SCM 2009 - Women's 10km

I completed the Women’s 10km Standard Chartered Run this morning.

My first time completing a 10km run. Well, it was more like a walk-run-walk kind of thing. But still, I completed it and it was around the timeframe I thought I would complete the run.

I thought I would feel good about completing the run. I don’t know why but it felt a little empty and less of an accomplishment compared to when I finished the 5.8km Yellow Ribbon Prison Run back in September.

I spent a good part of the whole afternoon and evening curled up in bed resting. I didn’t feel good physically. I didn’t prepare nor train for the run properly and I think I over-exerted myself. I didn’t have a good breakfast before the run too.

I’ve got a sore upper right thigh now and am walking a little like a duck or penguin. Not quite sure how I’m gonna walk to office tomorrow. Hmm.

Some other things have been running through my mind. I’ve been thinking and asking myself these. What’s the purpose of me joining these runs? For fun? For leisure? To challenge myself? Who am I trying to prove things to? Myself? Others? What am I trying to prove? That I’m not a weakling? So what if I complete these runs? So what? Then what?

A part of me thinks I’m over-compensating for my younger years during which I was not allowed to do any physical activities (due to a mis-diagnosis of a heart condition). Another part of me thinks I am doing these to prove (to no one in particular? I don’t know really…) that maybe I’m not some princess who can’t do such things.

I’m feeling damn shacked out now and yet another part of me is saying that perhaps I should admit to myself that I can’t compare myself to others who are more physically fit.

Ok, I am babbling already. Sigh.