the uni gang

Had the BBQ gathering fo Rohlin on Friday night.
Coincidentally, it was the same chalet as the one we bunked in for the Ghost Walk during our Yr 2 orientation. the SAF Changi Chalet...

Let's see..who was there..Ah Seng, Mao Mao, HB, Chiewz, Dan, Kym, XL, Rohlin, YS, Von..
Got kinda bored after the initial fun of BBQ-ing..was just rotting and chatting around..
Supposed to play mahjong, the table and tiles were all set up already.
But somehow, ended up playing "7-up"hahaa...drank a little...my 2nd cuppa since last year.

Chiewz mentioned something. It's funny how most of us don't end up working in industries of what we studied.

Von (mktg) = teacher now, PE & Maths
Chiewz (mktg) = air stewardess
Seng (mechanical eng) = just signed contract with NIE..awaiting to go SPE in July
HB (applied economics) = signed contract already with NIE, now doing contract teaching till July..will be classmates with Seng..will be teaching PE & Chem
Mao (civil & structural eng) = doing sales now, just applied for NIE!!!
Kym (civil & structural eng) = used to be in his trade but has since branched out to banking
Dan (electrical eng) = used to be in his trade but has since branched out to banking
Sky (mechanical eng) = went from retail to purchasing..now to call centre at a local bank

Only me, xl & rohlin are doing what we studied..haa..
And the number of bankers and teachers in the group seems to be expanding...*gosh*

===========
Chiewz is as discerning as ever to my moods & feelings...
And she's still a cranky potato..bringer of smiles with her wit, charm and sincerity... =D

Sky and Ah-Ger didn't turn up for the gathering as usual..
Used to feel disappointed...Am immune to it now already
Not for Dan though...cos he got abit riled...

Hope Dan's able to do good at his branch in Bedok..
And hope Kym will do good in his new endeavour too...

As for Rohlin, really good to see things are panning out so well for her...going over to UK for a year or so...
Though poor YS has to tend the shop on his own now that she's going away...taxing on him..

===========
Till the next gathering then..wonder who will organise/initiate things this time?

Insecure

As from dictionary.com

• Not sure or certain; doubtful
• Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe
• Not firm or fixed; unsteady
• Lacking stability; troubled
• Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety

Insecurity. What a trait.

Rumour Has It

Caught "Rumour Has It" just now...quite nice...

Jennifer Aniston with her trademark locks looks quite hcio in some angles and just average in other scenes...Nevertheless, she's quite alright playing the nervous Sarah in the show..

Shirley McLaine...what cna I say about her..like the Chinese saying goes..the older the ginger, the spicier it gets..i.e. the older you get, the more experiences you get...
And she shone in her character...brought much laughter and dry humour into the show..and injected much neede comic relief when things got abit too monotonous...

Mena Suvari..kinda cute...bimbo type...but still cute..=p

Kevin Costner...still as charming as 15 years ago when he won my heart in Dances with Wolves and Robin Hood...Though he's got much more crinkly wrinkles and a small paunch..heh..
But his smile is still a killer one...

==========
buay lun
an gonna zzzz
have to be at Kranji MRT for event tmr morn at 730am..
*faint*

the sullen shell...

The happy, bouncing, cheerful shell of the past 4-5 days...
Has suddenly morphed into a sullen shell again..within the span of an evening..and of cos, with the aid of the sentimental songs of Wang Jie and Lee Hom.

A verse from Lee Hom's "你不在" stuck with me...
你不在...当我最需要爱...你却不在...Loosely translated as "You weren't there...When I needed love the most..But you weren't there.."
Struck out at my tear ducts and my eyes were just glistening whilst on the train...trundling along...feeling cold, tired and lonely...

===========
I do believe in astrology, star signs and whatever not...

And so far, one horoscope I read pertaining to those born in the year of the Monkey seems to hold quite true..It mentioned something.
Emotional monkeys will be even more emotional this year..feelings will be erratic and difficult to control..
Tears which came easily will come even more easily this year..And mood swings are rampant.
Shucks...god-damn true so far.

Another thing it said. For those with elders staying at home together, will be good to take extra note of their health. And well..Gran fell that day..And mum is starting to cough again.

Hmm...it also said that there's a high chance that job opportunities overseas or new job opportunities as a whole will come crossing a monkey's path. Sounds good eh..
And also that there might be half-truths/gossip/rumours circulating about yourself in the office arena...hmmm mm..ah well...

============
slap in the face again...not from the boss this time..

XX : what brand of running shoes you wanna get?
Me: dunno..see how..maybe go Queensway to see lor
XX : Nike lor
Me: But Nike is not one of the best brands for running shoes leh
XX: You this kind..don't need the best what. A cheap one will do.
Me: *sullen silence*

KNN.
sibei sibei encouraging. argh...

zzzz...

The patience of a Saint in Hardship;
The tenacity of a Bulldog in Adversity;
The courage of a Lion when Roused; and
The chivalry of a Knight in all his Dealings.

Got this from a business partner's email signature.
Thought it was kinda interesting.

===========
sigh...kinda sad when you hand in your work..your boss looks through and then asks you.
"Do you think XXX can do a better job?"

Kaozz...*faint*.
What do you call that?

I'll call it a point blank slap in the face..OUCH!!!!!

===========
ah lian ah lian is a boppie!!
head so big, looks so snoppie!!
ooooooh but aint she a real hottie??
dunch ya juz wanna get so naughty?!?!

I feel so honoured..hahah Enigma conjured this up suddenly via MSN...
hahhahahhaha kaozz.........

Guess who am I?

I'm yellow..I'm square...I wear pants..
I've got great absorption powers and some say I look like a walking piece of cheese!
I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!!


You are the classic person that everyone loves.
You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to lose.
You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings.
Life is a journey. It's funny and calm for the most part.
Stay away from traitors and jealous people then you will be stress-free.

=======
hmm...did this test this afternoon..
Haa...sounds like a saint...

musings for the day...

wah lan...today is a name-calling day...haa...a day when I kena arrows & "insults" shot at me..

Purpleskies called me "The Human Vibrator". How glam. Tsk Tsk.
Ahboy called me an "Auntie".
Lian called me a "Dumb Spastic". Or something to that effect...or was it Spasticated Idiot?...hmm..cun remember...
And lastly, dear old Red Biscuit called me hmm..or rather, he said I'm not a sharp person..which to me translates a little to "dim-witted"....

Nabeh!!
What have I done to deserve this?
*laments laments*

=========
Finally went for my haircut..8 or 9 months since the last time I went..haa..

Jasper lost weight...had a difficult time too..eversince her womb surgery...some kinda fist-sized growth which was removed about 9 months ago...shortly after my last cut with her.
But she still looks as chio as ever...love her eyes..so big n bright!

She lopped off a good 5 - 6 inches of my hair...*faint*...
Looked down to see a pool of my hair..against the black backdrop of the flooring..it looked like a brown mass of semi dried grass...
Hmm..though now half the hair's rebonded and the other half is not...err...half is flat..and the other half is not...hmm...though not that noticeable..but still abit weird..haa...

==========
Adrian gave me a call just now..to check on how I'm doing since the incident...
Ah well..life's still like that...Though I must say..going back to work has definitely made me happier...
Not forgetting I was out almost everyday last week...muahahaha....

==========
Rohlin's going over to UK soon..end of month tentatively...for a year..not long, not short either...hope everything pans out well for her...
Wish her all the best....

==========
Me am a green monster... *pout pout*
Ahboy...sigh..need I say more..?? He'll be getting at least 3 more stamps on his passport within the next 2 weeks...double sigh & triple sigh...

==========
I am such a horrid employee...
Spent the day MSN-ing, chatting with Lian & Radio, day-dreaming & thinking of when should I take leave and just chill...
Kaozz...tsk tsk..wonder how my performance bonus will be? haaa....

Till here....
I sleepy-ne..
Want to zzz...

Sunday....pre-Monday blues...

Went to the IT Fair today.
And walked out $600 bucks poorer. Am the proud new owner of a Canon Ixus 60 digicam... =)
Taking into consideration the amount I've spent in the last two weeks on my optical stuff and the NUH bill..grass seems a good option for my meals in the coming weeks.
Hmm..think just these 3 receipts alone has made me $2.3K poorer..*faint*
Okie, time for prudence to rear its head again... =p

Hung around Suntec for awhile, then Marina Square...madhouse in both places.
Half the population seems to have converged in that area alone man..
Left foot got rolled over by a pram in the IT Fair..and jabbed by an incompetent guy who didn't seem to understand the mechanics of walking.

Made our way to old Kallang Airport for makan...went to say hi to mama choy..
Hmm..she definitely looked more radiant than the previous time I saw her...think the 10 days break really did her good..haha...

========
Kel & I are really awaiting for the Tamp swimming complex to reopen...hmm heard from Lydia's sis that there's slides in there now??
Hope that won't lure more kids there...

========
Did something dumb yesterday..haa...Ahboy & I drove around to measure the distance which I ran on Friday night...
Wow, all along, I thought the distance from the playground to the ulu carpark was 400 metres...he gauged it at 370 metres...
When we drove and measured...it turned out to be 700 metres!!
Yay...hehe...so that means, I have hit about 800 metres...running without stopping..
Err....DEFINITELY nothing to shout about...but judging by my "lam nuah" standards...haha..it's a start..
Shall aim to hit 1.5km by mid-April...hmm..can I?
Think I can..provided I'm still as diligent.. =))
Ganbattene!!

========
Tomorrow's Monday again...
XIAN...

Who Am I?

I am a spoilt brat.
I am a princess wannabe.
I pout, I sulk and I throw tantrums.

I am a bitch at times.
I am a tai-tai wannabe.
I gossip, I complain and I can be mean.

I am a meek little lamb.
I am a sweet-young-thing wannabe.
I smile, I beam and I can be really nice.

I am a cranky silly bonkers ape.
I am a Mr Bean wannabe.
I shriek, I laugh hysterically and I am nonsensical.

I am a bimbo at times.
I am a Paris Hilton wannabe.

I am a child at heart.
I am a Lolita wannabe.

I am a listener.
I am a friend.

I am...
I am...

Me, myself and I.

the hitching game

Blinkymummy posted something today which is kinda interesting..An analogy of the hitching game in Singapore..
Love the way she puts things metaphorically..My mind can never think in such a manner...
You can read about it here.

Simply put, girls in SG have a shelf life?
Simply put, girls in SG wanna get hitched fast & are afraid of their own "expiry dates"?
Simply put, girls in SG have a "grab & go" mentality when choosing their life partners?

Well...not all...some maybe...

I fall into some categories mentioned by her...and I'm sure most of the girls around me do too in one way or another...
Ah well..such are the traits of people when conventions mould them through time I suppose.

WISHLIST : lasik, driving & travel...

Lasik...hmm...
Another item in my wishlist. Though am still deciding whether or not it should be in this year's list or next year's...

Heard from Ginger & Daniel that the pre-assessment does hurt..but the actual procedure itself doesn't...HMMM MM......

Driving...hmm...
Let's see if JT gives the go ahead after the review...
Coming soon...counting down to see him...looking forward..
Been a week since I stopped Epilim... =D

Travel...hmm...
Am impressed with Sunny Holidays..
They gave an extension of a year for the vouchers...exceeded our expectations man..
Wonder if JT's letter did the job or Ahboy's killer dimples?...hahahaaa....

Wishes...hmm...

dunno what to put...

Still trying to get into momentum at work...haa...still abit slack.
But nevertheless, it feels good to be back at work. Away from home for 80% of the time that I'm awake...

Might be more changes. I might be taking over ICT from lian..& like what I told the old burong..I'm just a puppet..who controls the strings, I dun really care already...just tell me what to do & I'll do it accordingly...Still awaiting news of my fate though..

Lian's going on leave already..hmm mm..have to start taking over her stuff liao...

==========
Let's see..Monday night..met Kel & Ling for makan...the bak chor mee@ Fei Siong in Cen Sq..followed by prata at Food Junction in Cen Sq also..
Haa...still remember the "Junior Superheroes" conversation we had...sibei corny..

Tuesday..had dinner with Ahboy @ LiangSeah Eating Place & brownie @ Creation!! woohoo!..

Wednesday..met up with the duckie babes @ Sketches Bugis...gosh..Selin's ROM pics really look good...she's so sweet & photogenic..And glad Angel's moved on..she seems much happier now and more radiant..what a coincidence, met her at the 293 bus-stop..happened that Wilson stays at Blk 411..aiyoh..just 5 mins away...

Today..din with TH, Eugene & PQ @ Phins Steakhouse Tampines Mall...

Tomorrow...hmm...might pop by to cut hair if Jasper has slots available...else it'll be home for a jog...

Out everyday since Sunday night's incident..kinda consider it as a short reprieve...
Though it's tiring me out..not really talking to them, unless it's necessary...not trying to be unfilial or rude or whatever shit..
Just that, I am still not over the incident. And when my mind stops to think about it (which sometimes happenss unknowingly), I still get ballistic & tensed up.

==========
Sigh, wun be able to go Sentosa on Saturday.
Have to be at home...custodian of granny...

==========
Argh...I busted my MHS claims for the year...I have to pay the NUH bill...and after claiming from medisave...
I still need to pay $1K...

*sulks*

Deliverance

Since young, I have lived my life the way you wanted it to be.
I have always listened to you.
I have never voiced out my thoughts otherwise.
I have never gone against you, albeit once or twice.
I have never faltered in my academic quests. Though they are nothing to shout about.
But they are still quests which you proudly proclaim to your friends and relatives.

Isn't it time for me to lead my own life?
Isn't it time for me to live a little?
Isn't it time for me to breathe a little?
Isn't it time for me to run free a little?
Isn't it time to chart my own path a little?
25 years.
It ain't too much to ask for ain't it?

Seeking peace
Seeking happiness
Seeking deliverance
Deliverance from?
From you.

The cord was cut when I was born
Cast aside as a piece of irrelevance
Though still an invisible one remains
That of blood ties and kinship
That of which
Is taut, is suffocating and is constricting

Did you ever realise it?
No, I guess you didn't
No, I guess you never did realise
And no, I guess you never knew
How much hurt I felt
When you called me "crazy"
When you said "don't give me any more problems".

.....

Hmm...1st day of not taking epilim.
Feeling slightly apprehensive...*choi choi choi*

Going back to work soon..
Come to think of it..not really looking forward to it like how I looked forward to it last November.

my friday.....

Went to Guanyin Temple to pray today.
Long time since I went, thought I'd pop by. Didn't realise it but think I spent a good 15-20mins kneeling in front of GuanYin NiangNiang, muttering all sorts of things..

Was waylaid by a young boy before I went into the temple, asking for some kinda donation for needy children..decided to be nice and donate $10 to buy a coupon..then an old lady came..asking me to buy tissue..decided to be nice again and buy from her...
Shit man..never-ending..another lady came by asking to donate $$ for a temple building project...and then another...had to stop at these 2 ladies...
If I keep up being nice..think I'll run out of $$ before even stepping into the temple.

========
Anyway, met up with him later and ended up at Marina Square..the bloody place has changed so much that after a few times of being there, I'm still trying to figure out the various nooks and crannies of the place.
Jalan quite abit..haa..legs were aching..especially after all the mini jog sessions over the last few days..

Lemme see what did I get today..a skirt, a pair of slippers, a casual bright pink bag...yups...think that's about it..=))
realised something..I seem to like the colour green more and more...=)))

Initially thought of playing pool...
But then voila...we ended up at....THE BOWLING ALLEY!
Kaozz..been at least 7 or 8 years since I last stepped into a bowling alley...was quite a refreshing thing to do man...
Though err....my scores sucked big time...didn't even cross 70 for a game..hehe...
I'M THE LONGKANG QUEEN!

was at the taxi stand queueing for a cab home when I saw Ng Sen in the same queue..didn't really say hi to her..ah well..but ahboy commented that she looked old..at least 28 or 30 yrs old...hmm..well, if I were in a suit, think I'd look that age too...

========
Met Wanjun whilst we were shopping around..wow..changed so much..she's looking good..=)
But am quite surprised..mentioned that she's going into nursing..gonna enrol in NYP soon, if they accept her.
From Prudential to Singtel as a content developer..to nursing...hmm...quite varied career switches...haa...

???

hmm...stomach spoil...not much appetite..
I've lost about 2-3kg within 2 weeks I think..

=======
Gran almost fell in the toilet again today, whilst taking a bath.
Argh...small slip-up..luckily mum was there to catch her..

After lunch, was walking from the kitchen back to the living room when she lost her balance a 2nd time.
Heng...both mum and dad were around..and heng too that the fridge was behing her to break her fall.

Liews..

========
yesh..will be meeting up with the duckie girls next wed and sec sch gang next thurs...
Yay!! Catch-up time...=)

========
hitting the beach on Sunday....woohoo!!!!!
hmm..but tomorrow have to stay home...sigh...parents going out...
I gottta be at home with gran...

========
~bimbo trivia~
Biotherm's gonna halt their production of mascara products. =(

purpleskies, wonder if you knew about it?

enigma aka jianming

Another bro of mine...funny how we knew each other...been quite long...since 2000 or 2001, when the FunkyGrad forum was still up and running..
Yet, we only knew each other better last year..and somehow, within this short period of time..he's been there for me as much as I can remember.
With lots of words of encouragement, lots of listening-ear sessions...some late night MSN chat sessions or even during office hours...and lotsa advice...

Just had a very engaging conversation with him on MSN. We've not met up all this while..yet he's able to grasp spot on of all my thoughts and emotions.
Think we're alike in many ways...emotional people. Very in touch with our emotions, and henceforth our fears and insecurities...

One important thing he told me tonight.
"It's ok to fall. It's ok to feel vulnerable. The trick is in managing those fears and insecurities and not let them cripple you. Don't beat yourself up over things."

And just before he went to bed, he left me with this...
"If you feel unloved...remember this...i love you...i love you to death....and many people do as well...it's gonna be alright."

home..

MUM...tired out but still trying to maintain a smile on her face..Gran wet the bed this morning even though diapers were on..had to change her clothes, the bedding, the blanket and all at 6am in the morning...mum's washing and disinfecting clothes everyday now...

DAD...tired too and quite edgy..keeping tabs on Gran..

GRAN...suffering in silence..think her leg's painful at times..and she feels like a burden. Caught her with a runny nose and red eyes just now..Memory's fading..Seeing her try to get up and walk with the frame makes my heart skip a beat..no, many beats...

my pesky big bro

Had a nice nice chat with MJ just now...been really long since I last spoke to him..
And I know I can always count on him for sound advice and a listening ear...
Haha..this pesky big bro of mine...

So near, yet so far..living just a few blocks from each other..yet seldom meet...
Think I will drag him out sometime in the next 2 weeks...

Shared alot with me...gave me some pointers...gave me some directions..
Gave me frank, blunt and sometimes cutting remarks..but in a way, he's just trying to make sure that I take care of myself..
And that I have a clearer sense of things and situations..
Guess he's also trying to show me the reality of things which might happen or which could happen...Spoke of his experiences as well...to draw some parallels...

And he just always seems to be able to pick up right on what I'm trying to convey...
Appreciate his being there...

Haha...talked about how he almost went after me in 97/98...after the TP incident..
But didn't in the end cos there was too much at stake..just as well..cos I can't visualise us together at all..haha...

Hearing him speak so strongly and world-wisely made it hard to imagine that this was the same guy...the same emotional guy...
Who once rang me at 230am in the morn, dragged me out of bed...
And made me sneak out of my house to meet him at my void deck in the middle of the night.
And then dropped his head on my lap when we were seated at a stone table...
And started bawling his eyes out for 2 hours.

haa..memories...

28th february

Heart pain..budget busted...just spent $720..on a year's supply of disposable half-toric contact lenses and a new pair of specs..
Ahboy was the image consultant..ended up with a hmm...how should I put it...cyber blue pair of specs?...

Anyway, gotta eat grass for next month liao..
Good oso...healthier...

=======
28th February. 2 years ago..the fateful day when I ended things with the red biscotti.
Technically speaking though, it was on 29th Feb...it was a leap year in 2004.

=======
Went for review just now with the throat doc. Kena the scope thing again..argh..
Everytime I see him, I have to do the scope. Uncomfy to have the dumb tube poked through your nostril all the way down to your throat.

Anyway, the vocal cords are still slightly swollen which he said was a natural thing. But he said the wound's healing well...and the growth (which they sent for testing) is absolutely benign.
*huge sigh of relief*

His advice: Do not speak loudly. Do not whisper too. As these will cause strain on the vocal cords.
Come back and see me next week. We'll arrange for the speech therapy next week too.

Ack. Speech therapy. *faint*

=======
me want to go canoeing
me want to go indoor climbing
me want to go swimming
me want to go travelling

me want me want me want!!!
can i can i can i???
when when when???