (ya I know, how innovative...) came sauntering by...
He got a whiff of her scent & then got overly-excited..Pounced on her..Slobbered over her..
And the rest they say is history...She screamed her head off (couldn't tink of a more glam way to put it heh). Gosh & even teared. Poor Gal...
Keith had to come out and smack the mutt's bottom before he would get off her.

Anyway, played a round of mahjong after dinner..haha..my newfound hobby..
Wahaha...now I know why people like the game...
The feeling of gaming when you zi-mo is S-H-I-O-K.... =D
But of course, I'm just a pure novice in this intellectual game which some say takes years to master...

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crowey just msn-ed me...she n peter pan are still in office...sighz...
Boy, am I glad I didn't step into Accountancy back in uni....
That was a wise choice...a wise choice indeed.

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Ahboy's sick today...runny nose, sore throat and the likes...common ailments especially after CNY. Happens every year...Spoke to him just now...Grouchy bear.

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Been awhile since I went grocery shopping...woohoo!!
went in wanting to buy Vitagen only and perhaps a pack of Lexus biscuits (the one with the peanut filling).
Ended up buying $20-over worth of stuff...ranging from golden mushrooms to chicken thigh to rocher to milk to taiwan sausage to .....
Had to control myself...else I would have gotten more stuff... =)

Saturday...

Sighz...wonder what I ate wrong.
Eversince Thursday's lunch with Win & Siva at that Chinese Restaurant...I've been feeling weird.
Think my stomach spoil already.
Can't eat much and I always feel like puking, burping, f*rting or sh*tting.
Can't drink too much water too, else I'll feel god damn bloated.
Indigestion perhaps???

*help*
It's making me feel tired..and sometimes I can't stand straight...

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Going to leave home soon..Sentosa here I come!
But hope the weather holds out..looks kinda cloudy...

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Walked alot yesterday..from IP to Maxwell to Chinatown to Apollo Centre.
Wanted to go Ming Ge Can Ting but it was closed...!! argh...
So walked further down and ended up at TCC Clarke Quay..

Haa..spent at least 30-45 minutes watching video clips of a washed-out & spent Kel sprawled on the floor of BG's home during CNY.
Watched how he and ahboy barfed over themselves..haha..and how poor susan had to mop the floor...kaozz..haha..
Watched how they played 5-10 and how BG administered lotsa wrestling moves on Kel...hehee...

No wonder ahboy's phone batt went flat so fast that day.

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Ok, better get going...
Almost time to leave home