Conversations with a 4yr-old

Alyssa said this to K on Saturday morning...

"Dada, you have a big head but you have a small brain."

K and I were so surprised!
Whereever did she learn that from? haha....

=================
And then later, on the same Saturday....we were on our way home.
It was 1pm already and she was losing energy and ready to nap. She was cranky too.

She asked me to carry er after we got out of the car. While doing so, she knee-ed me in the crotch and I kinda howled in pain and surprise.

She scowled and rolled her eyes at me and then announced....

"Small thing also fuss."

(-_-)''

Dio suan by a 4yr-old.....

Confidence

Feeling like you're not performing well enough.
Feeling like you're not good enough.
Feeling sub-standard. 
Feeling sub-par.
Feeling...

The older I get, the less confident I become.
Where's the bravado of my 20s?
(Or was it foolhardiness?)
Where's the determination of my early 30s?
I'm hitting 40 and I feel....tired.

There are days when I feel like almost like a superhero...a superhero octopus...managing several things at once.

There are other days when I feel I am dropping things here and there...balls spilling over my arms...rolling away....

Jiayou Michelle
You can do this
I can do this
Hae suiss-da
Hae suiss-da
Hae suiss-da

Coping

I told ST this...

"stay strong, don't give up....just take each day as it comes...get through each day or each half a day ...take it as little milestones that you have achieved...makes it more manageable...."

After I sent her this Skype message...i suddenly realised....
What I told her...was what I told (and sometimes still tell) myself too...

random musings

A guy who left the organisation 8 years ago was the same designation as me. Spent 8 years outside...and now came back to the organisation 2 grades higher than me...

Hmmm...

===============
A guy left the team. He was a grade higher than me.
The next most experienced guy in his team is covering his role now....
This new guy suddenly went from a rank below me....to covering a role that's a rank above me....

===============
Laoniang has spent 12 years in this place.
And will probably be spending another 10 years more.....

Doodle haiku

It has been awhile
Since Pen touched Paper and then
The following came


2nd photo is one of a single unbroken line

Sigh...

ST went for her scan this afternoon. And she updated me with not so good news.

The foetus didn't seem to have grown since the previous scan 2 weeks ago though there is still heartbeat activity. Doc told her that if by next week's scan there is still no growth, they will need to sit down and decide what to do....

Not sure if the doc spelled it out to her clearly what this means or not. But if there's no growth or development, I believe they would need to abort the foetus...

I really wish things would turn out right for her...this whole journey of trying for a baby via IVF has been emotionally challenging and very difficult. Many ups and downs. I feel so much for her but can't do anything also...except to say some encouraging words...

She went silent on Whatsapp already. Her last text was "Very sad....helpless".

Hugs gal...I hope everything turns out alright in the end...and baby will pull through...

猫不在, 老鼠们出来跳舞咯!

Quand le chat ne pas la, les souris dansent

This is the one and only French idiom that has stuck in my mind since I stopped learning French almost 10 years ago.

It means....when the cat's not around, the mice (come out to) dance!

The boss is away today, tomorrow and Friday.

The Coll came in at 9-plus and had a 2-hour lunch today.

TSK.

*wags fingers*

;p

Parenting

I made Nadya cry this morning

To be fair, she wasn’t entirely at fault 

K made Alyssa cry big time this morning as well

I hate to start my days like this
Because sometimes it affects me quite alot
And I get moody and emotional
Like today

It's a thin line?
Teaching and guiding based on fear
Versus a more nuanced approach based on love and care

Sometimes I think we are too harsh on them
After all we ourselves are trying our best to navigate this big world
What more those two little beings 

Positivity

I'm not a positive person by nature
It doesn't come naturally to me
So I try to remind myself often
To have a more positive mindset and outlook

It does take up my energy
With the self-reminders and
Being conscious of my own thoughts and feelings

Cheers to a better me
And cheers to better days

Walk on

I had around 3 good weeks. 

It was a long, good stretch. 

The best and longest stretch I've experienced since early this year. 

This week had a little dip. 

But it's still ok. 

Walk on. 

Keep it up Michelle. 

Keep going.

Keep working on it. 

Keep working on things.

At your own pace. 

You may be slow at times or backslide at times. 

But it's ok. 

So long as you are still moving forward on the whole. 

Compared to when you first started.

小领悟

自信和自大
只差一个字
但两个状态是有很大的不一样

没法对别人的行为有所控制
但至少要对自己的状态,情绪和理解拿捏得好
找个平衡出来

学华语

After watching 10 episodes of the Chinese dating show...I feel like my Mandarin has improved a little...

Maybe I should consider immersing myself in more Chinese stuff to improve my Mandarin haha....

heart flutter moments

Recently finished watched "Heart Signal 2", the Chinese version of a reality dating show which originated from Korea.

Laoniang is a sucker for such stuff...whether scripted or not.

2 particular scenes of a guy and a girl...which made me swoon and flutter hahaha...

Scene #1: 

A group of them celebrating a bday. This guy pulled one girl aside then gave her a present…She asked why he gave her a present when she’s not the bday girl…

He said “因为我不想看到别的女生有礼物收可是你没礼物收.”

Wah sibei melt....!!

Scene #2: 

The same guy said this to the same girl that he likes…when he confessed to her that he likes her a lot “这是我们相遇的第25天， 也是我想跟你告白的第24天.”

Wah sibei melt part 2!!!


haha....

reminder to self

There is a particular person in my team whom I admit I am somewhat biased against.

Reminding myself to remain objective when dealing with her. And also...to remain patient, to not let my biasedness taint the interaction I have with her. Because thoughts affect feelings which will affect behaviour.

Difficult...but I am learning...and working to improve myself.

Ganbatte!

Laoniang having slight sore throat liao...:(
Nose still a little stuffy and sneezed a couple of times this morning.

No biggie though. Mind over body!

*yuuuuuu*

Noob painter noob artist

Laoniang bought acrylic paints and some 15X15cm stretched canvas on frames recently.

They've since arrived.

Laoniang needs to find some 灵感 now on what to paint haha....

Hazy Dayz

The air is thick, heavy and smoky these past few days.
The weather in Singapore is humid. The haze is amplifying that humidity alot more.
I'm thankful to be in office, where the aircon keeps it a constant 25C and circulates the air somewhat.

My face and some other areas are starting to itch.
My eyes too.
My nose is itchy as well and getting a little stuffed.

I hope it rains soon.

Move

Trudge on
Walk on
Keep moving
Keep grinding

Hwaiting!

Gaja!

Let's get it!

You can do this!

I can do this!

We can do this!

Engrish...

Common errors that I've seen multiple times....even from bosses:

Using "respond" instead of "response"
E.g. This is in respond to what the agency mentioned.

Using "own" instead of "owe"
E.g. She did us a favour, we own her big time.


Irks me everything I see these errors....but I realised that it's really common...why ah?